Grief, day two

[2redpath5]

Today was my day off.  It didn't go so well.  I basically cried all day while pretending to be a functioning member of society.

I went to the hospital to see my IUFD mom

Comments

[monetgypsy]

I know it's sad but I love your stories so much, they're so full of humanity. Sometimes sadness is beautiful. How wonderful that we have the capacity to feel so deeply. Men too!

I've been struggling a lot lately with the idea that men are cold, heartless versions of human beings. It's a stupid idea that comes from a minority of experiences. I need to remember to empathize with them too.

[2redpath5]

Dearest Monet,
Thank you so much for saying so.
I try to make them worth the time it takes to read them. ; )
I love things in the world that really make us F E E L.
Ya know what I mean?
I hate to hear that you are struggling at all.
And I wish lesbian love affairs were easier to obtain.
Heehee

[anabatos]

Men are wired differently. Some men are cold, heartless versions, but basically I have recently begun to understand that a lot of our "emotionless" bad press comes from vulnerabilities about our feelings and an inability to be honest. So if you understand how stupid us boys are and how vulnerable we are (when there is so much societal pressure to be strong and "man-like"), I think you'll start to get the picture.

On the other hand, some men are cold and heartless. Don't let frequent examples of fuckery tarnish your opinion of the species.

On the other other hand, (yes I have three), I encourage you to be in bed with as many women as possible.

[monetgypsy]

Did you know that testosterone in the womb actually shrinks the areas of a male child's brain that deal with communication and empathy? It's not that you don't feel things. It's that your brains have less neurons devoted to expressing those feelings and reading the feelings of others. You can't help it, it's biological.

But women are biologically crazy and many of us manage to rise above that, so I don't doubt that men can rise above their biology too.

Along the same lines, women have half the neurons in our brains that men have devoted to sex, and men have 10-100 times as much testosterone, and yet a great many of us still manage to be just as sexual as men are.

I have faith that we are more than our brains.

[anabatos]

I believe that. But I also believe that much of medical science and science in general is missing the point, and I have all kinds of other scientific beliefs about genetics and human potential and all kinds of stuff.

Much of what we know about biology and brain science is really in its infancy. We are amateurs messing with things we do not yet understand. That's not so much criticism as it is interpretation.

Sex is a whole other discussion I can never have with you. :-)