A Man With Two Husbands (Real Person Fiction, Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles, 11-animal)
Title: A Man With Two Husbands
Author/Artist: my_sam_dean
Character/Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Fandom: Real Person Fiction
Theme: 11 - animal
Dislcaimer: I don't know them. This never happened. It's totally fiction.
Connor slammed the door so hard that it rattled on its hinges. The vehicle door got the same treatment before squealing tires carried him out onto the street. When the sound of the engine faded away, Jared knew he was gone.
Broken dishes scattered the kitchen floor. Connor had not been pleased with Jared's meal choices. All that stoneware was broken in what equaled a temper tantrum. Jared slid the trashcan to the largest grouping and started cleaning up.
Jared remembered the harsh words Connor had thrown at him before he took his frustration out on the plates. Your mama must have dropped you on your head or are you just naturally this stupid? You know I don't like spaghetti and yet you've made a casserole that is basically just that. Do you need to be punished to remember not to do this again? I think you do. *smack* Oh, big baby Jared, you going to cry now? Come on, give me some of those tears!
Unchecked drops slid down Jared's face as he tried to look for some resemblance in the monster of today with the boy he fell in love with in high school. He couldn't find any similarities.
****
(Flashback begins)
"Hey, Jared. We still on for Friday night?" Connor's blue eyes sparkled with excitement.
"Yeah," Jared stuffed a couple books into his bag. "I've got two nights to get all my homework done. If my folks don't think there's much assigned on Friday, I can go. What movie did you want to see again?"
Connor smiled. "Whatever. We don't usually watch the movie anyway."
"Connor," Jared scolded as he blushed. "Someone could hear you."
"Someone could see us at the theater and you don't seem too worried about that."
Connor had a point. Jared's brain seemed to shut off when hormones kicked in. He knew he needed to keep a level head but Connor wasn't helping either. He kept pushing the envelope for public displays of affection. While everyone knew Connor was gay, Jared's family still had the hope that he'd find a nice girl to marry and have a passel of grandkids.
"Maybe I don't want to go out with you on Friday," Jared flirted. "I bet if I asked around, I could get a better offer." Jared had no clue that he'd stuck a chord with Connor, that his jealousy streak would cause him great pains one day.
With his face totally blank, Connor replied, "Go ahead. See if I care." He turned on his heel and walked away.
Jared was stunned for a moment and then took off after Connor, grabbing his arm. As soon as Jared touched him, Connor swung. He put all he had into a punch that connected with Jared's eye.
"Jared? You can't just jerk someone around like that. I'm sorry. It was just reflex."
From his position on the floor, Jared was certain of the pain he saw in Connor's eyes. After all, who is to say that he wouldn't strike out if approached from behind?
They had their usual Friday date at the movies. Seated in the back row, they were among other kids who also had not come for the movie. The kissing and moans would have made it impossible for any of them to hear the movie. The real customers, they sat in the front half of the theater because they knew what went on in the back.
"Jared," Connor's hot breath made Jared's skin goose bump with anticipation. "I'm not wearing any underwear. Are you?"
"Yeah," Jared chuckled a little. "Isn't it uncomfortable hanging free in your jeans?"
"It makes this so much easier," Connor unzipped his pants and pulled himself out.
"Put that away! Someone will see."
"Who? It's like we're in the middle of an orgy. Nobody cares." Connor released the button on Jared's jeans and pulled the zipper down. When he edged Jared's jeans and underwear over his hips, Jared realized exactly how exposed he was.
"I can't be naked like this."
Connor kissed the rest of his words out of his mouth. He held their cocks together and stroked them both at the same time. "Guess you'll remember to forget the underwear at home next time," Connor whispered in Jared's ear as Jared's mind stuttered and shut off.
They were seniors when they told their folks they were getting married. Neither set of parents was happy. Connor turned 18 before Jared did, so they planned to go down to the courthouse on Jared's 18th birthday. They'd still have a couple months of school left, but they'd be able to finish without much of a fuss.
Even some of their friends tried to talk them out of it. Mostly, Jared's friends were concerned about him and didn't really trust Connor with their friend. The more they tried to tell Jared, the more he defended Connor. So, resigned to the fact that they'd done all they could, they were at the courthouse for the marriage. Siblings and parents were also there. The mothers cried, as was expected, but the fathers just looked pissed.
They had their own apartment. It was tiny but it was theirs. There was only one car between the two of them but they couldn't have afforded a second car anyway.
At first, the shiny gold bands on their fingers attracted lots of attention. As time went on, they weren't so interesting anymore. The crowd moved on to other topics of conversation.
Their nights were steamy and they overslept some mornings. Teachers were disgusted with their academic behavior because they'd both been such good students in the past. They tried to cut the couple a little slack, remembering what it was like to be newlyweds, but eventually the principal had to step in. He laid down the law and the boys abided by it, even if they hadn't been to sleep yet when the sun rose.
The feeling of walking across the stage to get their diplomas was definitely worth it.
(Flashback over)
***
With all the pieces picked up, Jared mopped the floor to catch any small shards. Connor hadn't been gone all that long. After he put the mop and bucket away, he called his friend, Chad.
"Yup!"
"That's how you answer your phone?" Jared laughed.
"I recognized the number. So, what's up, dude?"
"Connor just threw a fit and left."
"Did you yell back at him?"
"No."
"You've got to learn to do that, Jared. Can't let him walk all over you."
"I know, I know. I just don't feel like being here when he gets some tonight. Would you like some company?"
"Sure, man. Bring over some brews and we'll watch the game."
A weight lifted from Jared's shoulders as he threw a few items in a bag and left their house. He had loved the house so much in the beginning and now saw it as a prison.
***
"You could leave him you know," Chad was the voice of reason and that happened rarely, if ever.
Chris piped in, "You could do so much better, man."
Jared stared as his bottle of beer. "He'd flip if I left him. I'm afraid he'd hurt somebody."
"And he's not already hurting you?" Chad snorted. "I may play dumb to get the ladies, but I see what's been going on. And you haven't smiled much in the last year or so. What happened? Did your big belly laugh go into retirement?"
"Things change," Jared knew it was a flimsy excuse. "I had to grow up sometime."
"Grow up, not become a mindless robot," Chris didn't pull any punches. "Adults are still allowed to be happy, and I don't think you are."
After sitting in silence, pondering the question, Jared whispered, "I'm not happy."
"Then let's fix it," Chad seemed way too awake for the late hour. "You can move in here with me until you can get on your feet."
"What about Connor?"
"What about him? We'll leave Chris to handle that particular issue."
Chris smiled, "Sounds good to me."
It all seemed to be going too fast. Still, it was a direction Jared had known he'd needed to take for a long time. He just needed his friends' support and encouragement to go through with it.
"Okay. When?" Jared asked.
"How about you just don't go home? I'll go grab your stuff and Chris will help me pack and move it."
"I'm sure Steve would love to help. He's hated Connor since the day he met him." Chris was already dialing his cell.
"This way you won't have to do anything," Chad comforted Jared. "Just stay here and we'll handle it for you. You made the big decision. That was the hard part. Let us handle all the details."
Jared nodded, surprised that he was agreeing so quickly. Had he wanted out even more than he'd admitted to himself?
***
All did not go smooth. Connor showed when the three men were moving Jared's boxes out to Chris's truck.
"What the fuck is going on?" His face was red as he charged toward Chris. Bad move.
"Jared's moving out," Steve spoke up behind Chris.
"The hell he is!"
Chris slugged the guy and laid him out cold. "I've always wanted to do that."
"I wasn't going to stop you," Steve replied.
Chad heard the commotion and came out to the front lawn. "Great. Something really cool happens and I miss it. Who hit him, you or Chris?" he asked Steve.
"Chris."
Giving a hoot, Chad said, "At least I know he gave it to the fucker good. Anyone think less of me if I kick him while he's down?"
"Be my guest," Chris stepped around him to get back to the house. "Then, get your ass back to shuffling boxes. He won't be out forever."
Years of anger built up in Chad and he let it go in one swift kick. He hurt his toes, but it was worth it.
***
They came home from their trip victorious, but Jared could tell something was wrong. "Why's Chad walking funny?"
"His own stupidity," Chris replied nonchalantly as he walked past with a box.
When they were all moved in and the four men were having a couple beers to wind down, Jared asked Chad what had happened. The guy looked around for support but Steve had found his own feet terribly interesting and Chris must have developed x-ray vision if he was that intent on seeing through the wall.
"Connor came home," Chad said. "He must have wanted to start something, Chris ended it and I kicked him a little after the fact. Hurt my foot."
"Was he okay?" Jared demanded.
"We didn't stick around to find out. Thought he might wake up pissed and call the cops or something."
Jared sat there silently, imagining all the things Connor could have done to his friends. Maybe he was just finally waking up to the whole mess, but he was glad to be out of that house.
***
After having enough of Chad’s house imitating a teenager’s bedroom, Jared moved in with Chris and Steve . While living there, he met Jensen, a friend of both Chris and Steve. He seemed to be charming but Jared wasn’t interested in anyone. He decided that being alone was a good thing because then no one could hurt him as Connor did.
“You should really give Jensen a chance,” Steve told Jared one night while they were doing dishes. “He’s a nice guy, I promise.”
“I’m sure he is,” Jared agreed. “If I was looking to date anyone, I might give him a chance. But, I just want to be on my own for awhile, figure out who I am besides Connor’s other half.”
Steve nodded and didn’t bring it up again.
***
“I’m thinking of going back to school,” Jared told his friends. “I’ve always liked animals and I’d be good at helping them.”
“Yeah, you would,” Steve nodded.
“Wouldn’t it be smart to shadow someone before going through all the schooling? Just in case it isn’t exactly the position you’d want?” Jared missed the gleam in Chris’s eye. Steve, however, was much more perceptive and gave Chris an ugly look.
“That sounds like a good idea. I suppose I should go through the Yellow Pages and start calling around tomorrow to find someone who is willing to give me experience.”
“I already know of a place,” Chris said too quickly and it almost raised Jared’s suspicions.
“Really?”
“Yep. Downtown Animal Shelter is always looking for volunteers. You could just show up and they’d probably show you around and put you to work.. Tell them you’re there to see Dr. A.”
“Dr. A? Doesn’t the doctor have a last name?”
“I’m sure they do but the crew at the shelter is pretty informal.”
Nothing sounded odd to Jared. He went to bed pumped about going to the shelter the next day. Chris couldn’t help but smile when he’d closed his bedroom door. In the other bedroom, Steve worried that Chris’s plan was going to blow up in his face.
***
“I’m here to volunteer,” Jared told the pretty lady behind the reception desk. “I had a friend tell me to ask for Dr. A?”
“Sure. Have a seat and I’ll let him know he has a visitor.”
Jared sat down and looked at the variety of animals around him. Some had fur while others had feathers or scales.
“Hi, I’m Dr. A. I hear you’re here to volunteer?”
There was no mistaking the man standing before him. “Jensen?”
“Jared? Wow. I didn’t expect to see you.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you worked here. Chris must be laughing his ass off about now.”
“This was Chris’s idea?” Jensen looked so confused that Jared knew he hadn’t been in on it. “Did you really want to help out? We could always use an extra set of hands.”
It was the shelter Jensen worked at, but it was still a place where Jared could decide what he wanted to do for college. That part hadn’t changed. “Yeah, I still want to be here.”
“Great!” Jensen’s face lit up. “Follow me and I’ll show you the place.”
Jared told himself that he was better off alone but Jensen eroded that idea little by little with all the nice things he’d do. It didn’t matter if it was teaching a kid about their pet, taking care of a wounded animal or playing with a puppy, his goodness came through.
“How was your first day?” Chris had been waiting for the door to open. He’d been expecting a call from an irate Jensen or Jared. When that didn’t happen, he knew he had to have the details.
“Thanks for the warning.” Jared said sarcastically as he walked past him.
“Come on. I really want to know.”
“I bet you do.”
“Okay, I’m sorry. Well, I’m really not because there was no other way to get the two of you together. How’d it go?”
“I learned a lot.”
“And?”
“Nothing. It was very educational.”
Chris got frustrated with tight-lipped Jared and went to call Jensen to get his side of the story. When, to his surprise, Jensen clammed up, too.
***
It took time, lots of time. Many tiny steps made in the company of creatures who didn’t understand the reason for the tension in the room. After bonding over another patient/boarder, Jensen finally had Jared talked into supper.
Jared was so nervous while waiting for Jensen to pick him up. He ran to the bathroom, thinking he was going to puke.
“It’s going to go fine, you know,” Steve leaned against the doorway. “I know you’re nervous but there is nothing to worry about. The Jensen who is currently waiting in our living room is the same one you’ve seen at work many times.”
Playing it over in his head, Jared got a clue. He quickly stood up and tried to make himself look better in the mirror. “He’s already here? He probably heard me gagging.”
“He works with animals that cover him in puke, shit and pee every single day. I highly doubt a little gagging is going to turn him off.” With those words of wisdom, Steve disappeared and Jared had to talk himself into leaving the tiny room.
“Ready to go?” Jensen asked, smiling, like he hadn’t heard a thing.
“Yes. Thanks for picking me up.”
“No problem.”
Once they were at their table and started talking, Jared’s stomach settled and he realized that he was actually hungry. He’d been afraid that he wouldn’t be able to eat or that they would run out of things to talk about since they saw each other almost every day. That was not the case. They noticed the time when the waitress told them that they needed to leave so they could close up.
Regretfully, Jared told Jensen goodbye and hoped that he had enjoyed the date as much as Jared had.
***
After one particularly stressful day when they’d had to put two dogs down, Jensen invited Jared to his house for supper. Part of Jared was a little leery about going to Jensen’s home and the other part was curious and wanted to see where Jensen lived.
The house was modest and well-kept. Inside, it was simple and neat, uncluttered and open. The sound of nails skidding to a stop on the tile caught Jared’s attention.
“Bruiser!” Jensen dropped to his knees and scratched the dog’s ears. “How’ve you been today, buddy? Ready to go outside?”
After a couple sniffs in Jared’s direction, the dog obediently followed Jensen to the patio door. It led to a large fenced in yard. “There you go,” Jensen tossed a ball out the door and Bruiser bolted after it.
Jared stepped up to watch the dog bounce and play. “You never told me you had a dog.”
“One of the hazards of working at the shelter. He came to us in rough shape. When we had him nursed back to health, he had no home and I’d grown so used to having him around that it just seemed right to keep him. I’ve been tempted many times since then to bring other animals home but always remind myself that I don’t want to be outnumbered by the critters in my own home.”
After laughing, Jared said, “I really needed that after today.”
“I know. At least they aren’t suffering. Still, those sad eyes get me every time,” Jensen got choked up.
“I don’t think I could ever get used to it,” Jared admitted.
Jensen put an arm around the taller man. “You might learn to keep a professional distance, but I doubt you could get used to it. If you only did it for the money, maybe, but you’d have your heart in it. Anyway, who wants their goal to be cold and disconnected? Not me.”
“Me, neither.” Jared lied. Sometimes it would be easier not to care as far as Connor was concerned. Jared leaned into Jensen. He’d never told Jensen about Connor and didn’t know if Chris or Steve had clued him in. “Didn’t you promise to cook me something to eat?”
“Oh, no,” Jensen corrected. “I invited you over for dinner. I never said I was cooking. There is a pile of take-out menus on the counter. Just pick one. I like them all.”
Jared could have asked why they didn’t just go out to eat, but realized that Jensen probably needed to see his dog as soon as possible after his work day. Bruiser had lightened Jared’s mood, too.
***
Three months later, Jared found himself sitting naked in Jensen’s bed with only a couple butterflies in his stomach.
Jensen’s lips pressed against his and his tongue sought entrance. Jared slowly tangled with Jensen and soaked in the affection the older man was showering with. His hands were clamped on Jensen’s shoulders as he tried to keep his balance. Jensen’s fingers ran through Jared’s long locks.
Heart rates rose and breaths began to turn into pants. Palms skimmed exposed skin, causing goose bumps to appear. Instead of feeling timid around Jensen, he wanted to know how Jensen would be different than his relations with Connor. He knew Jensen would be much better to him, he just wondered how.
“I want to lie you down,” Jensen whispered in his ear. “I want to run my fingers all over you.”
Blushing a little, Jared reclined and felt Jensen’s eyes on him. Jensen knelt on the edge of the bed and crawled toward Jared. He laid down beside him and let his digits dance along Jared’s skin. When they skittered on his ribs, Jared squirmed. He was biting his lip, trying not to laugh.
“Little ticklish?”
“Yeah!” Jared’s giggles escaped when he couldn’t hold them in any longer.
“I’ll have to remember that.”
Jared reached for Jensen and pulled his face closer to his. Jensen teased him with little nips and quickly moving away. Jared huffed and Jensen smirked. He was done playing with Jared. They both knew the direction the night was heading.
Slow, sweaty bodies rubbed together and pulled the most wonderful sounds from their lips. It was pure want, need and love, even if they hadn’t spoken the words just quite yet.
Exhausted and asleep, Jared wasn’t sure what was going on. He opened his eyelids slowly and found that Jensen was kissing his way down Jared’s stomach, clearly on a mission further south.
“Jensen!” Jared bolted upright and nearly kneed Jensen in the chin with his sudden movement.
“What’s wrong?” Jensen moved out of the way of the churning limbs as Jared moved to sit up with his back against the headboard. “What did I do?”
“You surprised me,” Jared’s face was beet red. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Okay,” Jensen wasn’t quite convinced. “What else do I need to know?”
All along, Jared had known that he’d have to tell Jensen the bare minimum about his marriage. “Connor didn’t . . .”
“So you’re not into oral, that’s not a problem. I enjoy giving it to you.”
“Connor never did.”
“Wait. You were together for years. Since you didn’t say that you were against giving pleasure, I have to assume that with Connor it was a one-way street. He liked it and didn’t reciprocate?”
“He guilted me into it. Knew I would just cave when he ignored me for days on end.”
“That’s cold.”
Jared shrugged. “Just telling you how it was.”
“It won’t be that way anymore,” Jensen promised as he gently caressed his lips against Jared’s. “No one is going to be ignored, pressured or guilted into anything at all. Just because we desire to, okay?”
Nodding, a few tears slid down Jared’s cheeks. Jensen was quick to wipe them away.
“I don’t know exactly what happened in your marriage, and I don’t need to. I do know that you weren’t treated right, and I aim to fix that. Anything, anything at all makes you uncomfortable, say something. If my irritating habits get to be to much, remind me. There’s no reason for you to be miserable in any relationship.”
They spent the day in bed, kissing, touching, exploring, learning as much as they could about each other and their bodies.
***
“Did you ever think you’d be here?” Steve laughed softly.
“I don’t know, man,” Jared’s hands were shaking. “I never thought I’d get married again, but I can’t picture Jensen and I any other way.”
“You’ve been acting like you were married long before now. It’s like nothing will change. I wonder if Chris is keeping Jensen sane.”
“Probably getting him drunk,” Jared laughed a little. “Seems to be his answer to almost any problem.”
“Yeah, he won’t let him have too much, though. He won’t let Jensen puke at the altar.”
“That’s good.”
***
“Do you think Steve has kept Jared inside the building?”
“You’re doing a great job at keeping me calm, Chris,” Jensen told him sarcastically.
“Dude, I’m just saying--”
“I hear what you’ve been saying.” A quick glance at his watch told him that it was time to get the show on the road. “You and Steve need to get the girls and be up at that altar.”
“Okay, okay.” Chris gave him a very manly hug. “I’ll see you up there.”
***
Their ceremony was beautiful. Lots of wet eyes were in the crowd when they gave their vows that they wrote themselves. The grooms were teary, which was expected. Chris wiped at his eyes and tried to make it look like his allergies were acting up. Steve elbowed him in the side and chuckled at him. Chris sent him a death glare.
The dance was full of energy and love. Chris and his lady weren’t shy out on the dance floor. Jared thought they’d have to get a room soon and if they didn’t figure it out themselves, Steve would make the suggestion to them. Steve’s date was very nice and pretty, but didn’t do public displays of affection except for when she’d lay her head on his shoulder when they slow danced.
“Do you think our wedding was a success?” Jensen asked from beside Jared, looking out at the crowd.
“Well, we’re married, so I guess so.”
“Everyone seems to be having fun. Chris is having too much fun, but that’s not odd for him. You should know that, being his friend and all.”
“He’s your friend, too!” Jared smiled.
“No, I only claim him half the time. Sometimes I just want to leave him behind because he embarrasses me so much.”
“That’s not nice!”
“Neither is going to jail for pissing outside while drunk. He got arrested and somehow got me wound up in the whole thing just because I was there. Apparently, he didn’t want to sit alone in the cell. We had to beg Steve to come bail us out.”
“Steve does seem the most responsible.”
“Think he’ll get married next?”
Jared thought a moment. “Steve will get married next but Chris might be the first daddy.”
“I can’t argue with that.”
Deciding they had to get back to their guests, they held hands and mingled.
***
There were so many differences between Jared’s marriages. With Connor, everything in the house fell to him to do and Connor always punished him for doing it wrong. He got pleasure out of Jared’s pain and confusion. His controlling ways had shown through at such a slow speed that Jared didn’t even notice until it was a huge problem.
With him and Jensen, they were equals. Jensen had household chores that he liked better than cooking, and Jared found that he actually liked cooking for a husband that appreciated it. He didn’t go back to school but got a job at the shelter instead. It wasn’t big bucks but he loved it.
For a wedding present, Jensen got Jared a yellow lab from the shelter. It was still just a pup and needed lots of attention. Jared loved her and Jensen or giving the dog to him. Bella got along with Bruiser, or at least he tolerated her. She was always after him to play.
There were nights spent outside with the dogs, drinking beer under the stars, making plans for their future. Neither of them knowing that their time together like that was limited.
***
Jensen left the shelter early for a meeting elsewhere in the city. They closed early on Wednesdays to make up for the hours they were open on the weekends. The rest of the staff was gone, but Jared had stayed. He was in no hurry to go home since Jensen wouldn’t be there. He took some extra time to play with the puppies.
The yipping and barking was so loud that he never knew what happened that caused his world to go black.
***
“Jared? Open your eyes, babe.”
Opening his eyes, Jared squinted against the light when he tried to focus on the blurry image in front of him.
“I’ve been so worried! I’ve already paged the nurse. How are you feeling?”
“Huh?” He croaked as he looked at the stranger in front of him. He handed Jared a cup of water. Jared didn’t think the man was dangerous, so he took a sip. “Who are you?”
The other man almost dropped the glass. “Me? I’m Jensen, your husband.”
Jared’s face screwed up. “You’re not my husband. Where’s Connor?”
“Connor?”
“My husband!” Jared was agitated. “I don’t know you! Where is my husband!”
A calm nurse bustled in. “Nice to see you’re awake, Mr. Ackles-Padalecki.”
“What did you call me? My name is Jared Padalecki. Where is my husband at?”
She looked to Jensen for a hint as to what was going on.
“He doesn’t remember me,” he explained softly.
“Remember you? How can I do that since I’ve never met you!”
“Mr. Ack-” The nurse quickly corrected herself, “Jared, you need to relax. All this excitement isn’t good for you.”
Still upset, Jensen moved toward him to try to comfort him, which made it worse. Jared was in danger of tearing out his IV lines. The nurse held Jared’s arms down and asked Jensen to leave the room.
“What?” Jensen had been sitting by Jared’s bed or a whole week. Now that he finally woke up, they were making him leave?
“Go into the hall,” she said. “I’ll find you later.”
Reluctantly, he cast one last glance over his shoulder as he closed the door behind him. Then, he saw Jared’s doctor at the nurses’ station.
“Dr. Misha?” Jensen approached him. “Jared woke and doesn’t remember me.”
“Amnesia can be common,” the doctor said as he turned his full attention to Jensen.
“He wants his ex-husband. That man abused Jared something awful. I’ve never heard one good thing about Connor. How can he want to see the man who made his life hell?”
“There was something positive about Connor at some time. That must be where Jared’s memory is.”
“How do we get it to the present?”
“We have to start where he is and work from there. Do you know how to contact Connor? Maybe he could come visit Jared and make his memory progress further.”
“I’ve never met Connor and I’ve never wanted to. I don’t know how to get in touch with him.”
“We can look back in Jared’s records to find some contact information.”
“Knowing how this man was to Jared, how long it took for Jared to get to be the man he is now, you’re going to put him in the same room as him?”
“Right now, that’s who Jared trusts. We’ll keep a close eye on their interactions. I don’t want to put him in a dangerous situation.”
“Can I be in the room with them?”
Dr. Misha shook his head. “You need to work on building you own relationship with Jared. He doesn’t feel married to you. Treat him as if you just started dating, allow him to get used to you. Anything can trigger a memory. If you get tired of waiting for him to remember you, divorce is always a possibility.”
“I’d never divorce Jared! I love him.”
“I know you do. I’m just telling you that you have an out if it gets too painful for you. I’m going to see how Jared is doing. I’ll talk to you more after I see him.”
***
Chris and Steve were standing with Jensen when Connor strolled down the hall. The man was crazy enough to smile at the men on his way by. Jensen almost had to be held back. He wanted to dole out all the punishment Jared had taken from Connor over the years. The only comfort he had was that Chad was in the room with Jared, and he wasn’t going to let Connor get out of line.
“Connor!” Jared’s face lit up and he opened his arms to the sweet man what he remembered from their early years.
“Jared!” Connor returned the hug, glad to have his possession back in his grasp.
Chad’s stomach rolled as he saw Jared’s happiness and Connor’s calculating look. He wanted to push the monster out of the room but didn’t want to hinder Jared’s progress.
***
Jensen was forced to go back to work. There were always animals that needed help and he had time on his hands since he had to keep his visits with Jared brief. They had a very tentative friendship. Jared still didn’t trust him but realized that Jensen was truly his husband, and that made him at least want to hear what Jensen had to say.
“How’s Jared doing?” the receptionist asked Jensen one morning. “Is he getting any better?”
“He still doesn’t remember me. But, I think he likes me. That’s an improvement over him just tolerating my visits.”
“There’s no way he cannot remember you, Dr. A. What you two have is too unique to be forgotten. You’re soul mates.”
He gave her a small smile. “I hope so.”
***
Dr. Misha called Jensen at work to tell him that Jared was going to be discharged.
“When? Are you sure he’s well enough?”
“Physically, he’s fine. His memory may or may not return. He’s going to meet with our psychologist three times a week to make sure he’s adjusting.”
“I haven’t been able to convince him to come home with me yet,” Jensen voiced his worries. “Connor is still playing the part of the perfect husband. I don’t want him around Jared.”
“Jared has said that he wants to go home with Connor. It’s the house that he remembers. As his husband, you can try to keep him from living with Connor but that might not be smart if your main goal is to reunite with him. You can’t force him to trust you.”
“I know.”
“The visits with the doctor will check his well being. I would still encourage frequent visits with you to try to get him to remember.”
“I’m not leaving him, Doc. I’ll give him room but I’m not leaving.”
“I know that.”
***
“Jensen! What are you doing here?” Connor blocked the front door.
“I’ve come to visit Jared.”
“He’s busy.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m allowed to visit him. I’m his husband.”
“You’re the only one that thinks that,” Connor scoffed. “You’re not the one he’s having husbandly relations with.”
Anger flashed in Jensen’s eyes and Connor gave him an evil smile, knowing he’d hit a sore spot.
“Thought I heard the door,” Jared appeared behind Connor, confused. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Connor kissed Jared’s cheek as he walked past, back into the house.
“Jensen?” Jared’s voice was shaky.
It took a moment for Jensen to gather himself after seeing that kiss. “Hey, Jared,” he forced a smile on his face. “I have a surprise for you today, if you feel up to it.”
“Surprise? Sure.” Jared’s dimples showed up or the first time in Jensen’s presence since before he was hospitalized.
After being at home for a week, Jensen noticed that Jared was more trusting of him. It was as if giving Jared the home that he knew made him more willing to let in others that he couldn’t recall.
They pulled in Jensen’s driveway, and he’d hoped that Jared would recognize the house. No such luck. They went inside and Jared spied their wedding pictures on the wall.
“When did we get married?” he asked.
“A year and a half ago,” Jensen stood close by. “You told Chad he could only be in the wedding if he was a ring bearer since that’s the age he acts.”
“I wouldn’t be that cruel.”
“You meant it as a joke. As a consolation, he was in charge of our bachelor party.”
“How’d that go?”
“He got us female strippers.”
Jared chuckled. “He didn’t.”
“Yep, he did. Later in the evening, he brought the men out, but he had the women for Chad, Chris and Steve’s enjoyment.”
“I wish I could remember that.”
“Maybe one day you will.”
Jared went quiet.
“You haven’t seen your surprise yet,” Jensen nudged Jared with his shoulder. “Come this way.”
Jared smiled as he followed Jensen through the kitchen. They stepped out the patio door where Bruiser and Bella were bouncing and playing in the yard. When they saw their owners, they bolted to the house.
“Whoa, whoa!” Jensen tried to shield Jared from a little of their excitement. “They sure are happy to see you. The big one is Bruiser and the other is Belle. I bought her for you.”
Jared knelt down and let the young dog lick his face. He giggled a little as he patted her fur.
When they were back inside and the dogs were lounging around the house, Jensen asked, “Does anything seem familiar?”
“I remember how much I like dogs.”
“You actually work at the shelter with me, or at least you did. You were playing with the dogs when someone broke in and knocked you over the head. That’s how you landed in the hospital.”
“Did they catch who did it?”
“Nope. They’re still looking. I feel guilty as hell that I wasn’t there when they broke in. I was at a damn meeting.”
“It’s not your fault. You have nothing to feel guilty about.”
“Thanks for saying that, but it won’t make it go away.”
“Maybe one day it will. You never know.” Jared tried to extend warmth and kindness to a man who had only ever been nice to him. Even when Jared was less than friendly, Jensen didn’t run away.
***
“I think I should go back to work at the shelter,” Jared stated one morning during breakfast.
“No.”
“What do you mean, ‘no’?”
“Just what I said. No.” Connor’s voice was stern. “I don’t think you’re well enough to go to work. Besides, if you’re feeling good enough to think about that, you could pick up this dump. You’ve seriously been slacking.”
“Oh,” Jared was quiet. He instantly felt bad, thinking he was being a lousy husband.
Connor hid his smirk behind his coffee cup. It had paid to keep tabs on Jared and have him hurt. Now, he had Jared once more in his control.
***
During Jared’s second visit to Jensen’s house, Jensen told him that he could take Bella home with him.
“Really?”
“Well, yeah. She’s yours. I picked up the supplies you’ll need. You loved her so much and she should be with you.”
“Oh, thank you!” Jared flung himself toward Jensen and gave him a bear hug. “Of course I want her at home.”
Jensen’s eyes watered at the thought of Jared in his arms calling another place home.
After that visit, Jared and Jensen talked on the phone almost daily. Most of it was canine related, but Jensen was just glad to have Jared in his life at all. He worried because Jared hadn’t returned to work, but decided that it wasn’t any of his business. Maybe Jared felt too uncomfortable around him and other folks there that he didn’t remember.
Dr. Misha assured him that Jared was keeping his appointments and had been doing so well that he was down to once a week. There was nothing that could be done about the memory that he’d lost, but he was making new memories and remembering them.
***
“Jensen!”
He heard Jared scream for him and raced in that direction. Jared held Bella in her arms. Her body was limp. Jensen took the beloved dog from Jared and took her right to the emergency/surgery part of the shelter. Jared was right behind, wiping away tears.
“What happened?” Jensen asked as he checked her over.
“I don’t know. She was fine this morning. She played outside and ate. I was in another room and when I came back, she was just lying on the floor. I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go.”
“You did good bringing her here, Jared.” Jensen tried to sound extra calm as he noticed signs of poisoning. What if Jared had screwed up feeding her? How could he tell Jared that he’d killed his own dog? “Looks like she might have gotten into something. Do you have any poisonous plants at your house?”
“No. I doggy-proofed our house the day I brought her home. You gave me that book, remember?”
Thinking back, Jensen did remember the beginner’s manual for dog care. It was all the basic information to keep them healthy and safe.
“Was anything different in the last twelve hours? Did she play in an area of the yard that she usually doesn’t? Did you treat your lawn?”
“No.” Jared was quiet as he thought through his day and watched Jensen intently. “When I was in the shower, she’d spilled her water and Connor gave her more.”
“He did? How’s he been liking Belle?” Jensen’s suspicions were getting the best of him.
“Oh, they’re still adjusting to each other,” Jared’s face turned red. “He likes having his house a certain way and dog hair is definitely unwelcome.”
“Has something happened recently to make him madder than usual?”
Silence.
“Jared?” Jensen stopped what he was doing and looked at the forlorn man across the examining table. “I’m going to take a blood sample and start an IV. Then, I’ll need you to sit with Belle, okay? Just yell if you need anything. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
The big man nodded and bent over the table, sobbing into Belle’s soft coat. “I’m so sorry, Belle. I’m so sorry . . .”
Jensen knew that he was going to find that Belle had been poisoned. It didn’t make it any easier to get those results, though. It was the kind of poison that he couldn’t treat her for. Her organs would just slowly shut down.
“You can’t make her better?”
“I can’t, Jared. She’s ingested a poison. It’s not one I can treat the side effects of. It’s always fatal.”
“She’s going to die?” Jared looked at Jensen with tear-filled eyes. “How will it happen?”
“Her organs will shut down, one after another, until she’s unable to keep functioning.”
“Will it hurt?”
“I don’t know, Jared. We could give her medicine for the pain or we could just let her go.”
“You mean kill her?”
“No,” Jensen had Jared sit on the stool near the exam table. Then, he knelt down so he could look him in the eye. He put a hand on his shoulder as he tried not to cry along with Jared. “She would get drowsy, fall asleep, and not wake up. It doesn’t hurt and it’s quick.”
“Is that what you’d do if it was Bruiser?”
Jensen nodded. He was surprised when Jared grabbed the hand Jensen had placed on his shoulder.
“Can I stay with her?”
“Yes.”
Jared squeezed his hand and looked at his lap as he asked a question and was unsure of the answer. “Will you stay with me?”
Unable to hold tears back anymore, Jensen replied, “I’ll be here as long as you need me.”
Nodding, Jared looked at Belle. “You won’t do it until I’m ready.”
“Of course not.”
“I need to talk to Belle,” Jared stood on shaky legs and clung to his furry companion as he whispered in her ear.
Jensen quickly gathered what he’d need and joined Jared, stroking the pup he’d so lovingly selected for his husband. He silently said his goodbyes.
“Whenever you’re ready.”
Wiping at his face, Jared tried to be brave. “You need to tell her goodbye. You loved her, too.”
“Yes, I did.” Jensen murmured some words in Belle’s ear and stood back up. “Ready?”
“No, but I guess I have to be. I can just hold her, right?”
“As long as you want to. I’ll be right here.” Jensen injected the medication and then moved so he could put an arm around Jared. “She won’t hurt anymore, Jared. She’ll be okay.”
“I won’t,” was Jared’s muffled reply.
Jensen’s heart broke right along with his.
***
“I can’t believe he killed her,” Jared said after they’d buried Belle.
“Connor?” Jensen tried to keep his question innocent and not let his anger bleed through.
“He’d threatened me, but I never thought he was evil.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’d complained about dog hair on his suits, Belle needing to be tended to and said the house smelled. I can’t remember what it was I did, exactly, that made him so mad. He’d yelled at me that I was going to regret it, and I thought it was just one of his usual rants.”
“Jared, how did you think he was going to make you regret it?”
The younger man shut up and stared out the window, blush coloring his cheeks.
“I don’t want you to go back there.”
Jared looked at Jensen as if those were the last words he’d expected to hear from him.
“I can’t make you stay. I won’t press the issue because when you come back to me it needs to be on your terms. I’ll bring you back to Connor’s if that’s what you really want.”
“He took Belle away because I loved her,” Jared explained. “I don’t want to live there. But, everything I own is there.”
“No, it isn’t.” Jensen corrected him. “I’d brought some of your belongings to you but I kept the most important ones here. I didn’t trust Connor.”
“Why not?”
“He’s been cruel to you before. I would have tried to tell you about it after you woke up, but since I was some guy you didn’t know, you wouldn’t have believed me.”
“Connor wasn’t as I’d remembered him. I kept telling myself that it was me that had changed.”
“No, he’s always had that hatred. He just hid it well. There was a reason you left the first time.”
“You’d welcome me back? Let me stay?”
“Of course. You’re still my husband.”
Jared seemed shocked. “I would have thought--I mean--didn’t you file for divorce? It’s been quite some time that I’ve been living with Connor.”
“I swore I’d be by you through sickness and health. That’s what losing your memory was. I always knew I wouldn’t quit trying to get you back. To me, it was just a matter of time.”
Jared was so relived. Somewhere inside, he knew what it was that attracted him to Jensen the first time--his quiet, loving, compassionate ways.
There, in the kitchen, Jensen allowed Jared to hug him. It took a second for it to sink in that he was finally holding Jared in his arms. When it did, he held on tight, knowing Jared was back for good.
Author/Artist: my_sam_dean
Character/Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Fandom: Real Person Fiction
Theme: 11 - animal
Dislcaimer: I don't know them. This never happened. It's totally fiction.
Connor slammed the door so hard that it rattled on its hinges. The vehicle door got the same treatment before squealing tires carried him out onto the street. When the sound of the engine faded away, Jared knew he was gone.
Broken dishes scattered the kitchen floor. Connor had not been pleased with Jared's meal choices. All that stoneware was broken in what equaled a temper tantrum. Jared slid the trashcan to the largest grouping and started cleaning up.
Jared remembered the harsh words Connor had thrown at him before he took his frustration out on the plates. Your mama must have dropped you on your head or are you just naturally this stupid? You know I don't like spaghetti and yet you've made a casserole that is basically just that. Do you need to be punished to remember not to do this again? I think you do. *smack* Oh, big baby Jared, you going to cry now? Come on, give me some of those tears!
Unchecked drops slid down Jared's face as he tried to look for some resemblance in the monster of today with the boy he fell in love with in high school. He couldn't find any similarities.
****
(Flashback begins)
"Hey, Jared. We still on for Friday night?" Connor's blue eyes sparkled with excitement.
"Yeah," Jared stuffed a couple books into his bag. "I've got two nights to get all my homework done. If my folks don't think there's much assigned on Friday, I can go. What movie did you want to see again?"
Connor smiled. "Whatever. We don't usually watch the movie anyway."
"Connor," Jared scolded as he blushed. "Someone could hear you."
"Someone could see us at the theater and you don't seem too worried about that."
Connor had a point. Jared's brain seemed to shut off when hormones kicked in. He knew he needed to keep a level head but Connor wasn't helping either. He kept pushing the envelope for public displays of affection. While everyone knew Connor was gay, Jared's family still had the hope that he'd find a nice girl to marry and have a passel of grandkids.
"Maybe I don't want to go out with you on Friday," Jared flirted. "I bet if I asked around, I could get a better offer." Jared had no clue that he'd stuck a chord with Connor, that his jealousy streak would cause him great pains one day.
With his face totally blank, Connor replied, "Go ahead. See if I care." He turned on his heel and walked away.
Jared was stunned for a moment and then took off after Connor, grabbing his arm. As soon as Jared touched him, Connor swung. He put all he had into a punch that connected with Jared's eye.
"Jared? You can't just jerk someone around like that. I'm sorry. It was just reflex."
From his position on the floor, Jared was certain of the pain he saw in Connor's eyes. After all, who is to say that he wouldn't strike out if approached from behind?
They had their usual Friday date at the movies. Seated in the back row, they were among other kids who also had not come for the movie. The kissing and moans would have made it impossible for any of them to hear the movie. The real customers, they sat in the front half of the theater because they knew what went on in the back.
"Jared," Connor's hot breath made Jared's skin goose bump with anticipation. "I'm not wearing any underwear. Are you?"
"Yeah," Jared chuckled a little. "Isn't it uncomfortable hanging free in your jeans?"
"It makes this so much easier," Connor unzipped his pants and pulled himself out.
"Put that away! Someone will see."
"Who? It's like we're in the middle of an orgy. Nobody cares." Connor released the button on Jared's jeans and pulled the zipper down. When he edged Jared's jeans and underwear over his hips, Jared realized exactly how exposed he was.
"I can't be naked like this."
Connor kissed the rest of his words out of his mouth. He held their cocks together and stroked them both at the same time. "Guess you'll remember to forget the underwear at home next time," Connor whispered in Jared's ear as Jared's mind stuttered and shut off.
They were seniors when they told their folks they were getting married. Neither set of parents was happy. Connor turned 18 before Jared did, so they planned to go down to the courthouse on Jared's 18th birthday. They'd still have a couple months of school left, but they'd be able to finish without much of a fuss.
Even some of their friends tried to talk them out of it. Mostly, Jared's friends were concerned about him and didn't really trust Connor with their friend. The more they tried to tell Jared, the more he defended Connor. So, resigned to the fact that they'd done all they could, they were at the courthouse for the marriage. Siblings and parents were also there. The mothers cried, as was expected, but the fathers just looked pissed.
They had their own apartment. It was tiny but it was theirs. There was only one car between the two of them but they couldn't have afforded a second car anyway.
At first, the shiny gold bands on their fingers attracted lots of attention. As time went on, they weren't so interesting anymore. The crowd moved on to other topics of conversation.
Their nights were steamy and they overslept some mornings. Teachers were disgusted with their academic behavior because they'd both been such good students in the past. They tried to cut the couple a little slack, remembering what it was like to be newlyweds, but eventually the principal had to step in. He laid down the law and the boys abided by it, even if they hadn't been to sleep yet when the sun rose.
The feeling of walking across the stage to get their diplomas was definitely worth it.
(Flashback over)
***
With all the pieces picked up, Jared mopped the floor to catch any small shards. Connor hadn't been gone all that long. After he put the mop and bucket away, he called his friend, Chad.
"Yup!"
"That's how you answer your phone?" Jared laughed.
"I recognized the number. So, what's up, dude?"
"Connor just threw a fit and left."
"Did you yell back at him?"
"No."
"You've got to learn to do that, Jared. Can't let him walk all over you."
"I know, I know. I just don't feel like being here when he gets some tonight. Would you like some company?"
"Sure, man. Bring over some brews and we'll watch the game."
A weight lifted from Jared's shoulders as he threw a few items in a bag and left their house. He had loved the house so much in the beginning and now saw it as a prison.
***
"You could leave him you know," Chad was the voice of reason and that happened rarely, if ever.
Chris piped in, "You could do so much better, man."
Jared stared as his bottle of beer. "He'd flip if I left him. I'm afraid he'd hurt somebody."
"And he's not already hurting you?" Chad snorted. "I may play dumb to get the ladies, but I see what's been going on. And you haven't smiled much in the last year or so. What happened? Did your big belly laugh go into retirement?"
"Things change," Jared knew it was a flimsy excuse. "I had to grow up sometime."
"Grow up, not become a mindless robot," Chris didn't pull any punches. "Adults are still allowed to be happy, and I don't think you are."
After sitting in silence, pondering the question, Jared whispered, "I'm not happy."
"Then let's fix it," Chad seemed way too awake for the late hour. "You can move in here with me until you can get on your feet."
"What about Connor?"
"What about him? We'll leave Chris to handle that particular issue."
Chris smiled, "Sounds good to me."
It all seemed to be going too fast. Still, it was a direction Jared had known he'd needed to take for a long time. He just needed his friends' support and encouragement to go through with it.
"Okay. When?" Jared asked.
"How about you just don't go home? I'll go grab your stuff and Chris will help me pack and move it."
"I'm sure Steve would love to help. He's hated Connor since the day he met him." Chris was already dialing his cell.
"This way you won't have to do anything," Chad comforted Jared. "Just stay here and we'll handle it for you. You made the big decision. That was the hard part. Let us handle all the details."
Jared nodded, surprised that he was agreeing so quickly. Had he wanted out even more than he'd admitted to himself?
***
All did not go smooth. Connor showed when the three men were moving Jared's boxes out to Chris's truck.
"What the fuck is going on?" His face was red as he charged toward Chris. Bad move.
"Jared's moving out," Steve spoke up behind Chris.
"The hell he is!"
Chris slugged the guy and laid him out cold. "I've always wanted to do that."
"I wasn't going to stop you," Steve replied.
Chad heard the commotion and came out to the front lawn. "Great. Something really cool happens and I miss it. Who hit him, you or Chris?" he asked Steve.
"Chris."
Giving a hoot, Chad said, "At least I know he gave it to the fucker good. Anyone think less of me if I kick him while he's down?"
"Be my guest," Chris stepped around him to get back to the house. "Then, get your ass back to shuffling boxes. He won't be out forever."
Years of anger built up in Chad and he let it go in one swift kick. He hurt his toes, but it was worth it.
***
They came home from their trip victorious, but Jared could tell something was wrong. "Why's Chad walking funny?"
"His own stupidity," Chris replied nonchalantly as he walked past with a box.
When they were all moved in and the four men were having a couple beers to wind down, Jared asked Chad what had happened. The guy looked around for support but Steve had found his own feet terribly interesting and Chris must have developed x-ray vision if he was that intent on seeing through the wall.
"Connor came home," Chad said. "He must have wanted to start something, Chris ended it and I kicked him a little after the fact. Hurt my foot."
"Was he okay?" Jared demanded.
"We didn't stick around to find out. Thought he might wake up pissed and call the cops or something."
Jared sat there silently, imagining all the things Connor could have done to his friends. Maybe he was just finally waking up to the whole mess, but he was glad to be out of that house.
***
After having enough of Chad’s house imitating a teenager’s bedroom, Jared moved in with Chris and Steve . While living there, he met Jensen, a friend of both Chris and Steve. He seemed to be charming but Jared wasn’t interested in anyone. He decided that being alone was a good thing because then no one could hurt him as Connor did.
“You should really give Jensen a chance,” Steve told Jared one night while they were doing dishes. “He’s a nice guy, I promise.”
“I’m sure he is,” Jared agreed. “If I was looking to date anyone, I might give him a chance. But, I just want to be on my own for awhile, figure out who I am besides Connor’s other half.”
Steve nodded and didn’t bring it up again.
***
“I’m thinking of going back to school,” Jared told his friends. “I’ve always liked animals and I’d be good at helping them.”
“Yeah, you would,” Steve nodded.
“Wouldn’t it be smart to shadow someone before going through all the schooling? Just in case it isn’t exactly the position you’d want?” Jared missed the gleam in Chris’s eye. Steve, however, was much more perceptive and gave Chris an ugly look.
“That sounds like a good idea. I suppose I should go through the Yellow Pages and start calling around tomorrow to find someone who is willing to give me experience.”
“I already know of a place,” Chris said too quickly and it almost raised Jared’s suspicions.
“Really?”
“Yep. Downtown Animal Shelter is always looking for volunteers. You could just show up and they’d probably show you around and put you to work.. Tell them you’re there to see Dr. A.”
“Dr. A? Doesn’t the doctor have a last name?”
“I’m sure they do but the crew at the shelter is pretty informal.”
Nothing sounded odd to Jared. He went to bed pumped about going to the shelter the next day. Chris couldn’t help but smile when he’d closed his bedroom door. In the other bedroom, Steve worried that Chris’s plan was going to blow up in his face.
***
“I’m here to volunteer,” Jared told the pretty lady behind the reception desk. “I had a friend tell me to ask for Dr. A?”
“Sure. Have a seat and I’ll let him know he has a visitor.”
Jared sat down and looked at the variety of animals around him. Some had fur while others had feathers or scales.
“Hi, I’m Dr. A. I hear you’re here to volunteer?”
There was no mistaking the man standing before him. “Jensen?”
“Jared? Wow. I didn’t expect to see you.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you worked here. Chris must be laughing his ass off about now.”
“This was Chris’s idea?” Jensen looked so confused that Jared knew he hadn’t been in on it. “Did you really want to help out? We could always use an extra set of hands.”
It was the shelter Jensen worked at, but it was still a place where Jared could decide what he wanted to do for college. That part hadn’t changed. “Yeah, I still want to be here.”
“Great!” Jensen’s face lit up. “Follow me and I’ll show you the place.”
Jared told himself that he was better off alone but Jensen eroded that idea little by little with all the nice things he’d do. It didn’t matter if it was teaching a kid about their pet, taking care of a wounded animal or playing with a puppy, his goodness came through.
“How was your first day?” Chris had been waiting for the door to open. He’d been expecting a call from an irate Jensen or Jared. When that didn’t happen, he knew he had to have the details.
“Thanks for the warning.” Jared said sarcastically as he walked past him.
“Come on. I really want to know.”
“I bet you do.”
“Okay, I’m sorry. Well, I’m really not because there was no other way to get the two of you together. How’d it go?”
“I learned a lot.”
“And?”
“Nothing. It was very educational.”
Chris got frustrated with tight-lipped Jared and went to call Jensen to get his side of the story. When, to his surprise, Jensen clammed up, too.
***
It took time, lots of time. Many tiny steps made in the company of creatures who didn’t understand the reason for the tension in the room. After bonding over another patient/boarder, Jensen finally had Jared talked into supper.
Jared was so nervous while waiting for Jensen to pick him up. He ran to the bathroom, thinking he was going to puke.
“It’s going to go fine, you know,” Steve leaned against the doorway. “I know you’re nervous but there is nothing to worry about. The Jensen who is currently waiting in our living room is the same one you’ve seen at work many times.”
Playing it over in his head, Jared got a clue. He quickly stood up and tried to make himself look better in the mirror. “He’s already here? He probably heard me gagging.”
“He works with animals that cover him in puke, shit and pee every single day. I highly doubt a little gagging is going to turn him off.” With those words of wisdom, Steve disappeared and Jared had to talk himself into leaving the tiny room.
“Ready to go?” Jensen asked, smiling, like he hadn’t heard a thing.
“Yes. Thanks for picking me up.”
“No problem.”
Once they were at their table and started talking, Jared’s stomach settled and he realized that he was actually hungry. He’d been afraid that he wouldn’t be able to eat or that they would run out of things to talk about since they saw each other almost every day. That was not the case. They noticed the time when the waitress told them that they needed to leave so they could close up.
Regretfully, Jared told Jensen goodbye and hoped that he had enjoyed the date as much as Jared had.
***
After one particularly stressful day when they’d had to put two dogs down, Jensen invited Jared to his house for supper. Part of Jared was a little leery about going to Jensen’s home and the other part was curious and wanted to see where Jensen lived.
The house was modest and well-kept. Inside, it was simple and neat, uncluttered and open. The sound of nails skidding to a stop on the tile caught Jared’s attention.
“Bruiser!” Jensen dropped to his knees and scratched the dog’s ears. “How’ve you been today, buddy? Ready to go outside?”
After a couple sniffs in Jared’s direction, the dog obediently followed Jensen to the patio door. It led to a large fenced in yard. “There you go,” Jensen tossed a ball out the door and Bruiser bolted after it.
Jared stepped up to watch the dog bounce and play. “You never told me you had a dog.”
“One of the hazards of working at the shelter. He came to us in rough shape. When we had him nursed back to health, he had no home and I’d grown so used to having him around that it just seemed right to keep him. I’ve been tempted many times since then to bring other animals home but always remind myself that I don’t want to be outnumbered by the critters in my own home.”
After laughing, Jared said, “I really needed that after today.”
“I know. At least they aren’t suffering. Still, those sad eyes get me every time,” Jensen got choked up.
“I don’t think I could ever get used to it,” Jared admitted.
Jensen put an arm around the taller man. “You might learn to keep a professional distance, but I doubt you could get used to it. If you only did it for the money, maybe, but you’d have your heart in it. Anyway, who wants their goal to be cold and disconnected? Not me.”
“Me, neither.” Jared lied. Sometimes it would be easier not to care as far as Connor was concerned. Jared leaned into Jensen. He’d never told Jensen about Connor and didn’t know if Chris or Steve had clued him in. “Didn’t you promise to cook me something to eat?”
“Oh, no,” Jensen corrected. “I invited you over for dinner. I never said I was cooking. There is a pile of take-out menus on the counter. Just pick one. I like them all.”
Jared could have asked why they didn’t just go out to eat, but realized that Jensen probably needed to see his dog as soon as possible after his work day. Bruiser had lightened Jared’s mood, too.
***
Three months later, Jared found himself sitting naked in Jensen’s bed with only a couple butterflies in his stomach.
Jensen’s lips pressed against his and his tongue sought entrance. Jared slowly tangled with Jensen and soaked in the affection the older man was showering with. His hands were clamped on Jensen’s shoulders as he tried to keep his balance. Jensen’s fingers ran through Jared’s long locks.
Heart rates rose and breaths began to turn into pants. Palms skimmed exposed skin, causing goose bumps to appear. Instead of feeling timid around Jensen, he wanted to know how Jensen would be different than his relations with Connor. He knew Jensen would be much better to him, he just wondered how.
“I want to lie you down,” Jensen whispered in his ear. “I want to run my fingers all over you.”
Blushing a little, Jared reclined and felt Jensen’s eyes on him. Jensen knelt on the edge of the bed and crawled toward Jared. He laid down beside him and let his digits dance along Jared’s skin. When they skittered on his ribs, Jared squirmed. He was biting his lip, trying not to laugh.
“Little ticklish?”
“Yeah!” Jared’s giggles escaped when he couldn’t hold them in any longer.
“I’ll have to remember that.”
Jared reached for Jensen and pulled his face closer to his. Jensen teased him with little nips and quickly moving away. Jared huffed and Jensen smirked. He was done playing with Jared. They both knew the direction the night was heading.
Slow, sweaty bodies rubbed together and pulled the most wonderful sounds from their lips. It was pure want, need and love, even if they hadn’t spoken the words just quite yet.
Exhausted and asleep, Jared wasn’t sure what was going on. He opened his eyelids slowly and found that Jensen was kissing his way down Jared’s stomach, clearly on a mission further south.
“Jensen!” Jared bolted upright and nearly kneed Jensen in the chin with his sudden movement.
“What’s wrong?” Jensen moved out of the way of the churning limbs as Jared moved to sit up with his back against the headboard. “What did I do?”
“You surprised me,” Jared’s face was beet red. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Okay,” Jensen wasn’t quite convinced. “What else do I need to know?”
All along, Jared had known that he’d have to tell Jensen the bare minimum about his marriage. “Connor didn’t . . .”
“So you’re not into oral, that’s not a problem. I enjoy giving it to you.”
“Connor never did.”
“Wait. You were together for years. Since you didn’t say that you were against giving pleasure, I have to assume that with Connor it was a one-way street. He liked it and didn’t reciprocate?”
“He guilted me into it. Knew I would just cave when he ignored me for days on end.”
“That’s cold.”
Jared shrugged. “Just telling you how it was.”
“It won’t be that way anymore,” Jensen promised as he gently caressed his lips against Jared’s. “No one is going to be ignored, pressured or guilted into anything at all. Just because we desire to, okay?”
Nodding, a few tears slid down Jared’s cheeks. Jensen was quick to wipe them away.
“I don’t know exactly what happened in your marriage, and I don’t need to. I do know that you weren’t treated right, and I aim to fix that. Anything, anything at all makes you uncomfortable, say something. If my irritating habits get to be to much, remind me. There’s no reason for you to be miserable in any relationship.”
They spent the day in bed, kissing, touching, exploring, learning as much as they could about each other and their bodies.
***
“Did you ever think you’d be here?” Steve laughed softly.
“I don’t know, man,” Jared’s hands were shaking. “I never thought I’d get married again, but I can’t picture Jensen and I any other way.”
“You’ve been acting like you were married long before now. It’s like nothing will change. I wonder if Chris is keeping Jensen sane.”
“Probably getting him drunk,” Jared laughed a little. “Seems to be his answer to almost any problem.”
“Yeah, he won’t let him have too much, though. He won’t let Jensen puke at the altar.”
“That’s good.”
***
“Do you think Steve has kept Jared inside the building?”
“You’re doing a great job at keeping me calm, Chris,” Jensen told him sarcastically.
“Dude, I’m just saying--”
“I hear what you’ve been saying.” A quick glance at his watch told him that it was time to get the show on the road. “You and Steve need to get the girls and be up at that altar.”
“Okay, okay.” Chris gave him a very manly hug. “I’ll see you up there.”
***
Their ceremony was beautiful. Lots of wet eyes were in the crowd when they gave their vows that they wrote themselves. The grooms were teary, which was expected. Chris wiped at his eyes and tried to make it look like his allergies were acting up. Steve elbowed him in the side and chuckled at him. Chris sent him a death glare.
The dance was full of energy and love. Chris and his lady weren’t shy out on the dance floor. Jared thought they’d have to get a room soon and if they didn’t figure it out themselves, Steve would make the suggestion to them. Steve’s date was very nice and pretty, but didn’t do public displays of affection except for when she’d lay her head on his shoulder when they slow danced.
“Do you think our wedding was a success?” Jensen asked from beside Jared, looking out at the crowd.
“Well, we’re married, so I guess so.”
“Everyone seems to be having fun. Chris is having too much fun, but that’s not odd for him. You should know that, being his friend and all.”
“He’s your friend, too!” Jared smiled.
“No, I only claim him half the time. Sometimes I just want to leave him behind because he embarrasses me so much.”
“That’s not nice!”
“Neither is going to jail for pissing outside while drunk. He got arrested and somehow got me wound up in the whole thing just because I was there. Apparently, he didn’t want to sit alone in the cell. We had to beg Steve to come bail us out.”
“Steve does seem the most responsible.”
“Think he’ll get married next?”
Jared thought a moment. “Steve will get married next but Chris might be the first daddy.”
“I can’t argue with that.”
Deciding they had to get back to their guests, they held hands and mingled.
***
There were so many differences between Jared’s marriages. With Connor, everything in the house fell to him to do and Connor always punished him for doing it wrong. He got pleasure out of Jared’s pain and confusion. His controlling ways had shown through at such a slow speed that Jared didn’t even notice until it was a huge problem.
With him and Jensen, they were equals. Jensen had household chores that he liked better than cooking, and Jared found that he actually liked cooking for a husband that appreciated it. He didn’t go back to school but got a job at the shelter instead. It wasn’t big bucks but he loved it.
For a wedding present, Jensen got Jared a yellow lab from the shelter. It was still just a pup and needed lots of attention. Jared loved her and Jensen or giving the dog to him. Bella got along with Bruiser, or at least he tolerated her. She was always after him to play.
There were nights spent outside with the dogs, drinking beer under the stars, making plans for their future. Neither of them knowing that their time together like that was limited.
***
Jensen left the shelter early for a meeting elsewhere in the city. They closed early on Wednesdays to make up for the hours they were open on the weekends. The rest of the staff was gone, but Jared had stayed. He was in no hurry to go home since Jensen wouldn’t be there. He took some extra time to play with the puppies.
The yipping and barking was so loud that he never knew what happened that caused his world to go black.
***
“Jared? Open your eyes, babe.”
Opening his eyes, Jared squinted against the light when he tried to focus on the blurry image in front of him.
“I’ve been so worried! I’ve already paged the nurse. How are you feeling?”
“Huh?” He croaked as he looked at the stranger in front of him. He handed Jared a cup of water. Jared didn’t think the man was dangerous, so he took a sip. “Who are you?”
The other man almost dropped the glass. “Me? I’m Jensen, your husband.”
Jared’s face screwed up. “You’re not my husband. Where’s Connor?”
“Connor?”
“My husband!” Jared was agitated. “I don’t know you! Where is my husband!”
A calm nurse bustled in. “Nice to see you’re awake, Mr. Ackles-Padalecki.”
“What did you call me? My name is Jared Padalecki. Where is my husband at?”
She looked to Jensen for a hint as to what was going on.
“He doesn’t remember me,” he explained softly.
“Remember you? How can I do that since I’ve never met you!”
“Mr. Ack-” The nurse quickly corrected herself, “Jared, you need to relax. All this excitement isn’t good for you.”
Still upset, Jensen moved toward him to try to comfort him, which made it worse. Jared was in danger of tearing out his IV lines. The nurse held Jared’s arms down and asked Jensen to leave the room.
“What?” Jensen had been sitting by Jared’s bed or a whole week. Now that he finally woke up, they were making him leave?
“Go into the hall,” she said. “I’ll find you later.”
Reluctantly, he cast one last glance over his shoulder as he closed the door behind him. Then, he saw Jared’s doctor at the nurses’ station.
“Dr. Misha?” Jensen approached him. “Jared woke and doesn’t remember me.”
“Amnesia can be common,” the doctor said as he turned his full attention to Jensen.
“He wants his ex-husband. That man abused Jared something awful. I’ve never heard one good thing about Connor. How can he want to see the man who made his life hell?”
“There was something positive about Connor at some time. That must be where Jared’s memory is.”
“How do we get it to the present?”
“We have to start where he is and work from there. Do you know how to contact Connor? Maybe he could come visit Jared and make his memory progress further.”
“I’ve never met Connor and I’ve never wanted to. I don’t know how to get in touch with him.”
“We can look back in Jared’s records to find some contact information.”
“Knowing how this man was to Jared, how long it took for Jared to get to be the man he is now, you’re going to put him in the same room as him?”
“Right now, that’s who Jared trusts. We’ll keep a close eye on their interactions. I don’t want to put him in a dangerous situation.”
“Can I be in the room with them?”
Dr. Misha shook his head. “You need to work on building you own relationship with Jared. He doesn’t feel married to you. Treat him as if you just started dating, allow him to get used to you. Anything can trigger a memory. If you get tired of waiting for him to remember you, divorce is always a possibility.”
“I’d never divorce Jared! I love him.”
“I know you do. I’m just telling you that you have an out if it gets too painful for you. I’m going to see how Jared is doing. I’ll talk to you more after I see him.”
***
Chris and Steve were standing with Jensen when Connor strolled down the hall. The man was crazy enough to smile at the men on his way by. Jensen almost had to be held back. He wanted to dole out all the punishment Jared had taken from Connor over the years. The only comfort he had was that Chad was in the room with Jared, and he wasn’t going to let Connor get out of line.
“Connor!” Jared’s face lit up and he opened his arms to the sweet man what he remembered from their early years.
“Jared!” Connor returned the hug, glad to have his possession back in his grasp.
Chad’s stomach rolled as he saw Jared’s happiness and Connor’s calculating look. He wanted to push the monster out of the room but didn’t want to hinder Jared’s progress.
***
Jensen was forced to go back to work. There were always animals that needed help and he had time on his hands since he had to keep his visits with Jared brief. They had a very tentative friendship. Jared still didn’t trust him but realized that Jensen was truly his husband, and that made him at least want to hear what Jensen had to say.
“How’s Jared doing?” the receptionist asked Jensen one morning. “Is he getting any better?”
“He still doesn’t remember me. But, I think he likes me. That’s an improvement over him just tolerating my visits.”
“There’s no way he cannot remember you, Dr. A. What you two have is too unique to be forgotten. You’re soul mates.”
He gave her a small smile. “I hope so.”
***
Dr. Misha called Jensen at work to tell him that Jared was going to be discharged.
“When? Are you sure he’s well enough?”
“Physically, he’s fine. His memory may or may not return. He’s going to meet with our psychologist three times a week to make sure he’s adjusting.”
“I haven’t been able to convince him to come home with me yet,” Jensen voiced his worries. “Connor is still playing the part of the perfect husband. I don’t want him around Jared.”
“Jared has said that he wants to go home with Connor. It’s the house that he remembers. As his husband, you can try to keep him from living with Connor but that might not be smart if your main goal is to reunite with him. You can’t force him to trust you.”
“I know.”
“The visits with the doctor will check his well being. I would still encourage frequent visits with you to try to get him to remember.”
“I’m not leaving him, Doc. I’ll give him room but I’m not leaving.”
“I know that.”
***
“Jensen! What are you doing here?” Connor blocked the front door.
“I’ve come to visit Jared.”
“He’s busy.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m allowed to visit him. I’m his husband.”
“You’re the only one that thinks that,” Connor scoffed. “You’re not the one he’s having husbandly relations with.”
Anger flashed in Jensen’s eyes and Connor gave him an evil smile, knowing he’d hit a sore spot.
“Thought I heard the door,” Jared appeared behind Connor, confused. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Connor kissed Jared’s cheek as he walked past, back into the house.
“Jensen?” Jared’s voice was shaky.
It took a moment for Jensen to gather himself after seeing that kiss. “Hey, Jared,” he forced a smile on his face. “I have a surprise for you today, if you feel up to it.”
“Surprise? Sure.” Jared’s dimples showed up or the first time in Jensen’s presence since before he was hospitalized.
After being at home for a week, Jensen noticed that Jared was more trusting of him. It was as if giving Jared the home that he knew made him more willing to let in others that he couldn’t recall.
They pulled in Jensen’s driveway, and he’d hoped that Jared would recognize the house. No such luck. They went inside and Jared spied their wedding pictures on the wall.
“When did we get married?” he asked.
“A year and a half ago,” Jensen stood close by. “You told Chad he could only be in the wedding if he was a ring bearer since that’s the age he acts.”
“I wouldn’t be that cruel.”
“You meant it as a joke. As a consolation, he was in charge of our bachelor party.”
“How’d that go?”
“He got us female strippers.”
Jared chuckled. “He didn’t.”
“Yep, he did. Later in the evening, he brought the men out, but he had the women for Chad, Chris and Steve’s enjoyment.”
“I wish I could remember that.”
“Maybe one day you will.”
Jared went quiet.
“You haven’t seen your surprise yet,” Jensen nudged Jared with his shoulder. “Come this way.”
Jared smiled as he followed Jensen through the kitchen. They stepped out the patio door where Bruiser and Bella were bouncing and playing in the yard. When they saw their owners, they bolted to the house.
“Whoa, whoa!” Jensen tried to shield Jared from a little of their excitement. “They sure are happy to see you. The big one is Bruiser and the other is Belle. I bought her for you.”
Jared knelt down and let the young dog lick his face. He giggled a little as he patted her fur.
When they were back inside and the dogs were lounging around the house, Jensen asked, “Does anything seem familiar?”
“I remember how much I like dogs.”
“You actually work at the shelter with me, or at least you did. You were playing with the dogs when someone broke in and knocked you over the head. That’s how you landed in the hospital.”
“Did they catch who did it?”
“Nope. They’re still looking. I feel guilty as hell that I wasn’t there when they broke in. I was at a damn meeting.”
“It’s not your fault. You have nothing to feel guilty about.”
“Thanks for saying that, but it won’t make it go away.”
“Maybe one day it will. You never know.” Jared tried to extend warmth and kindness to a man who had only ever been nice to him. Even when Jared was less than friendly, Jensen didn’t run away.
***
“I think I should go back to work at the shelter,” Jared stated one morning during breakfast.
“No.”
“What do you mean, ‘no’?”
“Just what I said. No.” Connor’s voice was stern. “I don’t think you’re well enough to go to work. Besides, if you’re feeling good enough to think about that, you could pick up this dump. You’ve seriously been slacking.”
“Oh,” Jared was quiet. He instantly felt bad, thinking he was being a lousy husband.
Connor hid his smirk behind his coffee cup. It had paid to keep tabs on Jared and have him hurt. Now, he had Jared once more in his control.
***
During Jared’s second visit to Jensen’s house, Jensen told him that he could take Bella home with him.
“Really?”
“Well, yeah. She’s yours. I picked up the supplies you’ll need. You loved her so much and she should be with you.”
“Oh, thank you!” Jared flung himself toward Jensen and gave him a bear hug. “Of course I want her at home.”
Jensen’s eyes watered at the thought of Jared in his arms calling another place home.
After that visit, Jared and Jensen talked on the phone almost daily. Most of it was canine related, but Jensen was just glad to have Jared in his life at all. He worried because Jared hadn’t returned to work, but decided that it wasn’t any of his business. Maybe Jared felt too uncomfortable around him and other folks there that he didn’t remember.
Dr. Misha assured him that Jared was keeping his appointments and had been doing so well that he was down to once a week. There was nothing that could be done about the memory that he’d lost, but he was making new memories and remembering them.
***
“Jensen!”
He heard Jared scream for him and raced in that direction. Jared held Bella in her arms. Her body was limp. Jensen took the beloved dog from Jared and took her right to the emergency/surgery part of the shelter. Jared was right behind, wiping away tears.
“What happened?” Jensen asked as he checked her over.
“I don’t know. She was fine this morning. She played outside and ate. I was in another room and when I came back, she was just lying on the floor. I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go.”
“You did good bringing her here, Jared.” Jensen tried to sound extra calm as he noticed signs of poisoning. What if Jared had screwed up feeding her? How could he tell Jared that he’d killed his own dog? “Looks like she might have gotten into something. Do you have any poisonous plants at your house?”
“No. I doggy-proofed our house the day I brought her home. You gave me that book, remember?”
Thinking back, Jensen did remember the beginner’s manual for dog care. It was all the basic information to keep them healthy and safe.
“Was anything different in the last twelve hours? Did she play in an area of the yard that she usually doesn’t? Did you treat your lawn?”
“No.” Jared was quiet as he thought through his day and watched Jensen intently. “When I was in the shower, she’d spilled her water and Connor gave her more.”
“He did? How’s he been liking Belle?” Jensen’s suspicions were getting the best of him.
“Oh, they’re still adjusting to each other,” Jared’s face turned red. “He likes having his house a certain way and dog hair is definitely unwelcome.”
“Has something happened recently to make him madder than usual?”
Silence.
“Jared?” Jensen stopped what he was doing and looked at the forlorn man across the examining table. “I’m going to take a blood sample and start an IV. Then, I’ll need you to sit with Belle, okay? Just yell if you need anything. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
The big man nodded and bent over the table, sobbing into Belle’s soft coat. “I’m so sorry, Belle. I’m so sorry . . .”
Jensen knew that he was going to find that Belle had been poisoned. It didn’t make it any easier to get those results, though. It was the kind of poison that he couldn’t treat her for. Her organs would just slowly shut down.
“You can’t make her better?”
“I can’t, Jared. She’s ingested a poison. It’s not one I can treat the side effects of. It’s always fatal.”
“She’s going to die?” Jared looked at Jensen with tear-filled eyes. “How will it happen?”
“Her organs will shut down, one after another, until she’s unable to keep functioning.”
“Will it hurt?”
“I don’t know, Jared. We could give her medicine for the pain or we could just let her go.”
“You mean kill her?”
“No,” Jensen had Jared sit on the stool near the exam table. Then, he knelt down so he could look him in the eye. He put a hand on his shoulder as he tried not to cry along with Jared. “She would get drowsy, fall asleep, and not wake up. It doesn’t hurt and it’s quick.”
“Is that what you’d do if it was Bruiser?”
Jensen nodded. He was surprised when Jared grabbed the hand Jensen had placed on his shoulder.
“Can I stay with her?”
“Yes.”
Jared squeezed his hand and looked at his lap as he asked a question and was unsure of the answer. “Will you stay with me?”
Unable to hold tears back anymore, Jensen replied, “I’ll be here as long as you need me.”
Nodding, Jared looked at Belle. “You won’t do it until I’m ready.”
“Of course not.”
“I need to talk to Belle,” Jared stood on shaky legs and clung to his furry companion as he whispered in her ear.
Jensen quickly gathered what he’d need and joined Jared, stroking the pup he’d so lovingly selected for his husband. He silently said his goodbyes.
“Whenever you’re ready.”
Wiping at his face, Jared tried to be brave. “You need to tell her goodbye. You loved her, too.”
“Yes, I did.” Jensen murmured some words in Belle’s ear and stood back up. “Ready?”
“No, but I guess I have to be. I can just hold her, right?”
“As long as you want to. I’ll be right here.” Jensen injected the medication and then moved so he could put an arm around Jared. “She won’t hurt anymore, Jared. She’ll be okay.”
“I won’t,” was Jared’s muffled reply.
Jensen’s heart broke right along with his.
***
“I can’t believe he killed her,” Jared said after they’d buried Belle.
“Connor?” Jensen tried to keep his question innocent and not let his anger bleed through.
“He’d threatened me, but I never thought he was evil.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’d complained about dog hair on his suits, Belle needing to be tended to and said the house smelled. I can’t remember what it was I did, exactly, that made him so mad. He’d yelled at me that I was going to regret it, and I thought it was just one of his usual rants.”
“Jared, how did you think he was going to make you regret it?”
The younger man shut up and stared out the window, blush coloring his cheeks.
“I don’t want you to go back there.”
Jared looked at Jensen as if those were the last words he’d expected to hear from him.
“I can’t make you stay. I won’t press the issue because when you come back to me it needs to be on your terms. I’ll bring you back to Connor’s if that’s what you really want.”
“He took Belle away because I loved her,” Jared explained. “I don’t want to live there. But, everything I own is there.”
“No, it isn’t.” Jensen corrected him. “I’d brought some of your belongings to you but I kept the most important ones here. I didn’t trust Connor.”
“Why not?”
“He’s been cruel to you before. I would have tried to tell you about it after you woke up, but since I was some guy you didn’t know, you wouldn’t have believed me.”
“Connor wasn’t as I’d remembered him. I kept telling myself that it was me that had changed.”
“No, he’s always had that hatred. He just hid it well. There was a reason you left the first time.”
“You’d welcome me back? Let me stay?”
“Of course. You’re still my husband.”
Jared seemed shocked. “I would have thought--I mean--didn’t you file for divorce? It’s been quite some time that I’ve been living with Connor.”
“I swore I’d be by you through sickness and health. That’s what losing your memory was. I always knew I wouldn’t quit trying to get you back. To me, it was just a matter of time.”
Jared was so relived. Somewhere inside, he knew what it was that attracted him to Jensen the first time--his quiet, loving, compassionate ways.
There, in the kitchen, Jensen allowed Jared to hug him. It took a second for it to sink in that he was finally holding Jared in his arms. When it did, he held on tight, knowing Jared was back for good.