Fandoms 16 and 17
[Title] Just Deserts
[Fandom] Harry Potter (film canon)
[Rating] G
[Notes/Summary] The Slytherins resent their role in the Battle of Hogwarts.
The Slytherins sprawled on the dungeon floor in the dim light.
"Thanks a lot, Parkinson," Theodore Nott muttered at last.
Pansy Parkinson scowled in his direction. "Excuse me for trying to save us all from being killed. Excuse me for not wanting to see everyone get... torn to pieces by werewolves or something."
"Except that there was no way your methods were going to work," Theodore said, directing his words to the barred grille in the door. "Couldn't you see they were all out of their minds on the thought of being heroes? They'd never have let you anywhere near Potter."
"I thought at least some of them would have some sense," Pansy said, but she spoke to the floor now. "What do they think is going to happen? Do they think Dumbledore's going to come down and save everyone on a big white cloud? It's You-Know - it's the Dark Lord."
In the shadows, someone whimpered.
"Maybe I didn't give you enough credit," Theodore said, a smile in his voice. "When he wins, he'll be able to see we were unable to do anything. You get to sit out the battle and then profess to him that you did everything you could."
"You think?" Pansy spoke eagerly, then bit her lip, scowled as if to offset that.
"No," Theodore said. "I think he's going to bring the whole castle down stone by stone, and we'll be underneath it. I'd say, next time try thinking like a Slytherin, but there isn't going to be a next time."
Silence fell again.
[Title] Blowing Kisses at my Reflection
[Fandom] Jet Set Radio/Jet Set Radio Future
[Rating] PG
[Notes/Summary] Neither Gum is particularly pleased to meet her other self.
"Oh, come on," Beat said at last. "It's not like this is the first time someone's called you a ho."
Gum turned round and fixed him with a glare. "Yeah, but it's the first time another version of me has. Sorry if that bothers me."
"Does it bother you? I mean, she's past-you. Or alternate-dimension-you, or your grandmother, or whatever... shouldn't you know why she did it?"
Gum rolled her eyes as if the question was too stupid to be considered. Putting a hand up to shade her gaze from the sunset, she squinted at the Tokyo-to view from the garage roof.
"It's so small," she said at last. "It's practically, like... a village."
"Yeah, well, progress, the march of time, yadda yadda. You're dodging the question."
"Because it's a dumb question. I don't know who she is, how am I supposed to know why she's such a bitch? And I was never a prude, anyway -"
"You surprise me."
"Shut up. I happen to like looking hot while painting the backs of police officers. I also happen to like hooking up with guys. I also happen to like the way guys stare. Especially 'cause that usually means they don't notice when you nick their spray paint. Why the hell am I explaining myself to you, anyway? I didn't notice the other-you looking that happy either."
"Other-me doesn't faze... me." Beat frowned at the sentence, but carried on, "It's obvious what happened there. He decided to deal with the bad shit by being nice and hating himself, while I decided to deal with it by being a dick and hating other people. You'll notice he's leading his version of the GGs. On the other hand, I have significantly more balls. You win some, etcetera."
He paused, but Gum didn't offer up any snarky response.
"On the other hand, it does give you a great money-making scheme," he said at last. "There's a big market out there for hot blonde twin action."
"Shut up. I can exploit myself just fine on my own."
Beat smiled. "Good, the abuse returns. I was worried you'd decided you preferred my double."
"Don't rule it out," Gum said, but she spoke listlessly, as if she were thinking about something else.
***
"You can't stay in the bathroom all night," Beat said through the door. "Other people need it, for one thing."
Gum leant against the door, knees to her chest, and scowled, mouth trembling.
"And if you don't come out, I'll have to face evil-me all on my own, and I'm not really up for that. I think he might stab me just for a laugh."
"Oh, give it a rest, he's not that bad," Gum snapped. "He's a professional troll, is all."
"Yeah, well, I'm a professional clicks-on-innocent-looking-links guy. Or... something like that. Besides, he could know all my secrets. Or accidentally kill me and erase himself from existence. Come on, Gum, don't be sad? You're making me shoot my mouth off. She isn't you, any more than he's me."
"That's not the point," Gum snarled. "The point is she shows up with her underwear on display and heavy-duty cleavage and she is me, okay? She looks enough like me that you're all gonna be like, man, wouldn't it be fine if our Gum dressed like that -"
"Only because it would be fine if any fit girl dressed like that -"
"Shut up, Beat!" Gum swallowed, hard, and rubbed a hand across her eyes. "It's like someone found me doing porn movies! Except that I, you know, didn't do porn movies, and it pisses me off when she goes flashing my panties at the entire world and then starts being all oh, look at you, you're such a loser..."
Silence fell for a few moments.
"I guess that would be weird," Beat said at last.
"Yes. It's really weird. It's all right for you, your other self is a jerk. Mine's all cool. And half-naked."
"I'm not going to start comparing Gums," Beat said. "That way lies madness." His voice moved - he was evidently sitting down, back to the other side of the door. "But... you know... they're clearly not us. I mean... even if they are us, they didn't, like, grow up in the same place or do the same things. You heard the stuff they said about the city. So... she might look like you, but so what? Anyone who thinks that means anything about you is an idiot. And this is coming from a professional idiot."
Gum rolled her eyes, but it turned into a smile.
"Besides," Beat said, "just tell 'em you'd get too cold if you dressed like that."
"Right," Gum said. "Why didn't I think of that?" But she got to her feet, and unlocked the bathroom door.
[Fandom] Harry Potter (film canon)
[Rating] G
[Notes/Summary] The Slytherins resent their role in the Battle of Hogwarts.
The Slytherins sprawled on the dungeon floor in the dim light.
"Thanks a lot, Parkinson," Theodore Nott muttered at last.
Pansy Parkinson scowled in his direction. "Excuse me for trying to save us all from being killed. Excuse me for not wanting to see everyone get... torn to pieces by werewolves or something."
"Except that there was no way your methods were going to work," Theodore said, directing his words to the barred grille in the door. "Couldn't you see they were all out of their minds on the thought of being heroes? They'd never have let you anywhere near Potter."
"I thought at least some of them would have some sense," Pansy said, but she spoke to the floor now. "What do they think is going to happen? Do they think Dumbledore's going to come down and save everyone on a big white cloud? It's You-Know - it's the Dark Lord."
In the shadows, someone whimpered.
"Maybe I didn't give you enough credit," Theodore said, a smile in his voice. "When he wins, he'll be able to see we were unable to do anything. You get to sit out the battle and then profess to him that you did everything you could."
"You think?" Pansy spoke eagerly, then bit her lip, scowled as if to offset that.
"No," Theodore said. "I think he's going to bring the whole castle down stone by stone, and we'll be underneath it. I'd say, next time try thinking like a Slytherin, but there isn't going to be a next time."
Silence fell again.
[Title] Blowing Kisses at my Reflection
[Fandom] Jet Set Radio/Jet Set Radio Future
[Rating] PG
[Notes/Summary] Neither Gum is particularly pleased to meet her other self.
"Oh, come on," Beat said at last. "It's not like this is the first time someone's called you a ho."
Gum turned round and fixed him with a glare. "Yeah, but it's the first time another version of me has. Sorry if that bothers me."
"Does it bother you? I mean, she's past-you. Or alternate-dimension-you, or your grandmother, or whatever... shouldn't you know why she did it?"
Gum rolled her eyes as if the question was too stupid to be considered. Putting a hand up to shade her gaze from the sunset, she squinted at the Tokyo-to view from the garage roof.
"It's so small," she said at last. "It's practically, like... a village."
"Yeah, well, progress, the march of time, yadda yadda. You're dodging the question."
"Because it's a dumb question. I don't know who she is, how am I supposed to know why she's such a bitch? And I was never a prude, anyway -"
"You surprise me."
"Shut up. I happen to like looking hot while painting the backs of police officers. I also happen to like hooking up with guys. I also happen to like the way guys stare. Especially 'cause that usually means they don't notice when you nick their spray paint. Why the hell am I explaining myself to you, anyway? I didn't notice the other-you looking that happy either."
"Other-me doesn't faze... me." Beat frowned at the sentence, but carried on, "It's obvious what happened there. He decided to deal with the bad shit by being nice and hating himself, while I decided to deal with it by being a dick and hating other people. You'll notice he's leading his version of the GGs. On the other hand, I have significantly more balls. You win some, etcetera."
He paused, but Gum didn't offer up any snarky response.
"On the other hand, it does give you a great money-making scheme," he said at last. "There's a big market out there for hot blonde twin action."
"Shut up. I can exploit myself just fine on my own."
Beat smiled. "Good, the abuse returns. I was worried you'd decided you preferred my double."
"Don't rule it out," Gum said, but she spoke listlessly, as if she were thinking about something else.
***
"You can't stay in the bathroom all night," Beat said through the door. "Other people need it, for one thing."
Gum leant against the door, knees to her chest, and scowled, mouth trembling.
"And if you don't come out, I'll have to face evil-me all on my own, and I'm not really up for that. I think he might stab me just for a laugh."
"Oh, give it a rest, he's not that bad," Gum snapped. "He's a professional troll, is all."
"Yeah, well, I'm a professional clicks-on-innocent-looking-links guy. Or... something like that. Besides, he could know all my secrets. Or accidentally kill me and erase himself from existence. Come on, Gum, don't be sad? You're making me shoot my mouth off. She isn't you, any more than he's me."
"That's not the point," Gum snarled. "The point is she shows up with her underwear on display and heavy-duty cleavage and she is me, okay? She looks enough like me that you're all gonna be like, man, wouldn't it be fine if our Gum dressed like that -"
"Only because it would be fine if any fit girl dressed like that -"
"Shut up, Beat!" Gum swallowed, hard, and rubbed a hand across her eyes. "It's like someone found me doing porn movies! Except that I, you know, didn't do porn movies, and it pisses me off when she goes flashing my panties at the entire world and then starts being all oh, look at you, you're such a loser..."
Silence fell for a few moments.
"I guess that would be weird," Beat said at last.
"Yes. It's really weird. It's all right for you, your other self is a jerk. Mine's all cool. And half-naked."
"I'm not going to start comparing Gums," Beat said. "That way lies madness." His voice moved - he was evidently sitting down, back to the other side of the door. "But... you know... they're clearly not us. I mean... even if they are us, they didn't, like, grow up in the same place or do the same things. You heard the stuff they said about the city. So... she might look like you, but so what? Anyone who thinks that means anything about you is an idiot. And this is coming from a professional idiot."
Gum rolled her eyes, but it turned into a smile.
"Besides," Beat said, "just tell 'em you'd get too cold if you dressed like that."
"Right," Gum said. "Why didn't I think of that?" But she got to her feet, and unlocked the bathroom door.