50stories Theme#36 - Rain ~ ame ga furu toki wa itsumo... ~ KaoruxYoshiki
Title: ame ga furu toki wa itsumo... (every time it rains...)
Author: Ame
Theme: #36 - Rain
Rating: PG
Genre: uh...? a little bit sad, mostly just plain old fiction
Pairing: KaoruxYoshiki
Band(s): Dir en grey/S.K.I.N., X Japan, etc.
Summary: Yoshiki is caught up in thoughts and memories brought on by the constant rain.
Disclaimer: I still don't own them.
Comments: Yoshiki's POV! Man those first persons sure creep up on me o.O
I am an attention whore. Not afraid to admit it. XP Comments = <3 ^^
Enjoy!
Every time it rains, I can't help but stop for just a moment. I never really should - it seems like I'm always too busy to - but I do it anyway. It makes me think, and that's something I should never do these days. Mostly I think about you.
Then again, everything makes me think about you now.
"Yoshiki," someone says, and I turn away from the window, streaked with heaven's tears and blurring, distorting the light of the city as it filters in. The someone clears their throat a little, now that they have my attention, and continues talking their bullshit nobody cares about. Once he's distracted I turn back to the window and swirl the small amount of drink left in my glass. I don't remember what I'm drinking, nor have I bothered to remember the name of the someone talking. All the someones are the same, anyway, why does it matter?
I'm thinking about that time when we danced. You weren't even drunk. That makes me smile. You were down for a recording, so I went to see you. It was raining, of course, but you wouldn't even consent to running to my car, since we didn't have an umbrella between us. You just stepped outside and stopped, turned your face up to the sky and let the cold rain get all over you. I was so mad at you, you know! I hate it when you do those crazy things, things that might get you hurt or are just plain stupid. You're not Die, you know! But you just laughed at me when I told you to hurry up, scolded you for being an idiot, saying you'd get sick. You just laughed. And you turned your face toward me, your eyes all squinted from the rain and that huge smile plastered across your face. I was shivering. Then suddenly I was in your arms, and you were twirling with me and laughing like a madman, right there in that damned parking lot! I tried to push you away - no, not really. I have to admit that, now. I didn't try that hard. But you stopped when I got too heavy - you had picked me up because I wouldn't cooperate. And you laughed at me, and called me an old geeser, and I stalked off like I was mad at you. I didn't want you to know how happy that made me, being lifted in your arms like a child and danced around in the middle of the rain. It made me perfectly giddy. Then again, I never tell you that.
"Yoshiki. Yoshiki, are you listening?" Someone else said it this time. And I know this someone, so I turn to them. I nod. She sighs a little and asks me what I think. I nod like I know what's going on. And I do, a little. I know why I'm there, at least, and I know I think the idea is good, so I nod and that satisifes everyone - like it means something, because it was me who did it. I hate that. And we all get up then, because that's that and we all have more important places to be, better things to do and more entertaining people to be with. I glance at my watch, and realising this thing got over early I feel a short wave of happiness, followed by a dead-tired weight, pass over me. I yawn discreetly and head straight for my car.
On the way home, the radio station I wasn't really listening to was playing "I've Got a Spell On You", while the rain was pattering mercilessly against my windshield. When it decides to rain here, it really rains, if even for just a moment. Tonight, though, it's really something. There was a wreck on the way, which is when I stopped to actually listen to the radio. But I'm home safe now, and there's a can of coke in my hand, and I'm sitting here doing nothing, listening to the rain. I shouldn't be drinking so much soda, but it's good and I want to today, so I'm going to do it anyway. See what you're doing to me? As I glance at the clock I realise I could call you, but it's Monday where you are and you're probably busy yelling at the other members of your band. We need to take a break sometime. I've said that recently, havent I? ...I'll get to it.
I should be working on something, I know. There's always something I should be working on. But I don't feel like it. Maybe you're really becoming a bad influence. Or maybe I'm just feeling sick today or something. I don't feel sick, though, other than a mild headache, and I've always got one of those. It's cold in here for some reason. But it's warm where you are. I bet the sun is shining and you're sweating your cute ass off playing like mad at that guitar of yours. I sigh and finish off the coke, and realise I've been thinking about your ass for the past five minutes. Yes, I'm definitely going to have to quit you.
I should be working. Still. But I'm not. Still. I've made a nice post on my MySpace, for my sweet fans who check it every day. I really do love them. They're so wonderful. And now I'm weeding through my virtual mountains of e-mail, when I see something familiar. My heart skips a beat. You mean you actually found the time to e-mail me? I click on it eagerly, feeling like a giddy schoolgirl getting chocolates back on white day. You really do love me! Ick.
Hi tenshi. I thought you might be getting lonely all the way across the ocean, so I decided to send you a little message. It's raining a lot down here, and it hasn't let up for at least two days. The weather is crazy sometimes. I've got a little cold, but I'm okay. Are you any better? I feel kind of stupid writing to you instead of calling, but it's early where you are and I want to let you sleep, for once. So sleep well, my tenshi. Call me when you read this. I miss you, and I love you.
Kaoru
It's raining there too, is it? I wonder if you think of me, like I think of you. Hmm...will you be upset if I call you during practise? I'm sure the others will be glad to be rid of you for a least a few minutes. All right.
The line keeps ringing, and I'm getting a little worried. Most of the time you don't pick up when you're at practise. But finally there's a reassuring click.
"Moshi-moshi?"
"Hello, Kao-ai. I read your e-mail. Can you talk?" You take a moment to converse with the others.
"Sure." You pause to get a cigarette and light it. I find that a little rude, but it's a small price to pay to hear your voice. "How are you?"
"I'm feeling a little better. Things are going well over here. How are you?"
"Fine." Another pause. That means you don't want to talk about it, because if you do you'll start ranting about Kyo or something else you think I find trivial and must not want to hear about. But that's an argument for later. I sigh.
"Is it still raining?"
"Mm-hm. All cold and dreary. It makes me quiet." I laugh a little.
"Well, it must be magic rain." You tsk, and I smile at you, even though I know you can't see me. It's the thought that counts. "It's raining here, too."
"Ah."
Pause. I sigh again. You're so hard to talk to when you're distracted by your music. Am I like that, too?
"I love you." It's the only thing I can think to say. You sigh a little yourself this time, and answer me in a tired voice.
"I love you, too, tenshi."
I look back out at the rain, as it streaks my window. It's an illusion, the rain, hiding and distorting the things you don't want to see. It's said the rain washes the world clean. Of sin, of sorrow, of everything. But I can't believe that. Wars go on in the rain, don't they? You clear your throat, bringing me back down to earth temporarily.
"I have to go. Get some sleep, okay? Please?"
"Stop that," I say, but I hear the gentle consent in my voice. I am tired, and I have to be somewhere at six tomorrow morning. I think it would be nice to get some sleep. "I'll go to bed when I'm good and ready." The yawn almost betrays me, but I held it back until I was finished. I almost hear you nod.
"Alright, you."
"Hey, don't work yourself too hard either!" I scold. You laugh a little, and someone calls your name.
"Okay. Oyasumi." You hang up in a hurry, and I let the phone fall onto the nearest flat surface. I yawn again, and decide that - for once - you're right.
I was nearly falling over from tiredness getting into bed, but now that I'm here I can't sleep. The rain is pattering still, and for some reason my thoughts have drifted away from you, to darker parts of my mind. Ever since X started playing together again I've been thinking about things more often. Parts of my life I've tried not to think about too much. They drift to the surface, mostly at the wrong times, and settle there like bad silt. Except silt sinks. Nevermind.
I turn on my side and bury my face in the pillow, but my entire body hurts and my mind is racing, and the rain is playing its uneven rhythm against everything around me, against my very brain. I can't sleep. Not now, not tonight. Oh gods, am I crying! Fitfully, I turn on my back again and stare at the dark ceiling, at the twinkling lights dancing across it faintly, torn into pieces by the rivulets of rain. It should be beautiful, but right now it's frightening. I can see faces in the moving light, glaring at me fleetingly and then disappearing back into the world of shadow, too afraid to stay there for long. What are they afraid of?
My mind is wandering. It's late, and I can't think straight. I guess that means I have to sleep. If I can't think straight, I can't do much to help anybody, can I? I turn on my side again and hug a pillow to me tightly. I'm shivering, but I shut my eyes and try not to think about anything. That's not working. Maybe I should think about something, then. I see you, of course. But I see others, too. I see huge crowds, screaming crowds, screaming from ecstasy, from love, from horror, from terrible grief. But you're there, too, and you're holding out your hand to me, and saying something softly that I can't hear, but it's comforting no less. But it's not you, is it? It's someone else. Someone made from all the someones, and all the real people, all of everything that matters. Slowly, I take that hand, and instantly I can feel myself falling asleep. It's suddenly all washed away, as if I were melting in the rain.
Thoughts? XD
Author: Ame
Theme: #36 - Rain
Rating: PG
Genre: uh...? a little bit sad, mostly just plain old fiction
Pairing: KaoruxYoshiki
Band(s): Dir en grey/S.K.I.N., X Japan, etc.
Summary: Yoshiki is caught up in thoughts and memories brought on by the constant rain.
Disclaimer: I still don't own them.
Comments: Yoshiki's POV! Man those first persons sure creep up on me o.O
I am an attention whore. Not afraid to admit it. XP Comments = <3 ^^
Enjoy!
Every time it rains, I can't help but stop for just a moment. I never really should - it seems like I'm always too busy to - but I do it anyway. It makes me think, and that's something I should never do these days. Mostly I think about you.
Then again, everything makes me think about you now.
"Yoshiki," someone says, and I turn away from the window, streaked with heaven's tears and blurring, distorting the light of the city as it filters in. The someone clears their throat a little, now that they have my attention, and continues talking their bullshit nobody cares about. Once he's distracted I turn back to the window and swirl the small amount of drink left in my glass. I don't remember what I'm drinking, nor have I bothered to remember the name of the someone talking. All the someones are the same, anyway, why does it matter?
I'm thinking about that time when we danced. You weren't even drunk. That makes me smile. You were down for a recording, so I went to see you. It was raining, of course, but you wouldn't even consent to running to my car, since we didn't have an umbrella between us. You just stepped outside and stopped, turned your face up to the sky and let the cold rain get all over you. I was so mad at you, you know! I hate it when you do those crazy things, things that might get you hurt or are just plain stupid. You're not Die, you know! But you just laughed at me when I told you to hurry up, scolded you for being an idiot, saying you'd get sick. You just laughed. And you turned your face toward me, your eyes all squinted from the rain and that huge smile plastered across your face. I was shivering. Then suddenly I was in your arms, and you were twirling with me and laughing like a madman, right there in that damned parking lot! I tried to push you away - no, not really. I have to admit that, now. I didn't try that hard. But you stopped when I got too heavy - you had picked me up because I wouldn't cooperate. And you laughed at me, and called me an old geeser, and I stalked off like I was mad at you. I didn't want you to know how happy that made me, being lifted in your arms like a child and danced around in the middle of the rain. It made me perfectly giddy. Then again, I never tell you that.
"Yoshiki. Yoshiki, are you listening?" Someone else said it this time. And I know this someone, so I turn to them. I nod. She sighs a little and asks me what I think. I nod like I know what's going on. And I do, a little. I know why I'm there, at least, and I know I think the idea is good, so I nod and that satisifes everyone - like it means something, because it was me who did it. I hate that. And we all get up then, because that's that and we all have more important places to be, better things to do and more entertaining people to be with. I glance at my watch, and realising this thing got over early I feel a short wave of happiness, followed by a dead-tired weight, pass over me. I yawn discreetly and head straight for my car.
On the way home, the radio station I wasn't really listening to was playing "I've Got a Spell On You", while the rain was pattering mercilessly against my windshield. When it decides to rain here, it really rains, if even for just a moment. Tonight, though, it's really something. There was a wreck on the way, which is when I stopped to actually listen to the radio. But I'm home safe now, and there's a can of coke in my hand, and I'm sitting here doing nothing, listening to the rain. I shouldn't be drinking so much soda, but it's good and I want to today, so I'm going to do it anyway. See what you're doing to me? As I glance at the clock I realise I could call you, but it's Monday where you are and you're probably busy yelling at the other members of your band. We need to take a break sometime. I've said that recently, havent I? ...I'll get to it.
I should be working on something, I know. There's always something I should be working on. But I don't feel like it. Maybe you're really becoming a bad influence. Or maybe I'm just feeling sick today or something. I don't feel sick, though, other than a mild headache, and I've always got one of those. It's cold in here for some reason. But it's warm where you are. I bet the sun is shining and you're sweating your cute ass off playing like mad at that guitar of yours. I sigh and finish off the coke, and realise I've been thinking about your ass for the past five minutes. Yes, I'm definitely going to have to quit you.
I should be working. Still. But I'm not. Still. I've made a nice post on my MySpace, for my sweet fans who check it every day. I really do love them. They're so wonderful. And now I'm weeding through my virtual mountains of e-mail, when I see something familiar. My heart skips a beat. You mean you actually found the time to e-mail me? I click on it eagerly, feeling like a giddy schoolgirl getting chocolates back on white day. You really do love me! Ick.
Hi tenshi. I thought you might be getting lonely all the way across the ocean, so I decided to send you a little message. It's raining a lot down here, and it hasn't let up for at least two days. The weather is crazy sometimes. I've got a little cold, but I'm okay. Are you any better? I feel kind of stupid writing to you instead of calling, but it's early where you are and I want to let you sleep, for once. So sleep well, my tenshi. Call me when you read this. I miss you, and I love you.
Kaoru
It's raining there too, is it? I wonder if you think of me, like I think of you. Hmm...will you be upset if I call you during practise? I'm sure the others will be glad to be rid of you for a least a few minutes. All right.
The line keeps ringing, and I'm getting a little worried. Most of the time you don't pick up when you're at practise. But finally there's a reassuring click.
"Moshi-moshi?"
"Hello, Kao-ai. I read your e-mail. Can you talk?" You take a moment to converse with the others.
"Sure." You pause to get a cigarette and light it. I find that a little rude, but it's a small price to pay to hear your voice. "How are you?"
"I'm feeling a little better. Things are going well over here. How are you?"
"Fine." Another pause. That means you don't want to talk about it, because if you do you'll start ranting about Kyo or something else you think I find trivial and must not want to hear about. But that's an argument for later. I sigh.
"Is it still raining?"
"Mm-hm. All cold and dreary. It makes me quiet." I laugh a little.
"Well, it must be magic rain." You tsk, and I smile at you, even though I know you can't see me. It's the thought that counts. "It's raining here, too."
"Ah."
Pause. I sigh again. You're so hard to talk to when you're distracted by your music. Am I like that, too?
"I love you." It's the only thing I can think to say. You sigh a little yourself this time, and answer me in a tired voice.
"I love you, too, tenshi."
I look back out at the rain, as it streaks my window. It's an illusion, the rain, hiding and distorting the things you don't want to see. It's said the rain washes the world clean. Of sin, of sorrow, of everything. But I can't believe that. Wars go on in the rain, don't they? You clear your throat, bringing me back down to earth temporarily.
"I have to go. Get some sleep, okay? Please?"
"Stop that," I say, but I hear the gentle consent in my voice. I am tired, and I have to be somewhere at six tomorrow morning. I think it would be nice to get some sleep. "I'll go to bed when I'm good and ready." The yawn almost betrays me, but I held it back until I was finished. I almost hear you nod.
"Alright, you."
"Hey, don't work yourself too hard either!" I scold. You laugh a little, and someone calls your name.
"Okay. Oyasumi." You hang up in a hurry, and I let the phone fall onto the nearest flat surface. I yawn again, and decide that - for once - you're right.
I was nearly falling over from tiredness getting into bed, but now that I'm here I can't sleep. The rain is pattering still, and for some reason my thoughts have drifted away from you, to darker parts of my mind. Ever since X started playing together again I've been thinking about things more often. Parts of my life I've tried not to think about too much. They drift to the surface, mostly at the wrong times, and settle there like bad silt. Except silt sinks. Nevermind.
I turn on my side and bury my face in the pillow, but my entire body hurts and my mind is racing, and the rain is playing its uneven rhythm against everything around me, against my very brain. I can't sleep. Not now, not tonight. Oh gods, am I crying! Fitfully, I turn on my back again and stare at the dark ceiling, at the twinkling lights dancing across it faintly, torn into pieces by the rivulets of rain. It should be beautiful, but right now it's frightening. I can see faces in the moving light, glaring at me fleetingly and then disappearing back into the world of shadow, too afraid to stay there for long. What are they afraid of?
My mind is wandering. It's late, and I can't think straight. I guess that means I have to sleep. If I can't think straight, I can't do much to help anybody, can I? I turn on my side again and hug a pillow to me tightly. I'm shivering, but I shut my eyes and try not to think about anything. That's not working. Maybe I should think about something, then. I see you, of course. But I see others, too. I see huge crowds, screaming crowds, screaming from ecstasy, from love, from horror, from terrible grief. But you're there, too, and you're holding out your hand to me, and saying something softly that I can't hear, but it's comforting no less. But it's not you, is it? It's someone else. Someone made from all the someones, and all the real people, all of everything that matters. Slowly, I take that hand, and instantly I can feel myself falling asleep. It's suddenly all washed away, as if I were melting in the rain.
Thoughts? XD