(for blindengrau) If My Heart Was A House, You’d Be Home part iii

[kais]

part i | part ii

Early January and Kyungsoo could feel that Junmyeon and Chanyeol-who had gotten back together-were planning something for his birthday. They were suspiciously whispering in each other’s ears while watching over Kyungsoo whenever Junmyeon visited the café. The owner merely rolled his eyes in annoyance and glared at his employee who was too busy flirting with the owner’s ex to actually notice the nasty stare. They had been the ones who were the most enthusiastic to make Kyungsoo come back to his usual self because even though he refused to believe that he totally changed, he had to admit that Jongin’s departure had left a great impact in his life.

Three days before his birthday, Chanyeol shoved him to a salon, having Kyungsoo’s hair cut before pushing him into various boutiques in Westbourne Grove. It was a whole new challenge in Chanyeol’s life since Kyungsoo had been throwing a real fit during the ten-minute drive from Chelsea to Westbourne Grove and actually attempting an escape when the hairdresser dried his hair and practically ripped one of the coats in the salon. It was all thanks to Chanyeol’s long limbs and patience that they were now seated peacefully-at least in Chanyeol’s perspective-in a booth in a café, various shopping bags pooling around Kyungsoo’s feet courtesy of his own debit cards.

“Tell me I’m not gonna regret this soon.” Kyungsoo grumbled through the rim of his tea cup. If a stare could kill, Chanyeol would’ve been cut into two by now.

“Told you that a million times already,” the giant said, droopy eyes looking at the calming winter rain outside. He looked troubled, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt under the table and teeth abusing his lower lips. “Soo,” he looked up at Kyungsoo, nervousness evident in his gestures that made Kyungsoo’s brows shoot up to his hairline, “don’t you hate me?”

Suddenly Kyungsoo knew what this was all about. He tried to suppress his smile though because a nervous Chanyeol was a cute Chanyeol. “What? Why do I hate you?” He played the clueless card.

“Kyungsoo please you must know what I’m talking about.” His eyes were pleading and Kyungsoo’s wall crumbled down right at the moment. His cuteness didn’t do it justice.

“I know, it’s about Junmyeon right? You don’t have to worry about anything, really.” He reached out to pat the younger’s cheek affectionately because how could you hate a lost puppy as cute as Chanyeol? You couldn’t. “I was a bit hurt that time, yes. But I know that my relationship with Junmyeon had been really dull and on the brink of crumbling. It was our fault to have prolonged it. I’ve never thought that it was your fault, really.” He took a deep breath because honestly, speaking about his past with Junmyeon somehow made him think of Jongin. Afterall it was all because of Junmyeon that he had met Jongin. “You know I’m really happy that you and Junmyeon are back together. That grandpa won’t bug me ever again.” He chuckled and Chanyeol was more than ecstatic that he leaned across the table, draped his long arms around Kyungsoo successfully suffocating the older. They laughed loud enough for the other guests to turn their heads towards them and clucked their tongues. “Get off me you giant now they’ll think we’re actually a couple.”

“Shut up Soo I doubt they’ll think that you deserve such a beautiful god like me,” he whispered in Kyungsoo’s ear before letting him go, at the same time saving himself from the deadly fist of Do Kyungsoo. His laughter was loud from across the table.

“Now I regret all that I said.”

“But Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol reached out and held Kyungsoo’s hand, making the older smile, “thank you for all you’ve done. You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever known.”
“Now don’t say that. I cursed you a lot inwardly.”

“Really, Soo. You should get back together with Jongin, though.” Kyungsoo’s stomach dropped upon hearing Chanyeol’s words. Why the younger brought it up right now was beyond Kyungsoo’s comprehension. Even though there was a smile on his face, Kyungsoo could hear the seriousness in the tone that turned his feet into jelly. “Not that I know what made you break up with him, but you aren’t happy, Soo. In fact, you’re miserable and maybe you could think about it all over again, whether he deserves this treatment or not.”

Kyungsoo sighed, bringing Jongin in the conversation like this only made him think of Luhan and he thought that that night was the end of the world. He bit his lower lip because really, it threatened to curve downward anytime now and his eyes were already hot and brimming with tears. “No,” he choked his answer, “he already has someone.”

Chanyeol’s face fell. “It couldn’t be..” He carded his hair in distress and leaned back, shoulders slumped. “Who?”

“Someone you don’t know. It’s our neighbor, Luhan.”

The giant broke into a smile right at that moment, teeth abusing his lips to hold back the laughter threatening to erupt.

“Yeah you can laugh at me now, Yeol. I know I’m miserable, yeah?” Now that even Chanyeol laughed at him, his tears flowed down freely from his eyes, a rough stroke of his hands wiped them away.

“Hey, hey!” Chanyeol held his hands, preventing him from actually abusing his already red face, his laughter replaced with concern. “That wasn’t what I meant. Look, I don’t think he is his boyfriend or anything near that. I know this for sure, and that is why you need to talk to him again, to clear up this misunderstanding and for saving you from things like this.”

Chanyeol’s words fell onto deaf ears, or maybe it was just Kyungsoo that was too cowardly to face Jongin, that he couldn’t bring himself to even knock on Jongin’s door, even to come back home. He opted to do it at such an ungodly hour because then the younger would be asleep.

--

The couple only gave Kyungsoo three days to talk to Jongin, and when the younger missed the chance, the only thing they could do was abuse the younger on his birthday, dragging the ‘busy’ chef out of his own café and shoving him into a car, blindfolded, right after breaking into his kitchen and shouting “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”
The drive to the designated place was far from peaceful, actually Chanyeol had to manhandle Kyungsoo while Junmyeon was driving because the youngest of the three was actually kicking the driver’s seat, making Junmyeon who never curses-so angelic-actually curse the hell out loud, scaring his boyfriend. But Kyungsoo was fearless at times like this and cursed back, various dirty words in various languages flowed out of his potty mouth.

The cursing only ceased when they entered a chilly room, human voices reverberating from all directions and the light was bright even behind Kyungsoo’s clothed eyelids. With a level 10 pout he was seated in between Chanyeol and Junmyeon. The seat was velvety and somehow it made him comfortable-not that he would admit it to the crazy couple-and he sat slumped, defeated. When he felt Junmyeon’s hands untying the knot of the blindfold, he could finally breathe normally, letting go all of his nervousness that made his breath hitched before actually headlocking Chanyeol and Junmyeon.

When Kyungsoo took in his surroundings, his breath hitched yet again, eyes widening and jaw unhinged because in front of him was a huge darkened stage and music started blaring in his ears. His eyes made out shadows of people in the darker side of the stage, eyes quivering when he actually saw Jongin in the little crowd, handsome and sexy even in the dark. It was when the spotlight fell on Jongin and the younger’s eyes were staring straight into Kyungsoo’s, deep and sharp as if undressing Kyungsoo’s mind before dipping his hand inside the older’s mind to know what he was thinking about that the older’s heart cracked a bit more, remembering the feeling that was always there, lurking in the darker side of his heart. The feeling of longing. Kyungsoo felt like he was bare in front of Jongin, and he couldn’t help that his eyes said everything; his shock, his longing, his want to touch the younger, to actually feel how it felt to be in his arms again.

Jongin started moving his body and Kyungsoo felt like his own body turned into jelly, so weak like there was no energy left but at the same time he felt like he wanted to run to the stage, hug the dancer right then and there and there were like thousands of other people in the venue and five other dancers on the stage. But Chanyeol’s strong grip kept him in his seat and he for once felt so thankful for that. It didn’t help at all that Jongin never broke his gaze unless he needed to turn around, and Kyungsoo just hoped he didn’t look too desperate even though he knew his eyes practically begged Jongin to come back to him.

The loud applause, Chanyeol’s barbaric cheer, and the dimmed lights was all it took for Kyungsoo to let out his breath, confused and conflicted, because he didn’t even realize that the performance had already ended. All he could see was Jongin’s eyes boring into his own. Chanyeol nudged him in the ribs, making him jump in his seat a little bit before tilting his head to look at the younger, face still a little bit blank.

“Wanna go backstage?”

Before Kyungsoo could even answer, Chanyeol had pulled him up and dragged him to the side of the stage. He really, really wanted to back out and go home but Chanyeol would have none of it. Besides, it was the best time to do it since Jongin was always in his best mood after dancing and he himself was styled by the best fashionista in town by the name of Park Chanyeol. The dark room beside the stage was cold and a little bit damp and that didn’t feel good to Kyungsoo, so he inhaled deeply to suppress his nervousness and the need to puke all at once.

His hands were trembling badly and his feet felt like jelly once again but Chanyeol’s strong grip kept him walking straight. ’No backing out’ he kept saying that inwardly, though he didn’t know where he got this audacity and determination from, something told him that he really needed to do it now.

When Chanyeol was done talking with someone with a muscular body who looked like a security guard, he led them to a bright corridor where a series of doors with names attached on them greeted them. The security guard knocked on the door which had Jongin’s dance crew’s tag on it, before opening it for them. Kyungsoo was shoved in as soon as it opened and it clicked shut.

Kyungsoo looked at the door blankly before fear hit him and he forced himself to turn around, finding Jongin looking at him just as blankly. Cue the awkwardness. The older turned around yet again and hit the door repeatedly, crying out Chanyeol’s name and a string of curses to the younger. He might be kicked out of there right then and there but he actually didn’t care because seeing Jongin like this, after months and months of the cold shoulder between the two them, was suffocating and Kyungsoo only wanted to get out of there right now, determination thrown out of the window.

Jongin was the one who stopped Kyungsoo, his hand reaching out to the smaller man’s shoulder and turned him around slowly. Kyungsoo seemed to be frozen right after Jongin’s hand touched him and all he could do was stare at the younger’s deep eyes, stupefied.

“Happy birthday, Hyung,” were all Jongin’s first words.

Oh, how Kyungsoo missed listening to his voice! His stomach was fluttering so much that he wanted to puke (again) upon listening to Jongin’s voice. He nodded. All of his blood must’ve run to his cheeks and that left his brain empty and numb.

Kyungsoo raked his brain for an answer but nothing came out and Jongin beat him to it.

“Isn’t this a little bit awkward?” He shuffled his feet and brought his hand to his nape, scratching the skin there rather cutely. “At least I know you feel the same way too, Hyung. It wasn’t all one-sided then.”

“Yeah.” Out of all the things he could say, he only said that one single syllable and Kyungsoo cursed himself for it. His hands were all cold, realizing that he was the older and he might as well lead the conversation instead of croaking one single word and staring with wide eyes at Jongin. “Where-“ he cleared his throat before continuing, “where are the others? Sehun? Yixing?”

Jongin looked up at him and smiled sheepishly. “They’re all out as soon as we’re done with the performance, saying that they want to watch the main guest star’s performance or something. Guess they were all ganging up on me.”

“Oh.”

If Jongin was frustrated, he might be great at hiding it because he took a little step toward the older, hesitant but when Kyungsoo didn’t step away, he continued until he invaded his personal space. Kyungsoo might hate it but he just wanted--needed to do this because when he was this close he could actually believe that his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him, that the Kyungsoo in front of him was real.

“Did you enjoy the performance?” he breathed. “It was dedicated to you. You know, kind of your birthday gift.” Embarrassed, Jongin brought his hand to his nape, rubbing the skin in a cute manner and if Kyungsoo actually had the will to, he would’ve pulled him into a hug.

“Um,” he cleared his thoughts a little bit, thinking that if he was being honest he might hurt Jongin’s heart, and that was definitely not what he was going to do, “yeah. Perfect, as usual. And thank you so much?”

He could practically hear Jongin’s lips rip apart because he smiled so, so widely and sincerely and Kyungsoo was relieved that his lie wasn’t seen through.

“Thanks and no problem.” He stepped back and Noooo! Kyungsoo almost reached out his hand to pull him back. The proximity had been nice, no need to step away. But then Jongin led him to a seat and pulled him down.

The place where Jongin had held him had been electrified, almost jolting him. The younger’s hand was so, so cold but somehow that soothed Kyungsoo.

“We need to talk!” Kyungsoo blurted, cheeks dusted pink right after.

“We are talking, Hyung.”

“No, Jongin.” Kyungsoo looked at Jongin with pleading eyes, hoping the younger would listen to him now that he finally had the guts to do it. “Don’t act like there was nothing wrong between us.”

The younger’s head hung low, peeking at Kyungsoo from between his wet fringe. “That-“ He gulped and his hands were visibly trembling. In Kyungsoo’s eyes, Jongin was miserably handsome and he really would’ve hugged him if they weren’t on bad terms. The fact that Jongin didn’t claw his face out was already a relief to Kyungsoo. “I’m really sorry. I was...I was angry.”

“Yeah? And you kissed me like that, hit me in the corridor and-and did that to me?” Remembering that accident, Kyungsoo’s blood boiled and he wanted to hit Jongin so bad, but that probably wasn’t the best way to actually persuade the younger to get back to their previous relationship, whatever the name had been.

“I was wrong, Hyung. I was so angry at that time because of Junmyeon hyung and I was just-“

“Why?” Kyungsoo huffed, still trying to suppress his anger. “You never told me why the hell you were angry at Junmyeon.”

All Jongin could give as an answer was silence. The heavy atmosphere fell down upon them, suffocating and almost unbearable. Kyungsoo stared at the younger in silence, patiently waiting for Jongin to actually say something. The tap-tap of Kyungsoo’s shoes was the only sound in the room, berating and burdening Jongin at the same time because at times like this his confidence wavered.

“Aren’t you going to an-“

“I loved you,” Jongin blurted, eyes staring straight at Kyungsoo’s without any hint of fear or hesitance.

Kyungsoo gaped at the sudden confession, not that he hadn’t known it before because they did kiss at the café but hearing Jongin say this directly to him still made his world spin around so quick, losing his balance and the butterflies inside his stomach actually burst into hundreds of thousands more before fluttering frantically. “I-“

“No need to be sorry, Hyung.” Jongin sighed, shoulder slumped and he looked more miserable than before and older by a hundred years with tired, hazy eyes. “I’ve known since we kissed at the café that you didn’t like me back. I was convinced even more when you looked so happy when Junmyeon hyung said those words to you. I know it all but I just couldn’t contain my anger and my disappointment so I forced you like that afterward.”

The dancer cupped his face with his trembling hands, hiding his face behind them. He couldn’t bear to look at Kyungsoo out of embarrassment and Kyungsoo felt his heart break a little more because no, Jongin shouldn’t have been like that to him. He should be the most comfortable around him and definitely not like this, not to mention when he himself was actually feeling the same way toward the younger.

“I was really devastated knowing that you wouldn’t be as happy with me when I first kissed you. That was hurting me so much, and maybe Junmyeon hyung also knew that you were still into him so he said that to you.” He looked up at Kyungsoo, eyes hazy with tears threatening to fall and thousands of emotions bottled up inside. “You make a great couple with him though.”

“Yeah. I did make a great couple with him. I know, right?” Kyungsoo smiled, remembering his good times in the first year of his relationship with Junmyeon. The younger stared at him, sincere smile on his face upon seeing Kyungsoo smile even though his heart was actually screaming in pain. “I had to admit that I was confused after you kissed me that time at the café.”

“So I was right.” Jongin smiled; now the kind of smile that wasn’t reaching his eyes at all. And he wanted so much to run away from the torture.

“Doesn’t mean that I wasn’t happy, though.”

Jongin only stared at Kyungsoo’s eyes, boring holes into them and drowning himself in them. If anything, he hated this kind of situation where the older was blowing his hope up through the roof but he himself had to anchor his feet down on the ground. He told himself not to hope but Kyungsoo’s smile was just so, so beautiful that Jongin wanted to kiss him again and again until he couldn’t breathe.

“Can I kiss you?” Sometimes he hated his terrible brain-to-mouth filter at times like this.

Not a wrong move though. Definitely not a wrong move because Kyungsoo was obviously relaxed a bit, shoulders slumped but not in a disappointed manner and a smirk played on those wet, plushy red lips Jongin really wanted to ravish.

“Aren’t you going to let me confess back to you and ask me out first?” Kyungsoo gaped, feigning disbelief, earning a teary eyed laugh of relief from the younger.

Jongin cupped Kyungsoo’s cheeks and leaned closer so that their noses almost bumped, smiling so widely that all Kyungsoo saw was white teeth. It was cute, though!

“Yeah, why don’t you confess too? I would like to hear that.”

Kyungsoo groaned. Now he regretted all he had said. It was definitely going to be embarrassing saying that to Jongin. So he opted to lean in instead, attaching his lips to Jongin’s and closed his eyes. It was far from a sensational fiery kiss, instead it was an innocent, chaste kiss. Their lips connected to each other and neither of them moved, but then Jongin smiled and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but smile too and everything was perfect. Kyungsoo felt like he finally pushed a right button instead of pushing the self-destruction one again and again.

Kyungsoo pulled away first, satisfied to see Jongin still playing that childish smile on his handsome face. Jongin thread their fingers together, leaning back on the couch, shoulder to shoulder with the older, and a gush of nostalgia flooded his mind, when he and Kyungsoo used to sit like this on the older’s bed, watching Pororo or a bad movie Kyungsoo picked, teasing each other to no end. The realization hit him right on his face when he remembered something, the thing he should’ve used as Plan B if Kyungsoo hadn’t done this.

“Hyung,” Jongin looked at Kyungsoo, nervous eyes wavering but still trying hard to keep eye contact. “What if-what if I suddenly have to go somewhere far? Will you miss me?”

“What are you talking about? Of course I will.” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, fiddling with Jongin’s fingers like a little girl finding her old doll in one of the boxes in the attic and refusing to let go. “We’re boyfriends anyway.”

Boyfriends. It pulled the corner of Jongin’s lips up. The word was strange to him but at the same time he liked its sound sliding out his boyfriend’s mouth. He was more than grateful that Kyungsoo had boldly defined what was between them because he surely didn’t want to get all red like a boiled crab again while saying that big word. So he squeezed Kyungsoo’s hand lightly, thanking the older. “Yeah? You’ll wait for me to come back to you, then? And you know I’ll always come back to you, right?”

Kyungsoo chuckled at how cheesy Jongin could be. “Shut up, Jongin. Cut the crap already. What is it you want to say? It’s not like you’re gonna go to Mars or something because-“

“I’m going back to Korea tomorrow.”

Jongin had expected a wailing Kyungsoo, yelling at him so loud the entire block would hear him, but what he got was a stupefied, wide-eyed Kyungsoo, staring blankly at him, hands still clutching his. The older blinked several times before finally opening his mouth, asking Jongin whether or not he had packed his things.

Jongin almost gaped at the reaction because a calm Kyungsoo was a scary Kyungsoo, but then he realized that the older had always been like this. Almost expressionless. So Jongin tried again.

“I might not come back here in a very, very long time, Hyung.”

“That’s why I ask you if you’ve packed your stuff or not. I know you suck at it.”

The younger stopped himself from gaping and grimaced instead, silently asking the higher power out there what had got into his boyfriend. He smiled bitterly, remembering he would be parting with his boyfriend in less than 24 hours.

“Yeah. All ready. Just some stuff like a toothbrush and a towel because I’ll still need them tomorrow.”

“Remind me to help you pack up those things. You’d probably end up bringing too much liquid in your cabin baggage and I don’t want you to miss your flight just because you get held up in customs.” Kyungsoo ruffled Jongin’s hair in affection before resting his head on the younger’s chest, strong arms wrapped around his waist from behind. Small pecks landed on Kyungsoo’s hair and temple, a reward from Jongin for being such a calm boyfriend. “So you finally get into some kind of agreement with your father?”

Jongin heaved a sigh. “Actually I gave up dancing and agreed to take up the business alongside Junmyeon hyung.” Even though Jongin’s arms instinctively hold Kyungsoo tighter in his embrace when he said “Junmyeon hyung” as if Junmyeon would steal Kyungsoo from him and he liked the feeling so much, he didn’t miss the new information that actually Junmyeon was working in Jongin’s father’s company. How could he not know all this time? Then afterall he had never talked with Junmyeon about those things. That was just how bad their relationship was.

“So Junmyeon’s been working in your father’s company and you knew him all this time?” Kyungsoo slanted his eyes so sharply they slit Jongin’s throat. “And you’ve been hiding this from me since the first time we’ve met? Did you have fun seeing how foolish I was for not catching it sooner? How could you, Kim fucking Jongin?”

“And he’s actually my cousin. Kim Jongin and Kim Junmyeon.” He shrugged. Kyungsoo’s face was priceless and if Jongin hadn’t been in danger from hiding this all this time, he would’ve laughed loudly because of that. “See?”

Before Kyungsoo could flip a table though, Jongin shut him up with a kiss, hands cupping Kyungsoo’s cheeks and he knew right at that moment that the younger liked to cradle his face when they kissed. Their lips molded together and Kyungsoo closed his eyes, feeling the plump, cold lips on his hot one and everything fell into place once again. Everything felt so right Kyungsoo was afraid how only one kiss could melt his insides and make him forget everything. This time, it was another chaste kiss but there was some unexplainable feeling sitting in Kyungsoo’s stomach. An urgency, or insecurity, but maybe it was happiness, no one really knew. He sighed and pulled away before everything got too hot and sighed.

“Don’t get mad at me.” Jongin’s eyes were pleading and he looked like a lost puppy. Even though Kyungsoo had all the right in the world to be mad, how could he say no to this man?

“I was like a slut, dating two heirs of The Kim Empire who are actually cousins.” He sighed, fingers carding his hair in frustration and eyes not meeting Jongin’s. “And I hate feeling like this so don’t ever hide anything from me anymore okay? Last time we hid something from each other, we ended up drifting away.”

If anything, Jongin’s smile was a reward and Kyungsoo felt like he deserved to end up in Heaven by doing this. “Not in a million years. I was just kinda afraid you’d hate me if you knew I’m Junmyeon hyung’s cousin, you know? Thought you’d hate me for being blood related with that gramps.” He chuckled at his thought. He should’ve known Kyungsoo wasn’t that kind of person. “After all I’d set my eyes on you since middle school and call me sappy but I’d never wanted to be with someone as much as with you. That explains why I hated Junmyeon hyung for getting involved with you and actually tried to steal you from him, and I guess I succeeded?”

“Tell me you didn’t date Luhan first.” He asked even though it was a little bit too late but he needed to hear it from Jongin’s mouth.

“What?” Jongin spluttered his answer, eyes widened comically before doubling up in laughter while tightening his arms around the smaller man. Kyungsoo, pouted and glared at the younger, slapping his bare biceps repeatedly to make him shut the fuck up. “Didn’t Chanyeol tell you I was sexy, free and single?” Kyungsoo tsk-ed, the gut this kid got to even quote his favorite song. “How could you be so cute? Don’t tell me you’re jealous of Sehun’s old boyfriend.”

“Sehun’s?” He mumbled his question before slapping his palm to his lips, eyes widened in realization. “Sehun? He’s dating Sehun? Oh my God Kim Jongin you actually did the mission we talked about months ago?”

Jongin’s nasty eyebrow game and cocky smile were Kyungsoo’s only answer.

-

Later that night, after they were done checking on Jongin’s luggage once again, the younger insisted on sleeping at Kyungsoo’s, saying that he needed to say goodbye to the bed for the last time. Kyungsoo was more than willing to get some cuddling before Jongin had to leave because well, he was sad. To be honest he wasn’t ready to let Jongin go because they wasted too much time being apart already, and he really, really wanted to pout at everything he saw and cry under the rain but being the more refine and mature person he was, he just couldn’t stop fussing around the younger, focusing himself on helping Jongin, asking him whether or not there was something he needed or something he wanted him to pack up for lunch tomorrow, instead of wailing and screaming because then Jongin would be crying too and sappy goodbyes were just a no no.

They lied side by side on Kyungsoo’s bed, comforter high up to their chins and Jongin’s arms protectively curling around the older’s tiny torso, caressing the skin of Kyungsoo’s stomach.

“You’ve put your ticket in your wallet already?”

“Ticket already in my wallet, books to read and headphones in the front part of my backpack and enough phone battery to last until I die. Stop mothering me, Hyung.”

Kyungsoo sighed. Jongin might be the most worrying person in the world but it certainly wasn’t the first time he travelled abroad and he shouldn’t have been like this.
“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. You don’t look too well, though.” Jongin kissed the older’s shoulder, making him shudder pleasantly.

“You know why.”

“Yeah. You can cry if you want, don’t hold it in, Hyung.”

Kyungsoo turned around, facing the younger and caressing his cheek, eyes staring him deep into his eyes. “No. You go for good and I’m happy that you’re finally in a good place with your father. You’ve promised to contact me as much as you can and besides,” he leaned in, attaching his forehead to Jongin’s lips so that he kissed him and smiled, “we’ve been loving each other through ups and downs. I’m sure distance won’t be that much of a problem.”

The corners of Jongin’s lips curled upwards automatically. His chest was really warm and the butterflies in his stomach wouldn’t stop flying around. He must’ve saved a whole country in his past life now that he deserved this man in his arms as a boyfriend.

“Of course. I’ll be back before you know it.”

-
It was when Jongin unpacked his luggage that he found a jar full of paper cranes, their colours cute against the dim light of his room, sitting in the bottom of his luggage.

A piece of paper was attached to its lid and handwriting Jongin knew so well was on it.

“Happy birthday, my Jongin! I knew we wouldn’t be able to celebrate your birthday together (I didn’t even celebrate mine with yours T-T) but these paper cranes will accompany you so don’t be too lonely okay? Miss you already, baby. I love you! P.S. : Other than a symbol of good luck, they also grant wishes! So make a wish now! Hurry hurry!”

Jongin knew he couldn’t be any happier. He wished he could go back to Kyungsoo’s arm soon.

-

A month after Jongin’s departure, Kyungsoo was like the walking dead, eyes bloodshot and dark circles as big as China. He managed to live though, falling back to his habit when they were fighting; spent his time as much as he could at the café, trying new recipes in the nights and days.

Three months after Jongin’s departure was even worse. The only time he wasn’t sleeping was when Jongin called or asked him to go online to Skype. Chanyeol had to drag the younger to the café or else it would be closing down anytime soon and shoved food down his throat. He still lost weight drastically, though. Thanks to Chanyeol he was still alive until now.

In the fifth month, Kyungsoo banged on Luhan’s door and shoved a bottle of soju into the older’s hand and let himself into Luhan’s unit. He sat on one of the nasty pink couches there and cried his heart out, downing his third bottle of alcohol like it was water and spluttering about how he missed Jongin, how he was so horny right now and wanted to fly to Korea to actually get a good fuck from the younger. Luhan gulped, watching his drunk neighbor and sighing, listening to every miserable word he said while patting his chihuahua even though the clock struck midnight already.

They ended up lying on Luhan’s bed, face covered in collagen masks and watching Barbie Fairytopia Mermaidia because Kyungsoo refused to watch Pororo since he would be missing Jongin too much. Kyungsoo yelled at whatever evil fairy in the movie and Luhan joined soon after, hitting his bed repeatedly in frustration. They only slept when they felt too tired after crying over the happy ending.

It was five months later when Kyungsoo lost his cool. In the first week after the tenth month of their relationship, Kyungsoo was practically flipping tables and yelled at his phone because Jongin was clearly avoiding him, not talking to him unless Kyungsoo called. He even dared hang up the phone after a minute like he was uncomfortable talking to the older.

It didn’t help either that Kyungsoo was stressing over the plans for the opening of his café’s new branch in Seoul. It was rather difficult, very difficult even to expand his café far away in Korea rather than in another part of England but he wanted to try and he needed some excuse to visit Seoul more often without seeming like a clingy boyfriend.

So a day before the grand opening, he flew to Seoul without telling Jongin, popping out of the arrival of Incheon Airport without any warning and glaring at everyone like he owned the place.

Seoul was breezy in Autumn and Kyungsoo wanted to cry while munching on hot odeng because he just realized that he missed Korea so, so much. The accent that he had forgotten since years ago rushing in his ears everytime he passed by a crowd, the full Hangul billboards and school girls fawning over a poster of a boy group were a strange yet familiar sight. He smiled, maybe he should’ve come here months ago.
He took his time to calm himself down, strolling around the shoe shopping district of Dongdaemun-even though no rich people came to that market to shop-and actually taking a picture of himself in front of the Dongdaemun Gate like the tourist he was.

The red and yellow trees in the sidewalks in the sides of Cheonggyecheon stream was definitely a mellow sight, making Kyungsoo want to ride a blue bus to Gangnam already, where the office building of The Kim Empire was, and actually break down Jongin’s office door but he dipped his feet in the stream instead.

Even though the water was freezing cold, it was only calming to him. He remembered sitting here in summers with his parents while he was in elementary school, laughing while feeding the pigeons and ducks there. It was a golden time when he had no worries other than probably getting a C in an English test-which he would pass so effortlessly eventually-and when he felt like he had everything in the world.

His parents were his solace before the divorce and he needed to grow up already and accept the fact that everything had fallen apart. When he was being super sad and everything felt like drifting out of control, he would come to the stream, dipping his feet there and watching the clear water slipping through his toes. The river had become his favorite place, especially under the Mujeongyo near Gwangjan Market where there were not too many people. As he got up to leave, he wondered if it would be okay if he moved back to Korea.

-

Kyungsoo intended to surprise Jongin in his office-certainly not by breaking down his door, no-but what he got when he stepped inside the building was a handful of Jongin, running toward the main door while dragging Kyungsoo. Two women who suspiciously looked like Jongin so much chased after them and yelled at Jongin, telling him to stop. Jongin shoved Kyungsoo inside of his car and zoomed out as fast as he could, not before kissing Kyungsoo on the forehead and muttered an “I missed you so much.”

The sun had set and they somehow ended up in Cheonggyecheon stream again, this time the one near The Avenue of Youth across from the famous Insadong. Jongin dragged him down the bridge, pulling up his trousers before dipping his feet. He sighed, contentment obvious in his face.

“You surprised me back there in the office.” Jongin smiled. He looked even more mature and handsome now even under the dim blue light of Cheonggyecheon. His hair was styled professionally and slight wrinkles under his eyes even made him more attractive and charismatic. “Missed you so much, baby.”

Kyungsoo felt like crying rainbows when Jongin attached their lips together. It was sweet and cold, like a choco-mint ice cream he used to pig out on back in the first week of Jongin’s departure, intoxicating and addictive. He leaned closer and tilted his head so that he could deepen the kiss, clutching onto Jongin’s waist like his life depended on it. The younger cupped Kyungsoo’s cheeks and oh, how he missed this feeling so much. Skype was nowhere near this. He must’ve been living in hell back in London. No wonder he was now this desperate for his boyfriend’s attention.

When Jongin pulled away, his heart swelled upon seeing Kyungsoo’s unfocused eyes, drunk in their meaningful kiss.

“Welcome to Korea, baby. And congrats on the new Seoul branch!” He smiled teasingly, still childish as always and Kyungsoo felt his heart squeeze in a good way, falling in love all over again. “I’ve waited for you since this morning. What took you so long?”

Kyungsoo widened his eyes comically in surprise, opening and closing his mouth a few times before finally spluttering “How did you know?”

If the God of Cockiness watched Jongin right now, he would certainly be put to shame. The smugness in Jongin’s smirk was slap-worthy but being a shaken boyfriend Kyungsoo was, he could just stare blankly at the younger.

“I kind of calling a friend with the initial C when I couldn’t reach you via phone and no one picked up your apartment phone either, and it’s actually rude for not inviting me to the grand opening.”

Kyungsoo gritted his teeth. “Fucking Chanyeol.”

Jongin’s laughter rang in his ears and he dove in to peck Kyungsoo’s lips once again, still chuckling so loudly. “No one can fuck Chanyeol other than that gramps. Don’t worry, you can fuck me though.”

If they weren’t in a public place and Kyungsoo didn’t love his Jongin so much, he would’ve punched him in the face. Instead, he gave him a scandalous look and laid down on the cold pavement, watching the light blue illuminating the stones and water in the river from under the bridge. Jongin followed Kyungsoo’s action and soon they laid side by side, hands intertwined. It was so much like they had done back in the rooftop of their apartment in London, except that now they were watching the blue fluorescent lamps and listening to the calming sound of the stream instead of watching night skies. Kyungsoo remembered what Jongin said at that time and maybe this was what Jongin had talked about; to wait for him even though they were thousands of miles apart.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo looked up, watching Jongin’s beautiful side profile, the bridge of his nose, his plump red lips, the charisma that was oozing of maturity and serenity. Almost ethereal. Even now he was still amazed of the younger’s beauty, “I kinda broke my promise to you.”

The younger tilted his head, looking at Kyungsoo with curious eyes and a neatly hidden fear. If anything, Jongin didn’t expect Kyungsoo to fly all the way to Korea only to confess a sin.

“I promised you that I’d wait for you until you came back to London, remember?” He sighed, squeezing Jongin’s hand tightly in his like he would never let go. “But I guess I just couldn’t do that. I almost went crazy missing you. I felt like living in hell that I shoved a bottle of soju to Luhan and we drunk together, watching Barbie Fairytopia Mermaidia and yeah you could save that for teasing material I don’t really care.”

“You know what, Hyung? If only you could’ve waited a little bit more, you wouldn’t have to waste your money flying all the way here, because-“ Jongin rummaged his back pocket and pulled away a crumpled paper, showing it to Kyungsoo whose eyes went wider as seconds passed by.

“Is this-“ he snatched the paper and read it more closely, “a ticket to London?”

Jongin feigned disappointment, saying that if he had known Kyungsoo would come, he wouldn’t have wasted his money on this. Kyungsoo hit him with the ticket in return, if anything Jongin would’ve been grateful that he wasted his money to see his ignorant boyfriend.

“Thought you didn’t remember me even a second,” Kyungsoo scoffed, remembering his actual reason for being here, “I thought you had a girlfriend and was in the middle of sex or something when I called you and you hung up on me.”

Jongin’s eyes spluttered open in shock, pained that his boyfriend actually thought about nasty things like that. “I’m hurt.” He side-eyed Kyungsoo, lips pursed, arms crossed over his chest like he was literally hurt. “I did that because I wanted to surprise you, okay? Besides, I’m not having sex with anyone other than you, more or less a girl because I don’t really swing that way-“

“You weren’t bi?”

“-and I was going to go back to London to propose to you and yes, I’m not bi I only love dick. Yours.” Jongin said in one breath, gushing words after words while looking at Kyungsoo with wide and serious eyes. “Even though I have never seen yours but I’d like to-you know-do things to your junior.”

Kyungsoo blinked several times and oh, his eyes were so clear and big and honest and beautiful against the blue lamps and Jongin wanted so much to kiss his eyelids but he just literally talked about dick when he proposed to Kyungsoo and his heart couldn’t get any wilder in his chest-

“So you’re not bi.” Kyungsoo nodded. “Good.” And shrugged.

Jongin wanted to throw himself into the stream and drown himself there but the waters actually only reached his ankle and Kyungsoo would just laugh at him. Besides it was cold and he didn’t want to get sick because tomorrow he has an important meeting to attend to.

“Hyung.” Jongin sat up and leaned down a bit, looking down right at Kyungsoo’s eyes. “Out of the words I just said, you only caught that I’m actually a total gay?”

Kyungsoo sighed and sat up too before putting his hands on the younger’s shoulders. “I heard the others, I don’t have selective hearing you know? But don’t you think it’s so unromantic to propose to me while talking about dicks?”

“Yeah, but-“

“And I thought you’d have to, you know, do basic proposal things like kneel down and slip the ring on my ring finger and say things you need to say.” Kyungsoo sighed when Jongin only stared at him blankly, seriously this kid. So Kyungsoo kneeled down in front of Jongin, which is not really necessary since the dumber of the two was sitting, and looked at Jongin right in the eyes before rummaging his pants pocket and pulling out a velvet box. Crimson red dusted Kyungsoo’s cheeks-he insisted it was because of the chilly wind-when Jongin’s eyes grew wider and took the latter’s hand.

“Jongin, will you marry me?”

Kyungsoo was almost considering to go up the bridge and throw himself into the stream when Jongin kept his mouth shut, looking at the velvet box in the older’s hand. He followed Jongin’s line of vision, brows crunched, and the realization hit him.

“I should open the box first, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jongin answered blankly.

So Kyungsoo fumbled with the box, fingers trembling, nervousness spilling out of his fingertips because Jongin’s stare was still fixated on it, and successfully opened it--finally--when Jongin was about to reach out to help him. Jongin would’ve laughed if he wasn’t afraid of the chance of Kyungsoo throwing him into the stream--what? it’s so damn cold!, so he kept his mouth closed and let Kyungsoo take his right hand, smiling down at the older who was about to slip the ring onto his fourth finger, brows furrowed in concentration and that face was actually his favorite.

“Hyung, you beat me to it.”

When Kyungsoo was done, Jongin smiled and took Kyungsoo’s hand, slipping the ring so casually the older wanted to smack some sense into him.

“So we’re engaged now?” The younger reached out behind him-so much for admiring the silver band on his finger first-and pulled out a velvet box from his back pocket, playing it in between his fingers, smiling. “I was about to give you this, but shit got real and you actually knelt down. How could I say no?”

“Jongin that’s so unromantic, you should-“

“Yes Hyung I’ll marry you, no doubt.” The younger laughed at Kyungsoo who already launched his Satansoo 2.0 face and leaned forward, kissing the older’s forehead.
“But don’t you think things get hard if we live miles away? Literally and metaphorically.”

“Umm… we can-“

“No Hyung, don’t tell me we would go through a long distance relationship even when we’re married. Married couples live together you know, basic marriage things.”

“You keep cutting off my words.” He sighed, knowing that Jongin was right and mentally smacked himself for proposing to Jongin without considering big thing like this. But then again Jongin was about to propose to him too! He said so himself. So he kept being indignant. “You were about to propose, too.”

“I intended to fly to London and get you to be my fiancé, even if you refused me I’d still find a way to get you to be my fiancé though it was nearly impossible that you’d refuse me,” Kyungsoo scoffed at this. “And things will get better from there. We will work things out and either I go back to London or you go back to Korea before we actually get married. We both know I can’t just move back to London because of my job and neither can you. But what concerns me the most was that you’d get some assurance that I’m serious about you and want to keep this relationship going strong before we get married and live together. Got it?”

Kyungsoo almost cried listening to Jongin’s words. Sometimes this kid could be really mature if he wanted to. So he nodded and pulled Jongin into an embrace, whispering yes I understand’s in the younger’s ear and marveled at the touch Jongin trailed on his back. Jongin smelled like espresso and autumn wind and he wished he could bottle up his scent because he’d definitely miss this when he got back to London.

“So we’re engaged now, and from now on I’ll try to coax my father to move me to the London branch even though the chance isn’t that big because there’s Junmyeon Hyung there, but I’ll try okay? It may take a long time because I need to prove to him that I can do well even without him checking up on my work everyday, but be patient will you?” Jongin said, breath against Kyungsoo’s neck and he left some gentle pecks on it, enough to give the older goosebumps.

“What about me moving to Korea instead?”

Jongin pulled away, holding Kyungsoo’s shoulders and looked at him in the eyes, searching for seriousness, which he could, fortunately, easily find.

“What? It’s easier that way. I opened a branch here already and I can believe Chanyeol can handle the London branch without me,” he grimaced, “well, hopefully. But yeah I can teach him a thing or two while planning our marriage before moving here. I was considering to do so actually. Guess I love this place so much.”

The big grin on Jongin’s face was satisfying Kyungsoo. His heart swelled in happiness seeing the dazzling eyes in front of him and when the younger rained kisses on him, he couldn’t help but laugh and yes, this was so going to be real good from now on. Definitely.

He couldn’t stop smiling that night.

-

Kyungsoo laid on Jongin’s bed-so much for sleeping in a cold, lonely hotel room--shoulder to shoulder with the younger and soon became chest to chest. He actually had a house know in Seocho-dong, complete with an unnecessarily huge dance studio in the back part of the house, and now that everything was secure, they both couldn’t wait to be a married couple. Although some people said that marriage wouldn’t be as good as fairytales, Kyungsoo believed everything would at least be just fine with Jongin, if not incredible.

“So how many puppies will we adopt?”

“We won’t adopt puppies, Jongin. We’ll adopt kids.”

A deafening silence until a minute later.

“One?” Jongin croaked from under Kyungsoo’s chin.

“Two.”

“One boy, one girl?”

“Deal.”

“And a puppy?”

“Deal.”

And they sealed the deal with a kiss.

**Congratulations on finishing reading this super long fic. I hope you like it!
***And to my recipient, once again, thanks for such great prompt, I had fun writing this!! (present you my love)