too far gone
I feel sick & scared.
No matter how hard I push myself I just think I'm a failure.
I never feel like I'm making ANY progress & it's driving me crazy.
This is all just so confusing & scary.
I don't even remember what it feels like to have thoughts that are positive about food.. or much of anything.
I can't remember not being scared of food.
or when I didn't feel sick from fasting & exercising or b/ping and exercising.
This is the only thing I know now.
The only thing I've known for years.
I've forgot the feeling of REALLY living.
I want to feel good about myself and my body.
THIS IS HELL.
But I can't stop.
I have to keep going.
I have to stay strong.
Even when I feel like it's all falling apart.
No matter how hard I push myself I just think I'm a failure.
I never feel like I'm making ANY progress & it's driving me crazy.
This is all just so confusing & scary.
I don't even remember what it feels like to have thoughts that are positive about food.. or much of anything.
I can't remember not being scared of food.
or when I didn't feel sick from fasting & exercising or b/ping and exercising.
This is the only thing I know now.
The only thing I've known for years.
I've forgot the feeling of REALLY living.
I want to feel good about myself and my body.
THIS IS HELL.
But I can't stop.
I have to keep going.
I have to stay strong.
Even when I feel like it's all falling apart.