Illusions (23/25)
Title : Illusions (23/25)
Rating : NC 17
Pairing : Ruki x Kai
Theme : IV - 23 - Posing
Summary : I could hear Ruki sigh and feel my own face burning.
A/N : 2 more to go.. and then a 3 parter of a crack pairing and then.. XD I might write a prologue.. (maybe XD) C&C welcomed. This is from Kai's POV! ^^
Past chapters
Chptr 1, 2 , 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 1 8, 19, 20, 21, 22
I am earlier than normal today. Maybe it is the want to go to studio early, to be able to spend a little bit of quiet time with Ruki who had started the habit of coming in earlier than the rest of us much to the surprise of Uruha who had claimed that the real Ruki had been brainwashed by me and started calling me the evil brainwasher. Aoi and Uruha had taken the news of us being together quite calmly, at least on Aoi’s side who looked like he had expected it all the while. Uruha however had started whacking Aoi for not telling him of the fact before Reita rescued the harried guitarist from the disgruntled one.
I started to push the door wider when I heard voices from within. It was not unfamiliar voices. It was Reita’s and Ruki’s. I know that eavesdropping is something that I shouldn’t do, but then if the subject is myself, can I be blamed for staying on and listening? I leant against the wall, hearing snippets of the conversation wafting through the not fully closed door.
“You two haven’t?”
“No”
“But I thought you two were back together for almost…”
“One month, five days, 3 hours…”
“Okay I get your point. But then why?”
I could hear Ruki sigh and feel my own face burning.
“I do not want to push him into it”
“But it is not like you two haven’t done it before”
“First time, we never told each other of our feelings, at least I didn’t. Just the physical part let it speaks for itself. That didn’t work out great. Second time, I just used him, satiating our bodily needs but draining ourselves emotionally. This third time around, I do not want this to come between us. To pose as something that he has to do for the sake of our relationship”
“Did you tell him this?”
I could catch the exasperated noise from Reita and distinctive shuffling sound of Reita slapping Ruki’s head in annoyance. Yay for Reita. Whack some more sense into Ruki for me. For the past month, I thought that perhaps he no longer finds me desirable, or that I cannot compare to him. That isn’t something that I can upfront ask Ruki, could I? How does one ask their boyfriend whether he still finds him sexually desirable? Or whether is he comparable to another man? Sometimes I feel that my relationship with Ruki is one step forward, two steps backwards, constantly assaulted by both our insecurities which could probably equal an entire nation in some country in Africa.
“You have to start talking to him. Else how can your relationship work?”
“How did you get so smart?”
The silence drone for a long time before Ruki started stammering.
“I am sorry. I didn’t know”
I wish I could open the door right there and then and know what is going through Reita’s face to warrant that reaction from Ruki.
“Don’t flatter yourself. I do not suffer unrequited love for you”
Sighs of relief left both my lips and Ruki’s. My palm flew to my lips when I realized I had been louder than I thought.
“Someone’s here?”
“Don’t think so. So who is the person?”
“Who else could it be?”
The cryptic words were delivered in a dry tone, making me think and presumably Ruki think as well. I dig in the recesses of my mind on who it could be and could only come to one realization.
“Uruha?!”
I clapped my hands over my mouth at my own outburst which echoed with Ruki’s from inside the room. The door flew open then, Reita who looked far more relieved when he saw that it was me. Quickly darting his head around to check that the coast is clear, he pulled me into the room, slamming the door shut behind us. I gave a feeble wave to Ruki who now also flushed, obviously wondering how long had I been eavesdropping on them as I sat down next to him, Reita opposite us. I studied Reita’s face, faint pink tingeing his cheeks, this being one of the rare times that he actually blush. Poor Reita. After all, Uruha already have Aoi.
“I am sorry”
He knew I was apologizing for more than just eavesdropping as he shrugged easily.
“As long as he is happy, I am happy. There are other fishes.. or in this case, seahorses in the sea”
As he turned to reach for his cigarette pack in his bag, I reached forward to reach for his hand which caught a surprised look from both him and Ruki.
“You are really one in a million”
He chuckled embarrassedly, lighting a cigarette, a smile still apparent on his face. I felt Ruki entwined his fingers with mine, turning to see at his soft pleased eyes on me.
“And you are one in a billion”
I flushed, settling for just squeezing his fingers in mine instead of answering.