[April 21st] [Yu-Gi-Oh!] What Do You Believe In?
Title: What Do You Believe In?
Day/Prompt: April 21st - Sometimes you've got to believe in something
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Character/Pairing: The Big 5 (focusing on Lector and Nesbitt)
Rating/Warning(s): G, dub-verse, post-canon, references to other stories, the Big Five trying to reform, spiritual content
I might expand this later.... Just wanted to get it up before the deadline. I have a huge stack of blurbs I'll be posting on Amnesty Day, and I wanted to get at least one done on the actual day, heh.
By Lucky_Ladybug
"Lector?"
Lector looked up to see Nesbitt awkwardly standing in the doorway of his bedroom-not a sight he had often seen in the past, but these days, as they all drew closer and as Nesbitt revealed some of the questions he had been curious about but had never wanted to ask before, it was more frequent.
"What is it?" Lector asked.
Nesbitt slowly walked in. "I've been wondering ever since we went to New Orleans. . . . It seems like you were brought up being taught about both Catholicism and voodoo, and that a lot of your family tries to combine them into one thing. Am I correct?"
"Yes," Lector slowly said. "It was about the only thing Mother was stubborn about enough to go against Father. She didn't want that part of the family's heritage to be lost."
Nesbitt's expression darkened, and it was obvious what he was thinking. She had insisted on teaching him vodun, but she wouldn't go against her husband when he decided to throw Lector to the wolves to protect the rest of the family?
". . . What did you want to ask me?" Lector prompted, not wanting to send Nesbitt down another outraged path of vengeance.
Nesbitt shook himself back to the present. "You don't believe in voodoo, but what about the rest? Do you believe what your father taught you?"
Lector looked away. ". . . I don't know. I would like to, but do I? I'm hardly a good example of a Christian. Look at what all of us did in Noa's world."
"At least you were in partially because you were trying to bring down justice on Kaiba, rather than blindly wanting revenge," Nesbitt muttered.
"And I still feel like some people need justice brought down on them," Lector said. "But that's probably not being a good Christian either. ‘Vengeance is mine, thus saith the Lord.'"
"Well . . . the way I see it, God probably doesn't want people to just stand by and accept injustices if there's something they can do to fix them." Nesbitt shifted uncomfortably.
"I suppose," Lector said. "But then trying to fight injustice when we were committing injustices ourselves is rather hypocritical, don't you think? We went after all those innocent kids trying to claim their bodies to get back to the real world. What right have I got to try to stop a ruthless person like Seto Kaiba under those circumstances?"
"At least you stayed pretty focused on Kaiba alone," Nesbitt said. "You didn't go after anyone else until after you lost to him, and then I think you snapped mainly because you were so desperate to help all of us leave. It still wasn't right to try to go after the kids, I know, but . . . you never were in it just for yourself. You cared about all of us. I can't say the same for myself." He looked away.
"I know you actually were trying to help us," Lector said. "That was why you did the three-way duel. When you couldn't win against all of them but thought you had a way out for yourself, you had a moment of selfishness and you wanted to leave before anything else went wrong."
"Of course, we were all selfish to try to switch places with the kids," Nesbitt sighed. "And I still wonder and worry sometimes what I would have done had I really made it back to the real world alone."
"Considering that Noa was so poisoned by hate as to try to kill us and blow up the entire virtual world to kill everyone else, and he had a change of heart, I can't believe you wouldn't have as well," Lector said. "Noa was far more lost than any of us. I think if you had got out, you would have regretted it and come back for us."
"I want to believe that," Nesbitt said quietly. "I just don't know."
"And you'll never know," Lector pointed out. "Leave it be, Nesbitt. Just move on."
Nesbitt looked to him. "Well, you should move on too."
Lector quirked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"Thinking you're not good enough to be a Christian. I mean, isn't that kind of the whole point? God wants the sinners to come to Him and repent. He'd probably be glad to hear from you."
Lector bowed his head. "I suppose you're right."
"I never thought I'd hear myself talking about God like He's real," Nesbitt muttered. He leaned back. "I was raised in a Christian family, but I rejected all the teachings when I was old enough to think deeply about things. None of it sounded logical to me. I couldn't understand all their pious acceptance of all the questions that baffled me. My machines made far more sense to me. I knew how to put them together, I knew how they worked, I knew every in and out of them. They weren't like some distant omnipotent being whose decisions never made sense to me. Why do good people suffer and die? Why do those who don't deserve to live, live on?"
He sighed and laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I still don't understand those questions. But I was brought back to life by an angel after I was killed saving you. So were Gansley, Crump, and Johnson. God is real, and He apparently thought we were all worth saving." He shook his head.
". . . I suppose I've always believed God is real too," Lector said. "I strayed far from the family teachings, but I can't recall there ever being a time when I didn't believe in God."
"Everybody believes in something, even if it's just themselves," Nesbitt said. "Because no matter how much they might think they don't need or want to, no one wants to think that there's nothing worth believing in."
"That's not something I would have expected to hear from you, Nesbitt," Gansley mused suddenly from the doorway.
"Not that it's not nice to hear," Crump added.
Nesbitt flushed and looked away. "Sometimes, what sounded illogical in the past seems logical now," he admitted.
"I think I agree with that," Johnson said.
"All of us do, on different matters," Gansley said.
Lector studied Nesbitt in concern and curiosity. "Why did you want to ask me about this tonight, Nesbitt?"
Nesbitt sat up again. "Eh. No real reason. It was just something I've been wondering and I finally decided to get around to asking."
That might be all it was or there might be more, but Lector would respect Nesbitt's wishes and not quiz him further right now. He would talk about the rest, if there was any more, when he was ready.
Day/Prompt: April 21st - Sometimes you've got to believe in something
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Character/Pairing: The Big 5 (focusing on Lector and Nesbitt)
Rating/Warning(s): G, dub-verse, post-canon, references to other stories, the Big Five trying to reform, spiritual content
I might expand this later.... Just wanted to get it up before the deadline. I have a huge stack of blurbs I'll be posting on Amnesty Day, and I wanted to get at least one done on the actual day, heh.
By Lucky_Ladybug
"Lector?"
Lector looked up to see Nesbitt awkwardly standing in the doorway of his bedroom-not a sight he had often seen in the past, but these days, as they all drew closer and as Nesbitt revealed some of the questions he had been curious about but had never wanted to ask before, it was more frequent.
"What is it?" Lector asked.
Nesbitt slowly walked in. "I've been wondering ever since we went to New Orleans. . . . It seems like you were brought up being taught about both Catholicism and voodoo, and that a lot of your family tries to combine them into one thing. Am I correct?"
"Yes," Lector slowly said. "It was about the only thing Mother was stubborn about enough to go against Father. She didn't want that part of the family's heritage to be lost."
Nesbitt's expression darkened, and it was obvious what he was thinking. She had insisted on teaching him vodun, but she wouldn't go against her husband when he decided to throw Lector to the wolves to protect the rest of the family?
". . . What did you want to ask me?" Lector prompted, not wanting to send Nesbitt down another outraged path of vengeance.
Nesbitt shook himself back to the present. "You don't believe in voodoo, but what about the rest? Do you believe what your father taught you?"
Lector looked away. ". . . I don't know. I would like to, but do I? I'm hardly a good example of a Christian. Look at what all of us did in Noa's world."
"At least you were in partially because you were trying to bring down justice on Kaiba, rather than blindly wanting revenge," Nesbitt muttered.
"And I still feel like some people need justice brought down on them," Lector said. "But that's probably not being a good Christian either. ‘Vengeance is mine, thus saith the Lord.'"
"Well . . . the way I see it, God probably doesn't want people to just stand by and accept injustices if there's something they can do to fix them." Nesbitt shifted uncomfortably.
"I suppose," Lector said. "But then trying to fight injustice when we were committing injustices ourselves is rather hypocritical, don't you think? We went after all those innocent kids trying to claim their bodies to get back to the real world. What right have I got to try to stop a ruthless person like Seto Kaiba under those circumstances?"
"At least you stayed pretty focused on Kaiba alone," Nesbitt said. "You didn't go after anyone else until after you lost to him, and then I think you snapped mainly because you were so desperate to help all of us leave. It still wasn't right to try to go after the kids, I know, but . . . you never were in it just for yourself. You cared about all of us. I can't say the same for myself." He looked away.
"I know you actually were trying to help us," Lector said. "That was why you did the three-way duel. When you couldn't win against all of them but thought you had a way out for yourself, you had a moment of selfishness and you wanted to leave before anything else went wrong."
"Of course, we were all selfish to try to switch places with the kids," Nesbitt sighed. "And I still wonder and worry sometimes what I would have done had I really made it back to the real world alone."
"Considering that Noa was so poisoned by hate as to try to kill us and blow up the entire virtual world to kill everyone else, and he had a change of heart, I can't believe you wouldn't have as well," Lector said. "Noa was far more lost than any of us. I think if you had got out, you would have regretted it and come back for us."
"I want to believe that," Nesbitt said quietly. "I just don't know."
"And you'll never know," Lector pointed out. "Leave it be, Nesbitt. Just move on."
Nesbitt looked to him. "Well, you should move on too."
Lector quirked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"Thinking you're not good enough to be a Christian. I mean, isn't that kind of the whole point? God wants the sinners to come to Him and repent. He'd probably be glad to hear from you."
Lector bowed his head. "I suppose you're right."
"I never thought I'd hear myself talking about God like He's real," Nesbitt muttered. He leaned back. "I was raised in a Christian family, but I rejected all the teachings when I was old enough to think deeply about things. None of it sounded logical to me. I couldn't understand all their pious acceptance of all the questions that baffled me. My machines made far more sense to me. I knew how to put them together, I knew how they worked, I knew every in and out of them. They weren't like some distant omnipotent being whose decisions never made sense to me. Why do good people suffer and die? Why do those who don't deserve to live, live on?"
He sighed and laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I still don't understand those questions. But I was brought back to life by an angel after I was killed saving you. So were Gansley, Crump, and Johnson. God is real, and He apparently thought we were all worth saving." He shook his head.
". . . I suppose I've always believed God is real too," Lector said. "I strayed far from the family teachings, but I can't recall there ever being a time when I didn't believe in God."
"Everybody believes in something, even if it's just themselves," Nesbitt said. "Because no matter how much they might think they don't need or want to, no one wants to think that there's nothing worth believing in."
"That's not something I would have expected to hear from you, Nesbitt," Gansley mused suddenly from the doorway.
"Not that it's not nice to hear," Crump added.
Nesbitt flushed and looked away. "Sometimes, what sounded illogical in the past seems logical now," he admitted.
"I think I agree with that," Johnson said.
"All of us do, on different matters," Gansley said.
Lector studied Nesbitt in concern and curiosity. "Why did you want to ask me about this tonight, Nesbitt?"
Nesbitt sat up again. "Eh. No real reason. It was just something I've been wondering and I finally decided to get around to asking."
That might be all it was or there might be more, but Lector would respect Nesbitt's wishes and not quiz him further right now. He would talk about the rest, if there was any more, when he was ready.