intestinal distress
Last night, in the grips of what could be classified as a drunken stupor, I thoughtlessly grabbed a jar of store-brand, extra crunchy peanut butter from the cupboard that I didn't remember purchasing or having seen before. After eating roughly a tablespoon (shut up, I hear enough about how weird this habit is already), I decided that it really didn't taste good at all. The moment I had swallowed it, my brain finally registered that it tasted like fucking hot garbage. Now too late to make a lick of difference, I turned over the lid, and saw with great dread that the expiration date had passed in February.
Of 2001.
Of 2001.