(no subject)
Today's been a shitty day..First to start with.. My dad hit me.. then.. my family made me go to a Twisted Sister concert at the ocean front.. After that I was grouped by some asshole whom tried to get into my pants. Then when I geth ome hoping to fin Bobbie here still, some asshole under her list tells me that she cheated on me. And what shocks me the most was I didn't believe him but it still hurt, a lot.. and if anoyone knwos me.. when I get hurt I have trust issues.. But right now I don't.. I juss wish I had some assurance that she wouldn't.. but I do have her word.. and I'm keeping her up on it..She said her and Monique look alike.. so we'll see what else I hear from that asshole she calls a friend =\.
When her and I talked about it, she said she knew I started cutting again. I didn't know she still read my lj. =\. But it's cool.. Everyone's been tryna make me stop for the passed week.. n I really didnt want to.. but maybe thats one of my problems thats been driving me to depression.. I don't know. She's mad I lied to her.. and it's the first time n only time that I did.. but I don't want to lie to her again.. so I'm really going to stop cutting..
I talked to Jen awhile ago. I was really goign to end it then.. but she helped me keep my sanity.. and then Micheal told me to get drunk and which I was going to.. but decided drinking isn't an answer.. and besides.. I hate people who drink.. =/.
Chris is at Bobbie's.. so she's taking him home..She said she'd be back in an hour so yeah.. I wish I didn't get under her e-mail now.. kuz now I'm questioning everything and I know this shit won't go away for awhile =\..
I'm so tired.. I'm going to go get something to drink and wash my face and stuff.. I still didn't eat yet.. but I'm not hungry either so I'm not eating.. I cleaned my room earlier. It looks better. All my clothes are put away except my pants and shorts. I don't have a drawer for those and I don't have any room in my closet for them so their folded and stacked on my dresser.
Oh, we found my dresser. My mom ordered it <3. It has 5 drawers. The one I have has 4.. but thats enough room for my pantsss =). And well.. It has 7 =\. Theres like 2 small drawers.. one middle one thats the same size as the bottom four.. Lol.. I have like a bra drawer, next is my sock drawer, and hten my undies.. below those drawrs i have 2 shirt drawers.. and below those.. i have 2 more shirt drawers.. except one drawer has my beach wear. Bikini.. and outfits I bought at the beach to go over it.. Like a tube top, thats inna propriate for any where else.. and a skirt n shit thats thin and would never wear it anywhere else :P.
But yeah.. Bobbie ;; I'm sorry I lied to you, and I'm sorry about getting so upset about what I heard. I love you, and I don't ever want to lose you.. and if I ever did.. let's just say I wouldn't be living anymore. =\.. It just scared me when I heard that.. That's how I heard about Jen and everyone else I dated, and when I heard that about you, I got scared, and it hurt so much.. and yeah a portion of me believed him.. but I'd believe you over a stranger any day.. but what gets me is that.. He's one of your pals.. and you aren't even a little pissed off at him that he said all that to me.. So yeah..
When her and I talked about it, she said she knew I started cutting again. I didn't know she still read my lj. =\. But it's cool.. Everyone's been tryna make me stop for the passed week.. n I really didnt want to.. but maybe thats one of my problems thats been driving me to depression.. I don't know. She's mad I lied to her.. and it's the first time n only time that I did.. but I don't want to lie to her again.. so I'm really going to stop cutting..
I talked to Jen awhile ago. I was really goign to end it then.. but she helped me keep my sanity.. and then Micheal told me to get drunk and which I was going to.. but decided drinking isn't an answer.. and besides.. I hate people who drink.. =/.
Chris is at Bobbie's.. so she's taking him home..She said she'd be back in an hour so yeah.. I wish I didn't get under her e-mail now.. kuz now I'm questioning everything and I know this shit won't go away for awhile =\..
I'm so tired.. I'm going to go get something to drink and wash my face and stuff.. I still didn't eat yet.. but I'm not hungry either so I'm not eating.. I cleaned my room earlier. It looks better. All my clothes are put away except my pants and shorts. I don't have a drawer for those and I don't have any room in my closet for them so their folded and stacked on my dresser.
Oh, we found my dresser. My mom ordered it <3. It has 5 drawers. The one I have has 4.. but thats enough room for my pantsss =). And well.. It has 7 =\. Theres like 2 small drawers.. one middle one thats the same size as the bottom four.. Lol.. I have like a bra drawer, next is my sock drawer, and hten my undies.. below those drawrs i have 2 shirt drawers.. and below those.. i have 2 more shirt drawers.. except one drawer has my beach wear. Bikini.. and outfits I bought at the beach to go over it.. Like a tube top, thats inna propriate for any where else.. and a skirt n shit thats thin and would never wear it anywhere else :P.
But yeah.. Bobbie ;; I'm sorry I lied to you, and I'm sorry about getting so upset about what I heard. I love you, and I don't ever want to lose you.. and if I ever did.. let's just say I wouldn't be living anymore. =\.. It just scared me when I heard that.. That's how I heard about Jen and everyone else I dated, and when I heard that about you, I got scared, and it hurt so much.. and yeah a portion of me believed him.. but I'd believe you over a stranger any day.. but what gets me is that.. He's one of your pals.. and you aren't even a little pissed off at him that he said all that to me.. So yeah..