#Fic# Unable to respond //chapter 17//
Title: Unable to respond /chapter 17/
Author: tanakakoki_fan
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG (for now)
Genre: Angst, romance
Disclaimer: I don’t own them!
Warning: still unbetaed. Will be beated soon.
Summary: Kame is closed in his own world… he can feel he can hear, but can’t respond. Will Jin’s love give him the light to live on?
>
CHAPTER 17
Yamapi was running as fast as he could. Oh God, please let it not be too late. If Kazuya was alone it was dangerous. And the proof did not matter. Pi started to think Tomoko was not normal, that she had some illness in her brain and maybe even if she killed Kazuya doctors would prove she couldn't help it because she was sick. Or was it just Yamapi’s imagination? Such sick people can’t become nurses. Can they?
He stopped abruptly and looking around for a taxi.
„Quickly, quickly!” he signed for one to stop but it didn't.
„Damnit.” Yamapi cursed under his breath. He had no time to lose. Maybe Kazuya’s life was depending on him and few seconds could be dangerous in this case.
Finally a taxi stopped and he jumped into it with record speed.
„To the Central hospital, quickly!” he said to the driver impatiently. He hoped everything will be okay and he wont be late.
The driver drove as fast as he was allowed to, he didn't want to cross the speed limit. He recognized the young idol and he could guess where he was going. He was listening to the press conference on radio so he was in picture of the happenings. He was curious but he stayed silent, he didn't want to bother the young idol who looked bothered enough already.
***
The fans in front of TV and in front of the building of press conference were shocked at Jin’s sentence. There was a loud noise going on and some of them screamed. There were fans who supported Akame’s relationship and they just stood there in shock. So it was true what they suspected? But... will it be the end of KAT-TUN or at least Jin’s end?
Jin’s fans who were against Akame were screaming in protest, screaming Jin was just told to say those sentences, Kame’s fans had mixed emotions and the police just didn't know what to do. Yes, police. The sponsors of the conference seemed to find it a good idea to call the police just in case the fans will go crazy.
„Where is he? Where is my Jin? I want to hug hiiim!!!!” some of the fans shouted, others were fighting.
T-TUN was at a loss of what to do. The media now bombed them with questions, if they knew about the relationship of the two, or what is going on between Kame and Jin in real. The cameras still flashed nonstop, everyone seemed to go crazy because of the news. Everyone wanted to know more and more and write down everything, maybe add to the story to make it more exciting.
Ueda stood up.
„Sorry, the press conference is over.” He said, but there came protests from the media.
Koki couldn't bear it anymore, he hit the table with his fist. He should have protected Jin, he should have prevent him from what he was saying, he should have... Oh god, what will happen from now on? He stood up suddenly and ran out of the conference room which they came from, desperate to find Jin. Where did he go? How is he? Koki hoped he wont find the other man dead or unconscious again.
„Koki!” Ueda shouted after him, but the other didn't come back. Ueda looked down, then at the others and he ran out after Koki. Maru and Junno blinked but followed their leader. They have had enough of the bloody press wanting to dig inside their and their bandmates’ life.
All had hopes in their heart they will find Jin. They were overly worried. What happened to him? Where can he be?
***
In half an hour Yamapi reached the hospital and paid hurriedly, almost stumbling in his way out of the car. With a quick „thank you” he rushed into the building and pushed the „up” button on the elevator several times. When it finally opened Yamapi jumped in and pushed the button of Kazuya’s floor. Out of reflex he put his hands into his pockets and his eyes widened immediately. The dichtaphone was nowhere. He panicked, searching it in every pocket but indeed it was nowhere to be found.
„Damnit! Shit!!” he cursed but he had to collect himself since he arrived to the floor. His mind was in a mess. What now? He should have told it to Tomoko that day that he recorded everything. Why didn't he? If he tells then the girl wouldn't dare to make a move so unthoughtful. But now the only proof what he had was gone. Where?? Where did he lose it? He didn't know what will happen if someone will find and listen to it. Calm down Yamashita, calm down. He said to himself. Everything happens with a reason.
He hoped someone will find it, tell it to the police and they come to arrest Tomoko right away without sending it to press first. This was his only hope. Or that, he will find it.
He stepped out of the elevator, trying to calm his breathing. He hoped he wont open the door to a dead Kazuya. He was greatly relieved when he found Kazuya’s whole family there. Like this Tomoko doesn't have a chance. Great, he was not late. The only thing that bothered him now was the lost dictaphone.
Kazuya’s mother looked worried of the boy and had the urge to ask where Akanishi was. Judging from Pi’s expression something must happened.
Outside the room Tomoko walked down the corridor grinning. Nevermind, she still had a surprise for Jin, a not very pleasant one. The last chance of Akanishi Jin that she will give. It was connected to the press conference. She was prepared with a plan B what happens if Jin answers the truth.
„Tsuuukachan~!” she said in the phone.
„Ah Tomo-chan, how was I?” the boy grinned.
„You were perfect!” Tomoko singsonged. „So you know what you have to do, ne? Can it be done before today’s deadline?”
„I already called to my office, they will start to send it to shops, tomorrow morning it will be out. Today is impossible, it is already late. But don't worry, tomorrow is not far either and the guys in the office know what to do, it is 100% sure they give it out.” The guy said, seeing how other journalists go home.
„Okay, tomorrow then.” Tomoko nodded and cut the line. She had an evil smirk on her lips. Tomorrow everyone will know Jin is hers.
**
Back in the conference room, Tsukasa packed his things to go away when he was stopped by a voice. He looked back over his shoulders and saw an old man standing there with two younger one. One was KAT-TUN’s manager, the other he didn’t know and the old man he didn't know either.
„What?” he asked not too politely.
„YOU.... what do you think you have done today? I have a talk with you. In my office. NOW.” The old man said in a threatening voice.
„Hah, why should I old man? I don't need to be lectured I said the truth and anyway, who are you to have a word in this? It has nothing to do with you.” He said bluntly and turned his back again, starting to pack his things again, but froze wide eyed as he was hearing the answer.
„Oh it concerns me pretty much, since I am Johnny Kitagawa.”
***
Jin didn't know how he was able to walk, he didn't know how he was able to not fall. His mind was cloudy, his eyes misty. He really thought he can bear it nomore. He will lose it. Lose the little conscious, the little thin line that kept him alive.
Was he ever strong?
He didn't think so. He hoped for so long but he was so tired...why? why cant Kazuya be next to him? And for how long it will last? He felt alone, broken. The rollercoster of emotions every day, full of hope and the next moment full of pain... just every time there came something which made the things worse, made a wall that he again had to break through. How many more walls can he break?
His legs continued to walk but he didn't know where. His body took control, he couldn't think. Is he walking? Is he alive?
Yes indeed he was and he started to feel someone pulls him by the hand. What a warm feeling. He had to smile. Looking up, he saw Kazuya for a fleeting second with transparent but shining wings on his back. He wasn't even surprised, he knew his mind was giving in and he went completely crazy. All the pain ate him up and common sense lost its existence. He let himself lead and his eyes widened as his legs stopped and looked up onto the building...He was standing in front of Kazuya’s apartment that was now empty, noone was living there.
Jin felt tears roll down his cheeks. „God...” He whispered. Why and how did he get there? He looked around there was noone on street but if there were Jin didn't care if they recognized who he was. He stopped caring long ago.
He knew he cant enter, so he sat onto the stairs in front of the house and closed his eyes. He was thinking about the rooms...how empty they surely were.
{An empty street
An empty house
A hole inside my heart
I'm all alone and the rooms are getting smaller
I wonder how, I wonder why
I wonder where they are
The days we had, the songs we sang together}
He was thinking of their concerts, how Kazuya smiled and held the microphone singing passionately. How he sometimes teased Jin on stage… He remembered the songs that he sang together with Kazuya, just the two of them and those too which they sang with the others. When was their first concert? Many many years ago…He still smiled at the member introduction phase Kazuya sang “my best friend Jin”
Best friend… Kazuya…for how long time ago you are more than my best friend in my heart?
{And oh my love
I'm holding on forever
Reaching for a love that seem so far}
Will it be an “us” ever? It seems so far… but if I give up now I will regret it. I don’t want to have any regrets. I won’t give up. I will be strong for you. Even if now the whole or half of JE and world is against me. I cant give up, can I? Kazuya… its so warm…I can feel you here. I wish I could visit you now. If you will hear what I said at the conference…how will you react?
{So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue
To see you once again, my love
Overseas from coast to coast
To find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green
To see you once again, my love}
I am praying every day for the day of us to come. I can look past over your girlfriend. I have a bad feeling about her… you will love me, right? If you wake up you return to me, not to her right?
~Yes Jin, I will return to you~ he heard Kazuya’s voice from somewhere in his head. He looked around surprised but the streets were still empty.
“I am waiting for you Kazuya.” He said and was able to smile. He felt so tired, so sleepy.
…And hope my dreams will take me there where the skies are blue…to see you once again, my love…
Jin slowly drifted off to sleep powerless on the stairs in front of Kazuya’s apartment and wishing that the time comes when he can call Kazuya’s flat his home.
***
T-TUN were searching Jin everywhere. They decided to search separately. Maru went to Jin’s apartment, rang the bell several times, waited but noone answered the door. Jin seemed not to be at home and Maru could understand it, some fans and paparazzi was around the house but he wore disguise and since it was the end of autumn and beginning of winter, the weather was somewhat cold so he could cover his face with his scarf and hat. Noone knew its him.
Junno went to Johnny’s building and searched through the studios. He knew how Jin loved music and maybe he will find Jin there, but found noone, only some members of HeySayJump and juniors.
Koki immediately, as soon as he ran out of the conference room was heading towards the hospital. Where else could Jin be than next to Kazuya? He was really hoping to find him there.
Ueda was thinking of where to go first, but the best idea was to call Yamapi if Jin was there.
Yamapi was standing next to Mr Kamenashi in the hospital room when his mobile started to vibrate in his pocket. He looked at the caller “Ueda Tatsuya”. Pi got worried. He was so deep into his own problem of Tomoko and the dichtaphone that he wasn’t really thinking about what was with Jin.
“Sorry, I need to answer it.” He said and excited the room.
“Ueda? What’s up?” he asked, he was sure the answer will make him worry even more.
“Pi? Is Jin with you?” the leader of KAT-TUN asked.
“No…he is not…what happened? How is he?” Pi’s hands trembled by worry. If Ueda didn’t know where Jin was, that was a problem.
“We…cant find him. After the conference he just disappeared. I hoped he went to you but I guess he went to Kamenashi, I will check if he is in hospital.” Ueda informed Pi.
“No…he is not. I am in the hosital, but Jin didn’t come here.”
Ueda’s eyes widened. If Jin didn’t go to Kazuya in the state he was in then where did he go?? Thousands of thought ran through Ueda’s head but he tried to block the most depressive ones. Jin was strong, he wouldn’t do something stupid with himself, would he?
“Thanks Pi, don’t worry we will find him. If you find him please call me okay?”
“Yes, of course I will.”
As the conversation ended Pi just looked blankly at his phone. Where can his friend be? “Baka…” he whispered worriedly and went back to the room.
“Is everything okay Yamashita-kun?” Mrs Kamenashi asked.
“Ah yes yes, just a call from Ueda-kun.” Pi nodded, trying to look okay. Chinami and Kazuya’s father didn’t bother to talk to him, tho Chinami sent winks and looks towards him here and there, the brothers were still in their own misery to digest what they were seeing, how their brother was lying there, but Nao had her full attention on Pi and just couldn’t refrain from asking about Jin.
“How is Akanishi-kun?” At this the father looked at her angrily.
“O…oh…he is… okay…I guess…” nah that was not very convincing, Pi knew. But what could he possibly say? He cant complain how they don’t find Jin and all.
Kazuya was deadly worried. What is with his Jin? Yamapi didn’t tell much regarding to Jin’s condition and Kazuya couldn’t check himself. He wished he could. Sometimes he was still feeling Jin’s presence but every time he did he was more and more desperate. Jin’s power seemed to be less and less and after the conference Kazuya could indeed feel Jin’s pain.
He tried to calm down and closed his eyes, concentrating on Jin. He saw happenings as an old movie tape, somewhere blurry, somewhere okay, as if it was a film. He saw Jin lying on stairs and the number of the building flashed for a second.
~My apartment… he is in front of my apartment…oh God.. whats with him? Is he just sleeping? Or is he…? Jin..JIN!!~ Kazuya in the box stood up. He had to say somehow, to sign somehow where Jin was. It was cold and sleeping outside in the beginning of winter was not the best idea.
Kame clenched his hands together, crying for someone to find Jin. Who is so close to him that he can reach in soul and can send a message?
~God… someone please… He is in my apartment… help him, someone please…~
Kazuya’s mother looked down at her son and her eyes widened a little. He looked at Pi, then at Kazuya again. A sudden feeling about Jin’s whereabouts hit her and stood up.
“I have to go to the bathroom.” She said and nearly unnoticeable nodded her head to Yamapi to follow. The young idol noticed it and after the woman went out he pretended that he got a call again and had to exit. Once outside Pi looked questioningly at Mrs Kamenashi.
“Yamashita-kun… I don’t know why I have this feeling, but I think Akanishi-kun is at Kazuya’s apartment…” she said. She didn’t understand it, from where did this idea come from?
“O..oh, thank you madam, I will inform Ueda-kun.” He needed to know if he can go too, he didn’t want to let Kazuya alone with Tomoko so after the parents went away he wanted to be there.
“Yes, please do. I am worried of him…I was a little shocked at what he was saying…but… does he really love my son?” Nao sighed.
Yamapi studied the expression of the woman and nodded slowly. Nao turned more sad.
“I am so sad for him… being drawn in this all…loving my son one-sided… though maybe you will laugh at me but sometimes I wish Kazuya love Akanishi-kun instead of Chinami-chan.”
Yamapi didn’t want to say he thinks Kazuya actually loved Jin back. That Chinami girl was suspicious, after Yamapi found out Tomoko was lying all enough he wouldn’t be surprised if Chinami lied too. But if Chinami did not, at least he knows someone other who is against Jin and Kazuya. That journalist from the press conference. Now he only had to found out his name and which newspaper he worked for. Yamapi had a suspicion that the man was working for a tabloid magazine.
“Until when will you be here with Kamenashi?” Yamapi asked carefully.
“Akanishi-kun wants to come to visit, right? I don’t really know, I think we will go home soon. Though my husband is really angry now and maybe he wants to guard Kazuya as long as he can stay here…” the woman looked down.
“I don’t know how to tell him Akanishi-kun is not a bad guy. He just doesn’t listen to me.” She felt sad.
“I think when Kamenashi wakes up it will be better. Mr Kamenashi will forgive Jin eventually.” Yamapi smiled.
“I hope so.” The woman nodded.
“I call Ueda-kun now.” Yamapi smiled and the woman smiled back.
“Okay, I will return and guard my little boy.” The mother said with emotions in her voice. Yamapi nodded and he so wished to see everyone happy. What was fate thinking? Wasn’t it enough pain and suffering already? Yamapi watched as the mother disappearing behind the door and dialed Ueda’s number.
Ueda was walking down the street and he was about to head towards the sea when he suddenly stopped, feeling his phone vibrating in his pocket. He took it out and relieved a little when he saw Pi’s name as caller. Maybe Jin went to the hospital?
“Moshi moshi” he said and heard Pi say:
“Ueda, go to Kamenashi’s apartment please, check if Jin is there.” Pi didn’t understand how the woman could know, but he trusted her. Checking wont harm anyway.
“Oh…okay. I will.” Ueda nodded. He knew where Kazuya’s apartment was, sometimes he visited him before.
“Ueda…” Yamapi whispered.
“Hm?”
“Call me if he is there.”
With this he hung up, closing his eyes for a few seconds. When will it be over? It had been more than a half year, almost one. He decided he needed air. He needed to think, how things will be from now on that he lost the dichtaphone. He was extremely angry at himself. How could he be so careless to lose it?
“Hey prettyboy~!” he heard a voice and froze. It was Tomoko’s who stood in front of him. “Troubled?” the girl poked Yamapi’s shoulder.
“First of all, don’t touch me. Second of all, don’t think you can win over Jin. Don’t think you can beat him. Truth always wins.”
“Oh Yamashita, everything is truth…everything can be truth if you look it from another perspective. Because you know, in oneself everyone has the answer why he or she does things. And it is their own truth, they are true to their feelings so how can you say I am a liar? I am true.”
“This doesn’t make sense.” Yamapi rolled his eyes annoyed.
“But don’t worry this was just the first step of my plan. My Jinjin will very sorry that he answered honestly.” Tomoko smirked and Yamapi really had to have all willpower to not beat her to death. How can someone be so cruel and stupid? How can someone play with people’s lives? Wont justice ever come?
“What are you planning?” Yamapi hissed. He started not to mind of ending up in jail for murdering…
“Ahahah, you will see it tomorrow~ Everyone will know Jin is mine~” Tomoko chuckled.
“He will never be yours and never was. Jin belongs to Kamenashi.”
“Oh no no no prettyboy, my Jin doesn’t belong to that crazy girly gay guy. What is so pretty on him? Just look at him, disgusting. He should decide if he is a girl or guy.” She made a disgusted face.
“Watch your mouth will ya?” Yamapi clenched his fists and glared at the girl.
“You don’t know Kamenashi. You cant judge him. And I can understand why Jin loves him. Kamenashi is not like you. He is a pure being, always honest to his goals and caring. He has a beautiful soul.Tho I think he is beautiful outside too, but you know what makes a person really beautiful? His good heart and soul. And Kamenashi has both of it. Out of the two of you you are the one who lives in darkness and I pity you.”
Tomoko glared back but then laughed out amused.
“Woahhh, did you watch too many animes? Awww let me shed my tears, it was sooooo touching. You fell for Kamenashi too?” she shook her head laughing.
“I didn’t, but if only the two of you lived in this world and I would have to choose a lover between the two of you I would choose Kamenashi without thinking.” Yamapi declared.
“Oh, is everyone gay in JE? Jinjin will be jealous.”
“You don’t understand…incredible… “ Yamapi sighed. He felt really pity for the girl.
“You better watch your mouth Yamashita, coz you know what I will do.”
“I have something surprise for you too if you dare to do something, just wait.” Yamapi smirked. “I have proofs against you.” He hoped he can scare Tomoko even if just a little. He had to try. He hated Tomoko had so much power over the situation.
“Ahahah, good joke. Noone suspects a thing. And you have nothing. Show me and I will believe. Unless…” she smiled sweetly. A smile of an angel, but devil inside. Yamapi knew he had to go away unless he would kill the girl.
“You will see.” He said and turned his back, walking away. He blocked everything out, he didn’t hear what the girl shouted after him, he went into the elevator. Damn this bitch…just damn her. And damn that dichtaphone too…
He caressed through his hair out of frustration. He has to find it. He has to!
He went out of the hospital but had no idea where he should search for it. Maybe he dropped it in the taxi… it must have been like that because he didn’t find it in the way he came in.
“I thought you will never come out!” he heard a voice of an old man and looked up. It was the same taxi driver who brought him to the hospital.
“Oh…sir?” he asked uncertainly.
“I think this is yours.” The old man extended his hand and showed the dichtaphone. Yamapi gave out a big sigh of relief.
“Thank you very much!” he bowed.
“I am sorry, I listened to it. All I can say, ganbatte, don’t give up.” The man gave Yamapi his name card and the boy took it and eyed the old man.
“If you ever need a taxi or some help, just tell me. My grandchild works as a policeman. Do you want me to show this to him? So they always can be prepared.” The man smiled. He looked nice, but Yamapi couldn’t trust people that easily. Not anymore. This cant be a trap, can it?
“Oh… thank you Takahashi-san” Yamapi read the name on the name card. “I think we should wait with it, but I think later I need your help.” Yamapi bowed again.
“Really, thank you very much.”
**
Ueda didn’t want to lose time although he didn’t want to be noticed either. But it was for Jin’s sake and something told him he didn’t have time to waste, he somehow felt Jin was not in the safest place. He just hoped nothing really serious happened to him. He pulled his coat together and tried to hide his face in his scarf, at least his lips and nose, so noone could recognize him. He stopped a taxi and got in quickly, saying the street he wanted to go.
It didn’t take much time until he arrived, he thanked the driver and payed. He immediately started to run down the street to Kazuya’s apartment and he frowned in shock as he got there and noticed a man lying on the stairs.
“Jin??” His eyes went wide as he noticed the man was actually sleeping. A fear grabbed his heart, nothing happened to Jin, right? Ueda ran to him and kneeled down, taking the man into his arms, Jin’s body was a little cold, his eyes were closed.
“Jin!! JIN!!” Ueda shook the man desperately, but no answer. The oldest member of KAT-TUN was not the one who got panicked easily, but at that fleeting second he didn’t really know what to do. He just knew Jin needed to be in a safe place. He wanted to lift the man, supporting him to stand up, calling his name, but then he had a better idea. He was about to pick his cellphone out of his pocket when he frowned. A tear slipped from Jin’s closed eyes. Ueda felt as if his heart was stabbed with needles.
“God…”
~~~
Jin was floating, he felt as if he was at the sea, but not quite. He couldn’t really explain to himself either what he felt, where he was. When he opened his eyes there was just darkness with blue waves sometimes. Why was he feeling this down? Where was he? And why? He felt he weakens.
[I'm just in the deep sea of blue loneliness
I don't know how to go forward,
I stand still]
He just stood there, without moving, he couldn’t. He was too tired, his mind was numb, it was as dark as his surroundings. He watched but didn’t see, just stood there as a lifeless statue. Soon, pictures appeared for fleeting seconds. Of him, of friends, of Kazuya, of happenings, but he just stared blankly.
[The threads to be mend fall
the fragments of a trap
i grab them and i fall into longing ]
Then all of the pictures started to contain Kazuya, things that happened to them while Kazuya was still allright, but the photos extended into the future… future? Kazuya and him standing happily next to each other, laughing… at places he had never been before. It was just a trap of his mind, he knew it very well, but he longed to fall into it… he longed to be drown in those pictures which he started to see through the darkness.
[Dark in my mind
I hide behind my weakness]
If it was weakness of wanting to stay here forever, being tired of the world, then he wanted this darkness to be his shield for forever. He felt powerless, just a floating puppet.
[There is no exit, being embraced by agony
The world dried out and stands still]
Everything was silent, as if time didn’t exist anymore. He started not to care for it, he was numb from agony, he felt nothing else and it physically hurt. He felt light, but heavier than ever at the same time, felt as if he was being ripped into pieces.
[The dried feeling deep inside my heart, second eye
I cant see the light
Here is no light
The gap between my dream starts to wander, lost
Darkness on my eyes
I cant see yesterday, today nor tomorrow]
The feeling that he wants to escape dried out, he couldn’t see hope anymore, everything seemed to break coloring the dreams into black color, he was in a shock state, he couldn’t remember where was he, what he did or does…and what will happen in the future. Does he have future? There is no light…no …nothing.
[I search for an answer
Where should I head for?]
But his heart and mind deep inside knew that he had something important to protect, to return to…return? Where should he go? Where could he go? He didn’t know. He couldn’t even pay attention to the silky pictures which were so smooth that they seemed just like an illusion.
[If I touch them softly
They break
I don’t need uncertain kindness (just lie)
I close the door to my heart that could feel,
I cant hold hope
I hear a voice, I suffer]
He looked at the pictures after some time, of a beautiful boy smiling, he wanted to touch it, but it became mist and faded away…were these pictures all lies? Was this boy just faking smile? He didn’t remember who the boy was anymore as his mind fell deeper and deeper into darkness. He couldn’t remember who he himself was, all he knew, that his heart got closed. He suffered, but suddenly heard a voice which was so comforting.
~Jin…~
[I just…I returned now to the edge
I see a picture which is sinful, but good… take me there]
The pictures became mosaics and as the voice called his name out again and again, it became a picture where he held the beautiful boy close, kissing him. He knew it was not accepted by many people…but he wanted it… he started to remember.
“Kazuya….take me there….”
[The high darkness of my skin, the ice of darkness, second eye
Here is no light
I close my eyes and smile
darkness of my eyes
The dried feelings disturb me
I cant see the answer
in this deep misery]
“Kazuya… Without you there is no light, without you my skin is like ice…Is that picture real? You will be here with me? You _are_ here with me? Calling my name? I want to see you, but there is darkness on my eyes…darkness of agony. But still…I smile, being able to hear your voice…”
[Raindrops falling from heaven
I couldn't remember
They took away my love so weak
It's raining on my heart
My stupid broken heart
Baby please, don't go
No light, no sound]
I couldn’t remember… but I remember you now..I remember everything…I love you. But…I cant hear your voice anymore…don’t go away, without you there is no light, no sound.
Because without you…
…[there is no exit, being embraced by agony
The world dried out and stands still…
Second eye... (can you see the light?)
Here is no light
Second eye... (darkness of my eyes)]
“Kazuya….you are my second eye… the thing you see, I see too. If you see light, I see it too…You see it? What do you see now?
~Jin…~
“Kazuya…”
~Don’t give up~
Suddenly Jin felt as if he was being lifted and the dark place suddenly filled with light, which started to hurt his eyes. Then a loud crash as he opened his eyes, he saw faces look down at him, he saw they are speaking something but he couldn’t understand it. There were still loud sounds in his head, as if a train went by next to him, blocking every other sound out.
“Jin, are you allright?”
“Brother, please answer!”
It took some time to realize that he was lying in a bed and his parents and brother Reio are looking down at him, seemingly worried. It was… his home. Not his apartment, his home. How did he get here? Why was he here?
He didn’t really care, all he wanted was to chase that last happy picture he saw in his head.
***
TBC
AN: The songs that were used in this chapter...
the lyrics between {} is form Westlife: My love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHyzxVlOI98
the lyrics between [] is from DBSK: Darkness eyes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfTct4ZaGWE
Listen to them while reading this ne ^.~
Sorry that it took me so long to update! >__<
Comments are love as always! I am always afraid I disappoint my readers ^^;;
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Author: tanakakoki_fan
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG (for now)
Genre: Angst, romance
Disclaimer: I don’t own them!
Warning: still unbetaed. Will be beated soon.
Summary: Kame is closed in his own world… he can feel he can hear, but can’t respond. Will Jin’s love give him the light to live on?
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CHAPTER 17
Yamapi was running as fast as he could. Oh God, please let it not be too late. If Kazuya was alone it was dangerous. And the proof did not matter. Pi started to think Tomoko was not normal, that she had some illness in her brain and maybe even if she killed Kazuya doctors would prove she couldn't help it because she was sick. Or was it just Yamapi’s imagination? Such sick people can’t become nurses. Can they?
He stopped abruptly and looking around for a taxi.
„Quickly, quickly!” he signed for one to stop but it didn't.
„Damnit.” Yamapi cursed under his breath. He had no time to lose. Maybe Kazuya’s life was depending on him and few seconds could be dangerous in this case.
Finally a taxi stopped and he jumped into it with record speed.
„To the Central hospital, quickly!” he said to the driver impatiently. He hoped everything will be okay and he wont be late.
The driver drove as fast as he was allowed to, he didn't want to cross the speed limit. He recognized the young idol and he could guess where he was going. He was listening to the press conference on radio so he was in picture of the happenings. He was curious but he stayed silent, he didn't want to bother the young idol who looked bothered enough already.
***
The fans in front of TV and in front of the building of press conference were shocked at Jin’s sentence. There was a loud noise going on and some of them screamed. There were fans who supported Akame’s relationship and they just stood there in shock. So it was true what they suspected? But... will it be the end of KAT-TUN or at least Jin’s end?
Jin’s fans who were against Akame were screaming in protest, screaming Jin was just told to say those sentences, Kame’s fans had mixed emotions and the police just didn't know what to do. Yes, police. The sponsors of the conference seemed to find it a good idea to call the police just in case the fans will go crazy.
„Where is he? Where is my Jin? I want to hug hiiim!!!!” some of the fans shouted, others were fighting.
T-TUN was at a loss of what to do. The media now bombed them with questions, if they knew about the relationship of the two, or what is going on between Kame and Jin in real. The cameras still flashed nonstop, everyone seemed to go crazy because of the news. Everyone wanted to know more and more and write down everything, maybe add to the story to make it more exciting.
Ueda stood up.
„Sorry, the press conference is over.” He said, but there came protests from the media.
Koki couldn't bear it anymore, he hit the table with his fist. He should have protected Jin, he should have prevent him from what he was saying, he should have... Oh god, what will happen from now on? He stood up suddenly and ran out of the conference room which they came from, desperate to find Jin. Where did he go? How is he? Koki hoped he wont find the other man dead or unconscious again.
„Koki!” Ueda shouted after him, but the other didn't come back. Ueda looked down, then at the others and he ran out after Koki. Maru and Junno blinked but followed their leader. They have had enough of the bloody press wanting to dig inside their and their bandmates’ life.
All had hopes in their heart they will find Jin. They were overly worried. What happened to him? Where can he be?
***
In half an hour Yamapi reached the hospital and paid hurriedly, almost stumbling in his way out of the car. With a quick „thank you” he rushed into the building and pushed the „up” button on the elevator several times. When it finally opened Yamapi jumped in and pushed the button of Kazuya’s floor. Out of reflex he put his hands into his pockets and his eyes widened immediately. The dichtaphone was nowhere. He panicked, searching it in every pocket but indeed it was nowhere to be found.
„Damnit! Shit!!” he cursed but he had to collect himself since he arrived to the floor. His mind was in a mess. What now? He should have told it to Tomoko that day that he recorded everything. Why didn't he? If he tells then the girl wouldn't dare to make a move so unthoughtful. But now the only proof what he had was gone. Where?? Where did he lose it? He didn't know what will happen if someone will find and listen to it. Calm down Yamashita, calm down. He said to himself. Everything happens with a reason.
He hoped someone will find it, tell it to the police and they come to arrest Tomoko right away without sending it to press first. This was his only hope. Or that, he will find it.
He stepped out of the elevator, trying to calm his breathing. He hoped he wont open the door to a dead Kazuya. He was greatly relieved when he found Kazuya’s whole family there. Like this Tomoko doesn't have a chance. Great, he was not late. The only thing that bothered him now was the lost dictaphone.
Kazuya’s mother looked worried of the boy and had the urge to ask where Akanishi was. Judging from Pi’s expression something must happened.
Outside the room Tomoko walked down the corridor grinning. Nevermind, she still had a surprise for Jin, a not very pleasant one. The last chance of Akanishi Jin that she will give. It was connected to the press conference. She was prepared with a plan B what happens if Jin answers the truth.
„Tsuuukachan~!” she said in the phone.
„Ah Tomo-chan, how was I?” the boy grinned.
„You were perfect!” Tomoko singsonged. „So you know what you have to do, ne? Can it be done before today’s deadline?”
„I already called to my office, they will start to send it to shops, tomorrow morning it will be out. Today is impossible, it is already late. But don't worry, tomorrow is not far either and the guys in the office know what to do, it is 100% sure they give it out.” The guy said, seeing how other journalists go home.
„Okay, tomorrow then.” Tomoko nodded and cut the line. She had an evil smirk on her lips. Tomorrow everyone will know Jin is hers.
**
Back in the conference room, Tsukasa packed his things to go away when he was stopped by a voice. He looked back over his shoulders and saw an old man standing there with two younger one. One was KAT-TUN’s manager, the other he didn’t know and the old man he didn't know either.
„What?” he asked not too politely.
„YOU.... what do you think you have done today? I have a talk with you. In my office. NOW.” The old man said in a threatening voice.
„Hah, why should I old man? I don't need to be lectured I said the truth and anyway, who are you to have a word in this? It has nothing to do with you.” He said bluntly and turned his back again, starting to pack his things again, but froze wide eyed as he was hearing the answer.
„Oh it concerns me pretty much, since I am Johnny Kitagawa.”
***
Jin didn't know how he was able to walk, he didn't know how he was able to not fall. His mind was cloudy, his eyes misty. He really thought he can bear it nomore. He will lose it. Lose the little conscious, the little thin line that kept him alive.
Was he ever strong?
He didn't think so. He hoped for so long but he was so tired...why? why cant Kazuya be next to him? And for how long it will last? He felt alone, broken. The rollercoster of emotions every day, full of hope and the next moment full of pain... just every time there came something which made the things worse, made a wall that he again had to break through. How many more walls can he break?
His legs continued to walk but he didn't know where. His body took control, he couldn't think. Is he walking? Is he alive?
Yes indeed he was and he started to feel someone pulls him by the hand. What a warm feeling. He had to smile. Looking up, he saw Kazuya for a fleeting second with transparent but shining wings on his back. He wasn't even surprised, he knew his mind was giving in and he went completely crazy. All the pain ate him up and common sense lost its existence. He let himself lead and his eyes widened as his legs stopped and looked up onto the building...He was standing in front of Kazuya’s apartment that was now empty, noone was living there.
Jin felt tears roll down his cheeks. „God...” He whispered. Why and how did he get there? He looked around there was noone on street but if there were Jin didn't care if they recognized who he was. He stopped caring long ago.
He knew he cant enter, so he sat onto the stairs in front of the house and closed his eyes. He was thinking about the rooms...how empty they surely were.
{An empty street
An empty house
A hole inside my heart
I'm all alone and the rooms are getting smaller
I wonder how, I wonder why
I wonder where they are
The days we had, the songs we sang together}
He was thinking of their concerts, how Kazuya smiled and held the microphone singing passionately. How he sometimes teased Jin on stage… He remembered the songs that he sang together with Kazuya, just the two of them and those too which they sang with the others. When was their first concert? Many many years ago…He still smiled at the member introduction phase Kazuya sang “my best friend Jin”
Best friend… Kazuya…for how long time ago you are more than my best friend in my heart?
{And oh my love
I'm holding on forever
Reaching for a love that seem so far}
Will it be an “us” ever? It seems so far… but if I give up now I will regret it. I don’t want to have any regrets. I won’t give up. I will be strong for you. Even if now the whole or half of JE and world is against me. I cant give up, can I? Kazuya… its so warm…I can feel you here. I wish I could visit you now. If you will hear what I said at the conference…how will you react?
{So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue
To see you once again, my love
Overseas from coast to coast
To find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green
To see you once again, my love}
I am praying every day for the day of us to come. I can look past over your girlfriend. I have a bad feeling about her… you will love me, right? If you wake up you return to me, not to her right?
~Yes Jin, I will return to you~ he heard Kazuya’s voice from somewhere in his head. He looked around surprised but the streets were still empty.
“I am waiting for you Kazuya.” He said and was able to smile. He felt so tired, so sleepy.
…And hope my dreams will take me there where the skies are blue…to see you once again, my love…
Jin slowly drifted off to sleep powerless on the stairs in front of Kazuya’s apartment and wishing that the time comes when he can call Kazuya’s flat his home.
***
T-TUN were searching Jin everywhere. They decided to search separately. Maru went to Jin’s apartment, rang the bell several times, waited but noone answered the door. Jin seemed not to be at home and Maru could understand it, some fans and paparazzi was around the house but he wore disguise and since it was the end of autumn and beginning of winter, the weather was somewhat cold so he could cover his face with his scarf and hat. Noone knew its him.
Junno went to Johnny’s building and searched through the studios. He knew how Jin loved music and maybe he will find Jin there, but found noone, only some members of HeySayJump and juniors.
Koki immediately, as soon as he ran out of the conference room was heading towards the hospital. Where else could Jin be than next to Kazuya? He was really hoping to find him there.
Ueda was thinking of where to go first, but the best idea was to call Yamapi if Jin was there.
Yamapi was standing next to Mr Kamenashi in the hospital room when his mobile started to vibrate in his pocket. He looked at the caller “Ueda Tatsuya”. Pi got worried. He was so deep into his own problem of Tomoko and the dichtaphone that he wasn’t really thinking about what was with Jin.
“Sorry, I need to answer it.” He said and excited the room.
“Ueda? What’s up?” he asked, he was sure the answer will make him worry even more.
“Pi? Is Jin with you?” the leader of KAT-TUN asked.
“No…he is not…what happened? How is he?” Pi’s hands trembled by worry. If Ueda didn’t know where Jin was, that was a problem.
“We…cant find him. After the conference he just disappeared. I hoped he went to you but I guess he went to Kamenashi, I will check if he is in hospital.” Ueda informed Pi.
“No…he is not. I am in the hosital, but Jin didn’t come here.”
Ueda’s eyes widened. If Jin didn’t go to Kazuya in the state he was in then where did he go?? Thousands of thought ran through Ueda’s head but he tried to block the most depressive ones. Jin was strong, he wouldn’t do something stupid with himself, would he?
“Thanks Pi, don’t worry we will find him. If you find him please call me okay?”
“Yes, of course I will.”
As the conversation ended Pi just looked blankly at his phone. Where can his friend be? “Baka…” he whispered worriedly and went back to the room.
“Is everything okay Yamashita-kun?” Mrs Kamenashi asked.
“Ah yes yes, just a call from Ueda-kun.” Pi nodded, trying to look okay. Chinami and Kazuya’s father didn’t bother to talk to him, tho Chinami sent winks and looks towards him here and there, the brothers were still in their own misery to digest what they were seeing, how their brother was lying there, but Nao had her full attention on Pi and just couldn’t refrain from asking about Jin.
“How is Akanishi-kun?” At this the father looked at her angrily.
“O…oh…he is… okay…I guess…” nah that was not very convincing, Pi knew. But what could he possibly say? He cant complain how they don’t find Jin and all.
Kazuya was deadly worried. What is with his Jin? Yamapi didn’t tell much regarding to Jin’s condition and Kazuya couldn’t check himself. He wished he could. Sometimes he was still feeling Jin’s presence but every time he did he was more and more desperate. Jin’s power seemed to be less and less and after the conference Kazuya could indeed feel Jin’s pain.
He tried to calm down and closed his eyes, concentrating on Jin. He saw happenings as an old movie tape, somewhere blurry, somewhere okay, as if it was a film. He saw Jin lying on stairs and the number of the building flashed for a second.
~My apartment… he is in front of my apartment…oh God.. whats with him? Is he just sleeping? Or is he…? Jin..JIN!!~ Kazuya in the box stood up. He had to say somehow, to sign somehow where Jin was. It was cold and sleeping outside in the beginning of winter was not the best idea.
Kame clenched his hands together, crying for someone to find Jin. Who is so close to him that he can reach in soul and can send a message?
~God… someone please… He is in my apartment… help him, someone please…~
Kazuya’s mother looked down at her son and her eyes widened a little. He looked at Pi, then at Kazuya again. A sudden feeling about Jin’s whereabouts hit her and stood up.
“I have to go to the bathroom.” She said and nearly unnoticeable nodded her head to Yamapi to follow. The young idol noticed it and after the woman went out he pretended that he got a call again and had to exit. Once outside Pi looked questioningly at Mrs Kamenashi.
“Yamashita-kun… I don’t know why I have this feeling, but I think Akanishi-kun is at Kazuya’s apartment…” she said. She didn’t understand it, from where did this idea come from?
“O..oh, thank you madam, I will inform Ueda-kun.” He needed to know if he can go too, he didn’t want to let Kazuya alone with Tomoko so after the parents went away he wanted to be there.
“Yes, please do. I am worried of him…I was a little shocked at what he was saying…but… does he really love my son?” Nao sighed.
Yamapi studied the expression of the woman and nodded slowly. Nao turned more sad.
“I am so sad for him… being drawn in this all…loving my son one-sided… though maybe you will laugh at me but sometimes I wish Kazuya love Akanishi-kun instead of Chinami-chan.”
Yamapi didn’t want to say he thinks Kazuya actually loved Jin back. That Chinami girl was suspicious, after Yamapi found out Tomoko was lying all enough he wouldn’t be surprised if Chinami lied too. But if Chinami did not, at least he knows someone other who is against Jin and Kazuya. That journalist from the press conference. Now he only had to found out his name and which newspaper he worked for. Yamapi had a suspicion that the man was working for a tabloid magazine.
“Until when will you be here with Kamenashi?” Yamapi asked carefully.
“Akanishi-kun wants to come to visit, right? I don’t really know, I think we will go home soon. Though my husband is really angry now and maybe he wants to guard Kazuya as long as he can stay here…” the woman looked down.
“I don’t know how to tell him Akanishi-kun is not a bad guy. He just doesn’t listen to me.” She felt sad.
“I think when Kamenashi wakes up it will be better. Mr Kamenashi will forgive Jin eventually.” Yamapi smiled.
“I hope so.” The woman nodded.
“I call Ueda-kun now.” Yamapi smiled and the woman smiled back.
“Okay, I will return and guard my little boy.” The mother said with emotions in her voice. Yamapi nodded and he so wished to see everyone happy. What was fate thinking? Wasn’t it enough pain and suffering already? Yamapi watched as the mother disappearing behind the door and dialed Ueda’s number.
Ueda was walking down the street and he was about to head towards the sea when he suddenly stopped, feeling his phone vibrating in his pocket. He took it out and relieved a little when he saw Pi’s name as caller. Maybe Jin went to the hospital?
“Moshi moshi” he said and heard Pi say:
“Ueda, go to Kamenashi’s apartment please, check if Jin is there.” Pi didn’t understand how the woman could know, but he trusted her. Checking wont harm anyway.
“Oh…okay. I will.” Ueda nodded. He knew where Kazuya’s apartment was, sometimes he visited him before.
“Ueda…” Yamapi whispered.
“Hm?”
“Call me if he is there.”
With this he hung up, closing his eyes for a few seconds. When will it be over? It had been more than a half year, almost one. He decided he needed air. He needed to think, how things will be from now on that he lost the dichtaphone. He was extremely angry at himself. How could he be so careless to lose it?
“Hey prettyboy~!” he heard a voice and froze. It was Tomoko’s who stood in front of him. “Troubled?” the girl poked Yamapi’s shoulder.
“First of all, don’t touch me. Second of all, don’t think you can win over Jin. Don’t think you can beat him. Truth always wins.”
“Oh Yamashita, everything is truth…everything can be truth if you look it from another perspective. Because you know, in oneself everyone has the answer why he or she does things. And it is their own truth, they are true to their feelings so how can you say I am a liar? I am true.”
“This doesn’t make sense.” Yamapi rolled his eyes annoyed.
“But don’t worry this was just the first step of my plan. My Jinjin will very sorry that he answered honestly.” Tomoko smirked and Yamapi really had to have all willpower to not beat her to death. How can someone be so cruel and stupid? How can someone play with people’s lives? Wont justice ever come?
“What are you planning?” Yamapi hissed. He started not to mind of ending up in jail for murdering…
“Ahahah, you will see it tomorrow~ Everyone will know Jin is mine~” Tomoko chuckled.
“He will never be yours and never was. Jin belongs to Kamenashi.”
“Oh no no no prettyboy, my Jin doesn’t belong to that crazy girly gay guy. What is so pretty on him? Just look at him, disgusting. He should decide if he is a girl or guy.” She made a disgusted face.
“Watch your mouth will ya?” Yamapi clenched his fists and glared at the girl.
“You don’t know Kamenashi. You cant judge him. And I can understand why Jin loves him. Kamenashi is not like you. He is a pure being, always honest to his goals and caring. He has a beautiful soul.Tho I think he is beautiful outside too, but you know what makes a person really beautiful? His good heart and soul. And Kamenashi has both of it. Out of the two of you you are the one who lives in darkness and I pity you.”
Tomoko glared back but then laughed out amused.
“Woahhh, did you watch too many animes? Awww let me shed my tears, it was sooooo touching. You fell for Kamenashi too?” she shook her head laughing.
“I didn’t, but if only the two of you lived in this world and I would have to choose a lover between the two of you I would choose Kamenashi without thinking.” Yamapi declared.
“Oh, is everyone gay in JE? Jinjin will be jealous.”
“You don’t understand…incredible… “ Yamapi sighed. He felt really pity for the girl.
“You better watch your mouth Yamashita, coz you know what I will do.”
“I have something surprise for you too if you dare to do something, just wait.” Yamapi smirked. “I have proofs against you.” He hoped he can scare Tomoko even if just a little. He had to try. He hated Tomoko had so much power over the situation.
“Ahahah, good joke. Noone suspects a thing. And you have nothing. Show me and I will believe. Unless…” she smiled sweetly. A smile of an angel, but devil inside. Yamapi knew he had to go away unless he would kill the girl.
“You will see.” He said and turned his back, walking away. He blocked everything out, he didn’t hear what the girl shouted after him, he went into the elevator. Damn this bitch…just damn her. And damn that dichtaphone too…
He caressed through his hair out of frustration. He has to find it. He has to!
He went out of the hospital but had no idea where he should search for it. Maybe he dropped it in the taxi… it must have been like that because he didn’t find it in the way he came in.
“I thought you will never come out!” he heard a voice of an old man and looked up. It was the same taxi driver who brought him to the hospital.
“Oh…sir?” he asked uncertainly.
“I think this is yours.” The old man extended his hand and showed the dichtaphone. Yamapi gave out a big sigh of relief.
“Thank you very much!” he bowed.
“I am sorry, I listened to it. All I can say, ganbatte, don’t give up.” The man gave Yamapi his name card and the boy took it and eyed the old man.
“If you ever need a taxi or some help, just tell me. My grandchild works as a policeman. Do you want me to show this to him? So they always can be prepared.” The man smiled. He looked nice, but Yamapi couldn’t trust people that easily. Not anymore. This cant be a trap, can it?
“Oh… thank you Takahashi-san” Yamapi read the name on the name card. “I think we should wait with it, but I think later I need your help.” Yamapi bowed again.
“Really, thank you very much.”
**
Ueda didn’t want to lose time although he didn’t want to be noticed either. But it was for Jin’s sake and something told him he didn’t have time to waste, he somehow felt Jin was not in the safest place. He just hoped nothing really serious happened to him. He pulled his coat together and tried to hide his face in his scarf, at least his lips and nose, so noone could recognize him. He stopped a taxi and got in quickly, saying the street he wanted to go.
It didn’t take much time until he arrived, he thanked the driver and payed. He immediately started to run down the street to Kazuya’s apartment and he frowned in shock as he got there and noticed a man lying on the stairs.
“Jin??” His eyes went wide as he noticed the man was actually sleeping. A fear grabbed his heart, nothing happened to Jin, right? Ueda ran to him and kneeled down, taking the man into his arms, Jin’s body was a little cold, his eyes were closed.
“Jin!! JIN!!” Ueda shook the man desperately, but no answer. The oldest member of KAT-TUN was not the one who got panicked easily, but at that fleeting second he didn’t really know what to do. He just knew Jin needed to be in a safe place. He wanted to lift the man, supporting him to stand up, calling his name, but then he had a better idea. He was about to pick his cellphone out of his pocket when he frowned. A tear slipped from Jin’s closed eyes. Ueda felt as if his heart was stabbed with needles.
“God…”
~~~
Jin was floating, he felt as if he was at the sea, but not quite. He couldn’t really explain to himself either what he felt, where he was. When he opened his eyes there was just darkness with blue waves sometimes. Why was he feeling this down? Where was he? And why? He felt he weakens.
[I'm just in the deep sea of blue loneliness
I don't know how to go forward,
I stand still]
He just stood there, without moving, he couldn’t. He was too tired, his mind was numb, it was as dark as his surroundings. He watched but didn’t see, just stood there as a lifeless statue. Soon, pictures appeared for fleeting seconds. Of him, of friends, of Kazuya, of happenings, but he just stared blankly.
[The threads to be mend fall
the fragments of a trap
i grab them and i fall into longing ]
Then all of the pictures started to contain Kazuya, things that happened to them while Kazuya was still allright, but the photos extended into the future… future? Kazuya and him standing happily next to each other, laughing… at places he had never been before. It was just a trap of his mind, he knew it very well, but he longed to fall into it… he longed to be drown in those pictures which he started to see through the darkness.
[Dark in my mind
I hide behind my weakness]
If it was weakness of wanting to stay here forever, being tired of the world, then he wanted this darkness to be his shield for forever. He felt powerless, just a floating puppet.
[There is no exit, being embraced by agony
The world dried out and stands still]
Everything was silent, as if time didn’t exist anymore. He started not to care for it, he was numb from agony, he felt nothing else and it physically hurt. He felt light, but heavier than ever at the same time, felt as if he was being ripped into pieces.
[The dried feeling deep inside my heart, second eye
I cant see the light
Here is no light
The gap between my dream starts to wander, lost
Darkness on my eyes
I cant see yesterday, today nor tomorrow]
The feeling that he wants to escape dried out, he couldn’t see hope anymore, everything seemed to break coloring the dreams into black color, he was in a shock state, he couldn’t remember where was he, what he did or does…and what will happen in the future. Does he have future? There is no light…no …nothing.
[I search for an answer
Where should I head for?]
But his heart and mind deep inside knew that he had something important to protect, to return to…return? Where should he go? Where could he go? He didn’t know. He couldn’t even pay attention to the silky pictures which were so smooth that they seemed just like an illusion.
[If I touch them softly
They break
I don’t need uncertain kindness (just lie)
I close the door to my heart that could feel,
I cant hold hope
I hear a voice, I suffer]
He looked at the pictures after some time, of a beautiful boy smiling, he wanted to touch it, but it became mist and faded away…were these pictures all lies? Was this boy just faking smile? He didn’t remember who the boy was anymore as his mind fell deeper and deeper into darkness. He couldn’t remember who he himself was, all he knew, that his heart got closed. He suffered, but suddenly heard a voice which was so comforting.
~Jin…~
[I just…I returned now to the edge
I see a picture which is sinful, but good… take me there]
The pictures became mosaics and as the voice called his name out again and again, it became a picture where he held the beautiful boy close, kissing him. He knew it was not accepted by many people…but he wanted it… he started to remember.
“Kazuya….take me there….”
[The high darkness of my skin, the ice of darkness, second eye
Here is no light
I close my eyes and smile
darkness of my eyes
The dried feelings disturb me
I cant see the answer
in this deep misery]
“Kazuya… Without you there is no light, without you my skin is like ice…Is that picture real? You will be here with me? You _are_ here with me? Calling my name? I want to see you, but there is darkness on my eyes…darkness of agony. But still…I smile, being able to hear your voice…”
[Raindrops falling from heaven
I couldn't remember
They took away my love so weak
It's raining on my heart
My stupid broken heart
Baby please, don't go
No light, no sound]
I couldn’t remember… but I remember you now..I remember everything…I love you. But…I cant hear your voice anymore…don’t go away, without you there is no light, no sound.
Because without you…
…[there is no exit, being embraced by agony
The world dried out and stands still…
Second eye... (can you see the light?)
Here is no light
Second eye... (darkness of my eyes)]
“Kazuya….you are my second eye… the thing you see, I see too. If you see light, I see it too…You see it? What do you see now?
~Jin…~
“Kazuya…”
~Don’t give up~
Suddenly Jin felt as if he was being lifted and the dark place suddenly filled with light, which started to hurt his eyes. Then a loud crash as he opened his eyes, he saw faces look down at him, he saw they are speaking something but he couldn’t understand it. There were still loud sounds in his head, as if a train went by next to him, blocking every other sound out.
“Jin, are you allright?”
“Brother, please answer!”
It took some time to realize that he was lying in a bed and his parents and brother Reio are looking down at him, seemingly worried. It was… his home. Not his apartment, his home. How did he get here? Why was he here?
He didn’t really care, all he wanted was to chase that last happy picture he saw in his head.
***
TBC
AN: The songs that were used in this chapter...
the lyrics between {} is form Westlife: My love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHyzxVlOI98
the lyrics between [] is from DBSK: Darkness eyes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfTct4ZaGWE
Listen to them while reading this ne ^.~
Sorry that it took me so long to update! >__<
Comments are love as always! I am always afraid I disappoint my readers ^^;;
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