Title: I'm Cool?
Pairings: Yoosu, Yunjae, Changmin/Dongwook
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17 (?)
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Action, Smut ( will be warned in the story on where to stop and begin reading- optional read)
Banner: I'd like to thank
sesshy18 or this wonderful banner.
Summary: Kim Junsu is keeping a huge secret. It is top secret so he must not let anyone find out! In reality, he is good at everything just like how we picture superman. He has the looks. He has the hair, the eyes, the face, the muscles, the talent, and the brains. But even though he has all of these gifts, he is tired of the everyday comments and routines. He is tired of girls screaming at him saying “Wow you’re so hot! Oh! You’re so cute. Ah Junsu! Why are you so smart?” And so, Junsu leaves everything behind, his apartment, his school and his parents so that he could start living a brand new life. For once in his perfect life, he wants to be teased and get laughed at. He wants to feel what it is like getting called ugly, fat or nerdy. And because of this, he disguises himself as a geek in the school. Now, he is Xiah Junsu the geek and not Kim Junsu, future heir to the wealthiest corporation in Asia.
Chapter 1: Busted Already?! Chapter 2: Officially A GeekChapter 3: Your Hero During the NightChapter 4: The One Hundred Million Dollar ItemChapter 5: I Own HimChapter 6: The Haunting Past Chapter 7: The Reason for Saving YouChapter 8: What is True Love?Chapter 9: The BetChapter 10: Money Can't Buy EverythingChapter 11: Leave No RegretsChapter 12: They're Coming Back to MeChapter 13: Realize, Remember and BelieveChapter 14: No Chance in a World Full of LiesChapter 15: The Plan Set in MotionChapter 16:The Secret RevealedChapter 17: No More SecretsChapter 18: A Perfect Kim Junsu-Strong and Undefeatable PART AChapter 18: A Perfect Kim Junsu-Strong and Undefeatable PART BChapter 19: Letting Go Chapter 20: It's Time to Change Park Yoochun! PART AChapter 20: It's Time to Change Park Yoochun! PART B Chapter 21: Problems Before the Storm Chapter 22: Love Over Pride PART A Chapter 22: Love Over Pride PART B Chapter 23: Deceit and Improvisation PART A Chapter 23: Deceit and Improvisation PART B Chapter 24: A Dead End? Chapter 25: The Real Monster to Fear PART A Chapter 25: The Real Monster to Fear PART B Chapter 26: The Unreachable Dream
“Come on Junsu, both of us know you’re not going to press that button,” Siwon chuckled and found his way back to his chair. He sat back, eyeing and challenging Junsu.
“Try me,” Junsu shot back with his cold words. Being the cautious man that he was, Junsu also followed and sat at the empty seat across from Siwon.
He knew there was no room for carelessness. He kept the apparatus close to his chest with his thumb ready to press it given whatever circumstance may occur.
“My bargain is for a change of scenery. We’ll move this meeting outside…” Junsu paused. “With your permission of course.”
“What’s your plan Junsu?” Siwon sat back down and placed the briefcase down on the table. He then looked at his men and gave them a signal unknown to Junsu.
“Where’s the fun in that if I told you what I’m thinking? Isn’t it fun to be on the edge?”
“Touche,” Siwon spoke with sarcasm. “All is fun until you die. Then nothing seems to matter anymore.”
“I didn’t come here to die Choi. I came here to save Yoochun,” Junsu coldly said. “It’s time that I fight for something I need.”
“Need?” Siwon laughed. He stood up to where Yoochun was across the ring and dragged him towards Junsu. “You need this guy? You got to be kidding.” He laughed some more and once he had his fill of amusement, he sat back down in front of Junsu. “Unfortunately for you, I like the scenery here so we’ll stay here. However…” Siwon paused and looked to his right towards the elevators. “If you’re feeling uncomfortable then you wouldn’t mind if we bring along your friends…” Siwon added on. “That should make you feel better right?”
He pointed to the elevators that just unloaded two familiar faces.
“You…” Junsu held in his bursting anger.
“Now we dragged on a couple more lives that would be placed in your hands,” Siwon jokingly said. “The more the merrier!”
Two of his guards then brought up a couple of chairs and put one on each of his side.
“We have to make everyone feel comfortable now right?”
Junsu did not feel like commenting. All his focus was centered on the button. If he removed his thumb over this control, it would be as if he released his control over everyone. The ball was still on his side although barely there.
Junsu watched as Jae and Changmin were pushed down to the ring and was forced to sit down on each of his side.
“Sorry Su,” Jae laughed it off. “You told me to just stand outside and I followed but all of a sudden lots of men heavy loaded with rifles came out the entrance doors. I couldn’t really do anything but comply.” He shrugged nonchalantly.
“You don’t need to tell me anything,” Junsu replied with an expressionless face not bothering to glance at Jae. He was confident that man was still well kept together. At least more than him. “Just get up and go,” he then added.
“Like I have a choice right now,” Jae answered back with sarcasm. “I can’t leave here.”
“Let me say this one more time Jae,” Junsu paused. “Get up and go for it.” He then stared him down hoping he could decode his message. “Use your brain this time around because this is far more serious than our fun games.”
“Junsu, I don’t think you need to remind me of this bleak atmosphere hanging around the air. I just need to take a look at how black and blue Yoochun is and I feel like shutting up,” Jae casually said, taking Junsu’s words by the surface. He wasn’t too affected by the seriousness of this situation.
“What the hell? We stayed outside because we were worried about you and this is how you treat us?” Changmin butted in, getting a read of what Junsu was trying to say. He played along to create an opportunity for Junsu to let Jae catch on. “Don’t forget--”
Junsu stood up and eyed Changmin angrily.
Following his action, Changmin also stood his ground.
“What the hell is your problem?” Changmin cocked his head at him.
“How could you guys get caught?” Junsu raised his voice. “I had my perfect plan and here you are getting your ass busted in here. What the hell is my problem? Ask me that again after you’ve thought about what you did.”
“Listen here Kim Junsu, you--” Changmin finally yelled and lost it but was cut off by Junsu’s fist.
“No you listen Changmin,” Junsu breathed in, still keeping his thumb on the trigger button.
Was that really necessary? Changmin thought to himself. That hurt like a bitch.
“Fuck no,” Changmin wiped his blood stained lips and punched Junsu back causing him to land on Jae who was sitting down watching the scene unfold.
“Enough!” Siwon yelled out in frustration. “What the fuck are you guys doing right now?”
“Yeah… Junsu,” Jae agreed confused. “What the hell? And Changmin, don’t punch him back! You know better than that.”
Junsu began to peel away from Jae. But during that split second, he dropped a knife on his hand from the inside of his sleeve and placed it in Jae’s left pocket.
Standing up, he then eyed Jae who was surprised finally getting what Junsu told him.
“Just get up and go Jae,” Junsu breathed in deep as he also wiped the blood away from his lips.
“Guards!” Siwon yelled. It was a signal that all guns be aimed at each of them. “Junsu, I didn’t bring them here so you guys could have a cat fight. Now give me that trigger and I’ll let you all go.”
“Like hell I’d believe you,” Junsu spat out at him. “I know perfectly well the extent of the hate that you feel. And if ever did I get the upper hand, I’d kill you off. I’m sure it would be the same for you too.”
“I just want to shoot you to death Kim Junsu,” Siwon mumbled out as he looked down to hide his growing anger and frustration. He was clearly angry at the stalemate.
“Sir!” a guard called from the side. “We caught Se7en.”
“Great!” Siwon laughed. “I’m slowly handicapping your force Kim Junsu. I’ll make sure to get rid of all your cards and burn them all. I want you to feel cornered and feel so helpless that you’ll beg me to keep you alive.”
“We found him lurking around the entrance.”
“Bring him here,” Siwon commanded.
“Move,” they heard the guard yell out as he pushed Dongwook slightly to inch forward.
“No,” Dongwook refused to budge.
Hearing his disobedience, Siwon sighed. “Drag him here if you have to.”
“Get moving,” the guard once again commanded but Dongwook refused to move. “You leave me no choice.”
The armed man gave him a paralyzing kick from behind causing Dongwook to fall and roll down the flight of the stairs that led to the ring.
He groaned in pain finally reaching the bottom. “You’ll pay for this Siwon…” he said as he stood up slowly.
“I have no debt to pay Dongwook,” Siwon laughed. “You betrayed me and you’re only paying the price. Just come here and join these weaklings.’
“What if I refuse?” Dongwook challenged him.
“Shoot him,” Siwon ordered his guards.
“No!” Changmin banged his fist on the table as he screamed in fear of Dongwook’s life. “No!” He said one more time, tears welling up his eyes as he stared Siwon down.
“Stand down Changmin,” Junsu ordered him. “Stand down.”
After calming Changmin, Junsu then looked at Dongwook. “Come here,” he said with his unshakened voice.
Dongwook gritted his teeth and breathed out. It hurt his pride to follow whatever Siwon commanded him for another time but he had no choice. He dragged his sore body with his will to the left side of the ring where everyone was.
“The gang is here,” Siwon commented. He was thoroughly enjoying himself. “Now Junsu, I know you have no more cards left. Give me that trigger and I promise I’ll let you walk out.”
“Only me?” Junsu laughed. “How kind of you.” He laughed some more but all in a split second, his face frowned. “Let me take you up on that offer.”
He took the trigger from his right hand and stuck it out for Siwon to take.
“I knew you’d come around Junsu,” Siwon chuckled. “We’re both the same you and I.”
“God no,” Junsu shot those words out and pressed the trigger.
“No!” Everyone heard Siwon scream out loud in attempts to grab the trigger away from Junsu.
All of a sudden, an explosion at the right side of the ring occurred where Dongwook entered wiping out the guards on that side. It was small enough to not wipe out the whole floor and catch everyone off guard.
Everyone had their eyes closed, all except for Junsu’s party catching on that this bomb was only a distraction.
In that split second, Jae got up and went for it just as Junsu told him to. He took the knife out of his pocket, got up and went for Siwon. In a swift motion, Jae got behind his target and held the knife against his neck before anyone could even shoot.
“Don’t you dare fucking shoot or I’ll remove this guy’s head out of his body!” Jae held the knife at Siwon’s nape close enough causing a shallow cut on his skin. Blood started to drip down to Siwon’s white dress shirt. “Tell them Siwon or I’ll end your life right here right now.”
“How about let’s all die!” Siwon yelled.
“Who are you kidding,” Jae laughed. “If you were ready to die, you would have shot us a long time ago. Now tell your guards to drop their weapons and throw them away.”
“Fuck no!”
Hearing his answer, Jae put a lot more pressure on the knife making a whole lot more blood to flow out.
“Drop your weapons and throw them!” Siwon managed to squeak out in frantic. “Where did that fucking mini bomb come from?!” he mumbled down his breath.
Dongwook heard those words and smirked. “I accidentally dropped it as I got kicked off a flight of stairs,” he spoke, emphasizing the word accidentally. One of Junsu’s back up plan was sent in a sentence to his phone telling him to get caught and drop a mini bomb at least ten meters away from them. In any case, he didn’t actually know what the situation was but he knew that if he did his job, things will run according to plan.
“Good boy,” Jae smiled. “Now Junsu, grab Yoochun. Changmin, grab that case. We’re getting out of here.”
Junsu walked towards the injured Yoochun and helped him stand. However, the guy was too out of it due to the pain. He knew Yoochun probably didn’t know what was left and right anymore.
“Yoochun,” Junsu whispered on his ear. “Stay with me. Five more minutes please. Just stand up and take one step at a time.”
And as if a miracle occurred, Yoochun got on to his feet allowing for Junsu to wrap his arms around him. Dongwook followed and grabbed Yoochun’s other arm at the other side for support.
“Alright Siwon, let’s be nice and do this quietly okay?” Jae breathed out on his ear. “I can end your life in less than a second.”
Junsu and Dongwook started to drag the injured Yoochun to the west exit. Each stair that they had to climb to the nearest elevator drained the stamina out of them. Yoochun was a dead weight right now but he couldn’t just leave him behind.
Reaching the last stair, Junsu took a deep breath and with determination continued to drag Yoochun to the elevator. They had to hurry before someone here made an error.
Dongwook pushed the button and the elevator doors went up. They quickly went inside and Changmin followed behind them. Jae had to travel backwards and drag Siwon by his knife just to make sure no one tried anything funny.
Before they knew it, there was only a few steps left to the elevator making them another step closer to getting out of here.
“Jae…” Siwon whispered out. “I’m going to kill you…”
“Don’t talk!” Jae roughed him up by pushing the knife a bit more to his neck.
“I hope you die...” Siwon yelled out.
“What the hell are you--” Jaejoong’s eyes widened at the red dot he saw on his right arm that held the knife. He was definitely being sniped right now but there was no way in hell he was going to let Siwon go. They wouldn’t be able to escape the guards upstairs making all of this futile.
Bang.
The shot was fired and a shot of pain ran through Jae’s right arm making him drop the knife he held. Taking this opportunity, Siwon elbowed him on his gut and tried to punch him but Jae dodged to his left while holding his disabled right arm. He quickly ran to the elevator and Siwon followed in pursuit.
The rustling and bustling of Siwon’s me trying to get to their weapons could be heard and commands and orders issued from across the floor.
As soon as Jae got inside the elevator, Siwon held the door open. “You won’t get away!” he yelled out as he took his eyes off of them and commanded his troops. “Guards! Take them!”
Siwon faced back only to see a gun pointed at his head.
“You better get your hand off that door. Step back now!” Changmin threatened him with a straight face.
Siwon did exactly as he was told. Before the guards were able to get their weapons and aim, the doors closed and for at least now, they were home free.
It was the longest elevator ride of their lives.
Each every single one of their breaths could be heard as their adrenaline took over their senses. They could only wish that the elevators were fast enough before Siwon’s men could be able to jam the system.
“Agh!” Jae screamed in agony of his pain. He leaned against the wall of the elevator and slowly slid down to the floor, crutching his wound.
Seeing Jae in disaster, Changmin took the tie off his neck and tied it above Jae’s wound.
“Stop that!” Jae shrieked in pain. “Right now, I want to cut off my arm. I want it off and I don’t want anything to do with it.”
“Shut your trap Jae,” Changmin clenched his teeth as he saw the deep flesh wound. “You need this arm and you can’t lose more blood than you already have.”
“Agh!” Jae yelled once more as Changmin roughly tightened the knot.
“Get yourself together Jae, we’re running out of time. We’ll have more company when we get out of this elevator,” Junsu finally spoke.
“It’ll be tough with Yoochun barely walking!” Dongwook said as he eyed Junsu looking for plans.
“Leave me,” Yoochun breathed out. “Please. Just go. There’s no need for you to lessen your chance of living because I can barely walk!”
“Dongwook,” Junsu paused. “Let Yoochun go. I’ll take care of him.”
Dongwook did as he was ordered.
“Okay,” Junsu looked at Yoochun. “We’re going to live through this okay? Even if it means that I have to haul you over my back. So just shift and wrap your arms around my neck. Quickly. We’re almost there.”
Not having the energy to argue. Yoochun did as he was told and Junsu effortlessly carried him onto his back.
“Sorry Junsu,” Yoochun burried his head on the crook of Junsu’s neck. “I didn’t listen and treated you so bad…”
“Don’t start Yoochun. I’m sure what I’ve put you through is not anywhere as close to here,” Junsu tilted his neck towards Yoochun’s head. “I also have many things to say to you and to everyone here but I’ll hold back till later. We just have to live through this.”
And as he finished his sentence, the elevator doors opened. Everyone readied their legs to run and one by one they rushed out. It was at least a hundred metres to the doors and he knew Siwon would be taking the other elevator to follow with his guards. That was the only way the elevator wouldn’t be jammed right now. Thirty three floors to go down would take long and by the time they’d reach the first floor, they’d be long and gone.
“Let’s go!” Junsu yelled out. He just ran and ran. However, getting halfway to the entrance he slowed down.
Where were all the guards placed on this floor?
It was unusually quiet. There were no guards like before when he entered.
Where the hell were they?
Looking back, Junsu’s heart dropped as he saw the elevator door next to the one they took open revealing Siwon and a handful of his guards.
“Junsu! Keep fucking running!” Jae who was way ahead of him screamed. “Keep running!”
Getting himself together, Junsu ran as fast as he could.
It wasn’t long before shots started to fire.
“Agh!” Junsu yelled out in pain. He was grazed by a bullet on his outer leg. His scream made Yoochun’s arm tighten around him but that only made him realized his desire to reach outside and get inside his car.
Jae held the door open for them and when Junsu and Yoochun got through, Jae knew the time of relief was within their reach.
He was about to scream in happiness but all of a sudden, Junsu dropped pace. And he noticed it.
“Keep running--” Jae was about to yell out, holding his wounded arm. But as soon as he looked up in front of him where their car originally was, at least fifty armed men armed covered in bullet proof jackets stood in front of them in shooting position. Was this Siwon’s men positioned around their cars?
“What the hell!” Jae screamed and his knees became weak. He knelt down on the ground with his energy drained. “This is not fair! Just kill me now then!”
It didn’t take long for Siwon and his men to go through those doors too.
Now, they were in between fifty armed men in firing position and Siwon’s guards that slowly flowed out of the building.
The situation became more peculiar when Siwon’s men looked as if they were also frozen and caught by surprise. No one was firing or aiming at them. Instead, by the look on their faces, they were more surprised by the same scene that shocked Jae.
It appeared that these men were also unfamiliar to Choi Siwon.
“Did you set this up Kim Junsu?” Siwon laughed out loud in disbelief. “Was this why you wanted to go outside for your bargain? Was this your trump card?”
Junsu didn’t answer. In his mind, he answered ‘no’ to all these questions. These were definitely not Siwon’s men. But now, who did they belong to?
“The quantity of your force doesn’t matter,” Siwon cocked his head for his guards to shoot. “I’ll use you all as hostage. You’re still far ways away from your troop and are still defenseless.”
There was silence between them. Was this another stalemate?
Junsu didn’t know what to do. The force behind him was not shooting at him nor were they shooting at Siwon. Whose men were they?
However, all that was cleared up when Yunho came out from behind the fifty armed men behind them.
“Yunho?” Junsu whispered out loud. “Are these men yours?”
The man walked to them with much resolve with his arms up and wide open to indicate he was unarmed and he meant to harm. Reaching Junsu’s group, he went up to Changmin.
“Give me the case,” he said as he stuck out his hands in front.
“Yunho…” Jae spoke as he was handed the case. “Don’t do whatever you’re about to do.”
Hearing this, Yunho looked down on Jae with his stern eyes and the injured man on the ground could only be left speechless. It looked like Yunho wanted to say a lot of things but he held back and turned away from him.
As he turned away, Yunho’s eyes were caught by Junsu’s.
“Jae called me for help. I’m only a messenger Junsu,” Yunho sighed as he placed his hand on Junsu’s shoulder. “These men are commanded by your father after I contacted him for assistance. I’m sorry for it but I didn’t know what else to do to save everyone’s lives.”
Junsu closed his eyes. Even if he lived through this, now his life will be jailed by his father. Biting his tongue and his fears, he remained speechless and just gave a smile of defeat.
“Alright, wish me luck,” Yunho walked away from them and headed towards Siwon’s group with his hands up and wide open once again.
“Finally!” Siwon smiled. “Someone with common sense!”
“I’ll leave this briefcase here in exchange of letting them walk out alive,” Yunho spoke clearly. “Once you have received this briefcase, you can retreat in your building where the rest of your men are and then these men will not pursue you.”
“Accepted,” Siwon spoke in an instant.
“Very well then,” Yunho held out the briefcase in front of Siwon for him to take.
And just as planned, Siwon took it and turned his back first while his men followed in pursuit walking backwards with their aim still pointed at Junsu.
When all of them reached the inside, the men that stood behind Junsu lowered their rifles and stood in place.
“Yoochun…” Junsu finally was able to take a breather and he fell on his knees letting Yoochun go from behind his back. Facing him, he pulled Yoochun into his embrace and sobbed. “Damn it Yoochun… this didn’t have to happen! I didn’t want you to get hurt and now look at you…!” He held onto him tighter as tears of frustration and anger fell down from his face. All the emotions that he has worked hard to keep while they were face to face with Siwon flowed out in an instant. He couldn’t show at least one drop of worry so now, when he actually had the right to be able to cry, he couldn’t hold back the tears that were about to fall. “I didn’t want this to happen! I just wanted to be with you! I’m so sorry…You were right! I’m a fucking fool and I having nothing besides money…” Junsu paused to look at the state of Yoochun. “Oh God, I’ll get you fixed up quick. I’m so sorry! I know that...I knew that you’ll be in trouble but I still didn’t care and got you into this mess. Yoochun, I’m so sorry,” Junsu cried as he held Yoochun in his arms. I’m so sorry!”
“Junsu…” Yoochun chuckled and tried to laugh ignoring the pain he felt from his broken ribs. “Junsu…” he called his name out loud again as he stroke the man’s head. “Don’t apologize. I’m the one who should be apologizing…” he paused to breathe. “I’m sorry Junsu. You told me to stay away but I didn’t. I threw myself into this mess.” He coughed to clear the pooling blood in his system. “I should be the one who is sorry! I’m sorry for existing in your life. Sorry for not being able to stay away. If I didn’t exist, none of this would have happened to you… Now you’ve lost your share of the company all because of me…” Yoochun breathed out, his eyes squinting to the shots of pain he felt every time he moved. “I’m sorry Junsu. Really sorry. I tried to ignore it. I did. I tried to ignore this feeling lingering in my heart for you. But the more I did, the more I thought of you! If this is what love is, I think it’s too persistent and overwhelming. And if this is really love that I feel for you, I’m so sorry if I did...fall in love…” Yoochun just spoke out the words that came to his mind. It didn’t even matter if he knew what he was saying.
After hearing all this, Junsu pulled back from the embrace to look at Yoochun.
“What the hell are you saying?” Junsu’s eyes scrunched his brows trying to hold back the tears that were falling. He knew he shouldn’t let go of his emotions here in front of a crowd but there was no stopping his feelings now. If he didn’t let it out, then there might not be a chance to say it again. “You are one of the few people that gave me something to live for… besides money, besides living for the fame, you out of all people told me that I didn’t have it all. You out of all people made me realize that I seemed to have it all but in reality, I had nothing. You told me I couldn’t buy life and I had to live it myself so you gave me something to live for! So how could you apologize for existing in my life…How dare you?!” Junsu with anger and sadness cried in front of him, clenching his fists. “How could you Yoochun?!”
Yoochun smiled sadly at the scene unfolding in his eyes. He raised his arm to Junsu’s face, wincing at the pain shooting all across his body, and wiped away the tears that fell. “Junsu, don’t cry. Please. Don’t stain the image that people have for you. You’re strong willed. You are confident. You are invincible. And no one can tell you otherwise. You and I know that if we didn’t meet, your life would still be the same balanced life that it was! The same Kim Junsu that everyone strongly admires. The same person that had everything in control. Now look at you! Just because of wanting to save me, you’re covered in blood, dirt and sweat. There’s too much of a gap between us that I can’t even bring myself to love you…You shouldn’t soil your name nor your hands any longer.”
“Yoochun… please don’t say that!” Junsu’s tears flowed out even more.
“So really Junsu, as much as you and I want to be together, we really can’t….” Yoochun’s tears also welled up in his eyes but he held back and took many shallow breaths to calm him down. “And because of that Junsu, I’m also sorry for loving you…” he paused to take another breath. “I’m grateful that you were--”
“What are you saying Yoochun?” Junsu cried as he held a smile on his face. “You didn’t even say that you love me and yet you dare say that you’re sorry for loving me? You can’t--”
“Let me finish…” Yoochun cut him off. “I haven’t spoken my heart out but tonight, I’m feeling like it. So hear me out okay? It might also be the last time I get to speak to you like this.”
Junsu bit his tongue to hold himself from speaking out loud and Yoochun took this silence as a sign that the man was willing to listen.
“I’m grateful for you Kim Junsu,” Yoochun smiled at him gently. “And I love you.” As he said these words, he once again took the back of his hands and wiped the tears that lingered on Junsu’s cheeks that seemed to have fallen at a faster rate. “And as much as I’m overjoyed that I finally realized and got to say this to you, I am sorry. Sorry that I can’t chase this feeling that I have for you. I’ll leave my words in the air and I won’t breathe it in. I’m not going to chase after these words and I’m going to leave it and run away from it.”
“No…” Junsu grabbed Yoochun’s hands that were on his face and gripped it tight. “No...no...no…” He refused to listen to anything else that he wanted. “What I feel...and what you feel… I know it’s enough! Why can’t it be enough?” The frustration of not being able to do anything to keep what you really needed almost drove Junsu mad. “I’m just Junsu. I’m a human being just like you trying to find their place, to find peace and to find someone who cares for them! I’m a normal human being just like you! Even if I’m whatever you say I am, I’m also a person who is capable to love and be loved. I’m a person that can get angry and impatient. I’m a person that can fuck things up. Can’t you see Yoochun? I’m a person just like you!”
“I can’t be in the same level as you...Kim Junsu. I can’t,” Yoochun shook his head from side to side, fighting back the tears that were about to fall. “Reality, Junsu. It’s reality. Life isn’t a fairy tale and a commoner like me cannot be with someone like you. I’m no Cinderella.” Yoochun whispered out loud. His words hurt but he had to say it to make not only Junsu accept but also his heart. He had to say it out loud so that his heart could hear it too. “And it’s because--”
He was cut off.
“It’s because you’re Kim Junsu,” a man spoke from behind them.
“Dad?” Junsu freaked out and tried to stand but the pain from his leg that was scraped by the bullet dragged him back down.
“The reality that Yoochun can see,” he spoke as he got closer to them, “why can’t you see it?”
Junsu looked down. He could not bring himself to stare at his father’s eyes with his own that reflected his defeat. His pride didn’t let him do it.
He remained silent, letting Yoochun’s hands go and gave distance between them.
“In summary of what this garbage said,” Mr. Kim spoke and stood adjacent to the both of them, “It’s because you are Kim Junsu! You are perfect and I raised you perfect. Having him beside you who has nothing but his drive to kill his father is a stain to your name. He’s an insect for crying out loud and you are a human being. An insect and a human being together is illogical! He is not a human being but you Kim Junsu, are. You’re on top of the food chain!”
“You bastard!” Junsu screamed in anger as he stood up and threw a connecting punch at his father.
After landing that punch, his father’s men rushed behind him and twisted his arm.
“Ah!” Junsu yelped in pain.
But at a wave of his father’s hand, his guards let him go.
“Yoochun is not an insect!” Junsu yelled in anger.
“Junsu, stop it…” Yoochun spoke as loudly as possible but Junsu ignored him.
“What makes him different other than the money he carries?” Junsu threw words out in his anger as he rushed his father again, but this time, he was held back by his men.
“Of course having money is important,” Junsu’s father answered him smugly. “But more than that, he doesn’t even know how to live!!” It was now his father’s turn to raise his voice. “He doesn’t even want to live. This you-can’t-buy-life lesson that he told you… It’s true but he’s been wasting his life everyday. He has no sense of value nor anything he wants to do to create his own legacy. All of us here know that a life wasted is a life not worth having. I’ve taught you that and that’s what we live by. And I refuse for you to be with him. How dare you put him on equal terms with us when all he knows how to do is waste his life away? The worst thing than not having money is having no soul.” After saying these words to Junsu, he looked at Yoochun. “In my eyes, you’re already dead.”
Those words stabbed Yoochun’s heart. The words were not created to spite him. It was said to speak the truth because it was the truth.
"It's due to insects like you that do useless things that make us fortunate so unfortunate," Junsu's father continued to talk. "Because of you, my daughter died. It's because of you that you've thrown my son into confusion of who he ought to be. And it's because of you that, a person of high position such as I, stand here to clean up this mess that you've made. Your lousy decisions make trouble for those who are fortunate. So if you want to die that much, then make sure to die by yourself and not involve any of these people in your meaningless shinanigans. The you in the past is the same now and will be in the future. I don't expect any change from you so do me the favor of getting rid of your existence on this earth before you do anything unpleasant again."
That was also the truth.
All these years, he wasn’t even living at all! He waited for the days to pass by and did nothing. He was stuck in the nightmares of his past that he refused to see what the future held for him nor the present that he lived in. And when he finally took a step forward, he made a reckless decision and caused trouble for everyone around him.
It was the truth.
As much as he wanted to rebuke those words…
It was the truth.
“Yoochun!” Junsu yelled at him as to try to prevent him from sinking into the abyss thinking about those words. He shook off the men that held his arms to keep him from committing further violence towards his father and kneeled in front of Yoochun. Junsu grabbed his shoulders forcing the man to look at him. At least then, he knew that Yoochun would be paying attention to him.
“Don’t fucking listen to him! You are as human as anyone could get! I know it! Money is just money! Whatever I didn't have, you had! You taught me many things of how to live like a human being! So don't think of yourself as useless!” Junsu continued to yell. “You may think that you weren’t living but even so, you were loved weren’t you? You may have felt alone but at least you were free. And like now, you’re still free to live! Yoochun… you’re as human as anyone...believe me okay?” Junsu desperately tried to convince Yoochun of his own revelation of truth. "I don't care about your background. I care about you-- The person who was able to stomp on my pride yet still make me feel like I'm nothing less than who I am, the brave you that puts another person before himself and the you that was able to love someone like me even though I've lost all hope of the thought of love! I don't care about what you've done, how rich you are and who gave birth to you! As far as I know, the blame for my sister's death is not yours and I've clearly said that to you many times. I don't care if it was you who ran in front of the car. I could care less because that was nothing you were able to control. What I care about is you Park Yoochun so don't listen to whatever he says. You're a human being just like me capable to live! You fill the big empty gaps in my heart that my world couldn't fill." Junsu paused. “I was already suffocating in this life so I left it to find some spark to keep me alive...then I found you! You gave my dull life color! You made it seem like I was ready to face another day of my own life. And right now, I want to be that person in your life Yoochun. I’ll be the best adventure of your life! Can’t I be enough to fill your world with happiness to live on? Can't I be enough, Yoochun?”
Yoochun looked up to Junsu’s eyes. How he wished he could hug him tight but guilt dragged him back.
“Changmin,” Yoochun spoke as he broke eye contact with Junsu and looked away as if nothing happened. He ignored Junsu’s question and was now just attempting to run away just as he said he would.
The discouraged Junsu let go of his shoulders in disbelief and even in shock.
“Help me up,” Yoochun added.
Changmin who was flabbergasted by this whole thing just went and did as he was told.
Ands they got up, the feeling of his broken ribs poking his organs made him cry silently.
“Let’s go…” he mouthed as he turned his back away from Junsu and every word and feeling that he wanted to say.
“Yoochun!” Junsu called out and gently reached his elbow. “Aren’t I enough? Can’t you stay?”
Yoochun bit his lips. Even if he did accept, what then? Junsu’s name would be stained just having an insect like himself near him.
“Please,” Junsu begged desperately, his voice dripping full of it. “Please Yoochun. Say something. Anything.”
Changmin turned around for Yoochun to face Junsu.
With all of his strength, Yoochun held Junsu’s hand on his elbow tightly. “You’re enough Junsu. You are more than enough,” he paused to look at Junsu’s face one more time, “but your father is right. I am not worthy of what you have to offer.”
Having heard this answer, Junsu’s heart and soul was totally defeated. “Yoochun…” he closed his eyes as he wished that all of this was only a dream. However everything was the opposite. Everything was real except only this time, Yoochun became his dream. Yoochun became his dream that he wouldn’t be able to reach.
There was absolutely nothing in this life that will ever fill this hole that was dug deep into his heart.
“Kim Junsu,” his father called from behind him with a smug look. “Let insects realize that they are insects. I’m sure he knows where he belongs so why can’t you accept that you are Kim Junsu?”
Junsu remained silent but Changmin spoke to completely finish this night for Yoochun.
“Mr. Kim, with your permission, I’d like to take Park Yoochun to the hospital to get treated,” he spoke in caution of his words hoping that nothing rude escaped his lips.
“I want that man to disappear for good. You got that Shim?” Junsu’s father spoke to him. He then eyed Yoochun. “Once you’ve accepted that you are an insect, then you’ll live and die an insect.”
Yoochun clenched his fists. He was angry at the man who was able to stab him with only his words and he was also angry at how useless he was. In a matter of a few minutes, he thought of many ways of how he could live but where would he even start? How many years would it take for him to be worthy for the name of Kim Junsu?
“I apologize for all the trouble we have caused tonight Mr. Kim,” Yoochun bowed his head down and then looked at the man straight on. “I will...take...my...leave--”
Yoochun dragged his words out as his pushed Changmin away. He was confused at what he saw at first but after registering the image in his mind, he knew he was the only one who saw it. Getting his body untangled from the man that supported him, he ran towards Junsu’s father as fast as his weak legs could take him.
As soon as he made it to his front, Yoochun gasped for air as a bullet silently pierced his back, boring a hole deep into his body. His hands shot to his left chest as he opened his mouth to help him breathe through the pain. He fell forward but was caught by none other than Junsu’s dad. The man kept him standing steady with Yoochun’s head resting on his shoulder. It took a while for everything to register into everyone’s heads. The intensity of the pain knocked out Yoochun right away and blood not only dripped from the wound but also escaped his lips.
“Yoochun!” Junsu screamed in panic but was held back by the guards to further keep everyone under control.
“He’s been sniped!” Junsu’s father yelled out to his guards as he tossed Yoochun to the closest guard beside him. “There’s a sniper on that building!”
“Mr. Kim,” the guard spoke with haste. “We’ll clear out of this open space behind those walls.”
“Got it. For attempted murder, make sure Choi Siwon is caught,” Mr. Kim commanded. He then looked at the unresponsive Yoochun in front of him. “Take him with us.”
“Understood,” the guard responded. He then gave quick commands as he held Yoochun on his arms. “Squad one, cover the party. Make sure they are not being marked. Squad two, raid the building, cover the exits and arrest every living body in that building.”
In a matter of seconds, guards quickly pushed every single one of them together in a group and formed a barrier between the possible angles that the sniper could be at. They then scurried over to the closed area just a little ways from where they were.
Everyone was in a state of panic as they ran towards the other side of the walls that barricaded the building.
“Agh!” a guard yelled out. He had been shot.
Junsu could only watch as the men that surrounded them screamed in terrible pain and fell to the ground because of it.
Reaching there, the guard that carried Yoochun went a further distance from them.
Everyone wanted to rush over to the guard but were held back.
“All of you have to stay here until the area is cleared and until we can get transportation for all of you,” one of the guards that surrounded them ordered.
“But Yoochun!” Junsu in panic pushed through the guards. “Yoochun! Let me through!” He ordered but was still held back. “All of you are heartless!” He finally lost it.
“Get a grip!” his father went up to him and landed a punch on his face. “Remember who you are.”
“I know who I am!” Junsu screamed in agony of wanting to see Yoochun. “I finally learned who I really am!!” he repeated once more. “But it’s not who you want me to be!”
“See all these guys behind you?” his father pointed with his head. “Kim Jaejoong, Shim Changmin, Choi Dongwook and Jung Yunho. They’ve known this Yoochun that you speak of for a longer time and yet they are standing there quietly because even though they want to run to that man, the best thing for all of us to be alive is to stand here quietly until we get to a safer place! You’re still pre-mature Kim Junsu. You can brag about your name all you want but as you are now, you can’t protect anyone. All you are now, your name, your fame, your pride and your money are all still baseless. You still need me to survive and until you can hold your ground by yourself, I’m not letting you go until you’re capable of doing at least that.”
“I know!” Junsu retaliated as he closed the distance between his father and himself. He mercilessly pounded on the man’s chest. “I thought I was strong but I’m fucking weak! That’s what you want to hear me say right?!” He cried and cried as he kept on pounding his father’s chest in frustration. “You heartless man! I admit that I am weak but I’d rather let you rip my heart out than leave me alive watching the one that I love the most dying right in front of my eyes.”
“Listen to yourself Kim Junsu. You want the guards to focus on taking care of Yoochun while the sniper who shot him is still loose? Unless you’re a doctor, you being with Yoochun or not won’t change a thing.”
“Mr. Kim,” a guard reported to him. “We’ve caught our target and successfully infiltrated the building. All is clear. Choi Siwon escaped with the case and is nowhere to be found in the building. Apparently, he left the sniper there with the intention of killing you.”
“Find Choi Siwon even if it means ransacking this whole country and bring me back that case at all costs,” Mr. Kim commanded him. “What he did was an incredible offense to my pride.”
“No need for the case,” Junsu calmed himself down as he spoke. “There was nothing in that case to begin with. Don’t bother with that case.”
Mr. Kim laughed and scoffed at Junsu. “I only thank God for letting you deal with an imbecile like Choi Siwon. If your opponent was a smart man like any of those guys behind you, all of you would be dead.”
All of a sudden, three cars, a black van and two ambulances all came to their location. More reinforcements came out waiting for commands.
“I’ll bring him here Kim Junsu,” his father pushed Junsu off his bubble as hard as he could to the ground. “I’ll bring him, show him to you and give him the best treatment he will get. But the flight tomorrow morning to France, you’ll take it even though I have to drag you out in handcuffs out of this country. And if you try to come back, I’ll ban your name to make sure you don’t ever come back.”
Junsu looked down. That’s when he realized that they really did need to part in order for each of them to live. It tore him apart but it was the only choice he could make.
Before he could speak, Jae gripped his shoulders for support.
“I’ll come with you Kim Junsu,” Jae from the back spoke up. “It’ll get pretty lonely without my boss here. It’s for Yoochun’s sake too.”
“You didn’t have to tell me Jae,” Junsu whispered out in defeat. “I’ll take that flight to France.”
With all that said and done, Junsu’s father waved at the guard to come over as he walked to meet him halfway.
All of the gang watched as Mr. Kim spoke to the guard hoping for good news.
They knew Yoochun would hold on. Nothing would ever happen to that guy.
“Give them the report,” Junsu’s father commanded the guard as they reached close to them along with the stretcher from the ambulance.
Jae, Changmin, Donwook and Yunho could only watch in despair as they waited. They could see crimson staining and dripping from the guard’s hands but none could even bring themselves to go near Yoochun at all.
Junsu swallowed his pooling saliva in fear of what was happening to Yoochun.
“Here,” the guard laid the heavy Yoochun on the stretcher in front of them, his right hand now completely visible to all was covered heavily with Yoochun’s blood. As soon as he backed away, everyone crowded around Yoochun. “He no longer has a pulse,” he continued.
“What?” Junsu breathed out.
“Oh God…” Jae held back his shock. Maybe he didn’t hear it right.
“He’s dead,” the guard rephrased his line. “I’m sorry.”
“No!” everyone seemed to have yelled or even whispered the same thing.
“Oh God, Yoochun!” Junsu sobbed. “No! You’re not dead! What the hell Yoochun? Open your damn eyes! You were supposed to live! I accepted defeat! You were going to get away from me and live. Wake up Yoochun! Wake the fuck up! Don’t make me punch you too!” Junsu wailed and screamed so loud it was as if the whole world could hear his words of anguish.
Junsu could only cuss and cuss hoping that the rage and despair inside of him would calm down.
Jae and Changmin backed away and faced the guard.
“You’re kidding right?” Changmin asked in disbelief.
“Just because he doesn’t have a pulse doesn’t mean he is dead!” Jaejoong’s hands shook, also in denial. “Yoochun can’t die. He can’t!”
Medics rushed over and pushed everyone aside. One medic double checked for Yoochun’s pulse.
“He’s dead,” Mr. Kim said out loud for everyone to hear especially Junsu who now seemed as if his mind were no longer present in his body.
Yunho and Dongwook looked at the medic that checked Yoochun’s pulse for some miraculous announcement.
“Call it,” the medic spoke as he released the pads of his fingers off of Yoochun’s carotid artery.
“T-time of death, 3:39AM,” another medic pronounced.
“Oh God…” Jae couldn’t hold back his tears and let his body be pulled by the heaviness of the earth’s gravity tonight.
Junsu could only hold Yoochun’s hands but even that was taken away from him as a couple more medics from the second ambulance came and dragged the injured away for inspection and cleaning of open wounds.
“Patch them up,” Junsu’s father ordered.
And in an instant, everyone except Yoochun was dragged to the second ambulance.
“Don’t forget Junsu,” his father added on, “your flight to France is at zero eight hundred hour sharp. Don’t miss it.”
Junsu had no reaction. He completely withdrew himself from this unexpected disaster.
What now?
What the hell was he supposed to do to turn back time?
All he had was money.
This thought brought him back a memory.
Flashback:
“I’m Kim Junsu,” he said, “what do I not have that money can’t buy?”
“Then buy my mother’s soul back from God,” Yoochun replied.
End of Flashback
How stupid was he to think that he was able to buy everything?
“I’m sorry Yoochun…” he sobbed as his wounds were treated. The pain that the antiseptic created on his wound did not match the aching guilt that he felt in his heart tonight. “I’m so sorry...sorry…” he continued to cry out loud.
He was such a fool.
Yoochun was dead.
He will never see him again.
And Kim Junsu who could buy anything and everything couldn’t do anything about it.
For the second time in his life, he failed to protect who he cared about the most.
A/N:
The end.
I’m just kidding.
Got one more chapter. Maybe 2. Depends on my mood if I want to write a long one again.
Don’t send me hate mails.
I get it.
25 chapters of hoohaa this and hoohaa that and something horrible happens.
Damn. Must be tough to be a reader. I understand those feelings well.
Yay or Nay? Holla at me.
Maybe I'll be more encouraged to write the next chapter.
Jks. I write when I have time.
I challenge you all to not reveal anything in your comments. Because I know they'll be spoilers for the readers. LOL. I'm predicting the comments and the rages now. Haha. So just no spoilers please. HA.
That's it! Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter and that your holidays were as awesome as it could be.
Till next time!
Lots of love from eternallove!