[I'm Cool] Chapter 22: Love Over Pride [Part B]
Title: I'm Cool?
Pairings: Yoosu, Yunjae, Changmin/Dongwook
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17 (?)
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Action, Smut ( will be warned in the story on where to stop and begin reading- optional read)
Banner: I'd like to thanksesshy18 for this wonderful banner.
Summary: Kim Junsu is keeping a huge secret. It is top secret so he must not let anyone find out! In reality, he is good at everything just like how we picture superman. He has the looks. He has the hair, the eyes, the face, the muscles, the talent, and the brains. But even though he has all of these gifts, he is tired of the everyday comments and routines. He is tired of girls screaming at him saying “Wow you’re so hot! Oh! You’re so cute. Ah Junsu! Why are you so smart?” And so, Junsu leaves everything behind, his apartment, his school and his parents so that he could start living a brand new life. For once in his perfect life, he wants to be teased and get laughed at. He wants to feel what it is like getting called ugly, fat or nerdy. And because of this, he disguises himself as a geek in the school. Now, he is Xiah Junsu the geek and not Kim Junsu, future heir to the wealthiest corporation in Asia.
Chapter 1: Busted Already?!
Chapter 2: Officially A Geek
Chapter 3: Your Hero During the Night
Chapter 4: The One Hundred Million Dollar Item
Chapter 5: I Own Him
Chapter 6: The Haunting Past
Chapter 7: The Reason for Saving You
Chapter 8: What is True Love?
Chapter 9: The Bet
Chapter 10: Money Can't Buy Everything
Chapter 11: Leave No Regrets
Chapter 12: They're Coming Back to Me
Chapter 13: Realize, Remember and Believe
Chapter 14: No Chance in a World Full of Lies
Chapter 15: The Plan Set in Motion
Chapter 16:The Secret Revealed
Chapter 17: No More Secrets
Chapter 18: A Perfect Kim Junsu-Strong and Undefeatable PART A
Chapter 18: A Perfect Kim Junsu-Strong and Undefeatable PART B
Chapter 19: Letting Go
Chapter 20: It's Time to Change Park Yoochun! PART A
Chapter 20: It's Time to Change Park Yoochun! PART B
Chapter 21: Problems Before the Storm
Chapter 22: Love Over Pride PART A
Chapter 22: Love Over Pride
As Junsu trod up the stairs to the second floor for a drink, he was already greeted by a crowd of men inviting him to sit with them.
He could only sigh on the inside at his disinterest with business at this moment in time. In fact, he could even care less. But like usual, he was always driven by the wave of pressure that he always just ends up following these kinds of men anyways.
“So Mr. Kim, I was thinking of investing in your company in support of your growth as a whole,” one man stated as they walked together alone with three other men to their table.
“If you’re only thinking then I suggest finding a different company. I need people with resolute decisions. I don’t settle for “I was thinking” but more of “let’s do it”. So which company are you running?”
“Well, excuse me Mr. Kim,” the man apologized but annoyance was clearly painted on his face. “I’m Jun Lee the CEO of Starlite and I hope to become one of your business partner in the near future.”
“Listen, Jun Lee?” Junsu rubbed the back of his ear in annoyance. “Thinking and hoping are just futile words. Doing and taking action are the fists for a fist fight. I really don’t care for your business right now since your company will neither do us any good or bad. I don’t believe in safe travels. If I was interested in your company, I would be the one approaching you and not the other way around. So, if you may kindly leave, it’ll be greatly appreciated.”
Looking at each other eye to eye, Junsu never backed down and scoffed back instead. Following that, he snapped his finger.
“Maybe-“ the man tried to retort back but was cut off too early in the game.
“Enough,” Junsu said with a clear icy command.
Within a second and no delays at all, two bodyguards came to his bidding.
“Please take these four gentlemen down to the first floor. I have no intention in doing business right now.”
And without any hesitation at all, Junsu’s request was fulfilled. People with no ambition did not belong in his world.
After escorting those guests down to the main floor, the bodyguards came running back to him in a flash. “Is there anything else you need Mr. Kim Junsu?”
As Junsu was about to turn and dismiss his bodyguards, a man in a white suit two tables away caught his eye. It couldn’t be…
“Come with me,” Junsu commanded them as he walked towards this man with raging anger. “Get those women out of here. Quickly.”
Junsu watched as his body guards took the women by their hands roughly from the booth and dragged them out of there.
What the hell was he doing here?
Who let him in?
Jaejoong?
Junsu sighed as he headed towards the scene.
“Who are you guys?” the man in the white suit said out loud as he went out the booth trying to stop the commotion. “You should be gentle with women. They’re not as-”
“So be gentle with women?” Kim Junsu spoke coldly. “Does that mean I don’t have to be gentle with a man like you?” There was great silence as Yoochun soaked up all those words thrown at him. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“It’s none of your business…” Yoochun mumbled out as he looked away and broke eye contact with Junsu who now stood in front of him. Playing his role as Jeo Chung-hee now became even more challenging.
“Why are you here and who let you in?” he interrogated furiously as he walked closer Yoochun trying to catch his eye.
“Jaejoong…” Yoochun mumbled out again. “But I assure you he did not mean any harm…”
“You are already in harm! I let you walk away because I didn’t want you to stay in this never ending hole!” he explained still trying to catch Yoochun’s eyes from his face that looked away from him.
Yoochun couldn’t say anything and therefore, did not say anything. In truth, he just wanted to see him but he couldn’t say that now could he? What should he do? He couldn’t even look at his eyes. How does Jeo Chung-hee interact with someone of high status? There were too many people that caught this commotion and he didn’t want to give up his disguise and be known as Park Yoochun. People will realize and not even Jaejoong nor Junsu could help him. Heck, Junsu didn’t even know of this scheme Jaejoong put together since this guy has been bombarding him with questions already.
“Look at me,” Junsu commanded him as he questioned to why this man in front of him was here now. There was definitely no way he could get past the guards without the accompaniment of Jaejoong or himself unless…
Junsu smirked as he figured out this scheme. “Introduce yourself.”
"What?" Yoochun's eyes widened.
He was flabbergasted.
"Introduce yourself." Junsu commanded Yoochun as he figured out this scheme.
Yoochun ouldn’t say his real name in a conversation that attracted the attention of people within the 5 meter radius. It’s going to tarnish Junsu’s name for here in this party, everyone knew of each other. The name is what is important.
“Is this how you treat your friend, Kim Junsu?” He acted confidently, trying to hide his quivering lips. “Just because I didn’t tell you I was going to come, you start to lose your temper. Is this really the Kim Junsu I know?”
“What the hell are you doing?” Junsu questioned calculatingly, trying to place the pieces together.
“Well, you’re hurting my ladies so let’s start by ordering your guards to let go of their fragile hands and let’s talk,” Yoochun smiled, “privately, may I suggest?” He reached for Junsu’s hand and kissed it.
Junsu greatly shocked and offended, pulled his hand away from Yoochun’s and gave him a quick yet nipping slap on the face.
Junsu could only laugh. That kiss on the hand… there was only one man who would have the guts to do that in front of everyone and to him as well, first and foremost.
"That hurt," Yoochun smiled like a playboy, trying to hint Junsu of who he was.
“Oh God, you're supposed to be Jeo Chung-hee?” Junsu chuckled as placed the tips of his fingers at his temple. “God, what game are we playing here!”
And right when Junsu said his name, the level of whispers and murmurs increased. The name Jeo Chung-hee is acquainted with a billion dollar international trading company.
Yoochun could only clench his fist to stop his shaking hands. If Junsu didn’t figure this act out, he didn’t know what he could have done.
Junsu could only breathe out heavily and decided to go along with this crazy idea.
Accepting this situation and calming down as well, he waved his hand to the guards which released the girls they held roughly by the hand.
“Alright, now that this misunderstanding is solved, let’s talk privately. Follow me.” He stared deep into Yoochun’s eyes in search for answers as he said this but all he could see was great sincerity and gentleness radiating out of his face. He could not see a single bad intention what so ever.
********************
As they got into Junsu’s private room, silence dominated the atmosphere. The both of them didn’t know where to begin, how to begin or even when to begin.
“Shut the door,” Junsu commanded the now timid Yoochun.
“Ah sorry,” Yoochun quickly apologized. He knew he was in big trouble and Junsu’s mood wasn’t comforting. It almost felt as if he was a complete stranger.
Before beginning the conversation, Junsu took a deep breath in order to regain his senses. “Alright, Jeo Chung-hee, or should I say Park Yoochun, what brings you to this horrifying dwelling?” Sarcasm completely covered his words.
Yoochun wanted to cry or at least have a nervous breakdown. The man felt so distant to him, so foreign, to the point where he felt out of place or dumb for wanting to be there just so that he could see him.
“I don’t have much time Yoochun,” Junsu sighed. “I don’t know what to do with you now that you’re here. Heck, I don’t even know what you are doing here.”
“I…Junsu…” Yoochun tried to speak, but he didn’t even know what to say. He just wanted to…see him? To talk maybe. But, the other man didn’t even allow for that kind of atmosphere.
Junsu shook his head side to side in disbelief. “Alright, while you get your thoughts straight, I’ll speak first.”
Figuring out where to start, Junsu walked to his desk and leaned against it to face Yoochun. “Alright, first and foremost, you know we are not connected anymore in any other physical or financial way right? I got my 1 hundred million dollar kiss from a man I bought from prostitution house and now you’re free! I confessed my heart wrenched feelings for you however; you flat out clearly rejected me. I let you go completely so I can recover but I don’t understand why you’re here tonight, in front of me, trying to initiate some sort of heartfelt conversation or expecting some sort of comfort when clearly, I should be the one getting comforted.” Junsu sighed again. “Tell me clearly Yoochun, why are you here?”
Junsu’s words were sharp knives that stabbed his heart. Yoochun could only listen in silence as his emotions ran rampantly wild to the point of exhaustion. Tears started to well up in his eyes. “I don’t know Junsu. Trust me, I really don’t know why I’m here. I questioned myself right in front of the doors of this house as if I stood at the gates of hell itself,” Yoochun spoke through his fear and hurt.
Hearing these words, Junsu sneered. “So then what business do we have with each other then? I don’t think I can read your mind of what you want at this point.”
“Junsu…” Yoochun said as he swallowed a huge lump welling up in his throat. He couldn’t bear the large distance he felt between him and Junsu. “I really just wanted to apologize. I came on impulse because the thought of seeing…”
Yoochun stopped his trail of thought. The thought of seeing Junsu was enough to allow himself to go. That’s what he wanted to say. But that’s just wrong and confusing to himself and probably to Kim Junsu! It also made him question why he was really there. Unconsciously, in the heat of his passion, he was about to say, he came because he wanted to see Junsu? But what happens from there? He already rejected him and now he’s just saying, I came to your party because I wanted to see you…to be your friend…hoping we can get close again… This was really a stupid idea. It was his greatest fault for even coming here.
“So you came on impulse at the thought of seeing…” Junsu raised his brow and stood up straight, taking a step out from his desk and towards Yoochun. “Seeing me, I suppose? So really, you came to see me. Is that why you’re here?”
Yoochun could not look at the blunt Junsu in the eye. For once, he backed down and looked at the ground in complete and utter defeat.
“Okay, so that explains why you’re here,” Junsu said in an interrogating fashion. “To see me. Now, what do you want to see me for?” Junsu asked as he walked over the Yoochun who just stared at the floor. “Yoochun?” Junsu leaned to the side in order to catch Yoochun’s gaze. “I really don’t have a lot of time Yoochun.”
“Junsu, I’m just being a sincere…friend,” Yoochun began to speak. “Just because I rejected you doesn’t mean that we have to cut our ties! I just want to be with you-to know if you’re doing well, to make you happy, and be there with you if you need help. I don’t understand why I can’t be with you or why can’t I come to see you anymore.” Yoochun’s tears began to fall.
Once again, the masked Junsu began to speak. Even if those words did sound nice, there was no point in them at all. There was no hope and it was frustrating. “Oh, the problems of naivety!” he said in great amusement as if he was not even affected by the words at all. “You know Yoochun, let me cut it out to you straight. It’s clear to me that you are in love with me. Your words, in a roundabout way, is confessing to me, I love you. I can read through the lines and if you don’t get what you’re trying to say, I definitely do. You sound like a girl helplessly in love.”
“Junsu, I don’t l-!” Yoochun was about to deny but somehow, a prick in his heart caused him to bite down his words. I can’t…fall…in love with you? Those words, he couldn’t say it as easily as before. Yoochun looked to the side, away from the gaze of Junsu’s eyes. Again, those words were hard to let go. Was love really the unknown pain and regret he decided to let go of? Truth be told, he really didn’t want to part away from Junsu and every time they did, there was only pain. Only when they were together was he able to find some sort of peace within himself and an order to his life. He felt warm. Was this love?
“What?” Junsu fought back with harsh words his feeling of sadness. “I can’t be friends with you Yoochun. You know I can’t. There is no use of having a commoner as a friend. It doesn’t benefit me at all. If you don’t love me, and I’m telling you, we also can’t be friends, why are you still here standing beside me? You can’t be anything to me so to not waste anymore time-“
Junsu stopped his words the moment Yoochun’s tears started to fall. His act and his cold heart that attempted to form a barrier between him and Yoochun just melted and his cruel intentions to place distance between himself and the other man just vanished.
Junsu frowned. The last thing he wanted to see was this. He didn’t know what to say or what to do. He was in no position to comfort at all. His clear goal was to drive Yoochun out of his life, this place…from danger… But what is he supposed to do if he cries because of a broken heart in front of him?
“Yoochun,” Junsu called out his name gently. Not being able to bear this sight and in fear of his shaking resolve, Junsu walked towards the door and opened it. “I’ll be the one to leave this time.”
“Wait,” Yoochun spoke. “Please hear me out.” He turned towards the door, and looked Junsu in the eye. “This seems a bit rushed for me to understand but what I do understand is that if I let you walk out that door, I won’t be able to see you again and that’s the opposite of what I’d like to happen. So even if I’m confused of what my feelings are, I want to say that you are special. I do feel something there and if it’s love, I’m willing to accept it! I still don’t understand but please stay. Please.” Yoochun begged through his shortening breath. “I promised myself to be more truthful but I’m completely confused! I’m sincere! I’m not lying so please believe me Junsu… I don’t mean any harm! I just…” Yoochun closed his eyes and turned away as if trying to calm down his hurt, his sadness and his frustrations. “I just know for a fact that I have this deep yearning to be with you every second of the day! I’m starting to think that’ it’s because I love you but if this is love…” Yoochun asked in great frustration, “why does it hurt so much?”
“You’re starting to get it Yoochun. It still sounds unbearably unreasonable but you’re getting close to your feelings,” Junsu breathed trying to hide his bending emotions and resolve. “But can give up these feelings now because even if you say you love me, I can’t stay. Maybe there was a point that we could have been together, but we missed that point and you missed your chance. It will work to your good fortune though. You don’t have to live this spiteful life I tread. I realized when I was rejected, that even if we do love each other, I can’t bring my misfortune to you. And because I love you Yoochun, I’m going to let you go. I’m going to move on without you,” Junsu said as he began to walk out the door. “It’s my cruel fate and your greater fortune.”
“Junsu…” Yoochun tried to call out to him but before he could, the door closed shutting him behind in silence as he cried.
N/A: SURPRISE! I hope this compensates for a long time not updating. I don't remember the story anymore so I'm just following my old notes. Hopefully I get some feedback from you guys, I always like to hear what my readers have to say and enjoy! This chapter was a bit of a huge step for everyone's relationship status. And I was going to squeeze in Changmin and Dongwook's here but I figured that I'll save another set of drama for the next one. I didn't edit too much because I'm really sleepy and I don't think I'll have time to work on it so for you guys, I'm just going to get this chapter out here. BTW, I missed everyone here! It's so nostalgic trying to post things up again. Hopefully, I get to do more posts more often than not! I forgot how fun LJ was. In your comments, let me know of awesome fics I have missed out! I'd like to keep up. :) I'll talk to you guys down at the comment box! :)
Pairings: Yoosu, Yunjae, Changmin/Dongwook
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17 (?)
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Action, Smut ( will be warned in the story on where to stop and begin reading- optional read)
Banner: I'd like to thanksesshy18 for this wonderful banner.
Summary: Kim Junsu is keeping a huge secret. It is top secret so he must not let anyone find out! In reality, he is good at everything just like how we picture superman. He has the looks. He has the hair, the eyes, the face, the muscles, the talent, and the brains. But even though he has all of these gifts, he is tired of the everyday comments and routines. He is tired of girls screaming at him saying “Wow you’re so hot! Oh! You’re so cute. Ah Junsu! Why are you so smart?” And so, Junsu leaves everything behind, his apartment, his school and his parents so that he could start living a brand new life. For once in his perfect life, he wants to be teased and get laughed at. He wants to feel what it is like getting called ugly, fat or nerdy. And because of this, he disguises himself as a geek in the school. Now, he is Xiah Junsu the geek and not Kim Junsu, future heir to the wealthiest corporation in Asia.
Chapter 1: Busted Already?!
Chapter 2: Officially A Geek
Chapter 3: Your Hero During the Night
Chapter 4: The One Hundred Million Dollar Item
Chapter 5: I Own Him
Chapter 6: The Haunting Past
Chapter 7: The Reason for Saving You
Chapter 8: What is True Love?
Chapter 9: The Bet
Chapter 10: Money Can't Buy Everything
Chapter 11: Leave No Regrets
Chapter 12: They're Coming Back to Me
Chapter 13: Realize, Remember and Believe
Chapter 14: No Chance in a World Full of Lies
Chapter 15: The Plan Set in Motion
Chapter 16:The Secret Revealed
Chapter 17: No More Secrets
Chapter 18: A Perfect Kim Junsu-Strong and Undefeatable PART A
Chapter 18: A Perfect Kim Junsu-Strong and Undefeatable PART B
Chapter 19: Letting Go
Chapter 20: It's Time to Change Park Yoochun! PART A
Chapter 20: It's Time to Change Park Yoochun! PART B
Chapter 21: Problems Before the Storm
Chapter 22: Love Over Pride PART A
Chapter 22: Love Over Pride
As Junsu trod up the stairs to the second floor for a drink, he was already greeted by a crowd of men inviting him to sit with them.
He could only sigh on the inside at his disinterest with business at this moment in time. In fact, he could even care less. But like usual, he was always driven by the wave of pressure that he always just ends up following these kinds of men anyways.
“So Mr. Kim, I was thinking of investing in your company in support of your growth as a whole,” one man stated as they walked together alone with three other men to their table.
“If you’re only thinking then I suggest finding a different company. I need people with resolute decisions. I don’t settle for “I was thinking” but more of “let’s do it”. So which company are you running?”
“Well, excuse me Mr. Kim,” the man apologized but annoyance was clearly painted on his face. “I’m Jun Lee the CEO of Starlite and I hope to become one of your business partner in the near future.”
“Listen, Jun Lee?” Junsu rubbed the back of his ear in annoyance. “Thinking and hoping are just futile words. Doing and taking action are the fists for a fist fight. I really don’t care for your business right now since your company will neither do us any good or bad. I don’t believe in safe travels. If I was interested in your company, I would be the one approaching you and not the other way around. So, if you may kindly leave, it’ll be greatly appreciated.”
Looking at each other eye to eye, Junsu never backed down and scoffed back instead. Following that, he snapped his finger.
“Maybe-“ the man tried to retort back but was cut off too early in the game.
“Enough,” Junsu said with a clear icy command.
Within a second and no delays at all, two bodyguards came to his bidding.
“Please take these four gentlemen down to the first floor. I have no intention in doing business right now.”
And without any hesitation at all, Junsu’s request was fulfilled. People with no ambition did not belong in his world.
After escorting those guests down to the main floor, the bodyguards came running back to him in a flash. “Is there anything else you need Mr. Kim Junsu?”
As Junsu was about to turn and dismiss his bodyguards, a man in a white suit two tables away caught his eye. It couldn’t be…
“Come with me,” Junsu commanded them as he walked towards this man with raging anger. “Get those women out of here. Quickly.”
Junsu watched as his body guards took the women by their hands roughly from the booth and dragged them out of there.
What the hell was he doing here?
Who let him in?
Jaejoong?
Junsu sighed as he headed towards the scene.
“Who are you guys?” the man in the white suit said out loud as he went out the booth trying to stop the commotion. “You should be gentle with women. They’re not as-”
“So be gentle with women?” Kim Junsu spoke coldly. “Does that mean I don’t have to be gentle with a man like you?” There was great silence as Yoochun soaked up all those words thrown at him. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“It’s none of your business…” Yoochun mumbled out as he looked away and broke eye contact with Junsu who now stood in front of him. Playing his role as Jeo Chung-hee now became even more challenging.
“Why are you here and who let you in?” he interrogated furiously as he walked closer Yoochun trying to catch his eye.
“Jaejoong…” Yoochun mumbled out again. “But I assure you he did not mean any harm…”
“You are already in harm! I let you walk away because I didn’t want you to stay in this never ending hole!” he explained still trying to catch Yoochun’s eyes from his face that looked away from him.
Yoochun couldn’t say anything and therefore, did not say anything. In truth, he just wanted to see him but he couldn’t say that now could he? What should he do? He couldn’t even look at his eyes. How does Jeo Chung-hee interact with someone of high status? There were too many people that caught this commotion and he didn’t want to give up his disguise and be known as Park Yoochun. People will realize and not even Jaejoong nor Junsu could help him. Heck, Junsu didn’t even know of this scheme Jaejoong put together since this guy has been bombarding him with questions already.
“Look at me,” Junsu commanded him as he questioned to why this man in front of him was here now. There was definitely no way he could get past the guards without the accompaniment of Jaejoong or himself unless…
Junsu smirked as he figured out this scheme. “Introduce yourself.”
"What?" Yoochun's eyes widened.
He was flabbergasted.
"Introduce yourself." Junsu commanded Yoochun as he figured out this scheme.
Yoochun ouldn’t say his real name in a conversation that attracted the attention of people within the 5 meter radius. It’s going to tarnish Junsu’s name for here in this party, everyone knew of each other. The name is what is important.
“Is this how you treat your friend, Kim Junsu?” He acted confidently, trying to hide his quivering lips. “Just because I didn’t tell you I was going to come, you start to lose your temper. Is this really the Kim Junsu I know?”
“What the hell are you doing?” Junsu questioned calculatingly, trying to place the pieces together.
“Well, you’re hurting my ladies so let’s start by ordering your guards to let go of their fragile hands and let’s talk,” Yoochun smiled, “privately, may I suggest?” He reached for Junsu’s hand and kissed it.
Junsu greatly shocked and offended, pulled his hand away from Yoochun’s and gave him a quick yet nipping slap on the face.
Junsu could only laugh. That kiss on the hand… there was only one man who would have the guts to do that in front of everyone and to him as well, first and foremost.
"That hurt," Yoochun smiled like a playboy, trying to hint Junsu of who he was.
“Oh God, you're supposed to be Jeo Chung-hee?” Junsu chuckled as placed the tips of his fingers at his temple. “God, what game are we playing here!”
And right when Junsu said his name, the level of whispers and murmurs increased. The name Jeo Chung-hee is acquainted with a billion dollar international trading company.
Yoochun could only clench his fist to stop his shaking hands. If Junsu didn’t figure this act out, he didn’t know what he could have done.
Junsu could only breathe out heavily and decided to go along with this crazy idea.
Accepting this situation and calming down as well, he waved his hand to the guards which released the girls they held roughly by the hand.
“Alright, now that this misunderstanding is solved, let’s talk privately. Follow me.” He stared deep into Yoochun’s eyes in search for answers as he said this but all he could see was great sincerity and gentleness radiating out of his face. He could not see a single bad intention what so ever.
********************
As they got into Junsu’s private room, silence dominated the atmosphere. The both of them didn’t know where to begin, how to begin or even when to begin.
“Shut the door,” Junsu commanded the now timid Yoochun.
“Ah sorry,” Yoochun quickly apologized. He knew he was in big trouble and Junsu’s mood wasn’t comforting. It almost felt as if he was a complete stranger.
Before beginning the conversation, Junsu took a deep breath in order to regain his senses. “Alright, Jeo Chung-hee, or should I say Park Yoochun, what brings you to this horrifying dwelling?” Sarcasm completely covered his words.
Yoochun wanted to cry or at least have a nervous breakdown. The man felt so distant to him, so foreign, to the point where he felt out of place or dumb for wanting to be there just so that he could see him.
“I don’t have much time Yoochun,” Junsu sighed. “I don’t know what to do with you now that you’re here. Heck, I don’t even know what you are doing here.”
“I…Junsu…” Yoochun tried to speak, but he didn’t even know what to say. He just wanted to…see him? To talk maybe. But, the other man didn’t even allow for that kind of atmosphere.
Junsu shook his head side to side in disbelief. “Alright, while you get your thoughts straight, I’ll speak first.”
Figuring out where to start, Junsu walked to his desk and leaned against it to face Yoochun. “Alright, first and foremost, you know we are not connected anymore in any other physical or financial way right? I got my 1 hundred million dollar kiss from a man I bought from prostitution house and now you’re free! I confessed my heart wrenched feelings for you however; you flat out clearly rejected me. I let you go completely so I can recover but I don’t understand why you’re here tonight, in front of me, trying to initiate some sort of heartfelt conversation or expecting some sort of comfort when clearly, I should be the one getting comforted.” Junsu sighed again. “Tell me clearly Yoochun, why are you here?”
Junsu’s words were sharp knives that stabbed his heart. Yoochun could only listen in silence as his emotions ran rampantly wild to the point of exhaustion. Tears started to well up in his eyes. “I don’t know Junsu. Trust me, I really don’t know why I’m here. I questioned myself right in front of the doors of this house as if I stood at the gates of hell itself,” Yoochun spoke through his fear and hurt.
Hearing these words, Junsu sneered. “So then what business do we have with each other then? I don’t think I can read your mind of what you want at this point.”
“Junsu…” Yoochun said as he swallowed a huge lump welling up in his throat. He couldn’t bear the large distance he felt between him and Junsu. “I really just wanted to apologize. I came on impulse because the thought of seeing…”
Yoochun stopped his trail of thought. The thought of seeing Junsu was enough to allow himself to go. That’s what he wanted to say. But that’s just wrong and confusing to himself and probably to Kim Junsu! It also made him question why he was really there. Unconsciously, in the heat of his passion, he was about to say, he came because he wanted to see Junsu? But what happens from there? He already rejected him and now he’s just saying, I came to your party because I wanted to see you…to be your friend…hoping we can get close again… This was really a stupid idea. It was his greatest fault for even coming here.
“So you came on impulse at the thought of seeing…” Junsu raised his brow and stood up straight, taking a step out from his desk and towards Yoochun. “Seeing me, I suppose? So really, you came to see me. Is that why you’re here?”
Yoochun could not look at the blunt Junsu in the eye. For once, he backed down and looked at the ground in complete and utter defeat.
“Okay, so that explains why you’re here,” Junsu said in an interrogating fashion. “To see me. Now, what do you want to see me for?” Junsu asked as he walked over the Yoochun who just stared at the floor. “Yoochun?” Junsu leaned to the side in order to catch Yoochun’s gaze. “I really don’t have a lot of time Yoochun.”
“Junsu, I’m just being a sincere…friend,” Yoochun began to speak. “Just because I rejected you doesn’t mean that we have to cut our ties! I just want to be with you-to know if you’re doing well, to make you happy, and be there with you if you need help. I don’t understand why I can’t be with you or why can’t I come to see you anymore.” Yoochun’s tears began to fall.
Once again, the masked Junsu began to speak. Even if those words did sound nice, there was no point in them at all. There was no hope and it was frustrating. “Oh, the problems of naivety!” he said in great amusement as if he was not even affected by the words at all. “You know Yoochun, let me cut it out to you straight. It’s clear to me that you are in love with me. Your words, in a roundabout way, is confessing to me, I love you. I can read through the lines and if you don’t get what you’re trying to say, I definitely do. You sound like a girl helplessly in love.”
“Junsu, I don’t l-!” Yoochun was about to deny but somehow, a prick in his heart caused him to bite down his words. I can’t…fall…in love with you? Those words, he couldn’t say it as easily as before. Yoochun looked to the side, away from the gaze of Junsu’s eyes. Again, those words were hard to let go. Was love really the unknown pain and regret he decided to let go of? Truth be told, he really didn’t want to part away from Junsu and every time they did, there was only pain. Only when they were together was he able to find some sort of peace within himself and an order to his life. He felt warm. Was this love?
“What?” Junsu fought back with harsh words his feeling of sadness. “I can’t be friends with you Yoochun. You know I can’t. There is no use of having a commoner as a friend. It doesn’t benefit me at all. If you don’t love me, and I’m telling you, we also can’t be friends, why are you still here standing beside me? You can’t be anything to me so to not waste anymore time-“
Junsu stopped his words the moment Yoochun’s tears started to fall. His act and his cold heart that attempted to form a barrier between him and Yoochun just melted and his cruel intentions to place distance between himself and the other man just vanished.
Junsu frowned. The last thing he wanted to see was this. He didn’t know what to say or what to do. He was in no position to comfort at all. His clear goal was to drive Yoochun out of his life, this place…from danger… But what is he supposed to do if he cries because of a broken heart in front of him?
“Yoochun,” Junsu called out his name gently. Not being able to bear this sight and in fear of his shaking resolve, Junsu walked towards the door and opened it. “I’ll be the one to leave this time.”
“Wait,” Yoochun spoke. “Please hear me out.” He turned towards the door, and looked Junsu in the eye. “This seems a bit rushed for me to understand but what I do understand is that if I let you walk out that door, I won’t be able to see you again and that’s the opposite of what I’d like to happen. So even if I’m confused of what my feelings are, I want to say that you are special. I do feel something there and if it’s love, I’m willing to accept it! I still don’t understand but please stay. Please.” Yoochun begged through his shortening breath. “I promised myself to be more truthful but I’m completely confused! I’m sincere! I’m not lying so please believe me Junsu… I don’t mean any harm! I just…” Yoochun closed his eyes and turned away as if trying to calm down his hurt, his sadness and his frustrations. “I just know for a fact that I have this deep yearning to be with you every second of the day! I’m starting to think that’ it’s because I love you but if this is love…” Yoochun asked in great frustration, “why does it hurt so much?”
“You’re starting to get it Yoochun. It still sounds unbearably unreasonable but you’re getting close to your feelings,” Junsu breathed trying to hide his bending emotions and resolve. “But can give up these feelings now because even if you say you love me, I can’t stay. Maybe there was a point that we could have been together, but we missed that point and you missed your chance. It will work to your good fortune though. You don’t have to live this spiteful life I tread. I realized when I was rejected, that even if we do love each other, I can’t bring my misfortune to you. And because I love you Yoochun, I’m going to let you go. I’m going to move on without you,” Junsu said as he began to walk out the door. “It’s my cruel fate and your greater fortune.”
“Junsu…” Yoochun tried to call out to him but before he could, the door closed shutting him behind in silence as he cried.
N/A: SURPRISE! I hope this compensates for a long time not updating. I don't remember the story anymore so I'm just following my old notes. Hopefully I get some feedback from you guys, I always like to hear what my readers have to say and enjoy! This chapter was a bit of a huge step for everyone's relationship status. And I was going to squeeze in Changmin and Dongwook's here but I figured that I'll save another set of drama for the next one. I didn't edit too much because I'm really sleepy and I don't think I'll have time to work on it so for you guys, I'm just going to get this chapter out here. BTW, I missed everyone here! It's so nostalgic trying to post things up again. Hopefully, I get to do more posts more often than not! I forgot how fun LJ was. In your comments, let me know of awesome fics I have missed out! I'd like to keep up. :) I'll talk to you guys down at the comment box! :)