Thank God For Alcohol. And Fried Potatoes.
Lately, I've felt really unsure about everything that's been going on in my life. Things are all up in the air, and I'm kind of having a hard time dealing with it.
First of all, my parents have decided to file for bankruptcy, and let the bank foreclose on their house. They cannot afford to make their mortgage payments, and I sure as hell can't afford to keep paying all their other bills for them... so they think it's best to let the bank take the house, and move in to the duplex next door. It's smaller, and less dilapidated than their house (you can't tell from the outside, because the yard and house both look very nice... but the roof in the kitchen leaks like a sieve, the plumbing in our bathroom is screwed up, the electrical wiring is a nightmare, the floor is warped and the joists don't even meet the walls anymore so there are gaps where the walls meet the floors in places... not to mention that the subfloor is pretty much saturated with cat urine, so no matter how hard you mop or whatever you mop with, the smell cannot be gotten rid of). It would take a lot of money to fix everything that's wrong with that house; more than the house is worth, basically, and so my parents would rather just get out from under it.
Maybe that would be best. It is a shitty situation, but I guess it'll be for the better. I asked my mom if she'd be resentful to live next door to her old house, seeing new people living in the house that she'd lived in for seventeen years, and worked so hard to landscape and beautify. She says she wouldn't feel bad, but I have my doubts. Hell, I have doubts about me feeling okay with other people living in that house. As much as I bitch about living in that house with my parents... it was home. We first moved there when I was sixteen, and I lived there until I was twenty, at which time Jerry and I got an apartment together. Then, six years ago, Jerry and I had to move out of our apartment and move back in with my parents (so we could save money, HA!).
So... I guess the living-with-my-parents thing is finally coming to a close. Which would be awesome... if we had somewhere else to go! I don't think we will be forced to leave for a few more months (foreclosures take a little while to go through, right?), but I'm not entirely sure that we'll be able to save up enough money to get a deposit together for an apartment. But I am entirely sure that we cannot borrow from my bank. Our application got denied last week. So... yeah. Gotta start squirreling away more judiciously, I guess.
Meanwhile, the transmission in our car is NOT ONLY crapping out, but our tags are also expired. I sweat every time we drive, constantly on the lookout for cops. I am so fearful of getting pulled over. We can't afford a ticket! But we can't register our car until we get it smogged. Which we can't do, because it won't pass the smog test. The "Check Engine" light is on, which is an automatic failure. Stupid laws. Our car is a clean-running car; it's not like it's belching out smoky exhaust or anything. It would pass the emissions test with flying colors. But the stupid light's on, and so we can't smog the car, so we can't register the damn thing. So we'll probably get like a two-hundred-dollar ticket, which will quickly turn into an eight-hundred-dollar ticket because we will be penalized for not paying the two hundred dollars in the time alloted, because we are BROKE!
Also, my Avon business is stressing me out. My orders are on hold until I can pay the bill for the products. I owe Avon about a hundred and fifty dollars. See, I place orders for my customers, then I pay for it, and then Avon sends me the products, and I deliver them to my customers and collect their money, which I reimburse myself with, and earn a little commission. So far, I've made a good little chunk of change... like four hundred bucks since I started in February. It's a good gig, and Avon has good products. I like selling Avon. About 90% of my customers at the coffee shop are potential customers, and I have a few ladies that place bi-monthly orders with me. BUT... somehow I got behind one payment (I know how I got behind, actually... Last month, instead of depositing money from my customers into my account, Jerry and I took it to the Annual Stockton Asparagus Festival and bought beer and deep-fried asparagus), so Avon won't send me this current order. And I do not collect money from my customers until I deliver the products... so I'm stuck. I'll have to put some of my tips or some money from my paycheck into my Avon account. I don't like to do that; I prefer to keep my family's money seperate from my Avon money. Gotta do what I gotta do, though.
I'm sure there are many, many other things I could vent about, but this bitch-fest is way too long as it is. I'll save them for another post. Sorry about the negativity. My life just pretty much sucks right now. I'm sure it'll be okay eventually... it's just trying to deal with it in the meantime is getting me down. No, not down... I feel anxious and manic.
But Jerry has just handed me a plate of fried potatoes and a nice, tall Screwdriver, so I think I'll be okay.
First of all, my parents have decided to file for bankruptcy, and let the bank foreclose on their house. They cannot afford to make their mortgage payments, and I sure as hell can't afford to keep paying all their other bills for them... so they think it's best to let the bank take the house, and move in to the duplex next door. It's smaller, and less dilapidated than their house (you can't tell from the outside, because the yard and house both look very nice... but the roof in the kitchen leaks like a sieve, the plumbing in our bathroom is screwed up, the electrical wiring is a nightmare, the floor is warped and the joists don't even meet the walls anymore so there are gaps where the walls meet the floors in places... not to mention that the subfloor is pretty much saturated with cat urine, so no matter how hard you mop or whatever you mop with, the smell cannot be gotten rid of). It would take a lot of money to fix everything that's wrong with that house; more than the house is worth, basically, and so my parents would rather just get out from under it.
Maybe that would be best. It is a shitty situation, but I guess it'll be for the better. I asked my mom if she'd be resentful to live next door to her old house, seeing new people living in the house that she'd lived in for seventeen years, and worked so hard to landscape and beautify. She says she wouldn't feel bad, but I have my doubts. Hell, I have doubts about me feeling okay with other people living in that house. As much as I bitch about living in that house with my parents... it was home. We first moved there when I was sixteen, and I lived there until I was twenty, at which time Jerry and I got an apartment together. Then, six years ago, Jerry and I had to move out of our apartment and move back in with my parents (so we could save money, HA!).
So... I guess the living-with-my-parents thing is finally coming to a close. Which would be awesome... if we had somewhere else to go! I don't think we will be forced to leave for a few more months (foreclosures take a little while to go through, right?), but I'm not entirely sure that we'll be able to save up enough money to get a deposit together for an apartment. But I am entirely sure that we cannot borrow from my bank. Our application got denied last week. So... yeah. Gotta start squirreling away more judiciously, I guess.
Meanwhile, the transmission in our car is NOT ONLY crapping out, but our tags are also expired. I sweat every time we drive, constantly on the lookout for cops. I am so fearful of getting pulled over. We can't afford a ticket! But we can't register our car until we get it smogged. Which we can't do, because it won't pass the smog test. The "Check Engine" light is on, which is an automatic failure. Stupid laws. Our car is a clean-running car; it's not like it's belching out smoky exhaust or anything. It would pass the emissions test with flying colors. But the stupid light's on, and so we can't smog the car, so we can't register the damn thing. So we'll probably get like a two-hundred-dollar ticket, which will quickly turn into an eight-hundred-dollar ticket because we will be penalized for not paying the two hundred dollars in the time alloted, because we are BROKE!
Also, my Avon business is stressing me out. My orders are on hold until I can pay the bill for the products. I owe Avon about a hundred and fifty dollars. See, I place orders for my customers, then I pay for it, and then Avon sends me the products, and I deliver them to my customers and collect their money, which I reimburse myself with, and earn a little commission. So far, I've made a good little chunk of change... like four hundred bucks since I started in February. It's a good gig, and Avon has good products. I like selling Avon. About 90% of my customers at the coffee shop are potential customers, and I have a few ladies that place bi-monthly orders with me. BUT... somehow I got behind one payment (I know how I got behind, actually... Last month, instead of depositing money from my customers into my account, Jerry and I took it to the Annual Stockton Asparagus Festival and bought beer and deep-fried asparagus), so Avon won't send me this current order. And I do not collect money from my customers until I deliver the products... so I'm stuck. I'll have to put some of my tips or some money from my paycheck into my Avon account. I don't like to do that; I prefer to keep my family's money seperate from my Avon money. Gotta do what I gotta do, though.
I'm sure there are many, many other things I could vent about, but this bitch-fest is way too long as it is. I'll save them for another post. Sorry about the negativity. My life just pretty much sucks right now. I'm sure it'll be okay eventually... it's just trying to deal with it in the meantime is getting me down. No, not down... I feel anxious and manic.
But Jerry has just handed me a plate of fried potatoes and a nice, tall Screwdriver, so I think I'll be okay.