Monday Jitters
I do not want Monday this week. I love doing theatre, but I know what's coming. It's entering crunch time, and starting tomorrow, everyone is going to be a lot less fun to be around. I mean, I'll still like everyone and everything, but I know from past experiance... the next two weeks are key Bitch-ola times, and a lot of people are going to get very catty. Not that I blame the majority of them... I mean, some catty-ness (I think I just made up a word) should be expected... People have lost solos, others have gotten a whole lot more stage time than some, and still others aren't getting enough direction on new parts that were just recently added (The OLD MAN is getting enough direction, he is NOT who I mean.). People are going to get frustrated, and tempers are going to be short, so I'm going to work extra hard to keep myself in line and keep my temper under control, because the last thing I need to do is be the one who causes problems.
I guess I'm in an odd mood overall. I have a major script reading coming up in a week, and I had an audition today for Moon Over Buffalo, one which I don't think I did very well at, but we'll have to see. I guess the mood isn't that odd after all... I'm just lacking confidence.
That's one of the things that I love and loathe about theatre. Everyone has confidence issues, everyone has ego issues and everyone has esteem issues. It makes it hard to be friends with someone if their ego is always in the way and might get bruised by your ego. In the past, it's been really hard to have a "real" friend who was also in theatre. When there isn't enough spotlight to go around in a relationship, be it friendship or other, then it's difficult to communicate without competition of some sort. It's always a question of "one-up-man-ship" and I'm just not terribly good at that game, unless we're talking life time tragedy, and even then, I'm usually out after the fourth round. (my parents are still married and I've never seen anyone get killed.)
I think that's really why I wanted to auditon for the BCC show in the first place. I wanted to make some friends up here, since I didn't know very many people and it seemed like a proactive/productive thing to do. I like just about everyone in the cast, and I'm startin to get an inkling of a friendship here or there, but I don't want to push things because a) two weeks out is a stressful time for EVERYONE and b) people make friends in their own way, and I don't know anyone well enough to know how to read the friendship signals as opposed to the polite co-worker signals.
I wouldn't count on making any friends at the show downtown if I get cast. Even at the audition people were bizzarely catty. Almost as though the entire room was filled with obnoxious OLD MAN people...but less professional. A group of three women in the corner were judging people as they filled out their apps by the clothes they were wearing, and this one guy kept wandering around the room trying to see what everyone else's resumes looked like or what monolouges they were doing. One lady actually turned her nose up at me because I didn't have headshots. What the hell is up with that? It's not like I have an extra 500 to blow on getting headshots right now. The director didn't care really, and I think he seemed to like me well enough, and liked my resume, so those are pretty positive things, but I probably am not of the right age, size or whatever for what he's wanting to cast. The cast pictures for the current show seemed to be of late 20s- mid 30s crowd. Still the experiance of meeting a local director and getting another audition under my belt should come in handy in the future.
I hope this show doesn't take the route that most of the shows at KSU took at this point in time. It would be a pleasent surprise if it didn't. I'd be happy. Glad. Hell, I'd be damn near estatic. Please... make me estatic.
I guess I'm in an odd mood overall. I have a major script reading coming up in a week, and I had an audition today for Moon Over Buffalo, one which I don't think I did very well at, but we'll have to see. I guess the mood isn't that odd after all... I'm just lacking confidence.
That's one of the things that I love and loathe about theatre. Everyone has confidence issues, everyone has ego issues and everyone has esteem issues. It makes it hard to be friends with someone if their ego is always in the way and might get bruised by your ego. In the past, it's been really hard to have a "real" friend who was also in theatre. When there isn't enough spotlight to go around in a relationship, be it friendship or other, then it's difficult to communicate without competition of some sort. It's always a question of "one-up-man-ship" and I'm just not terribly good at that game, unless we're talking life time tragedy, and even then, I'm usually out after the fourth round. (my parents are still married and I've never seen anyone get killed.)
I think that's really why I wanted to auditon for the BCC show in the first place. I wanted to make some friends up here, since I didn't know very many people and it seemed like a proactive/productive thing to do. I like just about everyone in the cast, and I'm startin to get an inkling of a friendship here or there, but I don't want to push things because a) two weeks out is a stressful time for EVERYONE and b) people make friends in their own way, and I don't know anyone well enough to know how to read the friendship signals as opposed to the polite co-worker signals.
I wouldn't count on making any friends at the show downtown if I get cast. Even at the audition people were bizzarely catty. Almost as though the entire room was filled with obnoxious OLD MAN people...but less professional. A group of three women in the corner were judging people as they filled out their apps by the clothes they were wearing, and this one guy kept wandering around the room trying to see what everyone else's resumes looked like or what monolouges they were doing. One lady actually turned her nose up at me because I didn't have headshots. What the hell is up with that? It's not like I have an extra 500 to blow on getting headshots right now. The director didn't care really, and I think he seemed to like me well enough, and liked my resume, so those are pretty positive things, but I probably am not of the right age, size or whatever for what he's wanting to cast. The cast pictures for the current show seemed to be of late 20s- mid 30s crowd. Still the experiance of meeting a local director and getting another audition under my belt should come in handy in the future.
I hope this show doesn't take the route that most of the shows at KSU took at this point in time. It would be a pleasent surprise if it didn't. I'd be happy. Glad. Hell, I'd be damn near estatic. Please... make me estatic.