(Untitled)

[__angel]

We had all decided that we were going to find out if Connor was okay. He had to be, I told him to get out of there, the offices and he did. He left. I remember the last look I gave him, it's in my head and right now that's all I'm seeing.

Go home ... now.

They'll destroy you.

As long as you're okay, they can't. Go.Then he was gone and I was

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[prodigal_slayer]

The drive back to the Hyperion was made in silence. But I could see Angel's eyes starting to get watery and I had to swallow hard over the lump growin' in my throat. Shit. If the kid was dead, then that meant alot of things. But mostly it meant that Angel was devestated and his devestation usually shook me to the core. I wanted to cry alongside with him, but I remembered what I'd promised myself when I first realized what I'd gotten myself into. That if he fell apart I would stay strong. One of us had to.

Glancing back at Wes I only saw a mirror of Angel's devestation on his face and I wondered if that was the guilt from stealing Angel's son or if it was something else. Either way I searched desperately for those memories they claimed that I had. I had met the kid and I couldn't even remembered him. Just didn't seem fair. I wanted to remember him, wanted to remember what they were both grieving. I was sad because it was Angel's son but I didn't know him. Didn't even know he existed.

Finally we pulled up to the Hyperion in silence and we all got out of the car. I was so afraid because I knew that Angel was on the verge of losin' his shit. Knew he'd wanna be left alone and this time I probably should leave him alone. Already felt mad guilty for givin' him so much shit earlier. That fight we'd had. One bruise still colored his face from where I'd hit him. I just wanted to...hug him or something cheesy like that. Fuck. I didn't know what to do, and I knew Wes wasn't gonna be able to back me up on this one.

The three of us walked into the lobby in silence and I glanced between the two of them waitin' to see which one of them would bail first, or which one of them would break down first. They both looked so damn sad I wanted to cry.

"I'm sorry." I finally managed to choke out in Angel's direction. I didn't know what else to say...to do.

[watcher_pryce]

I think I'd like that sword back in my gut now. At least that kind of pain I can handle. I was... Well, not used to it, but it was recognizable. This? This wasn't. Any and all hopes that the boy would finally have a normal life, a real life, were gone. Just like that. I had no idea what had happened, but in the end it didn't matter.

Connor was dead. Just like everyone else. There was no one left but us. There was no one who remembered Connor but Angel and I. Somehow I doubted we could really talk about him, not with our past. I would though, if Angel wanted that. I didn't think he wanted to. Just one look at his face told me that. He wanted to be alone and I wasn't about to let that happen. I wasn't about to let him slip away again. I've allowed that to many times before. But what hope did *I* have, to pull him back.

Faith, she was my only hope. How ironic.

I trailed after the other two back into the hotel, sinking back down on the sofa. For once I was glad for the pain stabbing my side. It gave me something else to focus on then the pain icing around my heart. The pain I felt, watching Angel's face. A friend who normally didn't show any emotions. And now I could see them swimming to the surface, and I wondered how long it would take for him to crack.

At Faith's words, I glanced over at her. I kept silent, uncertain if Angel really wanted me to stay here or not. After everything that's happened, that was a big question. But at least I could relay on Faith to keep him going. Or so I hope. I just kept looking from her to Angel, ready to jump in when needed.

[__angel]

We all walked in and I gave a glance around the hotel. Didn't even want to be here, just wanted to leave, but I had a feeling that wasn't going to happen. Not with the two of them around. I had a feeling they wouldn't let me out at all. Glanced over in Faiths direction when she said she was sorry.

Sorry?

Why would she be sorry, she wasn't the one that did this. She wasn't the one that ruined everyone's lives. That would be me, I did this, I did everything and now I only have to blame myself for my sons death. It was going to happen sooner or later right? Should have happened sooner, he shouldn't have been through all of this.

"For what?" I asked her and shrugged as if nothing happened. Just didn't want to think about it. Just wanted to pretend it didn't happen. Didn't want to dwell. Now there would be no reason for them to hold me back, there would be no reason to think, to cry, to actually feel.

It's over with.

Turned away from them and headed into the kitchen, running a hand over my face. Needed blood, needed something.

[wickedslayer]

Well how the fuck was I supposed to answer that one? Sorry for what? How 'bout I didn't wannay say. "Gee sorry about your dead kid." Because that was what I was sorry about even if I had nothin' to do with it. Shit, I didn't even remember him.

For a minute I felt kinda trapped between the two of them. The sorrow was so thick and it was boxing me in, like I couldn't escape it. But then Angel broke it when he walked off into the kitchen. Letting my lips part I sucked in a sharp breath and just watched his back disappear around the corner. Wanted to follow him, make sure he didn't do anything stupid. But at the same time I was gettin' the serious need to be alone. I didn't know what to do. Other than what I was already doin', a whole lotta nothin'.

Turnin' around I glanced at Wes, he had this numb hollow look in his eyes that made my heart wrench just a little bit more. Dammit, I did not know how to handle this stuff. Mostly I was just wicked sad, because they were.

Biting on my lower lip, I was countin' silently in my head. Countin' the seconds until this one was gonna be up and headin' upstairs so he could brood too. OH yeah, call me the lucky girl. They would both just leave me alone down here while I tried to ....something. Why was I here again?

"Sorry." I offered him lamely, just like I'd offered it to Angel. What else could I possibly do?

[watcher_pryce]

Sucking in my breath, I wrinkled my nose as Angel strode off into the kitchen. He couldn't do much damage there, unless he wanted to stake himself with a wooden spoon. And for Angel? That wasn't dramatic enough. If he'd go, he'd go out with a bang. Like he'd tried to do, taking on the Black Thorn.

But this was different. His son was dead. Not gone off into some hell-dimension, with at least that little bit of hope he could be back. No truly gone, and there was nothing either of us could do about it. Well, we probably could, or I could, if wanted to be really stupid and dead. But I hope he learned his lesson from last time he tried to get Connor back.

I turned back from the kitchen and glanced over at Faith. Who looked even more lost then Angel. She couldn't even remember him, strange that. I guess that Window of Orlon really had only worked for those who were in its vicinity. Angel, Connor, Illyria, Sahjin and myself. Angel had already known, and I was the only other one left. Why had he never told me? I could've shared the burden. Then again, I understood why. I didn't agree, but I understood.

"I know," I sighed, not really knowing what she was sorry for. For Connor being dead, I assumed. But it could be for not knowing about Connor. This is Faith, it could be about anything. But it didn't matter. Nor did I have the energy to be stunned about the fact that I had just heard her apologize...twice. My eyes ticked back to the kitchen and then over at Faith again. Right, buckle up here, Pryce.

"We'll have to keep an eye on him," I paused, running that sentence over in my head. "Obviously."

[__angel]

What she said stung, but I kept on walking into the kitchen, not really looking back, or even saying anything. Just didn't want to be bothered with it and I didn't want them to worry about it either. Even though, I knew they would. Probably Wes more so than Faith cause she didn't even know him. Then again, I don't know. I don't know alot of things right now and that's just something else to think about.

I leaned against the counter, hanging my head down, clenching my teeth, trying not to show emotion or let myself crumble. That was the last thing I needed. But everything just came full force at me and I growled, turning around and picking up the table, tossing it over into the wall, letting everything break and fall where it would before walking out of the back door and into the alley.

Just needed to be alone. Besides, nothing they could do or say would help me right now. I wasn't really sure what would.

Leaning against the brick wall, I could feel the tightness in my throat and then sobs shook my body.