(Untitled)

[40oztofreedom_]

I was enjoying another last cigarette of the night when I heard syncopated wailing that we all recognize as a baby. I was watching the projection of white and blue lights interrupt each other out of a television set. The baby is screaming because he is unhappy, probably in pain. The television must be distracting. I often wonder if we all want to

Comments

[dft]

we suppress our rage
from a very young age.

I was trained like a dog
to not cry like a wolf.

so true. i was reading something about this the other day and i really dont know how to feel about it.

[40oztofreedom_]

well, I like that the baby reminds me when I am in extreme pain (physical or emotional) that my gut reaction is to scream and cry.

I try to turn that primal energy into something constructive on paper but sometimes I feel words aren't really enough. Sometimes I wonder if I use my ability to describe intense emotions as a replacement for truly feeling them.

what were you reading/thinking/feeling about this phenomena?

[dft]

i've been reading bits and pieces of this book called 'the sibling society' which is about how people never fully grow up. and what i think is specific to your post is the part about male anger, and how men come to this oedipal wall at a certain point in their lives where they either become a man that suppresses his anger or a man who indulges it. most suppress but now even those who suppress are still children, not adults.
the author is sometimes very vague in his explanations so a lot of it is interpretive. it's interesting though. he made me think about my dad and my brothers, but not in a good way necessarily :s

[40oztofreedom_]

so are there basically those two options? supress or indulge?

I'd like to think that there is a possibility of coming to terms with my anger and its root causes in order to ovecome it completely. at this point I definitely have to supress some of it because to feel it totally would be socially destructive and I indulge in some of it because its a part of who I am.

so maybe there can be a healthy balance between these two unhealthy reactions? get enough anger out that you don't feel imprisoned by it, but keep enough in to not scare the neighbours. or is that all wrong and two wrongs cannot make a right?

what do you think?

[dft]

according to this guy (cant remember his name), yes. but i think that's oversimplifying it. i mean surely there are other options and different degrees of each. what got me was his talk about the relationship between a father and his children and how his anger might affect them and push them into his cycle of anger. and whether you have a father who is present or absent (in any sense) determines which kind of anger you will have.

i don't think any kind of anger is healthy for anyone. i think it's only destructive, whether its suppressed or indulged. either way i think it has dire consequences and cause people to fight, with themselves and others. i really don't think it's beneficial at all in any way. without anger, you would have some sort of peace inside yourself. and having that peace would be wonderful.

[40oztofreedom_]

of course to be without anger would be best. That would be the goal, but I guess at this point in my life doubt if I will ever completely overcome something that has been such a powerful force in my life. I do believe it is within my power to make that happen, but I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to reach that point