(no subject)
the winds have changed their mind about me
violently pushing me towards a new world where i might find solace of some kind.
I have quit smoking and quit structure. I no longer see in colours because sight is now my least important sense, it has failed me one too many times.
I had a complete emotional, mental breakdown a little over a month ago and like New Orleans, my recovery team is nowhere in sight. the perpertators of my sadness are working to ensure its continuity and fluidity. I will fight back with primal groans and shallow remarks. It's all I've got left in me.
I have quit reading and writing. They sucked up too much of my time and I'm starting my life anew, for real this time. I will eventually come back to it, but for now I have quit writing.
The music i soak up is now off rhythm and slow. I'm wondering about the effect of songs that hit their climax early and try to sustain it, I'm wondering about the effect of that on the sex that the listeners have. Listening lately to music with slow buildups towards emotional climaxes, always makes me think "this was worth it" and i just enjoy. I see anything too fast as being the reason people have bad sex, cause they don't know how to say "not just yet, hold it for a few more minutes" or "lets get to know each other first, shall we?"
all in all, im falling down a mountain and i will eventually reach a solid flat surface, but will i survive the fall?
violently pushing me towards a new world where i might find solace of some kind.
I have quit smoking and quit structure. I no longer see in colours because sight is now my least important sense, it has failed me one too many times.
I had a complete emotional, mental breakdown a little over a month ago and like New Orleans, my recovery team is nowhere in sight. the perpertators of my sadness are working to ensure its continuity and fluidity. I will fight back with primal groans and shallow remarks. It's all I've got left in me.
I have quit reading and writing. They sucked up too much of my time and I'm starting my life anew, for real this time. I will eventually come back to it, but for now I have quit writing.
The music i soak up is now off rhythm and slow. I'm wondering about the effect of songs that hit their climax early and try to sustain it, I'm wondering about the effect of that on the sex that the listeners have. Listening lately to music with slow buildups towards emotional climaxes, always makes me think "this was worth it" and i just enjoy. I see anything too fast as being the reason people have bad sex, cause they don't know how to say "not just yet, hold it for a few more minutes" or "lets get to know each other first, shall we?"
all in all, im falling down a mountain and i will eventually reach a solid flat surface, but will i survive the fall?