i knew it was my fault...
today i decided i had to live my life. I know brian wouldnt want to see me grief in the way that i imagine of doing. I went to work today but i left early because my day was so miserable just thinking to myself all of the times we did spend. and how i could have prevented all of this from happening.
Well,
I decided brians parents have always been there for me and i wasnt going to turn my back on them like i did him. I went and i saw them today. They were still in as much shock as i was of course more... those where his parents. They talked to me for a while and i couldnt handle it any more. I stood up and i apologized for letting them down and i walked out the door.
They basically told me what i already knew.
"He waited on you."
"He wasnt going to go out with them."
"If you just would have called."
"What else did you have to do that seemed so important."
They basically told me...
"you are to blame."
which i already knew...
in a way...
i killed my best friend and i dont know what to do about it. I dont know how to act. What to feel. What to think. My mind just goes blank and my heart drops and i get so sick. I dont know what to do. How do i live my life knowing...
my cousin died and i have no control over that.
Now, my best friend up here dies and i did
But i just didnt do anything.
Well,
I decided brians parents have always been there for me and i wasnt going to turn my back on them like i did him. I went and i saw them today. They were still in as much shock as i was of course more... those where his parents. They talked to me for a while and i couldnt handle it any more. I stood up and i apologized for letting them down and i walked out the door.
They basically told me what i already knew.
"He waited on you."
"He wasnt going to go out with them."
"If you just would have called."
"What else did you have to do that seemed so important."
They basically told me...
"you are to blame."
which i already knew...
in a way...
i killed my best friend and i dont know what to do about it. I dont know how to act. What to feel. What to think. My mind just goes blank and my heart drops and i get so sick. I dont know what to do. How do i live my life knowing...
my cousin died and i have no control over that.
Now, my best friend up here dies and i did
But i just didnt do anything.