Illusions (18/25)
Title : Illusions (18/25)
Rating : NC 17
Pairing : Ruki x Kai
Theme : IV - 18 - Precious
Summary : The conflict between the heart and the mind made me even worse mood than before
A/N :. C&C welcomed. This is from Kai's POV! ^^
Past chapters
Chptr 1, 2 , 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17
tWhen I finally returned to the rehearsal room a good 45 minutes later, I wasn’t surprise to meet different reactions from my band members. From worry to concern to nagging. I just brushed them away, reaching for my back pack to get the spare shirt that I usually bring with me since I tend to get very sweaty during practice. Pants wise I have to make do I guess. I accepted the towel that Reita passed to me as I walked to the window, rubbing it through my damp hair as I stripped off the wet shirt, drying myself as I stared out at the grey curtain surrounding the building.
Finally deemed myself dry enough except for the disgustingly wet pants sticking to my cold legs, I pulled on the dry shirt, throwing the damp towel to the side before sitting myself on the drum stool. I ignored the looks from them, especially from Ruki as I reached for my sticks.
“Shall we start?”
There were no longer any arguments at my no nonsense tone as we then started the rehearsal again, We took a break after playing through 3 sets of songs due to one of Reita’s bass strings snapping and him having to go and retune his instruments. It seems like nothing is falling in place today. I admit that my bad temper today was fueled by the stagnant phase I am going through with the stupid vocalist that I still love. But then how does one tell their heart to let go when the heart asks the mind to give it another try, to approach the said vocalist again, to ask for another chance together. The mind however tells the heart that it is being a fool, it is undignified to ask for another chance, it is pitiful of me. The conflict between the heart and the mind made me even worse mood than before.
I ignore the furtive looks that Ruki darted my direction again, walking to the window to again watch the falling rain. The tinkle of the door alerted us to the new presence. The lack of greeting to the newcomer made me turn around, wondering who is it that had entered.
Uruha, Aoi and Reita shared the same facial expression of surprise. Ruki stood, a nervous smile appearing on his face as his eyes darted between Satsuki and me. I turned away, looking out of the window yet again. What is he doing here? I heard Satsuki’s smooth voice greeting the rest of my group members. I willed myself to relax, to ignore the other vocalist in the room.
“Kai-san?”
I turned around, seeing him offering a hand to me in greeting. I stared at it for a full second before clasping it in mine, giving it a quick shake before releasing it, trying very hard to be civil to him. I wonder whether does he know that Ruki was with me when they started sleeping with each other, does he even care if he knew? I ignored his perusal of me as I turned to return to the safety of my drums, not liking how he had been looking at me. It was with dismissal as if I am not worth his attention. Ruki ushered Satsuki out hurriedly, muttering that he would be back soon. I turned away from the now closed door, my eyes meeting Reita’s. I recognized the look in that. It was sorry and pity. It was as if he understood my situation, understood what is going on. I bite down hard on my lower lip, willing myself to not think of what Ruki and Satsuki is probably doing right now.
“Go”
I looked up confusedly at Reita, him looking as serious as ever.
“What do you mean?”
“Go after them”
I was stunned to silence for a brief moment as I searched for something to reply him, an excuse to give him.
“Why…”
“If it means that much to you, go”
I stared into his eyes, him staring right back at me. I offered a grin to which he tentatively replied to.
“Thank you”
He just waved me off as I sprinted out the door. As I darted towards the most obvious choice of where they might be, I then thought through what should have been apparent to me without Reita’s intervention. Ruki is someone that I cannot let go yet. Regardless of everything that had happened, I just couldn’t do it. Since he wouldn’t fight for me, I have to do it instead. I have to make him see that there is still something there for us, something between us that is special and worth fighting for. Something precious.
Rating : NC 17
Pairing : Ruki x Kai
Theme : IV - 18 - Precious
Summary : The conflict between the heart and the mind made me even worse mood than before
A/N :. C&C welcomed. This is from Kai's POV! ^^
Past chapters
Chptr 1, 2 , 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17
tWhen I finally returned to the rehearsal room a good 45 minutes later, I wasn’t surprise to meet different reactions from my band members. From worry to concern to nagging. I just brushed them away, reaching for my back pack to get the spare shirt that I usually bring with me since I tend to get very sweaty during practice. Pants wise I have to make do I guess. I accepted the towel that Reita passed to me as I walked to the window, rubbing it through my damp hair as I stripped off the wet shirt, drying myself as I stared out at the grey curtain surrounding the building.
Finally deemed myself dry enough except for the disgustingly wet pants sticking to my cold legs, I pulled on the dry shirt, throwing the damp towel to the side before sitting myself on the drum stool. I ignored the looks from them, especially from Ruki as I reached for my sticks.
“Shall we start?”
There were no longer any arguments at my no nonsense tone as we then started the rehearsal again, We took a break after playing through 3 sets of songs due to one of Reita’s bass strings snapping and him having to go and retune his instruments. It seems like nothing is falling in place today. I admit that my bad temper today was fueled by the stagnant phase I am going through with the stupid vocalist that I still love. But then how does one tell their heart to let go when the heart asks the mind to give it another try, to approach the said vocalist again, to ask for another chance together. The mind however tells the heart that it is being a fool, it is undignified to ask for another chance, it is pitiful of me. The conflict between the heart and the mind made me even worse mood than before.
I ignore the furtive looks that Ruki darted my direction again, walking to the window to again watch the falling rain. The tinkle of the door alerted us to the new presence. The lack of greeting to the newcomer made me turn around, wondering who is it that had entered.
Uruha, Aoi and Reita shared the same facial expression of surprise. Ruki stood, a nervous smile appearing on his face as his eyes darted between Satsuki and me. I turned away, looking out of the window yet again. What is he doing here? I heard Satsuki’s smooth voice greeting the rest of my group members. I willed myself to relax, to ignore the other vocalist in the room.
“Kai-san?”
I turned around, seeing him offering a hand to me in greeting. I stared at it for a full second before clasping it in mine, giving it a quick shake before releasing it, trying very hard to be civil to him. I wonder whether does he know that Ruki was with me when they started sleeping with each other, does he even care if he knew? I ignored his perusal of me as I turned to return to the safety of my drums, not liking how he had been looking at me. It was with dismissal as if I am not worth his attention. Ruki ushered Satsuki out hurriedly, muttering that he would be back soon. I turned away from the now closed door, my eyes meeting Reita’s. I recognized the look in that. It was sorry and pity. It was as if he understood my situation, understood what is going on. I bite down hard on my lower lip, willing myself to not think of what Ruki and Satsuki is probably doing right now.
“Go”
I looked up confusedly at Reita, him looking as serious as ever.
“What do you mean?”
“Go after them”
I was stunned to silence for a brief moment as I searched for something to reply him, an excuse to give him.
“Why…”
“If it means that much to you, go”
I stared into his eyes, him staring right back at me. I offered a grin to which he tentatively replied to.
“Thank you”
He just waved me off as I sprinted out the door. As I darted towards the most obvious choice of where they might be, I then thought through what should have been apparent to me without Reita’s intervention. Ruki is someone that I cannot let go yet. Regardless of everything that had happened, I just couldn’t do it. Since he wouldn’t fight for me, I have to do it instead. I have to make him see that there is still something there for us, something between us that is special and worth fighting for. Something precious.