These things always hit me at the worst times....
I am sorry I wasn't there when you left. I really wanted to be there. You always knew I didn't do well with hospitals, and needles, and watching people in pain. I really wish now that I would've just sucked it up and went. Trust me; I can't live with myself knowing that you were there alone. You probably opened your eyes and looked around and saw no one. I can't imagine how you felt. I think I didn't go because a part of me was in denial. I kept assuring myself that you were going to pull through, since this had happened numerous times before and you always came out 100% better. I was going to go the next day, I swear. You just didn't fight like you did all those times before. I guess you couldn't, you weren't strong enough. The past fights had taken a lot out of you. Trust me when I say, I'm not mad that you didn't. I'm just so sorry that I didn't say goodbye, and smell your Old Spice aftershave for the last time, and have your beard tickle my face when you kissed my cheek and told me you loved me. I think about that day every day of my life. It has been 369 days now. Just know that I am sorry. I never wanted you to be alone; I hope you were greeted by past friends and family. I hope you like where you’re at. I bet it’s a nice place.
I’m sorry, and I love you always.