Letter to the girl that just doesn't get it (Don't worry not actually sent)
Yes I know that this is probably highly weird for you be getting a letter from me but I want to let you know that this letter is meant to help you find happiness. Ok yes that might be hard to believe but please be mature enough to hear me out, because really if you aren't that mature then you have no hope of being happy, ever with anyone who is mature and who you would want an "adult mature" relationship with.
Let's clear a few things up, I am not after your man. There is no competition and if there was you have obviously won seeing as you are with him and I am not. He chose you, had many years to be with me but wasn't and then he chose you, but if it makes you feel better you won. Congratulations.
Next, I have not done anything to try and sabotage or mess up or break up your relationship. You make him happy, that's what matters to me him being happy. Why would I want to take that away from him? See its this thing that people do where they put the happiness of someone else above their own. You might say that I haven't thought about your happiness in some of the things I've done but sorry I don't know you and don't care about you so why would I put your happiness first before my own? Yes that could be taken harshly but do you care about me? No, see so its mutual and we can move on.
Also, you need to move on past the "ex" factor. That's in the past, way in the past, he and I are now friends. We have been friends since before we were together and that's what we consider ourselves now, we don't use the "ex" label anymore because its not the most important one.
Which this brings me into the advise part of this letter, the past. Everyone has a past, some have more extensive dating past then others, but everyone has them and everyone takes some baggage from past relationships with them forever. Big or small everyone has something from previous relationships. That is something your are going to have to learn and deal with or you will never be able to focus on your current relationship you will always be worrying about his past. Yes some people don't have part of that past, people from that past right there in their normal lives some move on completely from those pasts others can move past it and keep friendships. You just happened upon one of the guys who is able to make a friendship work with his exs which you should take as a good thing because that means he's not a total dick and the girls want to still be friends with him.
Now yes, he and I have a complicated past, one that I understand you've been told but have decided to not care about at all. This sadly has become an issue. It's an issue for you because you are easily upset, quick to get upset, and act like a total bitch about it when he has to/needs to/wants to deal with it. It's an issue for him because he doesn't like making you upset and that means he has to hurt someone else's feelings, yes I know you don't care about my feelings but I'm a friend of his and he doesn't like having to hurt my feelings and you should care about making him uncomfortable. And its an issue for me because I am not able to turn to my friend, the one person who should be there more then anyone else because he was apart of what happened and it happened to him too. Also I have to be constantly worried about not upsetting you so that he stays to talk to me and so that he doesn't get upset because you are upset.
I would like to point out that I have taken your feelings into account on things that I've done, your happiness maybe not so much but some of your other feelings yes. For example that party back in November when you got all upset at him for hugging me yeah he was hugging me because I was walking away from being his friend for a while. It was mostly for my own good, because yes it hurt to see you two together. But what you probably never actually listened from him was that while I was doing that and breaking my own heart I was also telling him that if you make him happy he has to fight for you, he has to give you everything he has to make it work. So see again with the putting someone before yourself.
And another thing, you're 25, you are an adult, have been one legally for 7 years, 8 if you've been in Texas your whole life. It's time to start acting like one. The threats of leaving because he happens to be standing on a patio, on opposite sides of said patio no less, talking to a friend is immature and he'll only put up with for so long. Claiming that you didn't bring any drama into your relationship is BS too. Remember he and I are friends, we talk, and hopefully you've come to realize he is a very honest open person. So I know about the drama you've brought in, just randomly deciding to stop talking to him, every few weeks saying "I don't think this is going to work" yeah that's drama right there. And all the drama that you claim there is that has to do with him you are the reason its drama. You are the one that makes it an issue. Someone who doesn't want drama and who trusts the person they are dating would think wouldn't fly off the handle that he happens to be talking to the ex/friend/woman who carried his child in perfect view of you and not touching. Didn't you notice that we were in your line of sight? It wasn't to hurt you it was so you knew where he was and not that we had snuck off to some dark corner to talk. Also you were more then welcome to walk outside and see what was up if you had wanted to. But no you went with threats of leaving which got to him which made him run off after you leaving me which made him break a promise he made to me about being there for me (as a friend nothing more) and left me an emotional wreck.
Now if you've made it this far I'm proud of you, it shows some maturity. And also you can know that because of your actions which caused him to act the way he did to me there is no trust between him and me anymore. Also I'm pretty sure that we aren't going to be friends for a while because yes I told both of you to fuck off when I said it walking behind him.
And now that I've been nice I'll add this. Yes you may have him but I will always have a part of him and will always be there somewhere in his mind because I did carry his child for a while. And I will never like you because you are a manipulative immature bitch who has put my friend through the hoops and still it isn't good enough for you and all that means is you are not good enough for him. Until you can learn to be an adult, have trust in your guy, actually get to know him and his personality and stop with the threats and the hoops you will never be good enough for him. I can say this because I've come to realize he's not good enough for me but he is still a friend and deserves to be treated like a human being and an adult, especially in front of his friends.
I wish you the best of luck in maturing because if you hurt him I will hurt you.
- "The Ex"
PS The day y'all broke up back in November he went to a hockey game with me and called you a skank and an ugly one at that. :)
Let's clear a few things up, I am not after your man. There is no competition and if there was you have obviously won seeing as you are with him and I am not. He chose you, had many years to be with me but wasn't and then he chose you, but if it makes you feel better you won. Congratulations.
Next, I have not done anything to try and sabotage or mess up or break up your relationship. You make him happy, that's what matters to me him being happy. Why would I want to take that away from him? See its this thing that people do where they put the happiness of someone else above their own. You might say that I haven't thought about your happiness in some of the things I've done but sorry I don't know you and don't care about you so why would I put your happiness first before my own? Yes that could be taken harshly but do you care about me? No, see so its mutual and we can move on.
Also, you need to move on past the "ex" factor. That's in the past, way in the past, he and I are now friends. We have been friends since before we were together and that's what we consider ourselves now, we don't use the "ex" label anymore because its not the most important one.
Which this brings me into the advise part of this letter, the past. Everyone has a past, some have more extensive dating past then others, but everyone has them and everyone takes some baggage from past relationships with them forever. Big or small everyone has something from previous relationships. That is something your are going to have to learn and deal with or you will never be able to focus on your current relationship you will always be worrying about his past. Yes some people don't have part of that past, people from that past right there in their normal lives some move on completely from those pasts others can move past it and keep friendships. You just happened upon one of the guys who is able to make a friendship work with his exs which you should take as a good thing because that means he's not a total dick and the girls want to still be friends with him.
Now yes, he and I have a complicated past, one that I understand you've been told but have decided to not care about at all. This sadly has become an issue. It's an issue for you because you are easily upset, quick to get upset, and act like a total bitch about it when he has to/needs to/wants to deal with it. It's an issue for him because he doesn't like making you upset and that means he has to hurt someone else's feelings, yes I know you don't care about my feelings but I'm a friend of his and he doesn't like having to hurt my feelings and you should care about making him uncomfortable. And its an issue for me because I am not able to turn to my friend, the one person who should be there more then anyone else because he was apart of what happened and it happened to him too. Also I have to be constantly worried about not upsetting you so that he stays to talk to me and so that he doesn't get upset because you are upset.
I would like to point out that I have taken your feelings into account on things that I've done, your happiness maybe not so much but some of your other feelings yes. For example that party back in November when you got all upset at him for hugging me yeah he was hugging me because I was walking away from being his friend for a while. It was mostly for my own good, because yes it hurt to see you two together. But what you probably never actually listened from him was that while I was doing that and breaking my own heart I was also telling him that if you make him happy he has to fight for you, he has to give you everything he has to make it work. So see again with the putting someone before yourself.
And another thing, you're 25, you are an adult, have been one legally for 7 years, 8 if you've been in Texas your whole life. It's time to start acting like one. The threats of leaving because he happens to be standing on a patio, on opposite sides of said patio no less, talking to a friend is immature and he'll only put up with for so long. Claiming that you didn't bring any drama into your relationship is BS too. Remember he and I are friends, we talk, and hopefully you've come to realize he is a very honest open person. So I know about the drama you've brought in, just randomly deciding to stop talking to him, every few weeks saying "I don't think this is going to work" yeah that's drama right there. And all the drama that you claim there is that has to do with him you are the reason its drama. You are the one that makes it an issue. Someone who doesn't want drama and who trusts the person they are dating would think wouldn't fly off the handle that he happens to be talking to the ex/friend/woman who carried his child in perfect view of you and not touching. Didn't you notice that we were in your line of sight? It wasn't to hurt you it was so you knew where he was and not that we had snuck off to some dark corner to talk. Also you were more then welcome to walk outside and see what was up if you had wanted to. But no you went with threats of leaving which got to him which made him run off after you leaving me which made him break a promise he made to me about being there for me (as a friend nothing more) and left me an emotional wreck.
Now if you've made it this far I'm proud of you, it shows some maturity. And also you can know that because of your actions which caused him to act the way he did to me there is no trust between him and me anymore. Also I'm pretty sure that we aren't going to be friends for a while because yes I told both of you to fuck off when I said it walking behind him.
And now that I've been nice I'll add this. Yes you may have him but I will always have a part of him and will always be there somewhere in his mind because I did carry his child for a while. And I will never like you because you are a manipulative immature bitch who has put my friend through the hoops and still it isn't good enough for you and all that means is you are not good enough for him. Until you can learn to be an adult, have trust in your guy, actually get to know him and his personality and stop with the threats and the hoops you will never be good enough for him. I can say this because I've come to realize he's not good enough for me but he is still a friend and deserves to be treated like a human being and an adult, especially in front of his friends.
I wish you the best of luck in maturing because if you hurt him I will hurt you.
- "The Ex"
PS The day y'all broke up back in November he went to a hockey game with me and called you a skank and an ugly one at that. :)