Challenge #132: Random Elements
Title: She wears what?
Rating: G
Pairings: None
Author's notes: Time taken: 34 minutes. Any missing apostrophes or inverted commas are a side-effect of writing in Word. As a challenge to myself, I wanted to write the lacy underwear in in a non-sexual setting. All comments and criticisms appreciated.
"We've done it!"
Ron covered his head with his potions homework (fifteen inches, Professor Snape had requested), and winced at the sound of his brother's jubilant announcement. The rest of the Gryffindor common room fell silent, every head turned towards the Weasley twins, who had just appeared through the portrait hole.
"Behold!" George announced, gesturing elaborately at Fred in a manner reminiscent of a muggle game-show host. "I give you..." he paused for effect. "Professor Umbridge’s underwear!"
Fred bounced his wand up and down at a pile of black lace in front of him, muttering an incantation under his breath, and sure enough, the negligee got up and did a little dance in mid-air.
Ron had, just at that moment, taken an ill-considered sip of pumpkin juice. He choked, and spat it all over Pavarti Patil, who gave him a venomous look. Ignoring it, he managed to rasp out, "She wears that? And just how did you get it, anyway?"
"Ah little brother," George began paternally, reaching over to pat him on the back - rather harder than his choking warranted. "We could tell you, but we’ve had our share of howlers from Mum this year, and honestly, you have trouble keeping your mouth shut."
"I do not!" Ron exclaimed indignantly.
The room exploded in laughter. The negligee was doing backflips now, with Fred beaming from ear to ear at all the attention and applause from the Gryffindor students. The stairways to the dorms were filling up, as students were drawn down to see what all the commotion was.
"That’s nothing!" George yelled, drawing his own wand and pointing it at a discarded book. Only Hermione could have brought such a monstrous tome into the room. It was about as thick as all of Ron's text books put together. As the students called out encouragement, the book flew through the air until it floated just in front of the negligee, and the pages began to turn of their own accord.
"Today, students, you will read Chapter Five. There will be no need to talk."
The room hushed immediately. The voice was so like Professor Umbridge's that several of the more timid first years scurried back into their dorms. Fred almost wet himself laughing, flourishing his wand at the negligee which added of its own accord "Write fifty times, 'I must not tell lies.'"
Even Ron couldn't help laughing at that. The book bobbed about comically in front of the underwear, and George bowed.
Nobody noticed the portrait hole opening up, not until Professor McGonnagle's voice penetrated the laughter in the room. "Really, Dolores, we don’t disturb the students unless it is absolutely necessary."
"I assure you, it is absolutely necessary!"
Fred and George only had a moment to whip the lacy underwear out of sight, the book clattering noisily to the ground, before the woman herself appeared, her toad-like face tight with anger. Only a few students managed to vanish into the dorms. The rest just stood around attempting to look innocent. Ron had to snatch his potions homework from a third year who'd decided to use it as a cover story. "Get your own!" he hissed.
"And just what is going on here?" Professor Umbridge's voice was cold. She stared around at the assembly, her eyes accusing every student in the room.
"Studying, Professor," George piped up helpfully, earning himself the full force of that glare.
"A likely story," the woman pulled out a notebook and a quill from a small bag she carried with her. "You will all give me your names. You’ll be on detention tomorrow night, and every night thereafter until I discover who has been stealing from my room!"
"And," she added nastily. "When I do find out, it'll be the worse for them." She glared meaningfully at the Weasley twins. "You first," she ordered. "Names?"
"Draco Malfoy," George supplied cheerfully. "And my brother, Crabbe."
Everyone in the room stifled a snigger. Ron couldn't help himself. He glanced over at Professor McGonnagle, waiting for her to correct his brother. She was standing still, her expression bland, saying nothing at all. As she caught his gaze, he could have sworn he saw her wink.
Rating: G
Pairings: None
Author's notes: Time taken: 34 minutes. Any missing apostrophes or inverted commas are a side-effect of writing in Word. As a challenge to myself, I wanted to write the lacy underwear in in a non-sexual setting. All comments and criticisms appreciated.
"We've done it!"
Ron covered his head with his potions homework (fifteen inches, Professor Snape had requested), and winced at the sound of his brother's jubilant announcement. The rest of the Gryffindor common room fell silent, every head turned towards the Weasley twins, who had just appeared through the portrait hole.
"Behold!" George announced, gesturing elaborately at Fred in a manner reminiscent of a muggle game-show host. "I give you..." he paused for effect. "Professor Umbridge’s underwear!"
Fred bounced his wand up and down at a pile of black lace in front of him, muttering an incantation under his breath, and sure enough, the negligee got up and did a little dance in mid-air.
Ron had, just at that moment, taken an ill-considered sip of pumpkin juice. He choked, and spat it all over Pavarti Patil, who gave him a venomous look. Ignoring it, he managed to rasp out, "She wears that? And just how did you get it, anyway?"
"Ah little brother," George began paternally, reaching over to pat him on the back - rather harder than his choking warranted. "We could tell you, but we’ve had our share of howlers from Mum this year, and honestly, you have trouble keeping your mouth shut."
"I do not!" Ron exclaimed indignantly.
The room exploded in laughter. The negligee was doing backflips now, with Fred beaming from ear to ear at all the attention and applause from the Gryffindor students. The stairways to the dorms were filling up, as students were drawn down to see what all the commotion was.
"That’s nothing!" George yelled, drawing his own wand and pointing it at a discarded book. Only Hermione could have brought such a monstrous tome into the room. It was about as thick as all of Ron's text books put together. As the students called out encouragement, the book flew through the air until it floated just in front of the negligee, and the pages began to turn of their own accord.
"Today, students, you will read Chapter Five. There will be no need to talk."
The room hushed immediately. The voice was so like Professor Umbridge's that several of the more timid first years scurried back into their dorms. Fred almost wet himself laughing, flourishing his wand at the negligee which added of its own accord "Write fifty times, 'I must not tell lies.'"
Even Ron couldn't help laughing at that. The book bobbed about comically in front of the underwear, and George bowed.
Nobody noticed the portrait hole opening up, not until Professor McGonnagle's voice penetrated the laughter in the room. "Really, Dolores, we don’t disturb the students unless it is absolutely necessary."
"I assure you, it is absolutely necessary!"
Fred and George only had a moment to whip the lacy underwear out of sight, the book clattering noisily to the ground, before the woman herself appeared, her toad-like face tight with anger. Only a few students managed to vanish into the dorms. The rest just stood around attempting to look innocent. Ron had to snatch his potions homework from a third year who'd decided to use it as a cover story. "Get your own!" he hissed.
"And just what is going on here?" Professor Umbridge's voice was cold. She stared around at the assembly, her eyes accusing every student in the room.
"Studying, Professor," George piped up helpfully, earning himself the full force of that glare.
"A likely story," the woman pulled out a notebook and a quill from a small bag she carried with her. "You will all give me your names. You’ll be on detention tomorrow night, and every night thereafter until I discover who has been stealing from my room!"
"And," she added nastily. "When I do find out, it'll be the worse for them." She glared meaningfully at the Weasley twins. "You first," she ordered. "Names?"
"Draco Malfoy," George supplied cheerfully. "And my brother, Crabbe."
Everyone in the room stifled a snigger. Ron couldn't help himself. He glanced over at Professor McGonnagle, waiting for her to correct his brother. She was standing still, her expression bland, saying nothing at all. As she caught his gaze, he could have sworn he saw her wink.