Late Last Semester -isms
So we're well into second semester, but as I was unpacking I came across my notebooks from last semester and remembered that there's a whole bunch of professor-isms that didn't get recorded!!! Here, for your (and mostly my) enjoyment, are some of the more humorous things said in class toward the end of last semester.
Damien Smith - Studies in Medieval History
"It's written in a way an academic can write, in which a pope can't, because a pope actually has to DO things, where an academic doesn't."
"Appealing to the pope's court just doesn't happen. When someone steals another man's... goat in the North of England, the other man's not gonna say, "Riiight, I'm going to the Pope."
Re: Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas Beckett's murder by the knights of Henry II - 'He was a saint of the church, but really disliked as a man. The monks at Canterbury couldn't stand the sight of him! And when they saw the knights coming they scurried away and didn't defend him. And then later they were all "Oh, No... the Archbishop has died....'"
"Many like to think Pope Innocent III was not SO cynical where human lives and souls are concerned... I personally think he was."
Dr. Smith: "And how did the Albigensian crusade go? Successful?"
Andrew: "Well? I don't know. It's hard to say. It went on and on and on..."
Dr. Smith: "But most who were killed were actually NOT heretics!"
Andrew: "Philip doesn't want to be married to this Danish Princess."
Dr. Smith: "Why?"
Andrew: "I don't know. There's lots of stories... many of them inappropriate."
Dr. Smith: "They get married and like the NEXT DAY the marriage is rejected. Something bad happened on the wedding day and he NEVER wants to see her again!"
"Philip II never helps the papacy. But he never helps anybody. Ever. ...Except himself."
"Some would argue that the one person who helped make the most success for the French Capetian monarchy is actually.... England's King John."
"In a book on Frederick, when Gregory IX appears you're supposed to boo and hiss!"
"The study of the 14th century hasn't been very popular recently but I fancy it'll make a comeback - all that doom and gloom - it's really the theme for our time!"
"My impression is that people in the Middle Ages are overwhelmingly called John."
"Medieval universities aren't really great for spreading new ideas, on the whole."
"So they were just bad? What about them being Protestant? Oh, or are you equating that with being bad?"
"It was Charles VI that was totally insane. He thought he was a pane of glass and he wouldn't go anywhere cause someone could bump into him and he's crack... He WAS cracked!"
------------------------------------------------
Dr. Gavitt - Theory and Practice of History
On theory books: "I am surprised by works like Lyotard that propose solutions. Really the ones that just complain are much better."
Matt: "He basically argues that Structuralism... there's like a structure to it. wait..."
Matt: "I looked at the picture of the author before I read the book, and decided already that I really didn't like him."
Re: mental hospitals - "In the 1960s it was far too easy to commit people who you simply disliked or who got in the way of your designs."
"It's sort of like comparisons between Macs and IBMs, where Macs are like Catholicism - it's all there for you, and IBM is like Protestantism - with a plethora of choices!"
-------------------------------------------------------
Professor Marler - Intro to Latin Paleography
"Ah Gothic Cursive. It's everybody's favorite hand... to hate."
Re: The Latin word for Pope, Papae - "As it says in the book of Genesis, I am what I am, and I am Popeye the Sailor Man!"
"The contemporary science of textbook criticism is based on a work that everyone hates."
"If Manuscript A got vaporized... by a bomb... you'd never know of Archetype [A]."
"This manuscript no longer exists. Some American bought it, chopped it up, and sent it to his kids as Christmas cards."
"In other words, what we don't want is incest. Nooo mixed texts. Manuscript B would go in the trashcan."
Student: "So, if someone publishes a critical text, and a new manuscript is found that refutes it, what then?"
Dr. Marler: "I imagine then would come suicide, or homicide."
"The ivory tower is full of felons."
"You need to have the attitude of a rather cynical mercenary when you enter into the world of academia. The battle isn't over after you defend your dissertation. It's over after you WIN tenure."
_______________________________________________
Preserving quotes from class helps ensure that I look back on all my classes fondly by selectively remembering mostly only good stuff!
Although, looking back at all the tagged -isms, none will ever top Miller-isms. What a humorous man.
Damien Smith - Studies in Medieval History
"It's written in a way an academic can write, in which a pope can't, because a pope actually has to DO things, where an academic doesn't."
"Appealing to the pope's court just doesn't happen. When someone steals another man's... goat in the North of England, the other man's not gonna say, "Riiight, I'm going to the Pope."
Re: Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas Beckett's murder by the knights of Henry II - 'He was a saint of the church, but really disliked as a man. The monks at Canterbury couldn't stand the sight of him! And when they saw the knights coming they scurried away and didn't defend him. And then later they were all "Oh, No... the Archbishop has died....'"
"Many like to think Pope Innocent III was not SO cynical where human lives and souls are concerned... I personally think he was."
Dr. Smith: "And how did the Albigensian crusade go? Successful?"
Andrew: "Well? I don't know. It's hard to say. It went on and on and on..."
Dr. Smith: "But most who were killed were actually NOT heretics!"
Andrew: "Philip doesn't want to be married to this Danish Princess."
Dr. Smith: "Why?"
Andrew: "I don't know. There's lots of stories... many of them inappropriate."
Dr. Smith: "They get married and like the NEXT DAY the marriage is rejected. Something bad happened on the wedding day and he NEVER wants to see her again!"
"Philip II never helps the papacy. But he never helps anybody. Ever. ...Except himself."
"Some would argue that the one person who helped make the most success for the French Capetian monarchy is actually.... England's King John."
"In a book on Frederick, when Gregory IX appears you're supposed to boo and hiss!"
"The study of the 14th century hasn't been very popular recently but I fancy it'll make a comeback - all that doom and gloom - it's really the theme for our time!"
"My impression is that people in the Middle Ages are overwhelmingly called John."
"Medieval universities aren't really great for spreading new ideas, on the whole."
"So they were just bad? What about them being Protestant? Oh, or are you equating that with being bad?"
"It was Charles VI that was totally insane. He thought he was a pane of glass and he wouldn't go anywhere cause someone could bump into him and he's crack... He WAS cracked!"
------------------------------------------------
Dr. Gavitt - Theory and Practice of History
On theory books: "I am surprised by works like Lyotard that propose solutions. Really the ones that just complain are much better."
Matt: "He basically argues that Structuralism... there's like a structure to it. wait..."
Matt: "I looked at the picture of the author before I read the book, and decided already that I really didn't like him."
Re: mental hospitals - "In the 1960s it was far too easy to commit people who you simply disliked or who got in the way of your designs."
"It's sort of like comparisons between Macs and IBMs, where Macs are like Catholicism - it's all there for you, and IBM is like Protestantism - with a plethora of choices!"
-------------------------------------------------------
Professor Marler - Intro to Latin Paleography
"Ah Gothic Cursive. It's everybody's favorite hand... to hate."
Re: The Latin word for Pope, Papae - "As it says in the book of Genesis, I am what I am, and I am Popeye the Sailor Man!"
"The contemporary science of textbook criticism is based on a work that everyone hates."
"If Manuscript A got vaporized... by a bomb... you'd never know of Archetype [A]."
"This manuscript no longer exists. Some American bought it, chopped it up, and sent it to his kids as Christmas cards."
"In other words, what we don't want is incest. Nooo mixed texts. Manuscript B would go in the trashcan."
Student: "So, if someone publishes a critical text, and a new manuscript is found that refutes it, what then?"
Dr. Marler: "I imagine then would come suicide, or homicide."
"The ivory tower is full of felons."
"You need to have the attitude of a rather cynical mercenary when you enter into the world of academia. The battle isn't over after you defend your dissertation. It's over after you WIN tenure."
_______________________________________________
Preserving quotes from class helps ensure that I look back on all my classes fondly by selectively remembering mostly only good stuff!
Although, looking back at all the tagged -isms, none will ever top Miller-isms. What a humorous man.