(no subject)
Its almost Feb 14 and our christmas is probably still going to get postponed, but its really not something that bothers me. I know that it bothers ALex tremendously not to have the kind of money he is earning go towards things he wants but all i mean every penny to rent and to credit cards. I know this sucks for him. That is why my friends we are probably going to have to move once more in this great city to a much much smaller place. I love this house, its huge and homey, but i want alex to be happy and this place is really kinda unrealistic... NO ONE at our age and income rate live like this. its just insanity. It probably wont be until the summer, like when we moved in, but I know that we said we were staying for a while this time. But we jumped too soon, didnt think this one out too well. If anyone knows of some good apartment places north of broad ripple or near broad ripple, let me know.
School has turned werid. I dont know if i even feel like school is going smoothly or if its going rocky. i have ideas and thats what i am working on but man it feels like i am moving at the pace of a turtle. in mud. i am really at this point just trying to make work that teaches me new techniques but i'm not really a big hitter with the other students, but my teachers love my ideas. i guess its just that i not doing things in line with other people right now. but i really feel that i should stick to my ideas and ride them out. i dont want to be popular i just want to make art that reflects me, and not someone else. lately i have had no tolerance for certain individuals simply because i feel that they are copping out and taking ideas from other people and creating some fluffy art that he can not explain because he took the idea from someone else. he used to be a real good friend and now, i cant stand him. i feel like he has given up on himself just so he can make art that comes easy to him with someone elses ideas. the worst part is that the teachers all build him up, blow up his ego to the size of google earth and he thinks that hes fooling everyone. WRONGO BUDDIO. man i hate loosing friends like this. Hes still alright when you get him away from art but its like im lying to him if i dont tell him how i feel about his art. All the rest of my friends have really been scarce these days. The more time i have to hang out with them the less they come around. its a bummer that i feel so let down by them. I thought that they were better friends than to just get so self-involved and skip out on me. Its like artists can't be friends with other artists, they all all just too flaky and cant handle each other on a day to day basis. the thing is, i am SOOOO normal. i just want friends that i can rely on and that like me and want to hang out with me.
wow i sound really whiny. but i hate loving people and then having them let me down. period.
maybe i am just too loyal, but i think it is a resonable thing to ask.
the gym has been my friend lately. i have been able to workout three times a week, and my goal is to continue this as long as i can keep up with school work and work. so far so good, but its been pretty rough. not really the physical aspect but the mental aspect. ive lived long enough to know that jocks and brain drains arent the only people that go to the gym. i need to stay healthy and i need to loose weight. so here i be.
ive been thinking about this summer alot. its going to be one of the best summers of my life. alex and i and almost my entire family are going up to ELy MN and canoeing around for an extended week. backpacking, tents, campfires, most pristine area of wilderness i have EVER seen. It has to be one of the most beautiful places in the world. a GEM. my brother is older and wiser and i think this time his attitude will be much better. i almost killed him last year. my grandpa is also going, amazingly enough. the man is determined to go. i love him so much, i think he is one of my favorite persons and i am so thrilled he is going. he calls me his "special gal" hes great. I wish that sometime this summer i could go down to florida and visit them, but we will see how things go. hes going to the "physical parlor" as well. haha we are both working out and getting in tip top shape.
then after this... GREECE. what can i say but that i am beyond excited. i know alex has taken this kinda hard, but he knows how much i want to do this. plus that means that the summer after i graduate we can go to san fransico instead of over seas... together.
man no one is going to want to read this... it is wayyy tooo long.
now its time for a lovely breakfast and a cup o joe.
ciao friends, must continue working like i will die tomorrow.
School has turned werid. I dont know if i even feel like school is going smoothly or if its going rocky. i have ideas and thats what i am working on but man it feels like i am moving at the pace of a turtle. in mud. i am really at this point just trying to make work that teaches me new techniques but i'm not really a big hitter with the other students, but my teachers love my ideas. i guess its just that i not doing things in line with other people right now. but i really feel that i should stick to my ideas and ride them out. i dont want to be popular i just want to make art that reflects me, and not someone else. lately i have had no tolerance for certain individuals simply because i feel that they are copping out and taking ideas from other people and creating some fluffy art that he can not explain because he took the idea from someone else. he used to be a real good friend and now, i cant stand him. i feel like he has given up on himself just so he can make art that comes easy to him with someone elses ideas. the worst part is that the teachers all build him up, blow up his ego to the size of google earth and he thinks that hes fooling everyone. WRONGO BUDDIO. man i hate loosing friends like this. Hes still alright when you get him away from art but its like im lying to him if i dont tell him how i feel about his art. All the rest of my friends have really been scarce these days. The more time i have to hang out with them the less they come around. its a bummer that i feel so let down by them. I thought that they were better friends than to just get so self-involved and skip out on me. Its like artists can't be friends with other artists, they all all just too flaky and cant handle each other on a day to day basis. the thing is, i am SOOOO normal. i just want friends that i can rely on and that like me and want to hang out with me.
wow i sound really whiny. but i hate loving people and then having them let me down. period.
maybe i am just too loyal, but i think it is a resonable thing to ask.
the gym has been my friend lately. i have been able to workout three times a week, and my goal is to continue this as long as i can keep up with school work and work. so far so good, but its been pretty rough. not really the physical aspect but the mental aspect. ive lived long enough to know that jocks and brain drains arent the only people that go to the gym. i need to stay healthy and i need to loose weight. so here i be.
ive been thinking about this summer alot. its going to be one of the best summers of my life. alex and i and almost my entire family are going up to ELy MN and canoeing around for an extended week. backpacking, tents, campfires, most pristine area of wilderness i have EVER seen. It has to be one of the most beautiful places in the world. a GEM. my brother is older and wiser and i think this time his attitude will be much better. i almost killed him last year. my grandpa is also going, amazingly enough. the man is determined to go. i love him so much, i think he is one of my favorite persons and i am so thrilled he is going. he calls me his "special gal" hes great. I wish that sometime this summer i could go down to florida and visit them, but we will see how things go. hes going to the "physical parlor" as well. haha we are both working out and getting in tip top shape.
then after this... GREECE. what can i say but that i am beyond excited. i know alex has taken this kinda hard, but he knows how much i want to do this. plus that means that the summer after i graduate we can go to san fransico instead of over seas... together.
man no one is going to want to read this... it is wayyy tooo long.
now its time for a lovely breakfast and a cup o joe.
ciao friends, must continue working like i will die tomorrow.