Ode to my parents
A few things I'm going to miss:
1) My mum laughing hysterically at my dad when he does something silly;
2) The look of confusion on my dad's face when he doesn't get what's being said, and the goofy smile that appears when realisation finally hits; and
3) Believe it or not, their endless bickering.
I've always tried my best to play the role of the daughter well. Heck, I'm Asian - I've tried my best to play every single role well. The thing is, my parents are Chinese - meaning "well" is never good enough. So, it really surprises me that we are where we are today.
My parents are about as protective and strict as any other Asian parent out there. You've got a Tiger Mum? Mine's a Dragon Mum. My dad's sweet, but his frown lines have deepened considerably since I've stripped myself of the baby fat, blossomed into a decent-looking life form, and gotten myself into all sorts of trouble and heartaches along the way.
Our relationship is relatively transparent - I try to keep things from them, but eventually end up blabbing almost everything because I've learnt to respect their opinions and perspectives over the years. I've come to understand that they have my best interests at heart and whatever responses they provide is to my benefit.
I must say I have really tested their patience with the choices I've made in life, jumping into the deep end numerous times and getting burnt a little too often, much to their chagrin. They saw me suffer through my emotional adolescence and unhappy early adulthood, trying to sort myself out and figure out how my wings work and which way I should fly. I admit I've crashed into a few walls and tumbled off a few cliffs, which only served to increase their worry and attempt to clip my wings more fervently.
The last few years, however, have been different for me. I consciously managed myself and my ego, got my act together and for the first time, recognised the kind of life I want to lead, and have been (and am still) working towards it. For a long time, I was running away from who I was supposed to be - hiding inside an empty shell of clubbing, boyfriends, aimless socialising, frivolity, and flying everywhere to find myself when 'myself' is exactly where it's supposed to be.
Conversations with my parents have changed considerably with my new-found awareness. I'm present to who they are and present to what I'm blessed with. I take pride in everything I do and all that makes me me.
I think my parents have realised that I was trying too hard to fit into the mould they expected me to fill and while I was technically functional and relatively proud and happy of what I've achieved considering my age, I wasn't truly passionate nor excited about my life or the situations around me. There are some really awesome people and great achievements and possibilities to look forward to in my life, but I think my dad and mum always knew that I was capable of something even bigger for myself.
Over dinner, my mum told me, "Don't settle for less anymore. It's OK to stay single if you can't find someone suitable, but don't ever put yourself in a situation where you're taking on a burden or are limiting yourself. You're able to sustain and take care of yourself anyway. Your dad and I know this now and we are comforted by that. So, don't settle."
I've played the role of daddy and mummy's little girl for years and they've always abhorred the idea of me ever leaving their side... So, you have to understand how much my heart swelled with love for them when they not only approved, but supported my decision to leave this place and seek better opportunities elsewhere. My dad told me to do what makes me happy because my happiness is the most important thing to him.
"If you've got a goal in sight, everything else doesn't matter anymore. I'm going to support you in every way so that you can achieve it. Do what you need to do, quit your job if you must, you've got a different road to take now. Maybe this is the change you need to find what you are looking for."
I kept quiet for a really long time, assessing and absorbing whatever was being said to me. Finally, I broke into a teary smile and told my parents that I really love them and that they really are the best parents in the world.
My dad told me, "If you had brought this up a few years ago, we wouldn't have thought you are ready. But, we think you are now. You've been making us proud - being responsible and excelling at what you're doing so for our beautiful daughter's happiness, nothing is ever too much. 我们连天上的月亮都会摘下来给你。"
He is right. A few years back, I probably wouldn't have the clarity and discipline to keep myself out of trouble. I would probably have messed things up and eventually returned with my tail between my legs. I would have been running away.
This time, I'm moving towards. So, yes, a new life with a whole load of possibilities - new friends, new knowledge, new experiences, more heartbreaks, more apprehension, more confusion and more lessons.
But hey, I've had my heart and soul torn apart before and survived through that, so it's not like it's anything I can't handle. It's been a long time coming, but if it takes more than a few bumps along the road to become (I quote a friend) "well put-together", it was worth the pain.
I haven't been this excited about the possibilities in my life in a while and will never forget the love, faith and trust my parents have in me.
The best way to repay them is by living my life to the fullest and taking each step forward powerfully so they can be proud of who I am, and that's exactly what I intend to do.
1) My mum laughing hysterically at my dad when he does something silly;
2) The look of confusion on my dad's face when he doesn't get what's being said, and the goofy smile that appears when realisation finally hits; and
3) Believe it or not, their endless bickering.
I've always tried my best to play the role of the daughter well. Heck, I'm Asian - I've tried my best to play every single role well. The thing is, my parents are Chinese - meaning "well" is never good enough. So, it really surprises me that we are where we are today.
My parents are about as protective and strict as any other Asian parent out there. You've got a Tiger Mum? Mine's a Dragon Mum. My dad's sweet, but his frown lines have deepened considerably since I've stripped myself of the baby fat, blossomed into a decent-looking life form, and gotten myself into all sorts of trouble and heartaches along the way.
Our relationship is relatively transparent - I try to keep things from them, but eventually end up blabbing almost everything because I've learnt to respect their opinions and perspectives over the years. I've come to understand that they have my best interests at heart and whatever responses they provide is to my benefit.
I must say I have really tested their patience with the choices I've made in life, jumping into the deep end numerous times and getting burnt a little too often, much to their chagrin. They saw me suffer through my emotional adolescence and unhappy early adulthood, trying to sort myself out and figure out how my wings work and which way I should fly. I admit I've crashed into a few walls and tumbled off a few cliffs, which only served to increase their worry and attempt to clip my wings more fervently.
The last few years, however, have been different for me. I consciously managed myself and my ego, got my act together and for the first time, recognised the kind of life I want to lead, and have been (and am still) working towards it. For a long time, I was running away from who I was supposed to be - hiding inside an empty shell of clubbing, boyfriends, aimless socialising, frivolity, and flying everywhere to find myself when 'myself' is exactly where it's supposed to be.
Conversations with my parents have changed considerably with my new-found awareness. I'm present to who they are and present to what I'm blessed with. I take pride in everything I do and all that makes me me.
I think my parents have realised that I was trying too hard to fit into the mould they expected me to fill and while I was technically functional and relatively proud and happy of what I've achieved considering my age, I wasn't truly passionate nor excited about my life or the situations around me. There are some really awesome people and great achievements and possibilities to look forward to in my life, but I think my dad and mum always knew that I was capable of something even bigger for myself.
Over dinner, my mum told me, "Don't settle for less anymore. It's OK to stay single if you can't find someone suitable, but don't ever put yourself in a situation where you're taking on a burden or are limiting yourself. You're able to sustain and take care of yourself anyway. Your dad and I know this now and we are comforted by that. So, don't settle."
I've played the role of daddy and mummy's little girl for years and they've always abhorred the idea of me ever leaving their side... So, you have to understand how much my heart swelled with love for them when they not only approved, but supported my decision to leave this place and seek better opportunities elsewhere. My dad told me to do what makes me happy because my happiness is the most important thing to him.
"If you've got a goal in sight, everything else doesn't matter anymore. I'm going to support you in every way so that you can achieve it. Do what you need to do, quit your job if you must, you've got a different road to take now. Maybe this is the change you need to find what you are looking for."
I kept quiet for a really long time, assessing and absorbing whatever was being said to me. Finally, I broke into a teary smile and told my parents that I really love them and that they really are the best parents in the world.
My dad told me, "If you had brought this up a few years ago, we wouldn't have thought you are ready. But, we think you are now. You've been making us proud - being responsible and excelling at what you're doing so for our beautiful daughter's happiness, nothing is ever too much. 我们连天上的月亮都会摘下来给你。"
He is right. A few years back, I probably wouldn't have the clarity and discipline to keep myself out of trouble. I would probably have messed things up and eventually returned with my tail between my legs. I would have been running away.
This time, I'm moving towards. So, yes, a new life with a whole load of possibilities - new friends, new knowledge, new experiences, more heartbreaks, more apprehension, more confusion and more lessons.
But hey, I've had my heart and soul torn apart before and survived through that, so it's not like it's anything I can't handle. It's been a long time coming, but if it takes more than a few bumps along the road to become (I quote a friend) "well put-together", it was worth the pain.
I haven't been this excited about the possibilities in my life in a while and will never forget the love, faith and trust my parents have in me.
The best way to repay them is by living my life to the fullest and taking each step forward powerfully so they can be proud of who I am, and that's exactly what I intend to do.