Nothing More Than Feelings (Hikaru no Go, Shindou Hikaru and Touya Akira, #24)
Title: Nothing More Than Feelings
Author: Sanalith
Pairing: Shindou Hikaru and Touya Akira
Fandom: Hikaru no Go
Theme: #24 (Good night)
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, I just like to play with them. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! ^__^
Shindou Hikaru did not consider himself an overly emotional person.
Well, all right, maybe he *did* take some of his shouting matches with Touya a bit too far, but really, what else were eternal rivals good for?
Other than snogging senseless, of course.
The point is, other than his verbal sparring matches and the inevitable frustration that followed, Hikaru really did not open himself up to heavy emotions. He saw it as an unnecessary waste of time, not to mention overly girly. Before his connection with the Go world, he’d never cared about anyone or anything deeply enough to even really produce true emotions.
But then a Heian ghost entered his life and turned everything upside down, and even after ten years, Hikaru still sometimes had trouble remembering which way was up.
Hikaru cared for Touya. A lot. Touya was his best friend, his lover, and his rival. He pushed Hikaru to places he’d never known existed. But every time Hikaru paused to thank the Powers That Be for bringing Touya into his life, his blood turned to ice and he started shivering like a lost child.
After all, there would be no Touya Akira without Fujiwara no Sai.
And that hurt in a way Hikaru could never have imagined.
Touya was his rock now, there was no doubt about that. Touya kept him focused, kept him going, kept him caring. But Sai had come first. Sai had shown Hikaru what it was like to love so deeply and so passionately that it defied even death itself. He had radiated trueness and pureness of heart, and he demonstrated a selflessness that left Hikaru humbled to the depths of his soul. Sai was the embodiment of joy, of childish delight in simple pleasures. In a bitterly ironic twist of fate, Hikaru had found himself face to face with a one-thousand-year-old ghost who was more alive than he had ever been.
But he’d been too narrow-minded to notice it until it was too late. And then Sai was gone.
Shindou Hikaru did not consider himself an overly emotional person. But every now and then, when he lay on his futon with his life-mate wrapped around him, Hikaru would look out at the night sky and allow raw regret to consume him, knowing that he’d allowed the absolute essence of goodness to slip through his life without proper appreciation.
Knowing that Sai forgave him, didn’t blame him in the slightest, was proud of him, made it even more painful.
And on those nights, Akira would hold his rival close, place a chaste kiss on his damp cheek, and gently whisper, “I hope you dream well of him.”
Hikaru never responded, but he squeezed Akira’s hand and closed his eyes, willing the familiar shadow of his mentor to guide him through Morpheus’ tangled web.
“Good night, Shindou.”
“Good night, Touya.”
Good night…Sai. I hope you dream well, too…
~Owari~
Author: Sanalith
Pairing: Shindou Hikaru and Touya Akira
Fandom: Hikaru no Go
Theme: #24 (Good night)
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, I just like to play with them. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! ^__^
Shindou Hikaru did not consider himself an overly emotional person.
Well, all right, maybe he *did* take some of his shouting matches with Touya a bit too far, but really, what else were eternal rivals good for?
Other than snogging senseless, of course.
The point is, other than his verbal sparring matches and the inevitable frustration that followed, Hikaru really did not open himself up to heavy emotions. He saw it as an unnecessary waste of time, not to mention overly girly. Before his connection with the Go world, he’d never cared about anyone or anything deeply enough to even really produce true emotions.
But then a Heian ghost entered his life and turned everything upside down, and even after ten years, Hikaru still sometimes had trouble remembering which way was up.
Hikaru cared for Touya. A lot. Touya was his best friend, his lover, and his rival. He pushed Hikaru to places he’d never known existed. But every time Hikaru paused to thank the Powers That Be for bringing Touya into his life, his blood turned to ice and he started shivering like a lost child.
After all, there would be no Touya Akira without Fujiwara no Sai.
And that hurt in a way Hikaru could never have imagined.
Touya was his rock now, there was no doubt about that. Touya kept him focused, kept him going, kept him caring. But Sai had come first. Sai had shown Hikaru what it was like to love so deeply and so passionately that it defied even death itself. He had radiated trueness and pureness of heart, and he demonstrated a selflessness that left Hikaru humbled to the depths of his soul. Sai was the embodiment of joy, of childish delight in simple pleasures. In a bitterly ironic twist of fate, Hikaru had found himself face to face with a one-thousand-year-old ghost who was more alive than he had ever been.
But he’d been too narrow-minded to notice it until it was too late. And then Sai was gone.
Shindou Hikaru did not consider himself an overly emotional person. But every now and then, when he lay on his futon with his life-mate wrapped around him, Hikaru would look out at the night sky and allow raw regret to consume him, knowing that he’d allowed the absolute essence of goodness to slip through his life without proper appreciation.
Knowing that Sai forgave him, didn’t blame him in the slightest, was proud of him, made it even more painful.
And on those nights, Akira would hold his rival close, place a chaste kiss on his damp cheek, and gently whisper, “I hope you dream well of him.”
Hikaru never responded, but he squeezed Akira’s hand and closed his eyes, willing the familiar shadow of his mentor to guide him through Morpheus’ tangled web.
“Good night, Shindou.”
“Good night, Touya.”
Good night…Sai. I hope you dream well, too…
~Owari~