70 - Life Lesson Learned (Success, Depression)
Who knew that all you really have to do is ... TRY?!
I was up until 4:30 this morning carrying out an idea I had for a skirt (like the pants, something to which I'm totally new). I was so stunned at the result that, despite it being 4:30 am, I just couldn't stop looking at it. Even now, I keep finding reasons to go back into my sewing room (I've got a sewing room!!!) just so I can stop and gawk at Falana again. (Falana is my dress dummy ... I know.)
Who knew that the first and most important step toward success is to just TRY? How do I know I will be successful at this? Because I love the things I am making. Someone else is going to love them too. I can feel it. And even if for some reason no one else does, I will have a closet full of clothes that I LOVE and won't ever have to buy those items again. Win-win.
It seems that ever since I decided to stop living in my depression, the universe has opened up to bless me and my fingers and my ideas. Is it that simple? Has anything in my life really changed? Are the problems at the root of my depression gone? No, no, and no. Depression is part of my whole being. But you know what? So are my eyes. They're with me everyday. But that doesn't mean I have to spend my time thinking about them. That doesn't mean that before I get up every day and as I walk about every day that I have to bring them to mind. They're just there, doing what they do. I go about my life regardless.
I know that might seem nonsensical to some but that's how I'm actually thinking now. Depression is always with me. I can't get rid of it because it's built into the fibers of me. OK. But in the meantime, I have stuff I have to do. I'm going to do that stuff whether I feel weighed down or not, whether I have to drag myself out of bed or not, whether I have to use a box of tissues to dry my tears while I work or not.
Depression robbed over 40 years from me. It bullied me. It abused me. It ridiculed me. Fine. It won those 40 years of rounds. But I am winning the war. Why? Because I have decided to
TRY.
I was up until 4:30 this morning carrying out an idea I had for a skirt (like the pants, something to which I'm totally new). I was so stunned at the result that, despite it being 4:30 am, I just couldn't stop looking at it. Even now, I keep finding reasons to go back into my sewing room (I've got a sewing room!!!) just so I can stop and gawk at Falana again. (Falana is my dress dummy ... I know.)
Who knew that the first and most important step toward success is to just TRY? How do I know I will be successful at this? Because I love the things I am making. Someone else is going to love them too. I can feel it. And even if for some reason no one else does, I will have a closet full of clothes that I LOVE and won't ever have to buy those items again. Win-win.
It seems that ever since I decided to stop living in my depression, the universe has opened up to bless me and my fingers and my ideas. Is it that simple? Has anything in my life really changed? Are the problems at the root of my depression gone? No, no, and no. Depression is part of my whole being. But you know what? So are my eyes. They're with me everyday. But that doesn't mean I have to spend my time thinking about them. That doesn't mean that before I get up every day and as I walk about every day that I have to bring them to mind. They're just there, doing what they do. I go about my life regardless.
I know that might seem nonsensical to some but that's how I'm actually thinking now. Depression is always with me. I can't get rid of it because it's built into the fibers of me. OK. But in the meantime, I have stuff I have to do. I'm going to do that stuff whether I feel weighed down or not, whether I have to drag myself out of bed or not, whether I have to use a box of tissues to dry my tears while I work or not.
Depression robbed over 40 years from me. It bullied me. It abused me. It ridiculed me. Fine. It won those 40 years of rounds. But I am winning the war. Why? Because I have decided to
TRY.