(no subject)
We had all decided that we were going to find out if Connor was okay. He had to be, I told him to get out of there, the offices and he did. He left. I remember the last look I gave him, it's in my head and right now that's all I'm seeing.
Go home ... now.
They'll destroy you.
As long as you're okay, they can't. Go.
Then he was gone and I was left to clean up the mess that I made. The betrayal of my friends and family. Wasn't their fault, never was and we already established that. Faith even knew this was all my fault, when she looks at me, it's almost like pity and anger. With Wes, it's still confusion and hurt feelings. Things that I can't take back, things that I guess I don't want to take back because it happened and it's over with and now all we have is eachother right? Thinking maybe it'll be best if I go my own way and Faith could take Wes back with her to Rome or wherever they are now. Buffy doesn't even trust me and I don't think I could ever see her, I don't want to see that look in her eyes that everyone else had for me when they found out what happened, or when Wes found out that everything that happened was a lie. The world changed for us for one simple yet, confusing thing. Person.
My son.
The ride over to the house was quiet. Kept my eyes on the road and thought about everything as I drove. Occasionally, Faith would roll down the window and smoke, but other than that, it wasn't eventful. Probably never would be again.
Pulled onto a dirt road, taking it all the way back until I saw lights that belong to his new house. His new life. His new parents. Slowly, I looked over at Wes, then back at Faith.
"I'm gonna go ... just look, it won't take long," I told them and turned the car off. Got out of the car and slowly made my way to the familiar window that I would look in when I would check on him. But, this time, it was something different, he wasn't around. Then again, he probably was at a friends house.
"What are you doing?" I heard and looked behind me at someone familiar. His 'mom,' she came to Wolfram and Hart with ... him. Right.
"Um, nothing, I was just ..." Okay, this is awkward. "Just checking up on Connor and ..."
She gasped and put her hand over her mouth, started to cry and I knew. I knew.
My son was dead.
She started to walk into the house, saying that she would get her husband to explain what happened, but I didn't want to know because I already did know. I killed him. The betrayal of my friends to save my son backfired and it still ended up happening. When she went inside, I walked to the car and got in, not saying anything. Started it up and headed back to LA.
There was nothing else to live for and I knew that right then and there.
Go home ... now.
They'll destroy you.
As long as you're okay, they can't. Go.
Then he was gone and I was left to clean up the mess that I made. The betrayal of my friends and family. Wasn't their fault, never was and we already established that. Faith even knew this was all my fault, when she looks at me, it's almost like pity and anger. With Wes, it's still confusion and hurt feelings. Things that I can't take back, things that I guess I don't want to take back because it happened and it's over with and now all we have is eachother right? Thinking maybe it'll be best if I go my own way and Faith could take Wes back with her to Rome or wherever they are now. Buffy doesn't even trust me and I don't think I could ever see her, I don't want to see that look in her eyes that everyone else had for me when they found out what happened, or when Wes found out that everything that happened was a lie. The world changed for us for one simple yet, confusing thing. Person.
My son.
The ride over to the house was quiet. Kept my eyes on the road and thought about everything as I drove. Occasionally, Faith would roll down the window and smoke, but other than that, it wasn't eventful. Probably never would be again.
Pulled onto a dirt road, taking it all the way back until I saw lights that belong to his new house. His new life. His new parents. Slowly, I looked over at Wes, then back at Faith.
"I'm gonna go ... just look, it won't take long," I told them and turned the car off. Got out of the car and slowly made my way to the familiar window that I would look in when I would check on him. But, this time, it was something different, he wasn't around. Then again, he probably was at a friends house.
"What are you doing?" I heard and looked behind me at someone familiar. His 'mom,' she came to Wolfram and Hart with ... him. Right.
"Um, nothing, I was just ..." Okay, this is awkward. "Just checking up on Connor and ..."
She gasped and put her hand over her mouth, started to cry and I knew. I knew.
My son was dead.
She started to walk into the house, saying that she would get her husband to explain what happened, but I didn't want to know because I already did know. I killed him. The betrayal of my friends to save my son backfired and it still ended up happening. When she went inside, I walked to the car and got in, not saying anything. Started it up and headed back to LA.
There was nothing else to live for and I knew that right then and there.