regrets vs writing / writing for yourself vs others
Well, I came on LJ today to delete my previous post. There were things I wrote that hurt him and I wanted to get rid of it. I want to get rid of his hurt and what I said to cause that hurt. And sometimes, "I'm sorry" isn't enough.
But I found, while I don't love it anymore, I'm struggling; I don't want to erase it either. I believe in self expression, even if it comes out all mangled and backwards at 3am. So, I'm curious as a beginner here... Have any of you ever posted anything that you wanted to undo? Have you said anything that bit you in the ass? How did you fix it? Did you publicly apologize, knowing that that one person would read it? Did you ever delete your journal altogether? Do you edit yourself as you write? Do you laugh at yourself or are you horrified when you realize what you meant to write, isn't what came out? Do you take the time to try to clarify or just say, "fuck it"? Do you embellish the things you write about? Do you see your journal as a way to empty your soul or a place to publish your creative writings? Or just a means to keep in touch with friends? Do you believe everything you read in other's posts? Did you all start out loving your own writings and thinking, "others would love to read what I have to say"?
I did, sure. I say it all the time, "I think I'm hysterical!". But not when I hurt people I love. Not when my brain is on "flying with no pilot" mode- which seems to be happening a lot. Maybe I've formed all these new critical thinking skills for nursing school and my plain-ole-regular don't-make-an-ass of yourself neural capacity has gone caput...kapoot...whatever.
But I found, while I don't love it anymore, I'm struggling; I don't want to erase it either. I believe in self expression, even if it comes out all mangled and backwards at 3am. So, I'm curious as a beginner here... Have any of you ever posted anything that you wanted to undo? Have you said anything that bit you in the ass? How did you fix it? Did you publicly apologize, knowing that that one person would read it? Did you ever delete your journal altogether? Do you edit yourself as you write? Do you laugh at yourself or are you horrified when you realize what you meant to write, isn't what came out? Do you take the time to try to clarify or just say, "fuck it"? Do you embellish the things you write about? Do you see your journal as a way to empty your soul or a place to publish your creative writings? Or just a means to keep in touch with friends? Do you believe everything you read in other's posts? Did you all start out loving your own writings and thinking, "others would love to read what I have to say"?
I did, sure. I say it all the time, "I think I'm hysterical!". But not when I hurt people I love. Not when my brain is on "flying with no pilot" mode- which seems to be happening a lot. Maybe I've formed all these new critical thinking skills for nursing school and my plain-ole-regular don't-make-an-ass of yourself neural capacity has gone caput...kapoot...whatever.