Ficlet: In Between the Lightning Flashes (Remus/Peter), PG
Title: In Between the Lightning Flashes
Author: innerslytherin
Characters: Remus Lupin/Peter Pettigrew
Summary: When the Marauders have Order missions, Peter keeps vigil. One night, Remus joins him.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Angst
Notes: Thanks to my super-fast beta-reader, who knows who she is.
"Sirius will be fine, you know."
Lightning flashed outside the window, erasing Peter's reflection from the glass. When he didn't speak, Remus moved up behind him and put a hand on his arm. Peter leaned into it gratefully, watching his best friend's face in the window reflection.
They all knew Peter worried about them. He stood silent vigil as they went on increasingly dangerous errands for the Order. They thought it was because he was too afraid to do much besides paperwork and planning. He'd once overheard James commenting that Peter must feel guilty. It had given him a bad few moments, thinking James knew what he had done, until Sirius chimed in that Peter was just hiding behind them as usual. Peter had felt a flash of resentment mingled with relief. They were underestimating him, as usual.
Remus' hand tightened on Peter's arm, just a little. "You know how clever he is," he said.
Peter sighed and tilted his head back a little to rest it on Remus' shoulder. "I know," he murmured at last. "I thought you were going to James and Lily's."
"Not when I knew you'd be here, worrying." There was a tentative warmth to Remus' voice--one that Peter only heard when they were alone.
"You'd rather be with me?" He felt stupid as soon as he said it, but he'd been trying for weeks to work out what that warmth might mean, and how it could be reserved for him, of all people.
Lightning flashed again, and the resulting thunder shook the house, making them both jump. Tree branches were whipping around, and nothing else was visible beyond them. Peter wasn't sure why he always kept vigil like this. Sirius always just came home, tossed Peter a "Go to bed, Wormy," and disappeared into his room. Remus was the one who sat down, shared a cup of cocoa with him, and assured him everything had gone well.
"I worry about you, Pete," Remus murmured. "Anyway, you always have time for me."
And they don't. Peter and Remus had both learned that. James was busy with a pregnant wife and nursery-related DIY. Sirius was busy with the Order and his motorbike and whatever willing witch he could find.
Peter didn't answer immediately, just leaning against Remus comfortably, relishing the heat that built between them. Remus hadn't been very busy lately. He was between jobs again, which Peter knew frustrated him to no end. It left him time to do more Order missions, but of course that was exactly what sent Peter fretting to stand by the windows of the cottage the three of them shared.
"I know what the others think of me," Peter said in a low voice. He stared at the two of them in the window. Remus was taller, his head tilted down a little towards Peter's. The reflection wasn't clear enough for Peter to read emotion on Remus' face, but he could hear it in his voice--guilt, affection, regret.
"Peter, they just don't--"
"It's all right. I am afraid. I'm afraid of how things are changing. I'm afraid we'll lose. I'm afraid of pain."
"Everyone's afraid of all that, Pete." Remus' voice was gentle. To Peter's surprise, Remus' other arm looped snugly around his waist. A moment later warm breath hit Peter's ear. "But I believe in you. I know you're clever and strong. You'll be all right."
Peter's eyes fluttered closed. "Not without you," he said, then bit his lip. That was a stupid thing to say, no matter how true. But Remus' arm tightened around him.
"You understand, don't you, Pete?" He nuzzled Peter's hair. "It's just us now. James has a family, and Sirius--well, he has James' family."
"But...but we have each other?" Peter hazarded. He liked the way it sounded. Could Remus possibly need him as much as he needed Remus?
"Exactly," Remus said.
Lightning flashed again outside, the wind driving the rain harder against the glass. Peter covered Remus' arm with his own, forcing himself not to wince at the lingering soreness along the inside of his forearm. Suddenly there were new possibilities before him, and a sharp pang of regret shot through him. How could he have given up so easily on his friends? How could he have thought Remus would leave him behind, even if the others did? Why had he taken that final, irreversible step?
"I wish I'd known sooner," he whispered, turning his head a little. The skin of Remus' neck was warm against his forehead. I'll worry more about you. I hope I can protect you. I hope you can forgive me.
"You know now. And we have all the time in the world." Remus' lips brushed Peter's hair.
Peter felt hollow. "All the time in the world."
Poll
Author: innerslytherin
Characters: Remus Lupin/Peter Pettigrew
Summary: When the Marauders have Order missions, Peter keeps vigil. One night, Remus joins him.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Angst
Notes: Thanks to my super-fast beta-reader, who knows who she is.
"Sirius will be fine, you know."
Lightning flashed outside the window, erasing Peter's reflection from the glass. When he didn't speak, Remus moved up behind him and put a hand on his arm. Peter leaned into it gratefully, watching his best friend's face in the window reflection.
They all knew Peter worried about them. He stood silent vigil as they went on increasingly dangerous errands for the Order. They thought it was because he was too afraid to do much besides paperwork and planning. He'd once overheard James commenting that Peter must feel guilty. It had given him a bad few moments, thinking James knew what he had done, until Sirius chimed in that Peter was just hiding behind them as usual. Peter had felt a flash of resentment mingled with relief. They were underestimating him, as usual.
Remus' hand tightened on Peter's arm, just a little. "You know how clever he is," he said.
Peter sighed and tilted his head back a little to rest it on Remus' shoulder. "I know," he murmured at last. "I thought you were going to James and Lily's."
"Not when I knew you'd be here, worrying." There was a tentative warmth to Remus' voice--one that Peter only heard when they were alone.
"You'd rather be with me?" He felt stupid as soon as he said it, but he'd been trying for weeks to work out what that warmth might mean, and how it could be reserved for him, of all people.
Lightning flashed again, and the resulting thunder shook the house, making them both jump. Tree branches were whipping around, and nothing else was visible beyond them. Peter wasn't sure why he always kept vigil like this. Sirius always just came home, tossed Peter a "Go to bed, Wormy," and disappeared into his room. Remus was the one who sat down, shared a cup of cocoa with him, and assured him everything had gone well.
"I worry about you, Pete," Remus murmured. "Anyway, you always have time for me."
And they don't. Peter and Remus had both learned that. James was busy with a pregnant wife and nursery-related DIY. Sirius was busy with the Order and his motorbike and whatever willing witch he could find.
Peter didn't answer immediately, just leaning against Remus comfortably, relishing the heat that built between them. Remus hadn't been very busy lately. He was between jobs again, which Peter knew frustrated him to no end. It left him time to do more Order missions, but of course that was exactly what sent Peter fretting to stand by the windows of the cottage the three of them shared.
"I know what the others think of me," Peter said in a low voice. He stared at the two of them in the window. Remus was taller, his head tilted down a little towards Peter's. The reflection wasn't clear enough for Peter to read emotion on Remus' face, but he could hear it in his voice--guilt, affection, regret.
"Peter, they just don't--"
"It's all right. I am afraid. I'm afraid of how things are changing. I'm afraid we'll lose. I'm afraid of pain."
"Everyone's afraid of all that, Pete." Remus' voice was gentle. To Peter's surprise, Remus' other arm looped snugly around his waist. A moment later warm breath hit Peter's ear. "But I believe in you. I know you're clever and strong. You'll be all right."
Peter's eyes fluttered closed. "Not without you," he said, then bit his lip. That was a stupid thing to say, no matter how true. But Remus' arm tightened around him.
"You understand, don't you, Pete?" He nuzzled Peter's hair. "It's just us now. James has a family, and Sirius--well, he has James' family."
"But...but we have each other?" Peter hazarded. He liked the way it sounded. Could Remus possibly need him as much as he needed Remus?
"Exactly," Remus said.
Lightning flashed again outside, the wind driving the rain harder against the glass. Peter covered Remus' arm with his own, forcing himself not to wince at the lingering soreness along the inside of his forearm. Suddenly there were new possibilities before him, and a sharp pang of regret shot through him. How could he have given up so easily on his friends? How could he have thought Remus would leave him behind, even if the others did? Why had he taken that final, irreversible step?
"I wish I'd known sooner," he whispered, turning his head a little. The skin of Remus' neck was warm against his forehead. I'll worry more about you. I hope I can protect you. I hope you can forgive me.
"You know now. And we have all the time in the world." Remus' lips brushed Peter's hair.
Peter felt hollow. "All the time in the world."
Poll