another beginning
So it has officially begun, some new development in my life that leaves me so confused and at such a loss for words, yet overflowing with feelings of such intensity that the least I can do is try to describe the world racing around my mind. This is the test, here, on my own, paying my bills, living in my house, with my friends, doing the school thing and the work thing and stiving to excell because it is what i have come to expect of myself. funny really how the standards of socity have become my own. although my view of said standards is so far from what is expected. I know I have to conform...like andrew said, there has to be some level of conformity for you to be able to afford the life you want to live. So I work hard, I value that education i recieve, i thrive on the challenge and knowledge and the more I learn the more i long to know, it is some overflowing source of information which seeps past my feet every day, daring me to test the waters. and here I am...slightly worried, but finally challanged for the first time in years and this is how i know I can do it, and from here I go anywhere...learning...i love it. Although this atmosphere leaves me slightly confused. And things with ethan are good, we spend a lot of time together, and i love it, and things with eric are likewise well, though the combination of good fortunes leaves me slightly confused...but so what...all love...and my love goes out to liz and all the girls who lost yet another amazing person far too soon. Cheech, you will be missed,much love for the lovely at heart. and many bear hugs and comforting wishes to all those who loved her....to sleep, perchance to dream...