(no subject)
.jake.
I honestly dont think I exist on this thing anymore.
Last weekend I went to Dearborn to celebrate Lydias birthday. It was good times. I love being with Floyd and Lesley and just rocking out the night. Its always good times and great memories. Josh and I also went and saw Charlie and the Chocholate Factory. That wasnt bad. I dont even care, Depp looks so fucking scary in that movie. It was nice to hang out with him. I'm sure he hates me because I spend all our money but i'm working on the whole second job thing so he can just have my paychecks and I can just live on what side money I make. Its only fair and I want him to be stable. Other than that, I worked and pissed around doing something or other. I havent really seen Tom in like four days and really, I wouldnt go over there if I didnt have to do laundry. Lately I just feel like ive wanted to just be home.
Ive come to realize that all the great people I use to hang out with in high school, have just become losers in their lives. But the thing is is theyre really awesome and I miss being around them. It just sucks that they are doing nothing with their lives and have had nothing accomplished whatsoever. Its kinda sad. And I almost feel just as guilty because here I am doing nothing better but surviving, which I realize is life but not in the right ways. I'm not going to school either, I at least have a job but nothing great or anything thats letting me get anywhere, I live on my own because i'm forced to but I also am dependent on someone else... its just pathetic. I mean I get my shit done but getting my shit done is just paying my bills. Thats not doing anything for me. And yeah, I want to go back to school but I cant do that since I have to revolve my life around work and even if I do ever go back, what the fuck am I going to do now? I'm almost 20 and have nothing accomplished. And the worst of it is that it sounds like i'm just not getting off my ass but everything is not allowing me to grow towards something, so its not entirely my fault... which at moment, I wish it was so that I can just say, hey its me being lazy but I can go back to school and I can make something out of my life. But I dont get to say that. And it just makes me feel so shitty.
Anyway, i'm off in hopes of something really great will happen today. But the chances of that are probably slim and the greatest thing thatll happen to me is that ill actually get to see Tom today and really, in all honesty, I dont even want to see him.
I honestly dont think I exist on this thing anymore.
Last weekend I went to Dearborn to celebrate Lydias birthday. It was good times. I love being with Floyd and Lesley and just rocking out the night. Its always good times and great memories. Josh and I also went and saw Charlie and the Chocholate Factory. That wasnt bad. I dont even care, Depp looks so fucking scary in that movie. It was nice to hang out with him. I'm sure he hates me because I spend all our money but i'm working on the whole second job thing so he can just have my paychecks and I can just live on what side money I make. Its only fair and I want him to be stable. Other than that, I worked and pissed around doing something or other. I havent really seen Tom in like four days and really, I wouldnt go over there if I didnt have to do laundry. Lately I just feel like ive wanted to just be home.
Ive come to realize that all the great people I use to hang out with in high school, have just become losers in their lives. But the thing is is theyre really awesome and I miss being around them. It just sucks that they are doing nothing with their lives and have had nothing accomplished whatsoever. Its kinda sad. And I almost feel just as guilty because here I am doing nothing better but surviving, which I realize is life but not in the right ways. I'm not going to school either, I at least have a job but nothing great or anything thats letting me get anywhere, I live on my own because i'm forced to but I also am dependent on someone else... its just pathetic. I mean I get my shit done but getting my shit done is just paying my bills. Thats not doing anything for me. And yeah, I want to go back to school but I cant do that since I have to revolve my life around work and even if I do ever go back, what the fuck am I going to do now? I'm almost 20 and have nothing accomplished. And the worst of it is that it sounds like i'm just not getting off my ass but everything is not allowing me to grow towards something, so its not entirely my fault... which at moment, I wish it was so that I can just say, hey its me being lazy but I can go back to school and I can make something out of my life. But I dont get to say that. And it just makes me feel so shitty.
Anyway, i'm off in hopes of something really great will happen today. But the chances of that are probably slim and the greatest thing thatll happen to me is that ill actually get to see Tom today and really, in all honesty, I dont even want to see him.