Labour Day '05: Impressive feats of Drinking abound
Regina. The city on it's own is nothing special; In fact, it's downright boring. But for one weekend a year, it becomes a mecca for Prairie dwelling CFL fans. I've been up 5 years in a row now and always have an amazing time, this year was no exception.
When my usual group(Spriggs, Josh, Jay, Ian and Adam) backed out this year, I was forced to look elsewhere for people to go with. Last year we met up with my buddy Cole and a couple of friends of his Jamie Bernard and Doug Wilsey. The were witness to one of the worst drink whoring I've ever seen when a girl blatently bled me of 15 bucks and 3 drinks and had no intrest in my drunk ass; Cole saved me from spending more and I called her out. They were going up again this year and had an extra ticket, so I decided to go with them. Wilsey ended up backing out and was replaced by Cole's roommate Doug Jackson.
We got to Regina around 2 in the afternoon and got to drinking. After much debate on whether to go in on a Texas Mickey, we ended up going for the smaller 66 oz bottle of Crown Royal, supplemented by 2 Mickeys for the game and 2 24s of Coors Light. Along with the 15 or so single beers and the 12 of MGD we'd pulled together before leaving Manitoba, we had alot to drink. We drank until around 5 and then headed over to the casino. I got my ass kicked to the tune of 80 bucks, but 'nardo(Jamie) cashed in big time. In one of the most impressive streaks of good luck I've ever seen, 'nardo won 180 bucks being brash and stupid; He doubled down a 40 dollar bet with 11 against an Ace, got an ace himself for a hand of 12, and then watched as the dealer had a six card bust. I decided to be like him and put my entire 40 bucks on the table for one hand; I got a 15 and lost it all when I pulled a king. So much for my weekend cash.
We headed back to the room for more drinking before meeting up with our buddy Chris Wermie for some pool at Racks and then headed over to New Yorx for a night at the bar. At Racks we sat down for a few games of pool and a couple of Schooners. A Schooner is a beer that is about 3 times the size of a bottle of beer and was not good for a system that already had a few too many beers in it. About an hour later we were ready to leave, but the schooner was still unfinished. I chugged the last 3rd of it and felt the familiar gurgling that comes right before I explode in a tidalwave of hops and barley. I made a run for the door and lost a little in the corner, just in front of a taxi driver. In most situations I only puke because of a buildup of gas coupled with the fact that I can't burp; this was no exception: Puke and Rally.
Off to New Yorx. It's the sight of some of my finest moments in Regina. It was at New Yorx where I got pushed off the stage into a group people, spilling drinks everywhere, by a drunk female rider fan because she felt bomber fans "Aren't allowed on the stage". My buddy Will(Who looks alot like Ogre from 'Revenge of the Nerds') then basically threw her 10 feet further into the crowd of dancing people-One of the funniest things I have ever seen; It was at New Yorx where I had the run in with the before-mentioned drink whore and her equaly whorish friends; and it was here where I got approached by a fat girl who just wanted 'some Winniepg Meat'. Jamie had headed over there before us with some of his older buddies and was in fine form when we got there. He was dancing on the stage with no one inparticular and we stood on the second floor watching him like he was some sort of National Geographic special. Cole came up with the best way to describe him- Jamie Bernard: The Handicapped Predator.
For the rest of the night we drank and watched as injured Bomber Defensive Lineman Doug Brown(Who is about 6'7 280) picked up a drunk girl who was about 5'5 110(he literally picked her up at the end of the night of the pavement outside of the bar). The night ended with a shot of Sambucca that was bought for me by my Uncle Rob and his friends.
Sunday started the same way Saturday ended: Drinking. I woke up and found out that during the night a couple of the guys across the way had got kicked out because they were being obnoxious and barricaded themselves in the room when security came to talk to them. Stupidly they took it even further and sealed their eviction by throwing their matress off the 9th Story balcony.
With 3 beers already under my belt, 'nardo and I took off for breakfast(Cole and Doug had passed out naked in an X formation covered only by a bomber flag-j/k) and had to sit down on a bus bench waiting for the place to open. in the 10 mins we were there we must have been harassed at least 3 times by random people stumbling out of their tinfoil covered apartments and onto their balconies. Sadly, the best they could do was "Bombers Suck, Riders Rule!". Got back, woke up the women and got into some serious drinking. Jamie cracks the 66 and begins what would turn out to be one of the most impressive displays of drinking that I have ever personally witnessed; more on that later. Wermie gets over around noon and already we're half in the bag. Some jems that happened:
-*Jamie Sprays Cole with water*
Cole: you just got your phone wet
'nardo: I don't care, it's a piece of shit anyway. *looks around at the water covered stuff* My Shoes! My Flags! Fuck you Skinner, this is all your fault!
- Jamie Throws the Coors Light box he'd been wearing on his head off the balcony at some Rider Fans on a lower floor. He hits them and they try and throw it back at us, only to have it fall to the ground.
- I call Jamie a sissy for pouring a weak drink(It only had about 7 ounces of Rye in it), to which he comes back with "I'll sissy you!"
-For Some Reason, 'nardo starts miming like he's fingering himself and we notice; it becomes a reoccuring burn throughout the trip. "You know how I know you're gay? You watched Jamie Finger himself"
- We were screaming at some fat rider fans below us who had their children with them. I believe some of the comments that I threw out were "Who the fuck would breed with you?!" and "FREEEEEEEE WIIIIIIIILLLLLYY"
Mark, his brother Scott and a few random Regina girls(one who had such a dirty mouth on her that it made me blush) made it to the hotel and drinking was stepped up. As some of you know, Mark is a bad influence on me and I seem to drink more in his presence. We start waving one of our bpmber flags and the Rider fans that were in the hotel room directly below us grab it and rip it out of our hands, only to throw it off thier balcony and onto the roof below. I start to soak them-and their video equipment- with beer until our plastic badged overlord(Security guard) Dougie told us that if we didn't behave he'd have us removed from the hotel. We calmed down because Dougie's a cool shit(Kinda looked like James Spader).
On the way to the game, I nearly got in a fight with this guy that was talking shit to me because I was talking smack about the Riders. He was fat, shirtless and a pillar of the Regina community. All he could do was flip me off and walk away when I told him "Buddy, you are not nearly buff enough, or fat enough, to pull off coming shirtless to the game"; basically, he had nothing.
The game was nothing special, but with Milt getting his record setting 118th TD of his career and then following it up by probably the greatest catch I've ever seen(compeletely upside down with one hand under the ball- WOW) it was a decent time, especially for a loss. The Rider fans around us were cool and most had nothing but good things to say, with a little bit of smack talk going both ways.
Jamie was a pile. Before we left, he finished off the 66 that only he and Cole had been drinking and he had at least 2/3 of it. He got to the game and pulled ot his Mickey and kept the good times rolling. I think he used the words "Cunt" and "Fuck" in every sentance of the afternoon, putting the family with small children behind us in fear of this giant man swearing and swaying back in forth standing on the bench in front of them. We were all pretty drunk but 'nardo was the bonafide star of this drunken debacle. We spent most of the first half scared of what he was going to do and wondering if we should leave the game to take him back. At the end of the first half he just disappeared and we didn't see him again for the rest of the game(apparently he went to visit some friends in section 26).
After the shellacking the bombers took (Riders won 45-26) I headed over to the tailgating area to hang out with Uncle Rob and his buddies. His Frined Brian Monaster was impressive in his drunkeness; on the walk home he decided to prune the shrubs in the park by taking a head-first dive into the bushes. It was sight to see, especially since he was holding the side of a city of Regina Barricade at the time. They went for Wings and I headed back to the hotel.
I met up with Cole and Doug in the room and found out the Jamie had taken off to go to the social at Bart's across the way. I went downstairs to wait for them and ran into Mark, Scott and the girls. We waited for a taxi for them in the lobby and Mark sees this bomber cheerleader. She is walking like she had recently been fucked with a jackhammer. Mark takes this as a sign that she's ready for more. I guess she was because within 30 seconds he has her room number. He decides, on his own, that he's going to forgo the sure sex with a hot slutty girl and go back with his brother for sleep on the floor of his cousin's apartment; the guy never ceases to amaze me.
Doug and Skinner(Cole) make it back downstairs and we head over to Bart's. The Social was hopping with Bomber and Rider fans, all looking for no stirngs attached throwdowns. With a few exceptions, it looked like they were succeeding. A distubing scene was when we saw a 300 pound black woman grinding on a pale 180 pound white guy with a mohawk while he was sitting on a stool; I nearly lost my breakfast this morning when Cole was discribing the scene again. Jamie is still going strong, but claims that he has a girlfriend and his "heart's not in it" to pick up. We all call bullshit and order him another drink. 2 Drinks later and the Handicapped Predator is at it again. We finally leave the bar, sans 'nardo, at around 1:30. He gets back, sans tail, at 2.
At the end of the night the final tally had me at around 21 or 22 Beers, Skinner at 25 or 26 ounces of Rye and 'nardo at an unbelievable 65-70 ounces of Liquor; That's more than a 2 litre bottle of coke filled with Rye!
By all standards this weekend was stellar. It may not have as many stories as previous Labour Day Trecks, but it was one for the books. Or at least one for Live Journal.
When my usual group(Spriggs, Josh, Jay, Ian and Adam) backed out this year, I was forced to look elsewhere for people to go with. Last year we met up with my buddy Cole and a couple of friends of his Jamie Bernard and Doug Wilsey. The were witness to one of the worst drink whoring I've ever seen when a girl blatently bled me of 15 bucks and 3 drinks and had no intrest in my drunk ass; Cole saved me from spending more and I called her out. They were going up again this year and had an extra ticket, so I decided to go with them. Wilsey ended up backing out and was replaced by Cole's roommate Doug Jackson.
We got to Regina around 2 in the afternoon and got to drinking. After much debate on whether to go in on a Texas Mickey, we ended up going for the smaller 66 oz bottle of Crown Royal, supplemented by 2 Mickeys for the game and 2 24s of Coors Light. Along with the 15 or so single beers and the 12 of MGD we'd pulled together before leaving Manitoba, we had alot to drink. We drank until around 5 and then headed over to the casino. I got my ass kicked to the tune of 80 bucks, but 'nardo(Jamie) cashed in big time. In one of the most impressive streaks of good luck I've ever seen, 'nardo won 180 bucks being brash and stupid; He doubled down a 40 dollar bet with 11 against an Ace, got an ace himself for a hand of 12, and then watched as the dealer had a six card bust. I decided to be like him and put my entire 40 bucks on the table for one hand; I got a 15 and lost it all when I pulled a king. So much for my weekend cash.
We headed back to the room for more drinking before meeting up with our buddy Chris Wermie for some pool at Racks and then headed over to New Yorx for a night at the bar. At Racks we sat down for a few games of pool and a couple of Schooners. A Schooner is a beer that is about 3 times the size of a bottle of beer and was not good for a system that already had a few too many beers in it. About an hour later we were ready to leave, but the schooner was still unfinished. I chugged the last 3rd of it and felt the familiar gurgling that comes right before I explode in a tidalwave of hops and barley. I made a run for the door and lost a little in the corner, just in front of a taxi driver. In most situations I only puke because of a buildup of gas coupled with the fact that I can't burp; this was no exception: Puke and Rally.
Off to New Yorx. It's the sight of some of my finest moments in Regina. It was at New Yorx where I got pushed off the stage into a group people, spilling drinks everywhere, by a drunk female rider fan because she felt bomber fans "Aren't allowed on the stage". My buddy Will(Who looks alot like Ogre from 'Revenge of the Nerds') then basically threw her 10 feet further into the crowd of dancing people-One of the funniest things I have ever seen; It was at New Yorx where I had the run in with the before-mentioned drink whore and her equaly whorish friends; and it was here where I got approached by a fat girl who just wanted 'some Winniepg Meat'. Jamie had headed over there before us with some of his older buddies and was in fine form when we got there. He was dancing on the stage with no one inparticular and we stood on the second floor watching him like he was some sort of National Geographic special. Cole came up with the best way to describe him- Jamie Bernard: The Handicapped Predator.
For the rest of the night we drank and watched as injured Bomber Defensive Lineman Doug Brown(Who is about 6'7 280) picked up a drunk girl who was about 5'5 110(he literally picked her up at the end of the night of the pavement outside of the bar). The night ended with a shot of Sambucca that was bought for me by my Uncle Rob and his friends.
Sunday started the same way Saturday ended: Drinking. I woke up and found out that during the night a couple of the guys across the way had got kicked out because they were being obnoxious and barricaded themselves in the room when security came to talk to them. Stupidly they took it even further and sealed their eviction by throwing their matress off the 9th Story balcony.
With 3 beers already under my belt, 'nardo and I took off for breakfast(Cole and Doug had passed out naked in an X formation covered only by a bomber flag-j/k) and had to sit down on a bus bench waiting for the place to open. in the 10 mins we were there we must have been harassed at least 3 times by random people stumbling out of their tinfoil covered apartments and onto their balconies. Sadly, the best they could do was "Bombers Suck, Riders Rule!". Got back, woke up the women and got into some serious drinking. Jamie cracks the 66 and begins what would turn out to be one of the most impressive displays of drinking that I have ever personally witnessed; more on that later. Wermie gets over around noon and already we're half in the bag. Some jems that happened:
-*Jamie Sprays Cole with water*
Cole: you just got your phone wet
'nardo: I don't care, it's a piece of shit anyway. *looks around at the water covered stuff* My Shoes! My Flags! Fuck you Skinner, this is all your fault!
- Jamie Throws the Coors Light box he'd been wearing on his head off the balcony at some Rider Fans on a lower floor. He hits them and they try and throw it back at us, only to have it fall to the ground.
- I call Jamie a sissy for pouring a weak drink(It only had about 7 ounces of Rye in it), to which he comes back with "I'll sissy you!"
-For Some Reason, 'nardo starts miming like he's fingering himself and we notice; it becomes a reoccuring burn throughout the trip. "You know how I know you're gay? You watched Jamie Finger himself"
- We were screaming at some fat rider fans below us who had their children with them. I believe some of the comments that I threw out were "Who the fuck would breed with you?!" and "FREEEEEEEE WIIIIIIIILLLLLYY"
Mark, his brother Scott and a few random Regina girls(one who had such a dirty mouth on her that it made me blush) made it to the hotel and drinking was stepped up. As some of you know, Mark is a bad influence on me and I seem to drink more in his presence. We start waving one of our bpmber flags and the Rider fans that were in the hotel room directly below us grab it and rip it out of our hands, only to throw it off thier balcony and onto the roof below. I start to soak them-and their video equipment- with beer until our plastic badged overlord(Security guard) Dougie told us that if we didn't behave he'd have us removed from the hotel. We calmed down because Dougie's a cool shit(Kinda looked like James Spader).
On the way to the game, I nearly got in a fight with this guy that was talking shit to me because I was talking smack about the Riders. He was fat, shirtless and a pillar of the Regina community. All he could do was flip me off and walk away when I told him "Buddy, you are not nearly buff enough, or fat enough, to pull off coming shirtless to the game"; basically, he had nothing.
The game was nothing special, but with Milt getting his record setting 118th TD of his career and then following it up by probably the greatest catch I've ever seen(compeletely upside down with one hand under the ball- WOW) it was a decent time, especially for a loss. The Rider fans around us were cool and most had nothing but good things to say, with a little bit of smack talk going both ways.
Jamie was a pile. Before we left, he finished off the 66 that only he and Cole had been drinking and he had at least 2/3 of it. He got to the game and pulled ot his Mickey and kept the good times rolling. I think he used the words "Cunt" and "Fuck" in every sentance of the afternoon, putting the family with small children behind us in fear of this giant man swearing and swaying back in forth standing on the bench in front of them. We were all pretty drunk but 'nardo was the bonafide star of this drunken debacle. We spent most of the first half scared of what he was going to do and wondering if we should leave the game to take him back. At the end of the first half he just disappeared and we didn't see him again for the rest of the game(apparently he went to visit some friends in section 26).
After the shellacking the bombers took (Riders won 45-26) I headed over to the tailgating area to hang out with Uncle Rob and his buddies. His Frined Brian Monaster was impressive in his drunkeness; on the walk home he decided to prune the shrubs in the park by taking a head-first dive into the bushes. It was sight to see, especially since he was holding the side of a city of Regina Barricade at the time. They went for Wings and I headed back to the hotel.
I met up with Cole and Doug in the room and found out the Jamie had taken off to go to the social at Bart's across the way. I went downstairs to wait for them and ran into Mark, Scott and the girls. We waited for a taxi for them in the lobby and Mark sees this bomber cheerleader. She is walking like she had recently been fucked with a jackhammer. Mark takes this as a sign that she's ready for more. I guess she was because within 30 seconds he has her room number. He decides, on his own, that he's going to forgo the sure sex with a hot slutty girl and go back with his brother for sleep on the floor of his cousin's apartment; the guy never ceases to amaze me.
Doug and Skinner(Cole) make it back downstairs and we head over to Bart's. The Social was hopping with Bomber and Rider fans, all looking for no stirngs attached throwdowns. With a few exceptions, it looked like they were succeeding. A distubing scene was when we saw a 300 pound black woman grinding on a pale 180 pound white guy with a mohawk while he was sitting on a stool; I nearly lost my breakfast this morning when Cole was discribing the scene again. Jamie is still going strong, but claims that he has a girlfriend and his "heart's not in it" to pick up. We all call bullshit and order him another drink. 2 Drinks later and the Handicapped Predator is at it again. We finally leave the bar, sans 'nardo, at around 1:30. He gets back, sans tail, at 2.
At the end of the night the final tally had me at around 21 or 22 Beers, Skinner at 25 or 26 ounces of Rye and 'nardo at an unbelievable 65-70 ounces of Liquor; That's more than a 2 litre bottle of coke filled with Rye!
By all standards this weekend was stellar. It may not have as many stories as previous Labour Day Trecks, but it was one for the books. Or at least one for Live Journal.