Wake Up The Voiceless (TRC, Kurogane x Fai, #12)
Title: Wake Up The Voiceless
Author: vio55
Pairing: Kurogane x Fai D. Flowright
Fandom: Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE
Theme: #12 - on a whim
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Wake Up The Voiceless
"Mokona, do you think you could imitate my voice like you did with Kuro-rin's that one time?"
Fai regrets saying anything the second he's finished speaking. The question came from nowhere; he hadn't thought about it before asking, which didn't happen often. He scolds himself because of the pain it will bring him, and because it's going to result with Mokona lying, as his voice will be entirely different from what he really feels inside. Mokona will turn into a liar, just like himself--and Fai never wants the same kind of fate for anyone else, even if they're like him for just one fleeting moment.
"We hear enough of your voice already. Don't make the white thing make it any worse," Kurogane says harshly.
Fai had forgotten Kurogane was present, too. He wishes that Kurogane would just walk away, find something else to do, because he fears breaking down and witnessing more deceit than truly necessary.
"Mokona can do that!" Mokona says happily.
"That would be greatly appreciated," Fai says quietly, unsure if either one of them can hear him. He wonders if Mokona suddenly losing the ability to imitate voices is too much to hope for.
"Kuro-puu and me are going to be the best of friends. Isn't that right, Kuro-puu?" Mokona says, her voice as reassuring and honest and mirthful as Fai's always appears to be.
Fai can still feel himself smiling, but inside, he's frowning--not at the fact Kurogane will have a negative reaction toward Mokona's question, but at how convincing he sounds. He tries to recall where this false voice of his had begun, but he can't remember because it's been way too long and he doesn't think there's ever been a time where he had spoken using his real self, anyway. He simply ends up believing that the way he presents himself by speaking was just created over years and years of practice.
"I don't fucking think so," Kurogane mumbles, and Fai focuses on what's in front of him once again: lies and trickery.
"Why not, Kuro-sama? Surely, you don't think Mokona's imitation wasn't very good?" he asks. He sounds cheerful, innocent, even after everything that's been going through his mind in just the last few minutes. He realizes he doesn't even have to try anymore. Since when had it been that way? He doesn't know. There are too many question, and too little answers, he thinks, which he's been running from as he's traveled world to world, and he hates himself again for allowing himself to confront it all when it could have easily been prevented.
"It's not that. It sounded just like you unfortunately."
"How so?" Fai inquires, thinking he just needs to stop, stop it now, as he knows he's going to push this further than he has to when he can end it swiftly and shove this incident in the back of his mind along with the countless other dreadful memories he has.
"What do you mean? You of all people should know... It was just a little bit too happy-go-lucky and little bit too carefree, just like you. That's how."
Fai doesn't think Kurogane could be further from the truth, but he says nothing, because that's how it always has been, how it is now, and how it always will be.
Author: vio55
Pairing: Kurogane x Fai D. Flowright
Fandom: Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE
Theme: #12 - on a whim
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Wake Up The Voiceless
"Mokona, do you think you could imitate my voice like you did with Kuro-rin's that one time?"
Fai regrets saying anything the second he's finished speaking. The question came from nowhere; he hadn't thought about it before asking, which didn't happen often. He scolds himself because of the pain it will bring him, and because it's going to result with Mokona lying, as his voice will be entirely different from what he really feels inside. Mokona will turn into a liar, just like himself--and Fai never wants the same kind of fate for anyone else, even if they're like him for just one fleeting moment.
"We hear enough of your voice already. Don't make the white thing make it any worse," Kurogane says harshly.
Fai had forgotten Kurogane was present, too. He wishes that Kurogane would just walk away, find something else to do, because he fears breaking down and witnessing more deceit than truly necessary.
"Mokona can do that!" Mokona says happily.
"That would be greatly appreciated," Fai says quietly, unsure if either one of them can hear him. He wonders if Mokona suddenly losing the ability to imitate voices is too much to hope for.
"Kuro-puu and me are going to be the best of friends. Isn't that right, Kuro-puu?" Mokona says, her voice as reassuring and honest and mirthful as Fai's always appears to be.
Fai can still feel himself smiling, but inside, he's frowning--not at the fact Kurogane will have a negative reaction toward Mokona's question, but at how convincing he sounds. He tries to recall where this false voice of his had begun, but he can't remember because it's been way too long and he doesn't think there's ever been a time where he had spoken using his real self, anyway. He simply ends up believing that the way he presents himself by speaking was just created over years and years of practice.
"I don't fucking think so," Kurogane mumbles, and Fai focuses on what's in front of him once again: lies and trickery.
"Why not, Kuro-sama? Surely, you don't think Mokona's imitation wasn't very good?" he asks. He sounds cheerful, innocent, even after everything that's been going through his mind in just the last few minutes. He realizes he doesn't even have to try anymore. Since when had it been that way? He doesn't know. There are too many question, and too little answers, he thinks, which he's been running from as he's traveled world to world, and he hates himself again for allowing himself to confront it all when it could have easily been prevented.
"It's not that. It sounded just like you unfortunately."
"How so?" Fai inquires, thinking he just needs to stop, stop it now, as he knows he's going to push this further than he has to when he can end it swiftly and shove this incident in the back of his mind along with the countless other dreadful memories he has.
"What do you mean? You of all people should know... It was just a little bit too happy-go-lucky and little bit too carefree, just like you. That's how."
Fai doesn't think Kurogane could be further from the truth, but he says nothing, because that's how it always has been, how it is now, and how it always will be.