News :)
I finally managed to secure a job!
Go me! I'm really just so relieved to be working.
Long story cut short, I'll explain just. how. relieved.
I've enjoyed immensely, any job I've had. I tend to settle into new work well, and...as far as I'm concerned, (and my personal opinion is all that's needed :P), have always conducted myself appropriately and been good at my work.
However, I've had a fair few jobs.
I used to get these really odd feelings every day before I began work (no matter what it was - childcare/administration/government/pizza delivery/anything). I would feel really queasy, to the point of wanting to be sick (although the only time I ever did, I was pregnant with Layla..lol..). My hands would shake uncontrollably, I'd become breathless, want to cry and would totally FEAR the thought of going to work.
Rather than dealing with these feelings (oh, I tried...but they were very overpowering a lot of the time and I eventually gave up), I would find something "wrong" with the workplace, and leave. I took the easy way out. But I guess I was always scared..so it was the most logical thing for me to do. Fighting the fear never came into the question. I went straight to flight mode.
Never did I realise these were syptoms of anything. I was explaining to my Dad the other day that I was worried these feelings would once again occur (after I told him about my latest job role), and he mentioned I may have anxiety.
It was amazing how much sense everything made to me after this.
After finally realising all these syptoms actually had a name, I was able to fight it! I've been at work two days now, and am enjoying it a lot. Quite a lot! I'm not suffering these panic attacks at all (I know it's early days but I'm feeling very positive), and I am loving my work. I'm loving the fact I can complete my work easily, and it isn't a daily struggle. I'm just so happy my baby girl has a working Mummy, and I will be able to give her a good life. I'm happy I am making myself happy, and not relying on anyone else to do so. I am achieving my goals. Layla isn't in daycare for no reason anymore! There are millions of things I could give thanks for at this moment in time... I guess the main thing I am happy about, is that I have found myself again.
I can move on :)
Which, I am doing! I am going out a little more often (with Layla in tow, of course :D). I'm making the effort to visit old friends (or rather, one in particular, but it's still a little 'funny' as he's my ex and I sometimes get uncomfortable with that), and make new ones. The boss is having a BBQ at his place this weekend for all the staff and their families. Normally this would be something I would miss...not anymore! I'm making the effort to enjoy life. We only live once.
Keira xxx
PS - You can thank my workplace for the newfound love of life. I'm a Receptionist (doing a traineeship while I can as well :) I'll have a Cert. III in Business Administration by the end of it) for a Funeral Directors.
So, really, make the most of every moment.
PPS - Layla is great! We're going to her cousin's christening tomorrow (Brocklan), and I'm in charge of photo-taking, so, there will be a photo post of them both sometime soon I'm sure.
Love to you all!
Go me! I'm really just so relieved to be working.
Long story cut short, I'll explain just. how. relieved.
I've enjoyed immensely, any job I've had. I tend to settle into new work well, and...as far as I'm concerned, (and my personal opinion is all that's needed :P), have always conducted myself appropriately and been good at my work.
However, I've had a fair few jobs.
I used to get these really odd feelings every day before I began work (no matter what it was - childcare/administration/government/pizza delivery/anything). I would feel really queasy, to the point of wanting to be sick (although the only time I ever did, I was pregnant with Layla..lol..). My hands would shake uncontrollably, I'd become breathless, want to cry and would totally FEAR the thought of going to work.
Rather than dealing with these feelings (oh, I tried...but they were very overpowering a lot of the time and I eventually gave up), I would find something "wrong" with the workplace, and leave. I took the easy way out. But I guess I was always scared..so it was the most logical thing for me to do. Fighting the fear never came into the question. I went straight to flight mode.
Never did I realise these were syptoms of anything. I was explaining to my Dad the other day that I was worried these feelings would once again occur (after I told him about my latest job role), and he mentioned I may have anxiety.
It was amazing how much sense everything made to me after this.
After finally realising all these syptoms actually had a name, I was able to fight it! I've been at work two days now, and am enjoying it a lot. Quite a lot! I'm not suffering these panic attacks at all (I know it's early days but I'm feeling very positive), and I am loving my work. I'm loving the fact I can complete my work easily, and it isn't a daily struggle. I'm just so happy my baby girl has a working Mummy, and I will be able to give her a good life. I'm happy I am making myself happy, and not relying on anyone else to do so. I am achieving my goals. Layla isn't in daycare for no reason anymore! There are millions of things I could give thanks for at this moment in time... I guess the main thing I am happy about, is that I have found myself again.
I can move on :)
Which, I am doing! I am going out a little more often (with Layla in tow, of course :D). I'm making the effort to visit old friends (or rather, one in particular, but it's still a little 'funny' as he's my ex and I sometimes get uncomfortable with that), and make new ones. The boss is having a BBQ at his place this weekend for all the staff and their families. Normally this would be something I would miss...not anymore! I'm making the effort to enjoy life. We only live once.
Keira xxx
PS - You can thank my workplace for the newfound love of life. I'm a Receptionist (doing a traineeship while I can as well :) I'll have a Cert. III in Business Administration by the end of it) for a Funeral Directors.
So, really, make the most of every moment.
PPS - Layla is great! We're going to her cousin's christening tomorrow (Brocklan), and I'm in charge of photo-taking, so, there will be a photo post of them both sometime soon I'm sure.
Love to you all!