(no subject)
It was only today that I realized how selfish I am. I was such an arrogant kid growing up. I can't even begin to count how many times I have taken my family for granted, more so my parents than anything. My parents have always done everything and anything for me, above and beyond anything I could have ever deserved. They would lay down their life for me, no questions asked. Only now, 21 years later, do I realize just how lucky I am to have that. How lucky I am to have them in my life, and for myself. My parents truly are the loves of my life; I don't know how I ever thought I could survive without them.
Today we had a memorial service for a woman who was big in the entertainment world. (That's why we were involved) I couldn't bare the thought of having to look her 9 year old son, Jackson, in the eyes. For I was so ashamed of myself for taking my parents for granted. Here he is standing in a room with hundreds of strangers and all he can think about is how he will never see his mother again. He's going to graduate, get married, and have kids some day and his mother will not be here to witness that. I had that, I had my parents there. I couldn't imagine having that void in my life. It was so devastating; I had to leave and cried the whole way home. I couldn't imagine waking up everyday knowing that my mother wasn't going to be there. I don't know what I would do if something ever happened to my parents. I don't think I would know how to live without them. How selfish am I.