Train of Conscious
My room is too loud in the silence.
I can't hear you breathe or feel your heart beat and I feel something missing.
I feel so alone, so small.
I reach out and no one's there I feel like I'm in an empty void.
Mind racing, can't hear above the thoughts.
I think of you, I think of your family.
I also think of you and your family.
I think of everyone I feel I've let down at some point.
My heart races, how do I slow it, how do I catch my breath?
I think of those who let me down, was I too hard on them or not hard enough.
I think of those who've hurt me, why did I let you do that?
Why did I give you the power to hurt me, why didn't I stop you when I saw it coming?
Why couldn't I hurt you before you hurt me when I knew it was coming?
Why didn't I see it when others hurt me?
Is there someone out there I will be able to let go with again?
Will I ever be able to let myself go... with myself?
Why am I so tough on myself?
Why do I hold onto the biggest hurts and replay them when I'm down?
I've looked after you and your heart and your needs before will I learn to do let someone do that for me again?
I can't sleep, everything plays through my head.
did I try hard enough, could I have done more, should I have given more, should I have taken more.
Was I too hard on you, was I too hard on us.
Was it right to let you go from my life?
Can I turn to you now, will you actually be there when I need you most?
Can I do this on my own?
Why do I think I have to do this on my own?
I still care about you, do you see that? Do you know that?
I can't hear you breathe or feel your heart beat and I feel something missing.
I feel so alone, so small.
I reach out and no one's there I feel like I'm in an empty void.
Mind racing, can't hear above the thoughts.
I think of you, I think of your family.
I also think of you and your family.
I think of everyone I feel I've let down at some point.
My heart races, how do I slow it, how do I catch my breath?
I think of those who let me down, was I too hard on them or not hard enough.
I think of those who've hurt me, why did I let you do that?
Why did I give you the power to hurt me, why didn't I stop you when I saw it coming?
Why couldn't I hurt you before you hurt me when I knew it was coming?
Why didn't I see it when others hurt me?
Is there someone out there I will be able to let go with again?
Will I ever be able to let myself go... with myself?
Why am I so tough on myself?
Why do I hold onto the biggest hurts and replay them when I'm down?
I've looked after you and your heart and your needs before will I learn to do let someone do that for me again?
I can't sleep, everything plays through my head.
did I try hard enough, could I have done more, should I have given more, should I have taken more.
Was I too hard on you, was I too hard on us.
Was it right to let you go from my life?
Can I turn to you now, will you actually be there when I need you most?
Can I do this on my own?
Why do I think I have to do this on my own?
I still care about you, do you see that? Do you know that?