(no subject)
School starts a week from today. It's amazing how much I've changed this summer. I love the new me. I'm really a new person. But sometimes I still feel like something is missing. And deep inside I know there is...for once..I want to find true love again. But as soon as I stop looking, I know it will come to me. But i'm tired of waiting, I'm just tired of everything. I don't know. Dave is an amazing guy. I've known him for 3 years, almost 4 now and I truely love him. But it's just not there. Sometimes I still feel that there is really something wrong with me. That I'll never be good enough for anybody. But I keep my head up. I keep on trucking :] Because I know there is really nobody in this world that can stop me. People have been cruel lately but you know, I've really just learned to ignore them because what they say, doesn't matter. They are either just jealous because they know I have a good life. They know that I'm a great person. There are still days that I worry about myself.
I've learned life is just one big game and you can either win and gain things, or loose and loose everything. I've gained a lot this summer. I've gained self control, I know when enough is enough. I've gained self esteem & confidence. I think higher of myself. I know I'm beautiful and I don't need anybody to tell me that. It's always nice to hear nice things like that. I've gained trust with people again. I thought I had lost one of my best friends in the beginning of the summer. Turns out, we're still friends :] We aren't really close like we used to be, but we are still friends. And really, that's all that matters :] I've learned to get to know somebody before you start a relationship with them. Make sure they are in the relationship for the right reasons. Not to get into things and just have sex. I hate that. And it's like I can't get away from it.
I've gotten closer with all my other friends this summer too. Liz and I were pretty much never apart this summer. Her house is really my home away from home :] I'm either at my house or hers. It's really nice knowing that she is there for me anytime I need her. Anytime I just need to get something off my chest and talk, she's there. No guarantee she'll have anything to say back to me, but she'll listen. She is really a great friend to have. I'm glad she is my best friend.
My summer is coming to a close, only with a few major things left to do. Sam is coming over tomorrow to stay the night :] Uber excited about that :] But as of right now, I have no other plans for the rest of the weekend. Sunday, I'm going back to my grandma's house, possibly with Liz and my mom is taking us to Old Navy & Fashion Bug for some new school clothes for me :] I've lost so much weight I don't really have any close to where for school :] I'm extremly happy about that.
Summer 2006 wasn't all that I was hoping for. But I think it was a summer to remember for myself. I made a lot of new changes to myself and with my friends. Going to Monroe was amazing. Mostly because of Dave but because it was probably the last time I'll ever go back and stay like that because Sam decided to move in with her stupid boyfriend, whom I don't care for much. Nikki and I got extremly close. And John, Franki, and Bill are close buddies now :] And Dave, well, things between me and him aren't for certain, but I love him more than anything :]
I think this summer was for me to start putting up my building blocks to a new future. A new me. A whole new life<3
I've learned life is just one big game and you can either win and gain things, or loose and loose everything. I've gained a lot this summer. I've gained self control, I know when enough is enough. I've gained self esteem & confidence. I think higher of myself. I know I'm beautiful and I don't need anybody to tell me that. It's always nice to hear nice things like that. I've gained trust with people again. I thought I had lost one of my best friends in the beginning of the summer. Turns out, we're still friends :] We aren't really close like we used to be, but we are still friends. And really, that's all that matters :] I've learned to get to know somebody before you start a relationship with them. Make sure they are in the relationship for the right reasons. Not to get into things and just have sex. I hate that. And it's like I can't get away from it.
I've gotten closer with all my other friends this summer too. Liz and I were pretty much never apart this summer. Her house is really my home away from home :] I'm either at my house or hers. It's really nice knowing that she is there for me anytime I need her. Anytime I just need to get something off my chest and talk, she's there. No guarantee she'll have anything to say back to me, but she'll listen. She is really a great friend to have. I'm glad she is my best friend.
My summer is coming to a close, only with a few major things left to do. Sam is coming over tomorrow to stay the night :] Uber excited about that :] But as of right now, I have no other plans for the rest of the weekend. Sunday, I'm going back to my grandma's house, possibly with Liz and my mom is taking us to Old Navy & Fashion Bug for some new school clothes for me :] I've lost so much weight I don't really have any close to where for school :] I'm extremly happy about that.
Summer 2006 wasn't all that I was hoping for. But I think it was a summer to remember for myself. I made a lot of new changes to myself and with my friends. Going to Monroe was amazing. Mostly because of Dave but because it was probably the last time I'll ever go back and stay like that because Sam decided to move in with her stupid boyfriend, whom I don't care for much. Nikki and I got extremly close. And John, Franki, and Bill are close buddies now :] And Dave, well, things between me and him aren't for certain, but I love him more than anything :]
I think this summer was for me to start putting up my building blocks to a new future. A new me. A whole new life<3