Fic: The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Brendon Urie
Title: The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Brendon Urie
Author: namegoehere
Rating: PG13
Fandom: Panic at the Disco
Disclaimer: Completely fabricated.
Pairings: Brendon/Jon
Wordcount: 2050
Summary: Brendon Urie has a plan, and not just any plan; it's a brilliant plan to get in Jon's pants.
A/N: onmycrew asked for college AU Jon/Brendon where stuff happens. Here you go. :P
«»
Brendon has a plan. It's a devious, complex plan to seduce the hot guy who sits next to him in sociology. He's been nursing a crush for the past three weeks, ever since he and his new friend -- Jon -- bonded over Aladdin. Brendon is convinced that no straight man knows all the words to A Whole New World, so. Jon is going to be his.
Step one is simple: pretend to have a doctor's appointment and get Jon's e-mail address, under the pretense of needing the notes he'll be missing (while he sleeps in). Brendon has absolutely no doubt that step one of his brilliant plan will be a success. He flips his notebook past the page covered in Jon's name and drawings of little hearts and butterflies, so he'll have a blank page for Jon's e-mail. It is a brilliant plan.
There is, however, a slight hitch: Jon doesn't show up to class. It's not a big deal, Brendon reasons. He's probably sick or busy or sleeping off a hangover. He'll be in class on Wednesday for sure. This knowledge doesn't stop him from pouting when his roommate asks, "So, how'd your brilliant plan go?" Ryan doesn't sound sarcastic, but he doesn't sound particularly interested either. Ryan never sounds like much of anything.
"He wasn't there," Brendon says, pouting a little more in the hopes Ryan will feel sorry for him and feign interest.
It doesn't work. "That's too bad," he says blandly. "Spencer's coming over. Do you want Chinese food or pizza?"
«»
Jon is not there on Wednesday, and he doesn't show up on Friday either.
"Maybe he dropped the class," Spencer says.
Brendon hits him for suggesting such a ridiculous thing. A week later, Brendon is forced to admit Spencer was right. He doesn't apologize for hitting him.
He does, however, have to come up with a new plan.
"I have to find him," he tells Ryan, who eyes him with casual disinterest. When Ryan doesn't say anything, Brendon goes on. "He's my soulmate, Ryan. It's obvious. We bonded over Aladdin. I will search high and low until he is found."
"Just plug his name into the student database," Ryan says. "It'll give you his school e-mail." It's kind of anti-climatic, but Brendon pulls his laptop over, heads to the college website, and stares at the screen for a few minutes. He finally throws his empty can of Mountain Dew at Ryan's head.
"That's a stupid idea!" he complains.
Ryan pulls the computer over, saying "Is not. I'll do it. What's his name?" It is a stupid idea, though. It's the stupidest idea ever. Brendon sullenly crosses his arms over his chest, and Ryan smiles and says, "You don't know his last name, do you?"
Brendon picks up the can he threw at Ryan a second earlier, throws it at him again, and goes to sulk in his bedroom.
«»
Brendon's never been particularly good at sulking. He doesn't have the patience for it, and he's bored after about five minutes. He's just going to have to find Jon on his own -- it can't possibly be that hard. There can't be that many people in Las Vegas named Jon -- or was it John? Whatever. It'll be easy.
«»
He starts with the obvious places -- the library, the campus bar, the student union building, the humanities centre. He spends so much time at the library that the librarian finally asks him if he's lost.
"No," he says cheerfully. "I'm okay, I'm just looking for Jon."
He's not twenty-one, so they won't let him into the bar to look for Jon, even though he explains that he's just looking for someone, he doesn't want to drink, really. He sits outside, hoping Jon will show up, but eventually they threaten to call campus security if he doesn't leave.
If Jon happens to wander by anywhere else on campus, Brendon doesn't see him.
«»
"I can't find Jon," he complains to Ryan. Ryan makes a vaguely interested noise, but doesn't look up from his notebook. "I've looked everywhere."
Ryan doesn't seem to care. Brendon huffs and goes to call Spencer. Maybe he'll help him find Jon.
«»
Spencer does suggest a few other places Jon could be, but Brendon looks and doesn't find him. Ryan comes home the next week to find Brendon going through the kitchen cupboards.
"Um," he says. "What are you looking for?"
Brendon doesn't look up from the pots and pans he's investigating. "Jon," he says.
Ryan is quiet for a while before echoing, "Jon?"
"Yeah. You know, the hot guy --"
"From your sociology class, yeah. But why are you looking in the kitchen cupboards?"
Brendon realizes it is not a likely place to find Jon, but he says, "He might be hiding."
"... In our kitchen cupboards?"
"Yes," Brendon says decisively, but he sits up, looking at Ryan from his place on the floor. He feels stupid. "I. Ryan, I don't think I'm going to find him. I think he's gone."
Ryan often displays the emotional sensitivity of a particularly insensitive piece of wood. Right now, though, he reaches down and tugs Brendon up, then leads him over to the couch. When they sit down, Brendon curls into his side, and Ryan wraps an arm around his shoulders.
"He's gone," Brendon says again.
Ryan presses his mouth against Brendon's hair, says softly, "There will be other cute guys in other sociology classes."
"But they won't be Jon," Brendon insists. "He was my soulmate. There was Aladdin."
Brendon knows that normally Ryan would groan and roll his eyes. Right now, though, he hugs Brendon close and whispers, "I know. I'm sorry."
«»
Brendon doesn't really forget about Jon, but he gives up on the idea of finding him. He flirts with a couple guys, but they all give him blank looks when he mentions Disney movies. Jon was obviously his soulmate, and Brendon is depressed to have lost him. He sulks around the apartment; he's getting pretty good at it, actually. He can't even watch Disney movies to make himself feel better.
He wonders if Jon knows all the songs from Robin Hood and the Little Mermaid and Mary Poppins, too.
He finally decides what he obviously needs is ridiculously expensive girly coffee and a piece of blueberry crumble from Starbucks. There's one a couple of blocks from the apartment, so Brendon finds his wallet and heads out.
It's really crowded, and Brendon cranes his neck up to decide which ridiculous coffee-like drink he wants. The barista looks at him and smiles. Brendon stares at him blankly for a second.
"It's YOU," he says. "I looked everywhere for you, because I had this brilliant plan to get your e-mail address and then you left and you never showed up and I never got it and you disappeared and you ruined my plan and I'm mad at you." People around him are staring, and Jon is smiling. Brendon doesn't care. He's angry, damnit.
Jon arches an eyebrow before finally saying, "I get off in ten minutes. How about I buy you lunch?"
Brendon really wants to stay mad, he does. He can't help it though. He grins and says, "Jon, you're my favourite!"
«»
His name is Jon Walker -- Jonathan Jacob Walker -- and he gives Brendon his home and cell phone numbers, his school and personal e-mail addresses, his mailing address, MySpace ID, and usernames for both AIM and MSN.
"Want my social security number, too?" he jokes, and Brendon beams at him.
"Yes please. Either that, or you could come over to my place and watch Disney movies with me."
Jon grins back at him. "Disney movies it is."
Soulmates. Obviously.
«»
Brendon is ready to move on with the second phase of his brilliant plan. He's not entirely sure what it was, but it's brilliant anyway. He decides that he's going to be incredibly awesome and wonderful until Jon makes out with him, which Jon obviously will, since they're soulmates and everything.
After two weeks of being awesome and wonderful, Jon still hasn't made out with him, and Brendon is getting annoyed. "You're ruining my brilliant plan," he tells Jon.
"Plan?" Jon asks.
"Uh, nothing." Brendon decides that section B of the second phase of his plan is to not tell Jon there is a plan.
«»
"He's ruining my brilliant plan," he tells Ryan.
Ryan is back to being unsympathetic. "That's nice," he says.
Brendon calls Spencer and tells him, "Spencer, Jon is ruining my brilliant plan."
Spencer says, "Maybe you need a new plan."
Brendon does not need a new plan. His plan is brilliant. He hangs up on Spencer, and tries to come up with a new plan.
«»
Brendon's new plan is to get Ryan to get Jon to make out with him. He tells Ryan this, and Ryan says, "I'm not getting involved."
Brendon throws a pencil at him and says, "You're the worst roommate ever."
He calls Spencer and says, "Spencer, I'm going to introduce you to Jon, and you're going to tell him I'm awesome and he should go out with me, okay?"
Spencer says, "Are you buying me lunch?"
"Fine," Brendon says. "Greedy."
«»
Spencer ruins Brendon's newest brilliant plan. When he and Spencer meet Jon for lunch, Spencer laughs and hugs Jon and Jon hugs him back and this was not supposed to happen, and --
"Wait, you know each other?"
Spencer looks at him and says, "He's in my anthropology class."
Brendon hits his shoulder. "You're the worst friend ever," he says. Jon is looking at them blankly, so Brendon smiles and says, "That's the most awesome thing ever."
It's not, though, because they get so caught up talking about their anthropology professor's love life that Spencer forgets to tell Jon to make out with Brendon.
«»
Brendon is trying to come up with a new brilliant plan when Jon calls and asks if he wants to hang out. Brendon figures he can put the planning on hold for one night and watch a movie.
Jon has beer, which is awesome, especially because he and Brendon drink a lot of it. It's even more awesome because Brendon curls up against Jon on the couch and Jon has both his arms around Brendon and it's totally, ridiculously comfortable. The movie's been over for ten minutes and they haven't moved.
"I really like you," Brendon says.
"I like you too," Jon tells him.
Brendon is not in control of his own mouth. "No," he says. "I mean. I really like you. Like. I want to make out with you. And maybe stick my hand down your pants."
Jon looks at him, and says, "I think maybe you should get some sleep."
«»
Brendon wakes up feeling hung-over and stupid. He's not sure where he is, but somebody is breathing on his neck and he feels kind of queasy. And really, really, really stupid. He stumbles out of bed and glances back at where Jon is curled up on the mattress. He's quiet as he lets himself out.
«»
Jon calls later, but Brendon doesn't pick up. Jon actually calls like six times, and Brendon doesn't pick up.
Jon finally shows up on his doorstep and says, "I'm really sorry."
Brendon lets him in, says, "It's fine, I was. Really drunk, I'm sorry, I didn't mean -- I hope I didn't make anything weird."
He's still kind of hung-over and feeling pretty much like a complete idiot.
"No," Jon says, "I meant. I'm really sorry I didn't do this last night," and he nudges Brendon up against the wall and kisses him until neither of them can breathe. This was not the plan, but Brendon doesn't care, just slides his arms around Jon's neck and holds him close.
"Does this mean I get to stick my hand down your pants?" Brendon asks, panting, and Jon kisses him again.
"Only if I get to stick mine down yours." Jon pauses for a minute, then nips at Brendon's jaw affectionately. His mouth is warm. "Or we could both just take our pants off."
Brendon thinks that's the most brilliant plan ever.
Author: namegoehere
Rating: PG13
Fandom: Panic at the Disco
Disclaimer: Completely fabricated.
Pairings: Brendon/Jon
Wordcount: 2050
Summary: Brendon Urie has a plan, and not just any plan; it's a brilliant plan to get in Jon's pants.
A/N: onmycrew asked for college AU Jon/Brendon where stuff happens. Here you go. :P
«»
Brendon has a plan. It's a devious, complex plan to seduce the hot guy who sits next to him in sociology. He's been nursing a crush for the past three weeks, ever since he and his new friend -- Jon -- bonded over Aladdin. Brendon is convinced that no straight man knows all the words to A Whole New World, so. Jon is going to be his.
Step one is simple: pretend to have a doctor's appointment and get Jon's e-mail address, under the pretense of needing the notes he'll be missing (while he sleeps in). Brendon has absolutely no doubt that step one of his brilliant plan will be a success. He flips his notebook past the page covered in Jon's name and drawings of little hearts and butterflies, so he'll have a blank page for Jon's e-mail. It is a brilliant plan.
There is, however, a slight hitch: Jon doesn't show up to class. It's not a big deal, Brendon reasons. He's probably sick or busy or sleeping off a hangover. He'll be in class on Wednesday for sure. This knowledge doesn't stop him from pouting when his roommate asks, "So, how'd your brilliant plan go?" Ryan doesn't sound sarcastic, but he doesn't sound particularly interested either. Ryan never sounds like much of anything.
"He wasn't there," Brendon says, pouting a little more in the hopes Ryan will feel sorry for him and feign interest.
It doesn't work. "That's too bad," he says blandly. "Spencer's coming over. Do you want Chinese food or pizza?"
«»
Jon is not there on Wednesday, and he doesn't show up on Friday either.
"Maybe he dropped the class," Spencer says.
Brendon hits him for suggesting such a ridiculous thing. A week later, Brendon is forced to admit Spencer was right. He doesn't apologize for hitting him.
He does, however, have to come up with a new plan.
"I have to find him," he tells Ryan, who eyes him with casual disinterest. When Ryan doesn't say anything, Brendon goes on. "He's my soulmate, Ryan. It's obvious. We bonded over Aladdin. I will search high and low until he is found."
"Just plug his name into the student database," Ryan says. "It'll give you his school e-mail." It's kind of anti-climatic, but Brendon pulls his laptop over, heads to the college website, and stares at the screen for a few minutes. He finally throws his empty can of Mountain Dew at Ryan's head.
"That's a stupid idea!" he complains.
Ryan pulls the computer over, saying "Is not. I'll do it. What's his name?" It is a stupid idea, though. It's the stupidest idea ever. Brendon sullenly crosses his arms over his chest, and Ryan smiles and says, "You don't know his last name, do you?"
Brendon picks up the can he threw at Ryan a second earlier, throws it at him again, and goes to sulk in his bedroom.
«»
Brendon's never been particularly good at sulking. He doesn't have the patience for it, and he's bored after about five minutes. He's just going to have to find Jon on his own -- it can't possibly be that hard. There can't be that many people in Las Vegas named Jon -- or was it John? Whatever. It'll be easy.
«»
He starts with the obvious places -- the library, the campus bar, the student union building, the humanities centre. He spends so much time at the library that the librarian finally asks him if he's lost.
"No," he says cheerfully. "I'm okay, I'm just looking for Jon."
He's not twenty-one, so they won't let him into the bar to look for Jon, even though he explains that he's just looking for someone, he doesn't want to drink, really. He sits outside, hoping Jon will show up, but eventually they threaten to call campus security if he doesn't leave.
If Jon happens to wander by anywhere else on campus, Brendon doesn't see him.
«»
"I can't find Jon," he complains to Ryan. Ryan makes a vaguely interested noise, but doesn't look up from his notebook. "I've looked everywhere."
Ryan doesn't seem to care. Brendon huffs and goes to call Spencer. Maybe he'll help him find Jon.
«»
Spencer does suggest a few other places Jon could be, but Brendon looks and doesn't find him. Ryan comes home the next week to find Brendon going through the kitchen cupboards.
"Um," he says. "What are you looking for?"
Brendon doesn't look up from the pots and pans he's investigating. "Jon," he says.
Ryan is quiet for a while before echoing, "Jon?"
"Yeah. You know, the hot guy --"
"From your sociology class, yeah. But why are you looking in the kitchen cupboards?"
Brendon realizes it is not a likely place to find Jon, but he says, "He might be hiding."
"... In our kitchen cupboards?"
"Yes," Brendon says decisively, but he sits up, looking at Ryan from his place on the floor. He feels stupid. "I. Ryan, I don't think I'm going to find him. I think he's gone."
Ryan often displays the emotional sensitivity of a particularly insensitive piece of wood. Right now, though, he reaches down and tugs Brendon up, then leads him over to the couch. When they sit down, Brendon curls into his side, and Ryan wraps an arm around his shoulders.
"He's gone," Brendon says again.
Ryan presses his mouth against Brendon's hair, says softly, "There will be other cute guys in other sociology classes."
"But they won't be Jon," Brendon insists. "He was my soulmate. There was Aladdin."
Brendon knows that normally Ryan would groan and roll his eyes. Right now, though, he hugs Brendon close and whispers, "I know. I'm sorry."
«»
Brendon doesn't really forget about Jon, but he gives up on the idea of finding him. He flirts with a couple guys, but they all give him blank looks when he mentions Disney movies. Jon was obviously his soulmate, and Brendon is depressed to have lost him. He sulks around the apartment; he's getting pretty good at it, actually. He can't even watch Disney movies to make himself feel better.
He wonders if Jon knows all the songs from Robin Hood and the Little Mermaid and Mary Poppins, too.
He finally decides what he obviously needs is ridiculously expensive girly coffee and a piece of blueberry crumble from Starbucks. There's one a couple of blocks from the apartment, so Brendon finds his wallet and heads out.
It's really crowded, and Brendon cranes his neck up to decide which ridiculous coffee-like drink he wants. The barista looks at him and smiles. Brendon stares at him blankly for a second.
"It's YOU," he says. "I looked everywhere for you, because I had this brilliant plan to get your e-mail address and then you left and you never showed up and I never got it and you disappeared and you ruined my plan and I'm mad at you." People around him are staring, and Jon is smiling. Brendon doesn't care. He's angry, damnit.
Jon arches an eyebrow before finally saying, "I get off in ten minutes. How about I buy you lunch?"
Brendon really wants to stay mad, he does. He can't help it though. He grins and says, "Jon, you're my favourite!"
«»
His name is Jon Walker -- Jonathan Jacob Walker -- and he gives Brendon his home and cell phone numbers, his school and personal e-mail addresses, his mailing address, MySpace ID, and usernames for both AIM and MSN.
"Want my social security number, too?" he jokes, and Brendon beams at him.
"Yes please. Either that, or you could come over to my place and watch Disney movies with me."
Jon grins back at him. "Disney movies it is."
Soulmates. Obviously.
«»
Brendon is ready to move on with the second phase of his brilliant plan. He's not entirely sure what it was, but it's brilliant anyway. He decides that he's going to be incredibly awesome and wonderful until Jon makes out with him, which Jon obviously will, since they're soulmates and everything.
After two weeks of being awesome and wonderful, Jon still hasn't made out with him, and Brendon is getting annoyed. "You're ruining my brilliant plan," he tells Jon.
"Plan?" Jon asks.
"Uh, nothing." Brendon decides that section B of the second phase of his plan is to not tell Jon there is a plan.
«»
"He's ruining my brilliant plan," he tells Ryan.
Ryan is back to being unsympathetic. "That's nice," he says.
Brendon calls Spencer and tells him, "Spencer, Jon is ruining my brilliant plan."
Spencer says, "Maybe you need a new plan."
Brendon does not need a new plan. His plan is brilliant. He hangs up on Spencer, and tries to come up with a new plan.
«»
Brendon's new plan is to get Ryan to get Jon to make out with him. He tells Ryan this, and Ryan says, "I'm not getting involved."
Brendon throws a pencil at him and says, "You're the worst roommate ever."
He calls Spencer and says, "Spencer, I'm going to introduce you to Jon, and you're going to tell him I'm awesome and he should go out with me, okay?"
Spencer says, "Are you buying me lunch?"
"Fine," Brendon says. "Greedy."
«»
Spencer ruins Brendon's newest brilliant plan. When he and Spencer meet Jon for lunch, Spencer laughs and hugs Jon and Jon hugs him back and this was not supposed to happen, and --
"Wait, you know each other?"
Spencer looks at him and says, "He's in my anthropology class."
Brendon hits his shoulder. "You're the worst friend ever," he says. Jon is looking at them blankly, so Brendon smiles and says, "That's the most awesome thing ever."
It's not, though, because they get so caught up talking about their anthropology professor's love life that Spencer forgets to tell Jon to make out with Brendon.
«»
Brendon is trying to come up with a new brilliant plan when Jon calls and asks if he wants to hang out. Brendon figures he can put the planning on hold for one night and watch a movie.
Jon has beer, which is awesome, especially because he and Brendon drink a lot of it. It's even more awesome because Brendon curls up against Jon on the couch and Jon has both his arms around Brendon and it's totally, ridiculously comfortable. The movie's been over for ten minutes and they haven't moved.
"I really like you," Brendon says.
"I like you too," Jon tells him.
Brendon is not in control of his own mouth. "No," he says. "I mean. I really like you. Like. I want to make out with you. And maybe stick my hand down your pants."
Jon looks at him, and says, "I think maybe you should get some sleep."
«»
Brendon wakes up feeling hung-over and stupid. He's not sure where he is, but somebody is breathing on his neck and he feels kind of queasy. And really, really, really stupid. He stumbles out of bed and glances back at where Jon is curled up on the mattress. He's quiet as he lets himself out.
«»
Jon calls later, but Brendon doesn't pick up. Jon actually calls like six times, and Brendon doesn't pick up.
Jon finally shows up on his doorstep and says, "I'm really sorry."
Brendon lets him in, says, "It's fine, I was. Really drunk, I'm sorry, I didn't mean -- I hope I didn't make anything weird."
He's still kind of hung-over and feeling pretty much like a complete idiot.
"No," Jon says, "I meant. I'm really sorry I didn't do this last night," and he nudges Brendon up against the wall and kisses him until neither of them can breathe. This was not the plan, but Brendon doesn't care, just slides his arms around Jon's neck and holds him close.
"Does this mean I get to stick my hand down your pants?" Brendon asks, panting, and Jon kisses him again.
"Only if I get to stick mine down yours." Jon pauses for a minute, then nips at Brendon's jaw affectionately. His mouth is warm. "Or we could both just take our pants off."
Brendon thinks that's the most brilliant plan ever.