I know exactly what you mean and i can't find the perfect word for it either. The articles all over the internet on hipsterism seem to sum it up pretty well though, since hipsters seem to be the embodiment of quite a bit of what you've mentioned. http://www.adbusters.org/magazine/79/hipster.html
I've never thought of drugs in that way before, that's a really interesting way of looking at it. On the other hand, there's experiments like one i recently read about but can't seem to locate where a certain time and date was picked for whoever wanted to partake to smoke DMT and attempt to break through in the hopes of meeting each other in another place. And you can't say that there's nothing artificial about that because there's artificiality in everything we do... to live life as art implies, on some level, that there's an audience, which means all we do is for other people on some level and to some extent. Not to say that there's anything wrong with that, when it is acknowledged and contained.
i used to literally believe that there was always an audience. I must have been 10 or so when I first started to suspect that there were cameras everywhere and everyone could see my every move. My theory was refined when The Truman Show came out and I was convinced that I was that dude. Everyone in the world, my parents, my teachers were all in on this. It made me paranoid when I was alone. Who wouldn't be when they know the whole world is watching? I slowly grew out of that delusion, but I'll tell you whats interesting about this story:
I recently made the discovery that this anxiety of never being alone was simply a creative way of misplacing my fear of god. When I was in kindergarten, I was singing songs about how god is everywhere and knows everything I'm doing. A little scare tactic from the rabbi's wife. Anyways, it would have been natural for me to have been scared to be weird or act out when I was alone because god would know. When I began to question god, I wasn't emotionally developed or worldly enough to understand the psychological impacts of being told that you're never alone, so I couldn't question that. So when I was convinced that there were cameras everywhere watching me, I was truly afraid of god watching me, even though I gave god a different name and enterprise.
That was a much lengthier story that I had planned to write. Its a good one though, it blew my mind when I made that connection a few weeks ago.
I still live under the same delusion, but mine isn't caused by a fear of god. I was the kid who never had any friends during their childhood and therefore found solace in books, and later, tv/movies. From living my early years as a third-person omniscient observer, i guess it got ingrained into my mind to the point where i'll often notice a running narrative going just at the edge of my thoughts...
http://www.adbusters.org/magazine/79/hipster.html
I've never thought of drugs in that way before, that's a really interesting way of looking at it. On the other hand, there's experiments like one i recently read about but can't seem to locate where a certain time and date was picked for whoever wanted to partake to smoke DMT and attempt to break through in the hopes of meeting each other in another place. And you can't say that there's nothing artificial about that because there's artificiality in everything we do... to live life as art implies, on some level, that there's an audience, which means all we do is for other people on some level and to some extent. Not to say that there's anything wrong with that, when it is acknowledged and contained.
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I recently made the discovery that this anxiety of never being alone was simply a creative way of misplacing my fear of god. When I was in kindergarten, I was singing songs about how god is everywhere and knows everything I'm doing. A little scare tactic from the rabbi's wife. Anyways, it would have been natural for me to have been scared to be weird or act out when I was alone because god would know. When I began to question god, I wasn't emotionally developed or worldly enough to understand the psychological impacts of being told that you're never alone, so I couldn't question that. So when I was convinced that there were cameras everywhere watching me, I was truly afraid of god watching me, even though I gave god a different name and enterprise.
That was a much lengthier story that I had planned to write. Its a good one though, it blew my mind when I made that connection a few weeks ago.
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