oh yeah and when i said the older man never works, what i should have said is that it works for a while if you start dating the older man when you are still a TEEN but normally doesnt work out, because you will seriously change alot within the first portion of your 20s, the way you view life in general, its not like you will become a different person,the same things may still make you laugh etc.i think the older man thing is great if you are in the same stage of life as that other person, meaning, out of the party phase, out of college and in the working world and possibilly living on your own (doesnt aways apply).that thing i speak of with jeff did work out great for a while,we never fought and laughed often he was my best friend at that time. some of my gal friends out right used to compair my relationship to theirs and how theirs could be more like mine, this made me feel bad when deep down i knew the passion wasnt there and that little bug in me that still wanted to expirence other guys was still in me. i wasnt ready for the solid deal especially with someone who seemed a world more expirenced than myself at the time and who was at a different stage in life than me (he was grad college and i was just starting). i guess maybe if you are the type of girl who wants to be married by the time you are 21 and have kids at 22 that is fine. but i always wanted to expirence life and find out who i was before i decided to settle. so maybe it isnt a maturity thing but rather a "stage of life" thing. plus i admit when i wrote that i wasnt really thinking super clearly as i was having empathetic feelings for paul. but you seem like a nice girl with alot of drama in your life and all i want to do is give a few helpful words. but i dont have to read anything you post anymore if you so say, i had you friended before you were pauls g-friend anyhow. but just say the word. i dont know why your friend had to be such a bitch to me. and i do have a lj for the purposes of a journal. i dont have that many people friended and really dont use it as a networking system like i know most people do. well have a good one. and call after 6 on wed if you want, its your choice. hugs and try and keep positive you have alot of potential.
sam
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