Today's Shattered Star: Things That Hurt
So I was cruising around the internet, bored out of my mind as usual when I saw something one of my RL friends had posted.
You know when you see something that's not meant to be hurtful, or even directed at you specifically but it just
tears your heart in half?
And its totally irrational, but you just can't help it? Yeah, that's me right now.
She didn't put it up there for me, or even about me but it still hurt me a lot. This friend, lets call her Moonlight. Yeah, codenames for everyone, I say.
Moonlight is my best friend, we go way back. And I was browsing LJ, not specifically looking for her like I usually do, but I ended up on her page anyway. So, I wasn't really reading her journal, (I can't because she hasn't friended me back and probably never will) but I did think her little semi-friends only picture was funny. So I clicked on her little Policy button to see if I, Shattered Star, her Real Life best friend, has what it takes to be her friend on LJ.
Easy Sauce, Right?
Apparently not.
Because Moonlight is uncomfortable with her RLs reading her LJ. Which I get. But she's told ME specifically. Me, her best friend.
Obviously, she's entitled to her privacy. But I'm her best friend, I tell her everything. Literally. Even when I'm not sure she can handle the truth.
Why?
Because I promised. That's why.
And I assumed that it would go both ways.
You know what they say about assumptions.
Of course, I respect her decision to not tell me things.
I just can't understand why it hurts so much.
~Shattered Star
P.S.
In case you were wondering why I call myself Shattered Star, read this poem I wrote.
Four Shattered Stars
The sky is vast and dark and great
The winds are fast and cold
And while these shining rays abate
All we ever do is wait
We wait for missing pieces of a dream
We wait for things we've never seen
We're waiting for the world to breathe
This space right here
Too small to see
This little part inside of me
Contains those things that never rest
Locked inside this awful chest
My heart.
My soul.
My mind.
This empty sham of body
These four fallen, shattered stars
From my sky so dark
My winds so cold
I count those broken pieces everyday
As if they're cherished gold
And no one will ever understand
The four shattered stars
I hold within my hand
They only belong to me
Because I know they'll never see
They will never comprehend
That these four shattered stars
Are everything I am
You know when you see something that's not meant to be hurtful, or even directed at you specifically but it just
tears your heart in half?
And its totally irrational, but you just can't help it? Yeah, that's me right now.
She didn't put it up there for me, or even about me but it still hurt me a lot. This friend, lets call her Moonlight. Yeah, codenames for everyone, I say.
Moonlight is my best friend, we go way back. And I was browsing LJ, not specifically looking for her like I usually do, but I ended up on her page anyway. So, I wasn't really reading her journal, (I can't because she hasn't friended me back and probably never will) but I did think her little semi-friends only picture was funny. So I clicked on her little Policy button to see if I, Shattered Star, her Real Life best friend, has what it takes to be her friend on LJ.
Easy Sauce, Right?
Apparently not.
Because Moonlight is uncomfortable with her RLs reading her LJ. Which I get. But she's told ME specifically. Me, her best friend.
Obviously, she's entitled to her privacy. But I'm her best friend, I tell her everything. Literally. Even when I'm not sure she can handle the truth.
Why?
Because I promised. That's why.
And I assumed that it would go both ways.
You know what they say about assumptions.
Of course, I respect her decision to not tell me things.
I just can't understand why it hurts so much.
~Shattered Star
P.S.
In case you were wondering why I call myself Shattered Star, read this poem I wrote.
Four Shattered Stars
The sky is vast and dark and great
The winds are fast and cold
And while these shining rays abate
All we ever do is wait
We wait for missing pieces of a dream
We wait for things we've never seen
We're waiting for the world to breathe
This space right here
Too small to see
This little part inside of me
Contains those things that never rest
Locked inside this awful chest
My heart.
My soul.
My mind.
This empty sham of body
These four fallen, shattered stars
From my sky so dark
My winds so cold
I count those broken pieces everyday
As if they're cherished gold
And no one will ever understand
The four shattered stars
I hold within my hand
They only belong to me
Because I know they'll never see
They will never comprehend
That these four shattered stars
Are everything I am