Busy and Happy
I've worked hard over the last two days. And the productivity feels GOOD. I am finding that I am a lot happier when I am very productive in a day, and then I don't have to feel frustrated for being behind or guilty for doing something just for me. I think recently I've been taking a lot of breaks, telling myself it's important to keep my sanity and relax, but really those breaks are just stressing me out more by getting me off track and behind on my work.
Like, cake balls were fun to make this weekend (actually they were a frustrating, but delicious, mess) but they took up like, my whole Saturday before the UFC event with friends at Constantine's house, which I didn't expect. I decided not to worry about it because it was worth my time and I should get to do something fun and bake before hanging out with friends, but then I got really upset and stressed while making them, not because they were really that hard, but because I felt that if they didn't turn out, I'd have nothing to show for my day, and I was also subconsciously upset and frustrated with myself for putting off my reading and adding that much more work onto my Sunday. (In the end, they did turn out, and they were a big hit with my friends.)
So Sunday and Monday I kept really on task and have managed to get a lot done. Even though there were things I'd much rather have been doing than homework on the Reformation and Henry VIII, I found I was so much happier knowing that it was getting done and I wasn't going to be behind anymore! It felt better to be stress-free and proud of myself getting through homework than to procrastinate with things I really enjoy. I'm gonna try to keep really productive during my daytime hours so I can actually ENJOY the time I have off when I'm done. Like today, I worked hard and finished that weighty tome on Henry an hour before class, so with my free time before class started I enjoyed a candy bar and chatted with Phil in the cubicles. Same was true after class. I got the quiz for this week made up and THEN watched TV and made delicious food and relaxed and updated my LJ, and I'm on cloud nine.
I know this may seem really "DUH, Amy" and it's not even new news in my life, but I just needed to write about how GOOD I feel. It really is amazing to SEE that taking lots of breaks to do the things I enjoy doing doesn't make me as happy as working hard, being satisfied with my productivity, knowing I'm all caught up, and then doing whatever I want. Not really a revelation, but hey, I am so happy today.
Like, cake balls were fun to make this weekend (actually they were a frustrating, but delicious, mess) but they took up like, my whole Saturday before the UFC event with friends at Constantine's house, which I didn't expect. I decided not to worry about it because it was worth my time and I should get to do something fun and bake before hanging out with friends, but then I got really upset and stressed while making them, not because they were really that hard, but because I felt that if they didn't turn out, I'd have nothing to show for my day, and I was also subconsciously upset and frustrated with myself for putting off my reading and adding that much more work onto my Sunday. (In the end, they did turn out, and they were a big hit with my friends.)
So Sunday and Monday I kept really on task and have managed to get a lot done. Even though there were things I'd much rather have been doing than homework on the Reformation and Henry VIII, I found I was so much happier knowing that it was getting done and I wasn't going to be behind anymore! It felt better to be stress-free and proud of myself getting through homework than to procrastinate with things I really enjoy. I'm gonna try to keep really productive during my daytime hours so I can actually ENJOY the time I have off when I'm done. Like today, I worked hard and finished that weighty tome on Henry an hour before class, so with my free time before class started I enjoyed a candy bar and chatted with Phil in the cubicles. Same was true after class. I got the quiz for this week made up and THEN watched TV and made delicious food and relaxed and updated my LJ, and I'm on cloud nine.
I know this may seem really "DUH, Amy" and it's not even new news in my life, but I just needed to write about how GOOD I feel. It really is amazing to SEE that taking lots of breaks to do the things I enjoy doing doesn't make me as happy as working hard, being satisfied with my productivity, knowing I'm all caught up, and then doing whatever I want. Not really a revelation, but hey, I am so happy today.