(no subject)
Well, the last month has been, to say the least, educational.
My dad has now been diagnosed: frontal lobe dementia, brought on by his stroke. He spent most of the last month in the mental health ward and has now been transferred back to the hospital in our home town. He will not be coming home. From the hospital, he'll be transferred back to a specialized nursing facility that can handle him (fortunately, it's in the city where I live). He's ok a lot of the time, but he gets aggressive and unmanageable sometimes, and he absolutely does not believe that he needs to be in a facility. He wants to go home, and he wants to go home RIGHT NOW DAMMIT! And it can take 5 men to restrain him, apparently. He's 80. He's rather disturbingly proud that he's able to cause them so much trouble at his age, actually.
Once we actually got a diagnosis and some information on how to deal with him (not from the medical system but from a random friend whose mother-in-law has the same condition), things became a whole lot more manageable. Surreal as hell, but manageable.
He's developed the idea that he's come into a massive amount of money (sometimes he's not sure how much, but one time he informed me that it was 19 billion dollars). This money is apparently from compound interest on his Canada pension payments that accrued while he was dead for a year.
Also, he tells me that he is attached to one of the nurses via his hospital bracelet. The nurse, Stephen, can never be further away than the width of the bracelet. And there are holes in the hospital and people are escaping through them all the time. He gets quite angry at the staff when they fail to go looking for all of these missing patients. Then comes the shouting and the restraints.
My coping strategy is to pretend that I'm doing an improv scene where my assignment is to keep things calm and controlled, and my scene partner is allowed to do or say any damn thing he likes. Treating it as a game helps me to not get rattled and our conversations have been a lot more pleasant. My mom is having a harder time of it, although she's busy being fine and handling everything.
Thank you to everyone who has sent me messages of support. I have been spotty on replying, but I have very much appreciated the notes. I promise I'll get on top of my responses soon.
My dad has now been diagnosed: frontal lobe dementia, brought on by his stroke. He spent most of the last month in the mental health ward and has now been transferred back to the hospital in our home town. He will not be coming home. From the hospital, he'll be transferred back to a specialized nursing facility that can handle him (fortunately, it's in the city where I live). He's ok a lot of the time, but he gets aggressive and unmanageable sometimes, and he absolutely does not believe that he needs to be in a facility. He wants to go home, and he wants to go home RIGHT NOW DAMMIT! And it can take 5 men to restrain him, apparently. He's 80. He's rather disturbingly proud that he's able to cause them so much trouble at his age, actually.
Once we actually got a diagnosis and some information on how to deal with him (not from the medical system but from a random friend whose mother-in-law has the same condition), things became a whole lot more manageable. Surreal as hell, but manageable.
He's developed the idea that he's come into a massive amount of money (sometimes he's not sure how much, but one time he informed me that it was 19 billion dollars). This money is apparently from compound interest on his Canada pension payments that accrued while he was dead for a year.
Also, he tells me that he is attached to one of the nurses via his hospital bracelet. The nurse, Stephen, can never be further away than the width of the bracelet. And there are holes in the hospital and people are escaping through them all the time. He gets quite angry at the staff when they fail to go looking for all of these missing patients. Then comes the shouting and the restraints.
My coping strategy is to pretend that I'm doing an improv scene where my assignment is to keep things calm and controlled, and my scene partner is allowed to do or say any damn thing he likes. Treating it as a game helps me to not get rattled and our conversations have been a lot more pleasant. My mom is having a harder time of it, although she's busy being fine and handling everything.
Thank you to everyone who has sent me messages of support. I have been spotty on replying, but I have very much appreciated the notes. I promise I'll get on top of my responses soon.