(no subject)
You caught me at a strange time, world.
The closer the clock moved to 2:40 pm yesterday afternoon, something new came over me. I think it finally sunk in that I wasn’t coming back to this place anymore for the sake of an education or for a grade. No more academic labs. No more block scheduling. No more MPTC. No more a lot of things. Up until this week I’d been pretty impressed with myself for getting to the point where I seriously need to consider college is just a few months in the future. Now I think I’m just scared - but in the good way.
Walking out of school yesterday and to the parking lot, I didn’t quite know what to do with myself. I said goodbye to a couple friends and just naturally headed back to my car. It was different pulling out that day. I can’t really put it in words. It kind of cut me deep and exhilarated me at the same time.
Times change, and so do people. This is the first summer I’ve had to myself in years and I promised myself that if I ever had one of those again, I’d take full advantage of my situation. Day to day, I need to have something going on or something I can just sink into. Even though I’m a little older, a little wiser and finished with my senior year, the little kid inside me just wants to wake up for the Price is Right as much as possible and anticipate the monsoon season. It’s scary to consciously know you’re changing so much, I know I’ve gotten to a very pivotal point in my days.
What I’m primarily concerned with now is just being a good person all around. I have plenty enough people around to tell me I already am, and I appreciate the fact that they think so, but I guess I’m really out to prove it to myself. There’s plenty of areas in my life that are less than what they should or could be, so I figured now is as good a time as any to work out a little reformation. Turning the other cheek is never easy, especially for somebody like me, but now I see I’m old enough to know that having a temper is just too little kid for me. If I’m still going to be regarded as a twelve year old on sight, then I at least have to wage some kind of war verbally.
There’s a lot of room for growth.
I anticipate college on the grounds that I’m sick of feeling lonely as much as I have this year. I don’t intend that to be in the context of morbid and depressing or pessimistic in the least, it’s just I’ve learned the word lonely at this point in life takes on a lot of definitions, shapes and forms. Above all, I just want something real.
Oh, and Sam? I’m real sorry. Keep your head up.
The closer the clock moved to 2:40 pm yesterday afternoon, something new came over me. I think it finally sunk in that I wasn’t coming back to this place anymore for the sake of an education or for a grade. No more academic labs. No more block scheduling. No more MPTC. No more a lot of things. Up until this week I’d been pretty impressed with myself for getting to the point where I seriously need to consider college is just a few months in the future. Now I think I’m just scared - but in the good way.
Walking out of school yesterday and to the parking lot, I didn’t quite know what to do with myself. I said goodbye to a couple friends and just naturally headed back to my car. It was different pulling out that day. I can’t really put it in words. It kind of cut me deep and exhilarated me at the same time.
Times change, and so do people. This is the first summer I’ve had to myself in years and I promised myself that if I ever had one of those again, I’d take full advantage of my situation. Day to day, I need to have something going on or something I can just sink into. Even though I’m a little older, a little wiser and finished with my senior year, the little kid inside me just wants to wake up for the Price is Right as much as possible and anticipate the monsoon season. It’s scary to consciously know you’re changing so much, I know I’ve gotten to a very pivotal point in my days.
What I’m primarily concerned with now is just being a good person all around. I have plenty enough people around to tell me I already am, and I appreciate the fact that they think so, but I guess I’m really out to prove it to myself. There’s plenty of areas in my life that are less than what they should or could be, so I figured now is as good a time as any to work out a little reformation. Turning the other cheek is never easy, especially for somebody like me, but now I see I’m old enough to know that having a temper is just too little kid for me. If I’m still going to be regarded as a twelve year old on sight, then I at least have to wage some kind of war verbally.
There’s a lot of room for growth.
I anticipate college on the grounds that I’m sick of feeling lonely as much as I have this year. I don’t intend that to be in the context of morbid and depressing or pessimistic in the least, it’s just I’ve learned the word lonely at this point in life takes on a lot of definitions, shapes and forms. Above all, I just want something real.
Oh, and Sam? I’m real sorry. Keep your head up.