Been a LONG time.........
So, it definitely has been a while since I've updated this thing. I confess I know I have been bad at this, and need to be better...but honestly, does anyone really read this, lol? Well either way, its still nice to have a place to get all this stuff out at some point. I'm on spring break this week, so just the time off has been worth it. I'm busy like non other in architecture. I hardly have any free time. But its great. Time flies by, but I am not sure I am that fond of that aspect of all this. I mean this is college, this is is...and welll its gonna be over before i can even blink I fear. I mean, high school...wow, seems like it was just yesterday, yes yesterday that I was in there.... w/all my best friends, having the time of my life...and a blink later, im here.... living my life, pursuing my dream...but what for...so that this thing we call college can be over with? Is that what I really want? I'm loving life right now... Don't get me wrong there are times when i miss the way it use to be...all the things w/ the best friends I could ask for, the friends I left behind in high school, that is what hurts when i think..and well 'thinking' just is not good for me, haha. All I really want is to know that I have lived a full life, that I have lived it to the fullest...but what i fear is that I get so caught up in the every day life things that I have to do, that I am missign out on something....something great...... It's like this thing that I read some where..... what do you do when you just give up tryin to find the one you're lookign for..... you spend way to much time wasting time on all the wrong people that when the right one comes along... you are too woron out to even try and 'the one' just passes by, just like that...and the moment, the one chance u had, is all gone..... in just an instant..... that REALLY scares me. Sometimes, I thin that I just need to step back and look at life from the outsider and not where i'm at...bc what if i am missing out on something? I spend so much time doing the things that I "have" to do...that hte things I want to do, well, they never happen...and what if b/c of this my chance to find the one is gone...forever? Scary thought I know.... I mean, this is the time, my prime...... but there is only one person I still have found...and I have no idea how he feels..... if its even close to how i feel. So, i set back and do nothing, as usual..... and i know from past exeprience, that one day, i'm going to wake up, and that chance to be w/ this person will be gone.
In the past couple of weeks I have also learned that for somethings...to keep it together you have to let it go....and maybe this is what i need to do with someone I care deeply about....b/c trying to stay friends and make this thing work just isnt working for me. Maybe is best just to remember what once was..and be happy for that b/c God did bless me with that time..and I was in that time for a reason I believe...but now that part of my life is over...sometimes, I just think you have to more on...get on with you life...b/c if u don't, it'll leave you anyway. So, i'm off... on this ride I call life... There will be curves, calm roads..and who know what ahead...but what i want ot know most of all, is that in the end.... it'll all add up, it'll all be worth while and everythign I have worked so hard for with pay off! I'll be with someone I love, living where I wnat to..with a family..and the job of my dreams that I love. I know the road is not going to be smooth or easy by any means....anything worth keeping never is.
Welp, that's about all I have to say for tonight.... I"m going to try to be better with this thing...but no promises...... i have practically sold my soul to the studio! lol....talk to whoever is reading this later.... or if no one is reading this... it still felt good to get it out! bye bye.
In the past couple of weeks I have also learned that for somethings...to keep it together you have to let it go....and maybe this is what i need to do with someone I care deeply about....b/c trying to stay friends and make this thing work just isnt working for me. Maybe is best just to remember what once was..and be happy for that b/c God did bless me with that time..and I was in that time for a reason I believe...but now that part of my life is over...sometimes, I just think you have to more on...get on with you life...b/c if u don't, it'll leave you anyway. So, i'm off... on this ride I call life... There will be curves, calm roads..and who know what ahead...but what i want ot know most of all, is that in the end.... it'll all add up, it'll all be worth while and everythign I have worked so hard for with pay off! I'll be with someone I love, living where I wnat to..with a family..and the job of my dreams that I love. I know the road is not going to be smooth or easy by any means....anything worth keeping never is.
Welp, that's about all I have to say for tonight.... I"m going to try to be better with this thing...but no promises...... i have practically sold my soul to the studio! lol....talk to whoever is reading this later.... or if no one is reading this... it still felt good to get it out! bye bye.