(no subject)
i know that i get myself into these perdicaments but....fuck.
i just want to be that girl that somebody can't live without, feels not quite whole w/o, insert more mushy stuff here etc etc. i want to feel that way again.
meh, i'm tired and cranky and probably shouldnt even be writing an entry right now. we found a cute apartment, i'm disappointed about nothing really. i'm just going to go to bed.
don't say it if you don't mean it.
the other day i went with will to watch that movie with that name i can never remember. but it has kirsten dunst in it &jim carey. it has to do with erasing people out of your life? you know the movie. i want to hate it because it has the broken relationship happen just the way it would in real life, then suddenly everything ends nicely. that's when i remember i cant really hate it for that, its just a movie.
but there's a scene in the movie where the girl says something like i'm just a spaztic girl that freaks out about nothing and everything all at once. somedays i'm okay and others i'm a fucking bitch &that's pretty much all i can offer you.
and jim carey lifts his hands up and shrugs with this little smile on his lips and love hope in his eyes and he says okay. that's all. ok.
anyway, i'm sure i wasn't the first or last girl that cried/will cry at that part. and i know i'm not the only one that feels that way. but how many times have i said that to somebody? how many times have i pointed out all my flaws and imperfections and repeated over and over how i'm just a girl, nothing special or out of the norm. and how many times have people said okay?
the part that hurts the most is how many times it hasn't been ok. in the end its never okay. and i guess stormy is right, there's different sides to me. i know i'm a cunt, i'm well aware of my flaws. i'm telling you right now that i'm hell on earth as a girlfriend and even as a friend. so if you want to go ahead and back out right here, right now..do it. i won't be upset, i won't be mad at you.
this is your chance, run like the wind.
i just want to be that girl that somebody can't live without, feels not quite whole w/o, insert more mushy stuff here etc etc. i want to feel that way again.
meh, i'm tired and cranky and probably shouldnt even be writing an entry right now. we found a cute apartment, i'm disappointed about nothing really. i'm just going to go to bed.
don't say it if you don't mean it.
the other day i went with will to watch that movie with that name i can never remember. but it has kirsten dunst in it &jim carey. it has to do with erasing people out of your life? you know the movie. i want to hate it because it has the broken relationship happen just the way it would in real life, then suddenly everything ends nicely. that's when i remember i cant really hate it for that, its just a movie.
but there's a scene in the movie where the girl says something like i'm just a spaztic girl that freaks out about nothing and everything all at once. somedays i'm okay and others i'm a fucking bitch &that's pretty much all i can offer you.
and jim carey lifts his hands up and shrugs with this little smile on his lips and love hope in his eyes and he says okay. that's all. ok.
anyway, i'm sure i wasn't the first or last girl that cried/will cry at that part. and i know i'm not the only one that feels that way. but how many times have i said that to somebody? how many times have i pointed out all my flaws and imperfections and repeated over and over how i'm just a girl, nothing special or out of the norm. and how many times have people said okay?
the part that hurts the most is how many times it hasn't been ok. in the end its never okay. and i guess stormy is right, there's different sides to me. i know i'm a cunt, i'm well aware of my flaws. i'm telling you right now that i'm hell on earth as a girlfriend and even as a friend. so if you want to go ahead and back out right here, right now..do it. i won't be upset, i won't be mad at you.
this is your chance, run like the wind.