fadding
nothing seems to be same anymore, i wake i sleep whenever i get a chance and nothings changing, my life has gotten worse and i feel like theres nothing i can do about it. i feel like a have no control about some things, and just days seem gloomy. i went to the beach the other day just to walk around got some coffe and smoked some ciggs. its funny how when i walk around the beach or just anywhere where theres good looking people i always want to be that way i want to have money dress in the best outfits and just have some fine stuff a bit of everything, and then sometimes i realize also having everything means nothing at all anymore. i passed by this special place that now it is special to me in, and i remembered it like it was yesturday. warm tears falling from my cheecks and cold chivers runnig down my spine, just the thought of pasing by there and knowing that him and i arent together anymore because of me, makes me what i have become. if anyone really fucking new me they would know im not being myself.im stuck in a hole and i am SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!! i need out so bad, i dont know what to do, its all around me, the bad. i think im just going to try one more time, i know that i can do it. people around me even see that iam not for this stuff at all, i can do so much better, iam so much more smarter than that, WTF is wrong with me man?