Some personal notes for Wish You Were Here
Wish You Were Here
I wanted to add something more personal, about how writing this was for me- just because I wanted to share. This probably shouldn’t be read before reading the fic (its ok, it'll just color the reading, probably!).
This is the third fic I’ve tried to write for this exchange, and it's sort of about why I was not able to write the previous ones. I felt like it was partially lying. Then I watched [something that aired about two weeks ago]the third new episode of Gilmore Girls and knew I had to write this - to write something more honest. About now. Rather than loging for what could be or was or idk. About trying to be someplace else.
This started out as gen, as just what I’ve been feeling about the show for so long now. That Dean was held back, switched off. My ship, my beloved ship that I literally wanted to have with me for always (I mean, I’ve gone to some ‘crazy fangirl’ lengths, believe me, some possibly-lifelong stuff ) - was still there - the show hasn’t ended like I’d feared for so long, it still looked as if it were there - and every episode I hoped all over again, in my heart of hearts, and every time, almost every time, it was not there anymore, or was it….
This was written while crying my eyes out over my boys, my ship. This was my goodbye, of sorts. I could not get over season 10 and the way it was not never resolved. But since season 8 I’d felt like Dean, or Jensen, or the writing or idk - was pushing me away, was leaving without leaving.... This was a lament. I didn’t manage to properly convey my feelings in the story, not properly well, but it’s true. It hurts so much every time. And there isn’t ever anyone to talk this over with - which I get - but it makes me feel so isolated, and it makes me doubt myself....
I will end on a different note - and say - having managed to get this written ,
I look at it and maybe better understand Dean. It may not come through well, but this sort of explains for me why and where he could be coming from.... which is a kindness I was not expecting, and gives me some hope…. Idk…. Thanks for reading.
<lj user=" />" /> had generously invited her gifter to write what they need to write. I didn’t intend to do that, but I guess I did….
I wanted to add something more personal, about how writing this was for me- just because I wanted to share. This probably shouldn’t be read before reading the fic (its ok, it'll just color the reading, probably!).
This is the third fic I’ve tried to write for this exchange, and it's sort of about why I was not able to write the previous ones. I felt like it was partially lying. Then I watched [something that aired about two weeks ago]the third new episode of Gilmore Girls and knew I had to write this - to write something more honest. About now. Rather than loging for what could be or was or idk. About trying to be someplace else.
This started out as gen, as just what I’ve been feeling about the show for so long now. That Dean was held back, switched off. My ship, my beloved ship that I literally wanted to have with me for always (I mean, I’ve gone to some ‘crazy fangirl’ lengths, believe me, some possibly-lifelong stuff ) - was still there - the show hasn’t ended like I’d feared for so long, it still looked as if it were there - and every episode I hoped all over again, in my heart of hearts, and every time, almost every time, it was not there anymore, or was it….
This was written while crying my eyes out over my boys, my ship. This was my goodbye, of sorts. I could not get over season 10 and the way it was not never resolved. But since season 8 I’d felt like Dean, or Jensen, or the writing or idk - was pushing me away, was leaving without leaving.... This was a lament. I didn’t manage to properly convey my feelings in the story, not properly well, but it’s true. It hurts so much every time. And there isn’t ever anyone to talk this over with - which I get - but it makes me feel so isolated, and it makes me doubt myself....
I will end on a different note - and say - having managed to get this written ,
I look at it and maybe better understand Dean. It may not come through well, but this sort of explains for me why and where he could be coming from.... which is a kindness I was not expecting, and gives me some hope…. Idk…. Thanks for reading.
<lj user=" />" /> had generously invited her gifter to write what they need to write. I didn’t intend to do that, but I guess I did….